Guarding Aisha

by Zoë Normandie

  The noise brought the pilot out from the cockpit. Jake raised his pistol, black ski mask still on. He felt ferocious. He saw a terrorist. He saw an enemy.

  “Stop,” Jake instructed the pilot.

  The pilot raised his hands. “Who the hell are you?” His gold insignia flashed under the interior pot lights.

  But Jake didn’t see a pilot. He gripped his pistol tighter, willing to shoot at any provocation.

  “Put the gun down, buddy,” the pilot said calmly with his hands raised.

  “Tell me one reason why I should trust you,” Jake barked. His muscles were tight and his focus unwavering. The pilot was a danger to someone he held dear. Jake couldn’t allow it.

  “I was sent here to pick up four passengers. I have a feeling I’m looking at two of them,” the pilot said in a soothing voice. “We are all on the same side here, my friend.”

  “I’m not your fucking friend.” Jake’s voice grew angrier, and his finger itched to squeeze the trigger. “Face the wall and kneel.”

  The pilot seemed just as terrified as Aisha. They looked at each other in panic.

  Jake looked the man up and down. He looked exactly like the type of person who wasn’t supposed to be there. How the hell could he be sure that he wasn’t a plant from among the sheikh’s men?

  The pilot edged closer to the red phone hanging off the cabinet.

  “I said, face the fucking wall and kneel,” Jake snapped, moving toward the pilot to force him down.

  Jake felt sweat on the back of his neck, keeping his pistol aimed at the pilot. What was he doing? Was this guy a bad guy, or was he on their side? He started questioning his own suspicions. He thought about what had happened with the tree trimmer on the ski hill. Shell shock took many forms, and it came out at the least opportune times.

  As Jake looked over and saw Aisha watching him with wide, scared eyes, he heard the security guards coming back out of the building. Everyone waited for his play. What was he going to do next? This pilot could be their only chance.

  Aisha’s eyes flitted back and forth between Jake and the pilot.

  “It’s okay,” she offered. “Jake, I think we can trust him.”

  Aisha’s voice was tender but firm. She was leading him. Jake felt an awakening inside, like he was being lifted from another reality. He blinked several times, beginning to see the pilot for who he probably was: a legit pilot. He had to put his trust in Aisha. They needed to keep going.

  Voices drew closer to the jet, and Jake recognized them. Kate and Charles had arrived. He stepped back, pushing Aisha a few steps backward with him, and glanced down the stairs. Charles and Kate were on their way up.

  “What the hell are you doing?” Kate snapped as she stepped into the plane, looking back and forth between Jake and the pilot. “Put that fucking gun down!”

  Jake clenched his teeth, not wanting to take orders from anyone. But before he could do anything stupid, Aisha placed her hand on his arm. It was enough to draw him out and start calming the situation.

  With a deep breath, Jake lowered his gun. But he remained tense and watchful. She was right. His suspicions began to relax. He started seeing more of what was in front of him.

  Jake gave the pilot one last assessing look. “Fine. Get back to the cockpit and get us out of here.”

  Before Kate could protest, the pilot nodded and turned on his heels, muttering something about Navy SEALs on his way.

  Charles smiled sarcastically and cocked his head like he was going to laugh. He eyed Jake up and down. “Look, a hero.”

  The word burned Jake deep in his chest. He took one threatening step toward Charles, muscles tensed and flexed.

  “Don’t you fucking call me that.”

  Charles stood firm, his eyes narrowing at Jake. One thing was clear—they were never, ever going to fucking work together again.

  Sneering, Jake grabbed Aisha settled them closer to the back of the jet in side-by-side seats.

  The jet engine flicked on and started warming. He heard the pilot making calls from the front. From the window, he could see the security guards running back inside. No doubt they went to go deal with the inhabitants of the SUV.

  Kate sat many rows up with Charles, and the two ducked their heads to conspire, shooting Jake the occasional pissed-off glare. Jake knew he’d been a bad, bad boy.

  Aisha remained quiet beside him for a moment, and he looked over. Jake exhaled deeply. With any luck, they’d be up and on their way soon. The jet began to taxi to the runway.

  “What the hell was that all about?” she questioned him quietly.

  “It’s hard to explain.”

  “Try me.”

  Jake considered it. After everything they’d been through, the least he could do was try to be honest with her. She’d seen enough. She deserved an explanation.

  “When you are deployed, everyone is a potential threat.” He began, trying to get the words out. “And I just can’t shake it…”

  His voice trailed off. Aisha radiated only empathy. But he’d never talked to anyone about it before. So he stopped, noticing a slight frown hit her face.

  Ignoring the situation, feeling the mounting pressure to talk, he sifted through the contents in the console in front of them. “Listen, I need a drink,” he said, trying to shake off the conversation.

  He passed her a small plastic bottle of caramel-colored liquid.

  “What is this?” she asked, and he felt the hurt feelings in her tone. He needed to do a better job at opening up to her. It was just so damn hard.

  “Whiskey,” he replied. “Helps people relax.”

  “Is that a medical fact?” she asked.

  “A very medical, highly scientific fact.”

  She took a gulp.

  “Easy.” He grinned and took the bottle from her. “Drinking alcohol… Is this part of your westernization?”

  She gave him a forced half smile. “Sure.”

  He raised the bottle to his lips. “Here’s to you. Your new life.”

  He swallowed, and she smiled when he reached over and put the bottle to her own lips. Their eyes connected, and he saw the same trepidation that he felt, which only served to make matters worse.

  “And what about you?” she mumbled.

  “What about me?”

  “Do you always answer a question with a question?”

  He cocked his head sardonically at her, his chest tightening protectively.

  He knew exactly what she meant. What she was after. But he hated the truth.

  “Jake… what’s next for you, after we land?”

  She offered him a smile. But he didn’t know how he was supposed to feel. Confused? All he knew was the constant burning desire to lock lips with her, to be near her.

  He exhaled long and deep. “I don’t know, Aisha. I wish I knew.”

  A short silence followed, but he knew her questions weren’t over. The woman asked too many questions—questions he had no capacity to answer.

  “Would you have killed him?” she said, referring to the pilot.

  He took a sip. It burned as it went down his throat, and he deflected. “When I was in the SEALs, and we’d come home from combat, people would ask me if I killed anyone.”

  “What did you tell them?”

  Jake didn’t want her to know how dark his secrets were. He looked down at his beautiful princess, her eyes bright with admiration and passion. All he wanted was to be the man she thought he was.

  “The thing is, Aisha, you aren’t supposed to ask that. You can’t ask me if I’ve killed anyone… or how many people I’ve killed.”

  “I still want to know, Jake. I want to know everything about what you’ve been through.”

  His eyes locked with hers, and he found his body moving toward her like a magnet. There was something about her mouth that drove him insane. He wanted to explore every square inch of it.

  She was incredible in every way. If only he’d known when he met her that she was going to end up meaning
that much to him. Truth was, he was falling for her.

  “I want you to confide in me.” She sounded so hopeful. “You said you could trust me.”

  He lifted his hand up to her face. She was so beautiful. So enticing.

  Make no mistake—things were going to go sideways when they landed. They would be separated for God knows how long, and Jake didn’t want her last memory of him to be about how ruthless he could be. Had been. Would be. He wanted her to remember him as the man who saved her when no one else could. The man who lifted her up. Encouraged her.

  “Jake, tell me what you carry inside,” she pleaded. “After everything we’ve been through together…”

  Her insinuation was clear, and she wasn’t wrong. But it just wasn’t something Jake was capable of doing. She had no idea the hallucinations he battled, increasingly so now that he’d let her in. The deeper his passion grew, the crazier he fucking felt. And deep down, he knew that something inside of him was going to implode when he had to say goodbye to her—in about T minus one hour.

  There was a reason why he couldn’t open Pandora’s box.

  “I just… can’t.” He shook his head, letting his gaze drop, unable to explain a fucking thing.

  Unable to let her in any further.

  That was why he wasn’t the hero. He was nothing. And as she sucked in a sharp, pained breath in realization, a tangible cold energy filled the void between them.

  18

  The hum of the jet wasn’t enough to drown out Aisha’s screaming thoughts. She avoided Jake’s gaze and kept to herself as something uncomfortable boiled up inside her. Something that left her feeling helpless.

  “Still alive?” He grunted beside her.

  Aisha shook her head, not wanting to be rejected again—but the words poured out anyway in a final effort to gain footing with him. “Where do you live? How do I contact you? Why won’t you tell me anything?”

  “Aisha, there’s something you need to understand,” he said sternly. “When we land, we are going to be separated. There’s nothing I can do. It doesn’t matter what you know about me. It’s not going to make a lick of difference.”

  “But you’ll find me?” Her tone grew desperate. “Eventually?”

  Jake looked at her blankly. He eyes held longing and remorse. He was all she knew. All she had.

  Her stomach dropped with his silence.

  “This isn’t it for us, is it?” Her words fell softly.

  Jake turned his head, staring ahead. Stoic was one way to put it; cold was another.

  Her stomach lurched, and she grew desperate to reach him. “I owe you everything.”

  “You owe me nothing,” he growled back, nearly as viciously as when Charles had called him a hero. He pointed back and forth between them, “When this happens, bad things happen. And I can’t afford to let any more bad things happen to you.”

  “You think you’ve screwed up? You’ve been there for me all along. You’ve protected me. I wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for you.” Aisha felt heat rising in her chest, and anger in her words. Why couldn’t he see what she saw?

  “You don’t understand.” He shook his head dismissively and stood up to walk the aisle.

  Suddenly, she felt cheap—she’d slept with him, after all. And it had felt real to her. It had meant something.

  Had it meant nothing to him? He refused to confide in her, refused to tell her anything about himself. She seethed, her exhausted mind finding every reason to be angry at him. To resent him. She was hurting in a way she’d never hurt before.

  When Jake sat beside her again, she wished for a fleeting moment that he wouldn’t. Her heart couldn’t take it anymore.

  “We’re almost there.”

  Turning back into the small airplane window, she bit her lip.

  “Don’t do that,” he said quietly, and she realized he was watching her face.

  “What?”

  “That thing you do.” He licked his bottom lip while looking at hers. “Don’t…”

  The more she hurt inside, the more she pouted and batted her eyelashes to hold back the crushing wave of tears that welled.

  “I said, don’t do that.” He rubbed his face with his hands.

  “I…” Aisha tried to get out words. “I…”

  The pilot came over the announcement system. “Beginning our descent, prepare for landing.”

  She felt like she was finally waking up. Jake wouldn’t tell her anything about himself because he already knew what she had refused to accept—that she wasn’t worthy. Closing her eyes to capture the tears, she turned her head to the window. She and Jake were never going to be a thing. It was folly to fantasize. And she feared that, like US citizenship and a fresh start, she was pining for something she could never have.

  19

  The Learjet found its way to the long, dark government runway and taxied quickly to a hangar. It was a late wintry night, and no beams of dawn threatened yet. From the window, Jake saw all he needed to confirm they were in the right place, being met by the right company. A few CIA SUVs hung around near the hangar, and important-looking officials were surrounded by airport security personnel. The welcoming party was small, but that was to be expected given the last-minute nature of her defection.

  Jake rubbed his chin, feeling the beginning of a beard that he never intended to be there. God only knew how rough he looked from camping and being on the run for two days straight. Aisha wasn’t much better off. Though in his mind she was unblemished, untouchable, it was clear that the woman needed some sleep. Dark circles spread under her eyes, and her face looked gaunt from the lack of nutrition.

  Kate and Charles stirred near the front of the plane, and the station chief caught Jake’s gaze. He’d pissed off some seriously powerful people in his day, and Kate was another one to add to the list. He knew he’d be in shit when they landed. He half expected court-martial to be there, even though he wasn’t in uniform any more.

  Aisha’s face pressed against the window as she viewed her new surroundings warily. It drove a stake through his chest to see her dealing with such instability. All he cared was that Aisha wasn’t about to get royally fucked. If only he could help her. But how could he?

  He didn’t want to let her out of his sight, but he no longer had a choice. She’d made her deal, and she had to go along with it or be deported—back into her father’s clutches. They had the legal authority to do so, after all. She had no papers, no right to be there. Nothing.

  Jake reached over and held her cold hand. He squeezed it tight. She didn’t squeeze back. Looking at her a little closer, it dawned on him that maybe she was overwhelmed by more than just the circumstance.

  “Hey,” he said, trying to tease her out of her shell.

  She looked up at him, but looked away again, refusing to say anything.

  He tried to figure out what was happening. Was she upset—with him? As he scanned the contingent waiting down the runway for them to disembark, he knew that it was then or never. He had been battling with what to say the entire flight. He was never good at saying the right thing.

  “Aisha.” He held her hand, speaking low and gentle. “You need to tell them everything you can. And you need it to be good.”

  She shrugged, and pursed her lips.

  “You need to make good on the deal, and really knock it out of the park. Make sure that you get a deal on paper. Sign it. Keep a copy. Start stockpiling documents in your name.”

  She nodded dismissively. “I know.”

  Jake spoke more quickly as their time ran out. “Nothing is set in stone. They could deport you if you don’t give them what they want. You need to do everything you can. I can’t run in there with guns and demand they give you citizenship.”

  The plane came to a full stop, and it didn’t take long for the pilot to whip out from the cockpit while ground crews began the deplaning process. The door to the jet opened, revealing a staircase to the ground, and Kate and Charles stepped out, waving to staff on the groun
d for support.

  As the air was sucked out of the plane, Aisha turned toward him. “Stay with me,” she pleaded.

  It was her final wish. The last thing she would ask of him.

  Jake gritted his teeth. He hated how powerless he was. She needed him. But there was nothing he could do.

  As she looked back at him, he saw not her eyes but the eyes of every vulnerable person he’d ever tried to save. He saw child soldiers. Young women. He saw people who’d died and shouldn’t have.

  He wasn’t a hero. Why did he even try? His heart nearly broke as her tears started pouring out.

  “Please,” she cried. “Please, Jake.”

  He exhaled deeply. He hated his answer. He hated the reality.

  “They probably won’t let me stay at all.” He raised her hand to his lips and kissed it. But I will find you.”

  His answer wasn’t good enough—not for him, and not for her. Her lifeless hand slid out of his.

  He moved to wipe the tears from her cheek.

  “No.” She pushed him away and stood up. “No.”

  He let out a disappointed breath, and gripped the seat back in front of him to get out. He had never wanted it to end up this way.

  Jake walked the aisle to the exit. Aisha shuffled behind him, and he felt how she was hurting. He was only just starting to realize how much of that he had caused.

  He turned back one last time, just before exiting the plane, and looked at the woman who stood behind him. The brave, beautiful woman.

  “I will find you,” he growled, frustrated at his lack of control.

  She blinked up at him, and then down again—quickly averting her gaze. She was shutting him out.

  And then Kate came back up the stairs with agents in tow, pushing him out of the way. Everything in his body flexed. But he couldn’t fight back. He had nothing left to fight for. Aisha had to return to their custody, and he had to return home.

  So he moved down the plane staircase through the biting cold, promising himself it wouldn’t be the last time he saw the Princess of Yoman.

  Kate directed officials as they wrapped Aisha in a blanket and whisked her away from him. The tall blonde looked back over her shoulder at Jake, and he saw the bitter resentment in her eyes. He’d really fucked up her op. She would have to explain to a lot of people why things had gotten out of hand.