Vow (Dark and Dangerous Book 3)

by Kaye Blue

  At that thought, I looked at him, again met his dark eyes, and then sank deeper into the love seat.

  I realized that letting my guard down was an oxymoron. As I had discovered, and rediscovered, I was completely at this man’s mercy.

  Asleep, fully awake, it made no difference.

  It was a depressing thought but one that was strangely comforting, one that gave me the last push I needed to give into sleep, a need that suddenly seemed imperative.

  At the very least, if I was sleeping, I could imagine I was with Ivan and had never met that man.

  Which was last thing I should have been thinking.

  After all, it was because of Ivan that I was even here.

  I knew that.

  What other explanation could there be?

  No one would kidnap me, certainly not someone as skilled as this man clearly was, without my connection to Ivan.

  Knowing that should have been the thing I needed to finally rid myself of my feelings for him, but it wasn’t.

  I wasn’t angry at him. I just wanted to see him again.

  Maybe—

  My thoughts, free-floating clouds on the road to sleep, scattered at the sound of wood shattering.

  More like exploding.

  One moment I was on a love seat more than halfway asleep, and the next I had bolted upright, my gaze moving wildly around the room before settling on the front door, which seemed to explode off its hinges.

  On instinct I looked at the man, who hadn’t moved except to wrap his hand around the butt of a gun I only then noticed.

  Otherwise, he looked completely unperturbed.

  I, on the other hand, had no idea what to do.

  So I did nothing, just stood there gaping, wondering what would happen next.

  When Ivan stepped through the hole where the door had once been, I thought I might faint from the relief.

  I didn’t.

  Instead, I ran toward him and threw my arms around his neck.

  His arms encircled me, and I had never felt as happy and safe as I did in that moment.

  But then I quickly realized I was neither.

  “We have to…”

  I had thought I was whispering but trailed off when I realized that my voice was loud. And more importantly, Ivan wasn’t moving.

  I been about to tell him that we needed to go, that the man had a gun, but there was no way Ivan had missed that.

  I glanced at the man, who still hadn’t moved but had something like an expression on his face. It wasn’t exactly a smirk, but it wasn’t the dead, blank features that I had become so familiar with.

  Then I looked Ivan, who still had his arms wrapped around me, though he wasn’t looking at me.

  Instead, I realized that his body was rigid, his gaze riveted to the man, his features as angry as I had ever seen them.

  “What the fuck did you do, Viktor?”

  Seventeen

  Ivan

  I could feel Tru’s eyes on me, feel her confusion, but I kept my eyes on Viktor.

  “Viktor? You know him?”

  At the slight crack in her voice, I looked away from Viktor, whom I wanted to rip apart limb from limb, and down at her.

  The terror in her eyes had been replaced by confusion, and while I didn’t like either, confusion was better.

  “Are you okay?”

  I whispered the question, the anger that had been in my voice seconds earlier fleeing.

  My relief at having her in my arms again knocked the wind out of my lungs.

  And made all those hours before worth it.

  When I left her place, I had been in a frenzy, wild, ready to rip apart the world to find her.

  Ezekiel had found me first.

  “Ivan, you need to calm down,” he’d said.

  I’d smiled at him, feeling feral, crazed, needing to kill something and deciding that he would do.

  “No, I need to find her and then chop whoever took her into tiny pieces.”

  “No, you need to calm down.”

  Somehow, his words had sunk in and realization had hit me like a flash.

  “He’s behind this,” I’d said, looking at Ezekiel.

  “Probably.”

  It taken us another day to track Viktor down, something we hadn’t been able to do without Aras’s help.

  And now that he was in front of me, I felt that rage building again.

  It was only Tru in my arms and my concern for her that was grounding me.

  “I’m okay,” she whispered, though I wondered if that were true.

  I’d find out, but first I had business to attend to.

  “What is the meaning of this?”

  I could barely speak, could barely look at him, though my obvious anger had no effect on him.

  “I’m completing the task as assigned,” Viktor said nonchalantly.

  He hadn’t taken his hand off the gun at his side but stood in a casual posture.

  “The task as assigned was to watch her, not kidnap her,” I said through clenched teeth.

  At Tru’s sharp inhale, I glanced at her again, knowing that she expected an explanation, one that I intended to give her.

  Later.

  “I don’t tell you how to do your job. You don’t tell me how to do mine.”

  “Bullshit. Explain yourself and tell me why I shouldn’t kill you where you stand.”

  “You need me, and besides, you wouldn’t want your friend to see that.”

  He went quiet for moment, perhaps waiting for reaction, one I was determined not to give him.

  “And as for explaining myself, I don’t. But since you’re so emotional, I guess I’ll make an exception,” he said.

  He spoke matter-of-factly, his voice lacking all inflection, but I couldn’t shake the sense that he was taunting me. The feeling was reinforced when I looked at Tru, who was glaring at him.

  “That place of hers was a death trap. Somebody tried to hit you there before?”

  “Yeah,” I said, the edge still in my voice.

  “I can’t believe they failed. There are probably a thousand ways in and out of that building. Impossible to properly secure, especially for the length of time you needed,” he said.

  I’d considered that, but then decided it was more important that Tru be comfortable, better that she not know I had someone looking after her at all.

  “So, you took it upon yourself to kidnap her?”

  “Yes.”

  “You’re behind us?”

  I looked at Tru, saw the confusion and anger in her eyes.

  “We’ll talk later,” I said.

  “We’ll talk now,” she responded, making an effort to put distance between us.

  I didn’t allow it.

  “Later.”

  She wanted to argue but didn’t, though the death stare she was shooting at me was one I didn’t miss.

  “You have another safe house?” I asked.

  “Of course,” Viktor said, looking halfway annoyed that I’d even asked the question.

  “Take us there.”

  “Take yourself. And don’t get spotted. I have to clean up here.”

  He gave me the details, reiterated that I needed to make sure we didn’t get spotted, and then we left.

  We didn’t speak the entire time, but I could feel the emotion rolling off Tru in waves.

  Confusion, anger, relief.

  I understood all of them more than she would probably believe.

  We made it to the new safe house without incident, but I checked it then checked it again.

  Only once I was reasonably sure it was safe did I look at Tru.

  She had wrapped her arms around her waist, keeping herself distant from me.

  Something I refused to allow.

  I pulled her arms down to her sides and locked our fingers, my eyes never leaving hers.

  I exhaled deeply, the depth of my emotion again hitting me anew.

  In those hours I had thought the worst, imagined I would never see her a
gain, imagined that the light she was in the world had been snuffed out.

  Even thinking it now was like a blow to the chest, and she tilted her head, studying me.

  “You okay?”

  The question was surprising, but it shouldn’t have been. Always, even in our lowest moments, even before she knew me—really knew me—she cared.

  “I should be asking you that question,” I said, rather than exploring those emotions that were welling up.

  “I’m fine, all things considered. You were going to explain some things,” she said.

  The shift was quick, but I understood.

  I knew she deserved answers, and I wanted to give them to her, but doing so felt wrong.

  She shook her head. “No. You’re trying to talk yourself out of telling me what’s going on. But that’s not an option.”

  “This wasn’t supposed to happen,” I said.

  “What is ‘this’? What wasn’t supposed to happen?”

  “I wanted to make sure you were looked after. That you were safe,” I said, my voice trembling over that last word.

  “So, you hired that guy?” she said, her voice incredulous, her expression unbelieving.

  Unable stop myself, I leaned forward, kissed her nose, her cheek, and then pulled back before things went any further.

  “He’s very good,” I said.

  “Yeah, I got that impression. But he’s scary as fuck.”

  “It’s part of what makes him so good.”

  “So what do you have planned? And why?”

  The last question was significant, one that I wasn’t sure I wanted to answer, that I could, so I tackled the first.

  “I just wanted to make sure you were safe. Things are happening right now, and I don’t know how they’re going to play out.”

  “Ivan, you’re being vague.”

  She pulled her hand from mine, and I immediately missed her warmth, and even more, hated the distance she was trying to put between us.

  But, as much as I wanted to, I didn’t try to stop her.

  “I need you to tell me. Everything.”

  She had to have some idea, especially after what she had seen at the club and at her place, but I’d made it a point to keep her in the dark.

  That wouldn’t work, not anymore.

  The question was, could I go further, open myself even more?

  “You don’t know what you’re asking,” I said.

  “Don’t I? I’m asking for your trust. After what I went through, I deserve that.”

  There was something she wasn’t saying, something she wasn’t asking, but now wasn’t the time for me to consider that.

  “Tru, you have no idea what you’re asking.”

  “I do,” she said with a firmness and certainty that was heartbreaking. But also one that lifted me.

  Because the truth was, after what she’d seen before, she should have never spoken to me again. After Viktor taking her, she should have run.

  But she hadn’t.

  “I need to take care of the people who tried to kill me. I’m going to do that, and soon. I just wanted to make sure that in the meantime you were protected, taken care of.”

  “Did I need to be?” she whispered.

  “I don’t know. I wasn’t going to leave it to chance.”

  “But that last time… You said you were gone.”

  “And I was. But that didn’t mean I was going to just leave you unsafe. That there was even a chance…”

  I trailed off, not wanting to say the words, not needing to if her expression was anything to go by.

  “Wait a second. How did you know I was gone?”

  “What can I say? You make me weak,” I said as nonchalantly as I could.

  She let out a laugh, one that was halfway between us a huff and a sigh.

  “I find that hard to believe?”

  “I don’t know. It’s true,” I said.

  She had looked down, but I put my fingers under her chin, turned her head to face me.

  “You don’t see it, don’t know what you do to me. But I do.”

  I went quiet, stroked her cheek, and then put my hand on her neck.

  “I told myself I was going to stay away, but it was impossible. I need you too much.”

  I felt exposed by the confession, but I couldn’t take the words back and didn’t want to.

  As crazy as it was, as dangerous, I wanted this woman. Wanted her beyond all reason and couldn’t kill the hope that she wanted me back.

  She blinked, kept her eyes down, but in the next breath lifted them again.

  “I need you too.”

  Eighteen

  Tru

  I shouldn’t have said anything.

  That would have been smart.

  Not a smart as getting away from him and making sure I never saw him again.

  But doing that was impossible, was something I couldn’t make myself do, no matter how much sense it might make.

  Pushing him was something I should have done, especially after all that he’d said. And what he hadn’t.

  Those moments of terror with Viktor, the fear that my life would be over—all of that was because of him. I had known that before, had direct confirmation of it now, but I still couldn’t make myself be angry.

  Because at the base of it all, he had tried to protect me, had told me he was leaving but then cared enough to make sure I was okay.

  That shouldn’t surprise me, but it did.

  Confirmed that, if nothing else, I wasn’t alone, not completely anyway.

  But did that matter?

  I looked at Ivan, really looked at him, studying his face, trying to see something.

  I didn’t know what.

  What did I see there?

  I saw his concern for me.

  That had always been there, something that even still made me shy, humble.

  It mattered to me that he worried about me.

  Maybe that was pathetic.

  No, that was definitely pathetic, but it was also true.

  He cared, and seeing that care was the thing that pushed me over the edge.

  None of this made any sense.

  The time before, the tears I cried, the insanity that was his life.

  There was my own life to consider. I had the clinic and the work I did there. Could I give that up?

  None of this made any sense, but I was again reminded that none of it mattered. Not really.

  Because I’d lived a life without him before.

  One that was empty, sad.

  And I’d lived a life with him after.

  One that was dangerous, crazy, unlike anything I had known before. One that I wanted because I wanted him.

  And that was the base of it.

  Was it terrifying, risky, dangerous to be with him? Would my life change?

  It was, and my life would change, and there was no way I could pretend otherwise.

  Because at the same time, I knew what life without him was like, how cold, how empty.

  And when comparing those, thinking about one and then the other, I knew there was no choice.

  I glanced up at him, saw that concern in his eyes again, and saw when it became something else.

  There were so many things I wanted to say, but I couldn’t think of a way to form the words, couldn’t give voice to the thing that I was only barely beginning to understand.

  But maybe, possibly, I could show him.

  I stretched up tall to kiss him, brushed my lips against his softly. But even though the kiss was light, it was filled with emotion.

  Or at least I hoped it was.

  Ivan breathed out, the sound filled with emotion that I understood.

  I broke the kiss and stared at him but then looked away.

  I grabbed his hand and led him toward the bedroom. When we reached the bed, I began to undress him, peeling away his clothes layer by layer.

  When he was naked, I stared at him, the sight of his naked form, the power visible in every inch of him ta
king my breath away.

  I pushed him to sit and then undressed and walked toward him. I straddled him, his hardness brushing against my sex. I reached between us and grasped him at the root.

  I moved slowly, taking him in inch by inch.

  We both exhaled when he was fully seated, and I looked into his eyes, knew that he felt it too.

  Ivan squeezed my hips, urging me to move. I did.

  I rocked in a slow, steady rhythm, letting the passion build.

  I met Ivan’s eyes again, clenched tight around his hardness.

  The world around us was might be messy, dangerous, but this, the connection between us, was pure.

  I hoped it was enough.

  Nineteen

  Tru

  “What is it?”

  I could sense the change in him, feel the distance he was putting between us.

  “Nothing,” he said.

  He stroked a hand on my arm but didn’t meet my eyes.

  “Ivan.”

  I spoke his name as sternly as I could, but he didn’t look at me.

  Proof, not that I needed it, that something was wrong.

  “Ivan,” I repeated.

  This time he shifted, turning his dark eyes to meet mine.

  “What?” he asked, his voice tight.

  “What is it?” I whispered, my voice pleading. I didn’t care.

  His eyes flashed, something like pain in them, but he quickly squashed it down, shrugged.

  “I don’t know. What could possibly be?”

  His voice had a sarcastic edge, but it didn’t dissuade me.

  “I’m here, you know?”

  He frowned, and a realization hit me.

  “That’s the problem.”

  I supplied the words so he wouldn’t have to.

  “Tru…”

  He looked at me again, his eyes pleading, but for what I didn’t know.

  “Tell me.”

  “This, us…”

  “There’s an us?” I asked.

  “There has always been an us.”

  His voice was stern, certain, and I couldn’t suppress the little thrill that went through me.

  “Then what’s the problem?”

  I could guess at the answer, but I wanted to hear it from him.

  “Are you really asking me that?”

  He sounded incredulous, borderline angry.

  “I’m really asking.”