Communication

by Stella Notecor

  ~*~

  Tatiana shouldn’t have worried. Mama always knew how to cheer people up. They spent most of dinner laughing at stories she told about Dad.

  Then, as they were getting ready to leave, Tatiana saw her pull Jordan aside. Groaning internally, she turned up her hearing.

  “Jordan Cole, when are you gonna make an honest woman out of my baby girl?” Mama frowned at him.

  Tatiana cringed. “Ma!” She hooked her arm around Jordan’s. “Come on, let’s go. The next thing you know, she’ll be asking about grandkids.” She tugged him towards the door.

  Mama shook her head. “One day, baby girl. One day I’ll get me some pudgy grandbabies. Though I’ll probably have to wait for Sean to grow up first.”

  Tatiana rolled her eyes. “No guilt-tripping me.” She kissed Mama on the cheek. “I’m only twenty-seven.”

  “That’s old-age when it comes to eggs. And Jordan’s thirty! Lord knows his swimmers aren’t getting any younger.”

  Jordan coughed to cover up a laugh. Tatiana wanted to sink into the ground. They’d only been dating for six months. They hadn’t talked about anything more serious than whose apartment they’d be sleeping in.

  “I’ll call you tomorrow, Mama.” She opened the door and ushered Jordan outside. Mama kept squawking behind her about babies and advanced maternal age, but Tatiana ignored her, turning her hearing down to normal levels.

  She’d heard it all before; Mama had been pestering her for grandkids for five years now. She didn’t want to settle down yet—she had a great career and she wanted to enjoy her carefree life a little longer.

  Though recently she had started thinking more about kids and marriage.

  She waited until they had both climbed into the car and were pulling away from Mama’s house before she spoke. “What do you think about getting married?” she asked quietly. “Not now, but in a couple of years.”

  Jordan gripped the steering wheel tighter. “I’m not interested.”

  She sucked in a breath. “Not at all?”

  “No.” He kept his eyes on the road ahead of him.

  “I... why?”

  “I watched my parents’ marriage go up in flames.”

  “That doesn’t mean you can’t get married.”

  “No, it means that I don’t want to.”

  “What if you’re in love?”

  Jordan came to a stop at a red light. His fingers drummed a staccato rhythm against the steering wheel. “I can feel emotions. I understand them pretty well. But the only one I’ve never been able to understand is love.”

  “Because it’s incomprehensible.”

  “No, because it can’t exist alone. Love is intertwined with hope and joy and lust and all these other emotions.”

  That made sense. Tatiana had never spontaneously loved someone without feeling anything else towards them. Love had always grown from some other emotion. “Isn’t that a good thing? Don’t you want to feel joy and lust towards someone you love?”

  Jordan shook his head. “It’s too easy for those emotions to change. Then love disappears.”

  “Love doesn’t just disappear.” Mama still loved Dad, even after all these years.

  “All I know is, people fall out of love every day, and I don’t want to be legally bound to someone when it happens.”

  Tatiana looked down at her hands. The middle fingernail on her left hand had a huge chip in the polish. Getting married had always been a given, something she’d do one day when she found the right guy. She’d met people before who claimed they’d never get married, but they still had long-term partners and children. She wanted marriage and babies, but when it came down to it, she could compromise.

  “Would you have kids with a girlfriend?”

  He rubbed his forehead with one hand. “No.”

  “Why?” The question burst out of her, the frustration she was feeling coloring her words.

  Jordan twitched at the sudden onslaught of emotion. She forced herself to cool down.

  “Why?” she asked again, calmly.

  “I got stuck in the middle of my parents’ custody battle.”

  “And you don’t want to do that to your kids.”

  “Exactly.” He glanced over at her. “Is that a deal breaker for you?”

  She examined her fingernails again. The ugly chip on her left hand eclipsed the beauty of the other nails. His feelings were understandable after what he’d gone through, but she wanted kids someday. She wanted a family like hers, full of love and affection.

  “I’ll have to think about it,” she said at last.

  He nodded. “I’m not planning on falling out of love. I’m just trying to be realistic.” He turned the corner and drove into the parking garage of her building. He parked in a guest spot, but he didn’t kill his engine. “Am I still invited in?”

  “Are you kidding? I’ve been thinking about tonight all week.” Her vibrator could attest to that.

  He turned off the car. “Me too.” Leaning over, he kissed her hard.

  She tangled her fingers in his slight afro. He’d have to cut it soon, but she liked playing with the tight curls. Her body thrummed. She pulled away. “I think we need to take this up to my place.”

  “Race you to the door!”

  Giggling, Tatiana grabbed her purse and hopped out of the car. She made a beeline for the elevator, but her heels slowed her down. Jordan arrived first and pressed the button.

  They waited for the old elevator to descend. Thanks to a difficult murder case Jordan was working on, they hadn’t been able to see each other for a week. She had missed him more than she expected.

  “How’s your case going?”

  Jordan shrugged. “Since the existence of paranormals was revealed last year, a lot of laws have been challenged and upheld. We’re hoping this one will be too.”

  “What law is that?”

  “The criminal in question is a shapeshifter who killed a man using his claws while shifted into a wolf. We want to set a precedent that claws and other non-human body parts are considered deadly weapons.”

  Tatiana wrinkled her nose. One of her coworkers had worked the crime scene of that case, and the pictures he had circulated afterwards made it very clear that claws could be lethal.

  “If non-human body parts are declared deadly weapons, then we’ll be able to increase the manslaughter charges to murder charges.” The elevator arrived. Holding hands, they stepped inside. Jordan pressed the button for Tatiana’s floor, then continued, “Once that precedent has been set...”

  Tatiana smiled at him as he continued to babble. He didn’t make as much money as an assistant district attorney as he could as a private lawyer, but he loved his job. They had met when she was called to testify in one of the first cases which openly involved paranormal activity. Jordan had taken on the case after he revealed to the district attorney that he was uniquely qualified for the position due to his own paranormal status.

  Her attraction to him had been immediate, but it wasn’t until she saw him attempting to protect paranormal rights while still getting a guilty sentence that she realized he was incredibly intelligent and caring. As soon as the trial ended, she had called him up and asked him to coffee.

  Since then, things between them had been easy. Until that night, they hadn’t argued about anything, but kids and marriage were big things to disagree on.

  When they reached her floor, the elevator dinged. Jordan was still talking, and he continued as they walked down the hall, entered Tatiana’s apartment, and headed for her bedroom.

  At the door to her room, she stopped him. “No work in bed,” she murmured. She wanted to leave her worries at the door: work, her dad, marriage, and babies. Grabbing his tie, she hauled him down for a kiss.

  As their lips met, heat spread throughout her body. His hands rose to her waist, pulling them together. Everywhere their bodies touched burned.

  Tatiana undid his tie, then threw it aside and began attacking his jacket buttons. He echoed
her movements, unzipping her dress and sliding it over her shoulders.

  She let the dress slide down her arms and pool at her feet. Jordan’s clothing joined it on the floor. She kicked the clothes to the side, then sent their shoes flying after. Clad in her undergarments, she sank to her knees.

  Jordan groaned. “You are killing me.”

  She winked. With his help, she removed his briefs. He stood before her, naked and ready.

  Gorgeous. Tatiana leaned forward and licked him. He groaned, his hips jutting forward. She let her hands wander, memorizing the planes of his body.

  She turned up her hearing. His breath came harsh and fast. His heartbeat pounded in his chest. She had done this to him. Warmth pooled between her legs, the feeling of power inflaming her.

  Jordan clasped her arm and pulled her to her feet. “As much as I enjoy your mouth, I want more than that tonight.” He kissed her, his lips lingering as Tatiana maneuvered him towards the bed.

  She fell back onto the mattress. Jordan paused to grab protection from her nightstand drawer, then he crawled into bed on top of her.

  They joined, their bodies slipping into a comfortable rhythm with little effort. Tatiana kissed down Jordan’s neck as he caressed her breasts. When he tweaked her nipples, she squeaked. In retaliation, she slid her hands to the middle of his back and tickled the sensitive spot just above his tailbone.

  He laughed, pulling away from her touch. “Don’t do that!”

  “Why not?” She trailed her fingernails up his spine. He shuddered, his head coming to rest on her shoulder. “When I do that, I can hear your heartbeat race.”

  He nipped at her collarbone, making her shudder too. “And when I do that, I can feel your lust overflow.”

  Tugging lightly on his hair, she pulled him into a kiss. Their tongues danced as their bodies rocked together. Tatiana could hear Jordan’s breathing quicken. He was getting close. She tingled all over, the knowledge of his pleasure increasing her own.

  Jordan gasped so softly that the creaking of the bedsprings nearly hid it. Tatiana had been listening for it. She knew what it meant. He was close, ready even, but holding back for her.

  She grasped his hand. Guiding him to her most sensitive spot, she showed him how to stimulate her. His touches grew more confident as warmth began to pool between her legs. She surrendered herself to her feelings.

  The heat between her legs exploded, radiating frissons of ecstasy throughout her body. Jordan gasped again, loudly this time, as he picked up on her emotions. His hips stuttered to a halt as he reached his peak.

  They held their positions for a long moment before Jordan flopped onto his side on the bed, separating them. Cool air rushed over Tatiana’s flushed skin, accentuating the space between them.

  She didn’t like the distance. She wanted him back inside her. She wanted to be joined again, to somehow remain joined for the rest of their lives.

  Jordan let out a long, low whistle. “Are you sure you aren’t a succubus?”

  “Quite sure.” She enjoyed sex, but she certainly didn’t use it to drink men’s energy.

  He shook his head. “I’ve never been with someone so passionate.”

  “We’re just good together.” His powers helped him figure out the best places to touch and taste in order to arouse her. She liked to think her ability to hear his body’s clues gave her an extra edge in the bedroom too.

  “Well, I’m beat. Mind if I sleep here?”

  “Not at all.” Tatiana was exhausted too. Between the anniversary, her coworkers, and their earlier discussion about marriage, she had been put through an emotional ringer. Unconsciousness sounded enticing.

  They got ready for bed, taking quick showers and brushing their teeth. Tatiana found herself thinking about his earlier statements as she slipped on her nightgown.

  She curled up in bed first. When Jordan climbed in behind her, she imagined totally falling for him, only to have him walk away without looking back. She’d end up alone without even kids to love.

  “It’s a deal breaker.”

  “Huh?” Jordan propped himself up so he could look over her shoulder.

  “I’ve dreamed about having babies since I was a baby myself.” She rolled onto her back, looking up at him. “I love you, but I can’t give up on my dreams. Not both of them.” She rested a hand on her stomach. She used to imagine putting her hand there one day only to have a tiny foot kick it. “I can understand not wanting to get married after you saw your parents’ marriage fail. I can deal with never getting married. But I can’t give up those dream babies.”

  He sighed. “I didn’t think you could.” He sat up. “I should go.”

  She looked over at his back. He pulled on his pants, then his shirt, without looking over his shoulder at her.

  “I’ll call you tomorrow?”

  He stuck his feet in his shoes. “Sounds good. I’ll take my suitcase tonight, but I’ve probably left a couple things lying around. I can swing by and grab them in a couple days.”

  “Oh. Okay.” He wasn’t fighting this at all. He wasn’t fighting for her. “Lock the door when you leave.” She rolled onto her side and stared at the wall.

  He rustled around for another minute or two, gathering up his jacket and socks. Then he walked out of the bedroom. He paused at the door. “Night.”

  “Goodnight,” she murmured. As he walked out of the room, she turned up her hearing.

  His footsteps echoed down the hall, slow and heavy. She heard a jingle as he grabbed the spare door key off its hook. The front door opened, then closed. With a harsh clunk, the deadbolt turned. A few moments later, metal clattered against tile. He had shoved the keys through the crack beneath her door.

  She couldn’t hear him walk away, but she knew he was gone.

  Her chest ached. She couldn’t catch her breath. She gasped, trying to breathe. She took a deep breath, then another, and another, until she dissolved into a sobbing mess.

  She had a great job as a private investigator. She had her mom and her brother for support. She had a fabulous best friend, a great apartment, and even a nice car. The only thing she wanted now was love, and every time she thought she found it, her hopes were shattered.

  Their relationship had been so short, it was silly to cry over it, but she couldn’t stop the tears. She had thought Jordan was the one. Until tonight, she had halfway expected to marry him one day, or at least date him for a very long time.

  But he wasn’t the man for her, not if being with him meant betraying her dreams.