Watched from a Distance

by Allison B Hanson

  Thorne plucked a piece of the dock away and tossed it into the water, hitting one of the rings Dane had created on the surface.

  Dane’s own marriage had been strained to the point of breaking, as well. He’d felt bad walking away. Who knew? They might have had a chance if he’d been able to stay. Maybe they could have gone to counseling and found a way back to each other again.

  But he had been changed by what he’d had to face at work. The decisions he’d been forced to make. Then the ordeal with the FBI, and facing the choice to “die” and go into Witness Protection. He hadn’t a clue how to get back to his old self, so how could he expect her to love whoever he became after going through all that?

  Walking away from Caroline hadn’t been easy, but it didn’t break him. However, it had been torture to leave his son that morning.

  He still remembered promising Tobey they would watch his favorite animated movie when he got home from work that evening. All the while knowing he wouldn’t ever be back. He’d had to fight the urge to hug his boy goodbye with more emotion than his normal morning routine.

  It had been the last time he’d touched his son. The memory was still something he couldn’t summon without his throat getting tight.

  The morning he left, he hadn’t wanted to alert his wife or make her suspicious, so he’d done no more than a casual peck on the lips and, “Have a great day.”

  She’d responded with the same words and a frown, knowing his days at work hadn’t been great for some time. He wanted her to say something more. To tell him he shouldn’t go. That they could move far away, or that she trusted him to do what was best for their family and would stand by him.

  Instead, the frown was replaced by a brittle smile. The one she presented to the world to prove that everything in her life was perfect. Even when it was falling to pieces around her.

  He’d sat in the driveway for a few minutes, looking up at the fancy home he’d purchased with dirty money. At the time he hadn’t known, but that wasn’t always an excuse. He should have looked deeper. He should have suspected something wasn’t right.

  They’d showered him with gifts, promotions, and bonuses. He hadn’t realized his soul was being purchased by two men who had no souls of their own. By the time he’d figured it out, he was deeply embroiled in their crimes.

  It shamed him to know he hadn’t acted right away when he found out what he’d gotten himself into. It had been such a shock, he’d been certain he had it wrong. Three months later he contacted the FBI and learned they were already well into an investigation.

  But Thorne hadn’t been faced with anything like that. He hadn’t been forced into his actions.

  “I do regret leaving the way I did,” Thorne said. “And I definitely didn’t realize what I had missed until I got Samantha back.”

  That made more sense. Dane knew from experience how unpredictable love for a child could be. He’d thought he was ready when they had Tobey, but those emotions were way more powerful than he’d ever expected. He hadn’t understood how he could love that loud, stinky, bundle of wrinkles so damn much.

  Thorne had left before Sam was born, so he hadn’t felt that overwhelming love before making his decision. He wouldn’t have known. Things may have ended differently if he had.

  “Your situation is much different than mine,” Thorne said. “You did what you had to do to keep your family safe. I looked over your file before I approached you. Your wife wasn’t willing to move, even after you explained the danger.” He leaned back, resting his palms on the wood behind him. “I’m sure you think it was because she didn’t love you enough, or that she was stubborn, but I doubt it was like that.”

  Dane thought it was.

  “Regular people don’t respond to the possibility of danger the way you think they should,” Thorne said. “They disregard the warnings and deny the inevitability of real danger.”

  Dane nodded. “Yeah. I’ve seen the movies where the scientists say everyone should evacuate but no one listens.”

  They shook their heads together. “It’s almost always like that, I’m afraid. It makes our job much more difficult. We’re like those scientists.”

  “But with guns.”

  Thorne chuckled. “Yeah.” After a long silence, he took a breath and moved on to another topic. “Tobey knows you’re not dead,” he said with a sigh.

  Dane grimaced. “It couldn’t be helped.”

  “I know. But it means we’ll have to have a chat with him about his safety, and hope he listens better than the people on the news.”

  “He’s a smart kid. I think I can get through to him. If I have the chance.”

  “You’ll have the chance.” Thorne smacked Dane on the leg then got to his feet. Fortunately, it was Dane’s good leg.

  “Since he knows…” Dane swallowed, afraid to ask and have his hope destroyed.

  Thorne smiled. “It means he won’t be so shocked when you show up again, later in his life.”

  Dane closed his eyes and pressed his lips together as emotions flooded through him. Those were the words he’d hoped for. Permission to reach out to Tobey someday, when he was old enough to be discreet.

  Dane hadn’t kept his promise to watch the movie that evening, but hopefully, one day, he could make up for it.

  Chapter Fifty

  Lena dressed for bed and climbed between the cool sheets with a shiver. There was no heat in the cabin and it was chilly, despite having the windows closed. Even with the extra blanket from the closet she couldn’t seem to get warm.

  The chill was coming from deep inside her.

  She’d actually pulled a gun on someone. She could have killed an innocent man. The father of an adorable little baby. Someone’s husband.

  Her fingers flexed as she remembered feeling the gun in her hand.

  Another shiver racked her body as she heard steps on the tiny front porch of the cabin. Her heart began to race. The door was locked, but it was flimsy, and half the door was glass. It wouldn’t keep anyone out if they wanted to get in.

  There was a knock, and her heart slowed as she turned on the small lamp next to the bed and crept out from under the covers to answer the door.

  It was Dane.

  He let out a sigh and shook his head. “I was going to come up with some reason why I needed to talk to you so you’d let me in, but I don’t want any more lies. I’m not in a good place right now. I don’t want to be alone. I might do something ridiculous like break down and cry.”

  She smiled in understanding, and opened the door wider. “Well, we can’t have the tough deputy marshal crying, now can we?” she said gently as he walked into the cabin.

  “I wasn’t cut out for this tough-guy thing. I was a financial officer in my past life. Finance officers can cry if they need to. There aren’t a lot of expectations.”

  She laced her hands uncertainly, not quite sure why he’d come. He hadn’t exactly been warm and fuzzy when they parted. “I guess not. How did you get this job?”

  “You mean agree to fake my own death?” he asked wryly.

  She nibbled on her lip. “That couldn’t have been an easy decision.”

  “I did it for the sake of my family. I’d promised to testify against my bosses in exchange for witness protection, but I was dealing with a lot of guilt about how I’d handled things. I hadn’t come forth right away, and found out later that two people had died as a result of my inaction.”

  “My God. I’m so sorry.”

  He swallowed and ran his hand through his hair. “One day Thorne showed up and asked if I wanted the chance to redeem myself. It was as if he’d read my mind.”

  “Wouldn’t be surprised. He’s a little scary.”

  Dane laughed. “True. I thought it would give me something meaningful to do while I waited for the case to go to trial. I owed two lives. So, I joined Task Force Phoenix. I figured if I saved two people, I’d have paid my debt.”

  “Did you?”

  He nodded. “But then I didn’t
just want to be even. I wanted to have Karma credit.” He winked at her. “Eventually I stopped counting. It just became me. It’s what I do now.”

  She went to him and wrapped her arms around him. He enveloped her in his warmth.

  “Now, I’m hoping Karma kept count,” he whispered. “Because I need a big favor.”

  She wanted to tell him everything was going to work out and be okay, but he’d said he didn’t want any more lies between them. She hoped it wasn’t a lie, but she just wasn’t sure.

  Tomorrow they would be preparing for the raid on two of Viktor’s holdings to rescue their children. Tonight, they were simply a man and a woman who didn’t want to be alone with their thoughts.

  She leaned back enough to look up into his face. As she attempted to remember how to make a move on a man, his lips came down on hers.

  Chapter Fifty-One

  Dane needed Lena. There was no way around that fact. Whatever happened with this mission was out of his hands at the moment. Right now, the only thing he could focus on was that they were two terrified people who needed each other.

  This morning, he might have said they just needed the distraction. A moment of pleasure with another warm body, to give them a break from the constant fear and anxiety. But now he realized it wasn’t just a distraction that had made him knock on her door.

  He wanted Lena. No one else would do.

  She was the only one who understood what he was feeling. She was the only one who was going through the same thing he was. He’d told her they were in this together. That meant this part, too.

  She moaned as he moved his lips down her neck to her collarbone. He slid one hand into her hair and the other under the back waistband of her shorts. He didn’t want to go at her like a ravenous beast, but his need was too urgent for him to control. He decided to give in to it, and silently promised to make it up in round two.

  He picked her up and stumbled when his leg reminded him it wasn’t capable of such things. He cursed and set her back down. This injury frustrated him more each day.

  “It’s okay. I don’t mind walking to the bed. It’s just a few feet away.” She gave him a naughty smile.

  She turned to go, but he stopped her and pulled down her shorts, then slipped off her shirt and nodded. If he was going to watch her walk away from him, he wanted to enjoy it.

  “I’ll give you a head start,” he said.

  He stripped his shirt off and stalked toward her. She’d gotten into bed and her naked body was stretched out before him, ready.

  He set his Beretta on the nightstand, unbuckled his belt, then sat at the end of the bed to unlace his boots. Her bare foot slid up his spine and back down.

  Turning to seize her ankle, he kissed her just below the knee and pulled her closer so he could nibble up her thigh. One more tug had her at the edge of the bed. He kneeled down so he was in the perfect position to taste her.

  Her legs draped over his shoulders as he licked her, causing her to moan and buck against him. He smiled and did it again, and again, until she was panting and pulling his hair.

  His name came out as breathy pleading, and he locked it away in his memories to recall later.

  “Please, Dane,” she begged.

  He was torn between moving up her body and giving them the quick release they both wanted, or finishing her off first. Unsure if he could get up, he decided to go for the second option.

  Inserting two fingers, he picked up the pace with his tongue, making her gasp. Relentlessly, he worked her until she cried out and clenched his fingers in fitful pulses. He didn’t stop, only slowed until the tremors softened and her legs fell away.

  With her sated for the moment, he had time to get himself off the floor and remove his pants without her noticing his struggle. He might not be able to literally sweep a woman off their feet any longer, but as he looked down on Lena with that contented smile across her face, he knew he was still a man who could satisfy a woman.

  His injury hadn’t taken that from him, at least.

  Chapter Fifty-Two

  Lena hadn’t bothered to move. She was probably splayed out in some awkward pose, but she couldn’t care at the moment. She felt too good. He’d come to her for comfort, and she would do her best to make him feel good.

  She felt the shift of the mattress as Dane stood, then the heavenly sound of steel teeth unlocking as his zipper was pulled down. Opening her eyes, she watched as he slid his jeans down his legs and moved for his boxers.

  Despite the scars on his leg, she found him incredibly sexy. She also knew those weren’t the only scars he carried. There were many more on his heart, and she wished she could soothe those.

  She moved first. Rolling onto her stomach, she used the elastic waist to pull him closer, and slid the soft cotton down his narrow hips. His erection sprang out when released, and she nuzzled it momentarily before guiding in into her mouth.

  With a curse, he lurched backward, but not far enough to disengage. Braced on one elbow she looked up at him and pulled him closer again. She loved the power she held at the moment. For months she’d been powerless, but Dane had given her some control over her life. And his pleasure.

  His hand went to her hair as he made a noise of pleasure, but he didn’t dictate her rhythm. He allowed her to set the pace. This simple freedom didn’t go unnoticed. Even earlier when she’d made a colossal mistake by pulling that gun, he’d allowed her the space to figure it out and do the right thing.

  Once she was sure he wouldn’t pull away, she used her hand to roam over his other parts. Cupping and teasing him until he groaned.

  She continued exploring him with her hand and mouth…until suddenly he shook his head and pulled away.

  “No more,” he said, his voice rough, and reached for a condom. Their gazes locked and she saw so much more than just a battered body and flexing muscle. She saw Dane. The man who—despite dealing with his own tragedy—was helping her with hers.

  She trusted him completely.

  Seconds later, in a flurry of motion she found herself on her back. He pushed inside her with one long stroke.

  He lifted her leg to his shoulder so he could get deeper inside her, and she tilted her hips to meet his hurried movements until he tensed and collapsed on top of her. His pulses shattered her, and she joined him in release.

  His hot breath touched her hair as a drop of sweat meandered down her chest.

  Her earlier chill had been replaced by his warmth. That warmth spread deep into her soul.

  Chapter Fifty-Three

  Dane woke from a restful sleep with Lena warm and naked in his arms.

  Last night he’d been a mess of tangled thoughts and worries, but now he was relaxed and ready to face whatever the day would bring. She’d given him more than just a physical release.

  Having her next to him gave him a peace he hadn’t felt in so long.

  It was still early and he wasn’t ready to move. His cock stirred, and he revised his initial plan to get up. He was ready to move, just not to get out of bed.

  He reached for another condom, then positioned himself behind her and slid into her welcome warmth. Lying on his side, he was able to rock into her slowly without too much strain on his leg.

  She made a happy sound, but didn’t open her eyes as she pressed back against him. He kissed her shoulder and moved down to her neck, unable to get to her mouth from this angle.

  He wrapped his arm around her, pulling her closer, then moved down her stomach and between her legs, until he found the spot that woke her fully and had her moaning in response.

  Her breath picked up, and a few minutes later she gasped and bucked as her orgasm throbbed around him. He moved his hand to her breasts and held her as he built up the momentum to his own completion.

  “Good morning,” she whispered a few moments later.

  He smiled against her warm skin. “Definitely.”

  With his hand on her chest, he felt her heart slow to a normal rhythm. She took a deep breath a
nd readied herself to say something that he just knew would bring them slamming back to reality.

  “No. Not yet. Give us another minute,” he begged.

  She patted his arm and slipped away. “You stay here wrapped in denial for a little while longer, while I go take a shower.”

  “Okay,” he answered.

  But it was too late. Reality was already encroaching on his delusions. They had things to do.

  Important things.

  This thing between them was just a way to cope until it was time to set the operation in motion. As soon as they got their kids back, their lives would continue on in different directions. And this…interlude…would simply be a memory of two people helping each other through the worst moment of their lives.

  Chapter Fifty-Four

  When Lena walked into the lodge together with Dane, everyone instantly fell quiet and looked up. She got the distinct feeling the others had been talking about her.

  God. Had she and Dane been too loud last night? Were they all judging her?

  Despite the way the morning had started, it didn’t take long for the guilt to seep back in. This wasn’t the right time to start anything with a man. Especially a man who had his own demons to slay.

  She and Dane were both in a horrible place, but that just made them need each other all the more. If nothing else, their pleasure had allowed her to get some sleep, so she felt alert this morning. She was able to think things through with more clarity, now that her mind had been stripped bare and allowed a moment to relax.

  There were guns sitting on the dining table where everyone had gathered for breakfast, and she couldn’t help but notice Garrett moved his gun closer to his empty plate as she walked over to the table.

  They still didn’t trust her. Probably for good reason. Her face heated as she remembered her actions from the evening before. Embarrassment made her throat tight.

  She took a deep breath and said, “I want to apologize again for what I did yesterday.”

  Colton wasn’t at the table, but he must have heard her through the opening that led to the kitchen where he was making breakfast with Samantha.