Watched from a Distance

by Allison B Hanson

“I knew I couldn’t give up,” she said quietly. “I knew I needed to stay close and do what Viktor wanted until he let down his guard and I was given an opportunity to act. That opportunity is now.”

  Dane nodded. “Thank God.”

  “I need to be ready, which means I need to learn how to shoot.” She swallowed down her nerves at the thought. “Will you teach me? Because Justin scares me a little bit.”

  Dane smiled. “Of course.” He took her face in his hands and pulled her in for a thorough kiss. Then he leaned back to look at her. “You’re the strongest person I’ve ever known. We’re going to get Kenzie back.”

  “I know we will,” she said.

  Because there was no other option.

  Chapter Fifty-Nine

  Dane agreed that Lena needed to learn to shoot. And she wasn’t the only one who didn’t want Justin to teach her. Though their reasons were a bit different…

  Justin was a big flirt. And while Dane understood that whatever was going on between him and Lena wasn’t a long-term, official thing, he felt a possessiveness he couldn’t ignore.

  After cleaning up from lunch, the team split up to take care of things. Thorne was on the phone. Angel had taken over the large table and four laptops. Colton and Garrett were making an ammunitions list.

  “Here,” Dane said, reaching out to hand the Beretta to Lena. She pulled back with wide eyes. “Take it,” he urged.

  “Can’t you carry it to wherever we’re going?”

  “No. Put it in the back of your jeans.”

  “Shouldn’t I have a holster or something? It might fall out of my pants.”

  “Tuck it down in your waistband, and it will stay there. Besides, it’s sexier to pull it out of your jeans. Haven’t you ever seen an action movie?” He winked at her to let her know he was joking. It might look sexier than a holster, but that position was definitely not as secure. Especially if you had to sit down.

  “How do you guys walk around like this? It’s cold and bulky.” She shifted and bent over.

  He reached over to push it a little deeper into her jeans.

  Samantha laughed. “This way, when the shit hits the fan, it’s easy to get to.”

  “Even if the shit hitting the fan is an innocent guy just doing what he was told,” Dane said with a smile at Sam. He should have let that one pass, but she was just too easy to tease.

  As expected, a guilty look crossed Sam’s face. “I’m so sorry, Dane.”

  “Knock that shit off,” Garrett called from the living room. “She told you not to move. You moved. It was your own fault you got shot.”

  “And Thorne told me to take her gun,” Dane said good-naturedly. “It was a lose-lose situation, all around.”

  “I’m sorry,” she whispered again so Garrett couldn’t hear.

  Dane patted her on the back. “It’s okay, sweetie. If I’d really been a bad guy, it would have been the right thing to do.” He turned to Lena. “You ready?”

  She frowned and adjusted the gun again. “I guess so.” She walked out of the lodge with more of a limp than he had.

  The campground had an actual shooting range, though it was probably used for BB gun practice rather than a 9mm. Still, it would do nicely.

  He set up three targets on the rail and came back to stand in front of her. She was still frowning like a wet cat.

  He kissed the crease on her forehead and smiled down at her. “You’re going to have to take it out of your waistband now.”

  “I was just starting to get used to it being there,” she grumbled.

  “You’ll have plenty of time to get used to it.”

  “Do you want me to pull it out slowly while you watch?” Her naughty smile made him twitch.

  Maybe they could practice that part later.

  Except, they didn’t have later. They would be leaving in the morning to head off on their mission. And she needed to be ready. Well, as ready as possible in one day.

  “Okay,” he said. “When you pulled the gun on Colton, you were holding it all wrong.”

  She winced, and her cheeks colored. She was still embarrassed about that incident. He decided to address it in the hope she would be able to touch the gun without wincing.

  “It’s okay. No one is mad at you,” he told her.

  Her lips thinned. “I’m mad at me. I’m mad at me for this whole damn situation. If I had just made sure my ex couldn’t get to Kenzie. And if I had done something more when they brought in you and Tobey…”

  No one won the blame game. He should know. He’d played it many times over the past five years.

  If he hadn’t gone to work for Tim Reynolds. If he hadn’t been so ambitious and naïve. If he had only forced Caroline to come with him so they could stay together.

  “We don’t know what happens after that first if,” he said.

  “Meaning?”

  “We think if only we’d done one thing differently, then everything else would work out. But we’re just looking at that next step—the one we think made everything go to hell. But what if we were destined to fail, anyway? What if you had made sure your ex couldn’t take Kenzie from the daycare? Maybe instead, he’d have broken into your home and taken her. Maybe you would have fought him and lost.”

  She made a face. “I don’t think I would have lost. Not when a scrawny-ass drug addict was taking my baby.”

  He’d give her that. “My point is, we don’t know what would have happened next. If I hadn’t taken the job with the embezzlers from hell, I might have ended up working for Viktor Kulakov. Who knows? We can’t spend all our time looking back and wishing we’d done something different. It’s useless.”

  “You’re probably right.” She let out a sigh and nodded to the Beretta. “I still wish I hadn’t pulled the gun on Colton. If for no other reason than I made an ass of myself.”

  Dane chuckled, then showed her how to support the gun, and how to aim. When he thought she had a good stance, he told her to pull the trigger.

  It didn’t even come close to the target. It was way high. The next one hit the dirt about five feet in front of the target. The next one hit the target, but it was the target two rows down rather than the one she was using.

  The problem was clear to see.

  “It’s impossible to hit the target when you have your eyes squeezed shut,” he told her.

  “I don’t,” she protested.

  “You do when you pull the trigger. You need to keep your eyes on the target.”

  She grimaced. “I thought I was.”

  “You’re not.” He swallowed down the beginnings of panic. If she couldn’t shoot, she would be detrimental to the mission. She would just be in the way. She didn’t need to be a sharpshooter, but she should not be a danger to herself or Kenzie.

  Which meant…he would have to convince her to stay behind.

  Chapter Sixty

  “You can’t shoot the broadside of a barn,” Dane said as he held up Lena’s untouched target and frowned.

  Damn. She’d really thought she’d kept her eyes open that last time. But apparently not.

  “I’m sorry,” she said. “I’ve never needed to shoot a gun before.”

  He wadded up the target and tossed it into the trash can. “Nope. This isn’t going to work. We’ll find something else for you to do.”

  She looked at him questioningly. “As in…?”

  He pressed his lips together.

  Suspicion dawned. Wait. He didn’t want her there when they went into Viktor’s fortress to retrieve her child? Even though he knew how much it sucked to be told he couldn’t be there for Tobey’s rescue?

  Oh, hell no.

  “I’m going,” she said firmly. “You need every available person to help, and I’m not staying behind just because I’m not up to your standards.”

  Okay, it was clear by the lack of holes on the target she probably wasn’t up to anyone’s standards, but still. She squared her shoulders and prepared to fight him on this.

  Up until
now, she’d gone along with every snotty order and rude comment he’d made, but this was going too far.

  “I’m going,” she repeated, making her voice even flatter.

  He seemed to rethink and redirect. “Then you’ll have to do better than this, or you’ll just get yourself and possibly someone else killed. You flinched every time you pulled the trigger.”

  “I don’t know how not to flinch.” She was getting defensive and her voice had risen to the same volume of his. She didn’t like the idea of putting anyone at risk because she wasn’t ready for this mission, but she needed to be there. “I used to do people’s hair! I’m sorry I’m not used to all this tactical crap.”

  She might have tossed the gun at him, but she knew it was loaded, and that was a gun safety no-no.

  Samantha and Angel walked up to the makeshift shooting range.

  “Guys! Take a break,” Samantha ordered. “Dane, I think Garrett needs you in the kitchen.”

  Without a look back, Dane stormed off in the direction of the house. Lena was glad to see him go. He was making things worse. How was she supposed to shoot when he was hovering over her shoulder and criticizing her every move?

  “I’m sorry. I’m not good at this kind of thing,” she confessed to the other women. Though it was pretty obvious.

  Sam smiled. “The men are not great at teaching us these kinds of things.”

  Angel snorted. “I’ve been teaching Colton how to write code. If I can do that, I can surely teach you how to hit a target.” Angel crossed her arms. “Shall we begin?”

  Lena nodded with more enthusiasm than she felt.

  “Pick it up like you own it instead of the other way around.”

  “Okay.” She didn’t know what that meant, but she reached for the gun and picked it up.

  “Nope!” Angel yelled, nearly making Lena drop it.

  “What did I do?” All she’d done was pick it up. And she’d done it correctly. She’d watched enough movies to know that.

  “You flinched when you touched it.” Sam frowned. “Here. Let’s try this.”

  Sam took the gun from her, and in a few swift motions she had it broken into a pile of parts. She held up each piece and identified it. Then she handed them over to Lena like a pile of Legos. Soon her hands were full of innocuous pieces of the gun. Then one by one, she put each piece back together to form the original firearm.

  “A gun is just a bunch of metal parts.” Sam shrugged.

  Lena nodded in understanding. It did feel less intimidating that way.

  “Fine,” Angel said. “Pick up the metal parts and aim it toward the target. You’re going to line up the sight on the bullseye. Then let out a breath at the same time you squeeze the trigger. Don’t yank or pull the trigger. Squeeze it in a smooth, firm motion.”

  Bam!

  Lena felt herself flinch, though she was pretty sure it had happened after the gun went off instead of when she squeezed the trigger.

  “Hot damn!” Sam shouted. “You hit it.”

  “I did?” Lena squinted into the sun and saw a black spot on the paper.

  “Barely,” Angel said with a sigh. “Try it again, and if you flinch I’m going to give you something to flinch about.”

  Angel was not very big, maybe five feet tall. She had some killer curves, but was no bodybuilder. Despite the other woman’s size, Lena was certain she could back up her threat with no problem.

  Lena swallowed and raised the gun again, hoping she wouldn’t flinch.

  Breathe. Squeeze.

  Flinch.

  Damn it.

  Chapter Sixty-One

  An hour after Dane had left Lena, he could still hear the occasional gunshot as Angel and Sam worked with her, teaching her to protect herself. He shouldn’t have been such an ass. He shouldn’t have walked out on her. But he couldn’t make himself go back, either.

  Seeing her flinch every time she took a shot made him too aware of what they were facing.

  Taking her on this mission was like leading a lamb to the slaughter.

  “Believe it or not, she’s doing better than my ex-wife.” Justin came in through the side door and set down a pair of binoculars. “Jenny wouldn’t touch a gun. She wouldn’t even try. Even when our handler recommended it.”

  This was a first. Justin didn’t talk much about his past. The rest of the team knew that and didn’t push for information. All Dane knew was that his extraction had been messy. He’d taken his family with him, and it hadn’t worked out. He and his wife had split up. He’d joined Phoenix and she and their daughter had made the most of their new lives.

  “You had a handler?”

  “Yeah. Dumb as shit. Nearly got my family killed when we were moving. He talked to someone on an open line. Haley was only a little older than Lena’s daughter. Even so, Jen wouldn’t learn to shoot to protect them if I was taken out. That put a lot more pressure on me. I was their only defense.”

  “Knowing Lena’s heading into danger is too much. She’s not ready.”

  “Still, she’s made a decision to do something outside her comfort zone to protect her child. She’ll figure this out, and she’ll do what needs to be done. I can tell that about her. You won’t have to worry about her when the shit hits the fan.”

  “Maybe.”

  Justin smiled in his smartass way. “Though, I can tell you are still going to worry.”

  “Yes. I will.” There was no shame in that.

  “At some point, you have to let go. When Jen left with Haley, it nearly killed me not to be able to watch over my kid and have her close. But eventually I realized I’d made a mistake to bring them with me into WITSEC. I should have done what you did and let them live their life out in the real world without me fucking it up for them.”

  “And let your kid think you’re dead?”

  “I rarely get to see my daughter. To her, it’s like I’m dead, anyway. At least she would have had a normal life.”

  “Do you really think I did the right thing?” Dane asked, looking for absolution from someone who had lived a life Dane assumed had been better.

  “I think you did the only thing you could do, being married to your wife. She wasn’t cut out for this life. Maybe if you’d had someone…stronger.” Justin nodded out the door he’d come in. “You would have had another option with a different woman. But with Caroline…no. The only safe choice was what you did.”

  Deep down, Dane knew that. He’d known it from the day he walked out. But hearing it from someone who’d played it differently made him feel better…if only slightly.

  “Thanks.”

  Justin slapped him on the shoulder and went to the kitchen. Dane glanced up when Lena walked into the room with the other women. Everyone else was there, too.

  Lena held up her target and shrugged away her success when Justin clapped. There were five shots in the bullseye, and a few others weren’t far off. All in all, it was impressive. Especially for someone who’d had no formal training, and had flinched badly every time for him.

  He knew this wasn’t easy for her, but he was crazy worried that everything go according to plan. There was no room for error.

  Error meant someone died.

  She didn’t understand why he’d acted like a dick. He was pretty sure she wouldn’t jump to the conclusion that he’d been rude because he cared so much. Guys normally got over that stupid move by third grade. What would he do next? Pull her hair?

  But he’d snapped at her, and he needed to apologize. He needed to make it right. Instead of helping her, he’d just given up and tried to find a way to complete the mission without her.

  He should have been encouraging her to do her best. Instead, he’d been standing in her way.

  He didn’t want to think of the reasons why.

  “I get it,” Garrett said, coming up to stand behind him.

  “Get what?”

  “You don’t want her to have to shoot a gun. But you don’t want her to get hurt. The best thing would be if she wasn�
�t there, at all. You’re sabotaging her efforts.”

  Was that what was going on? Dane knew he hadn’t exactly helped, but actual sabotage was a different level of assiness. Is that why he had decided to cut her out of the mission so quickly? Was he that much of an asshole?

  Maybe.

  “Unfortunately, she might be put in a position where you can’t help her,” Garrett continued, “and if that happens, you’ll want the person you love to be able to defend herself.”

  “Whoa. No. I don’t love her.” Dane shook his head to make that very clear. He didn’t want to love anyone. Except Tobey. And, okay, pretty much everyone else in this room he loved on some level.

  But not Lena. He couldn’t love her.

  “Oh.” Garrett blinked and looked over at where the girls were instructing Lena. “If that’s not what this is, then why are you acting like a dick?”

  “I’m not,” Dane lied. Garrett’s raised brow had him adding to his declaration. “Fine. I’m not sure,” he amended, and hung his head.

  “Is that because you’re being forced to help her get her kid, and you can’t go after your own?” Colton asked. “If so, I would understand. That was a tough call, but I think Thorne’s right. You’ll keep on task better going with Lena. You’d be a loose cannon on Tobey’s job.”

  “I know that.” Though Dane still hated it. And he didn’t mind helping Lena get her daughter back. He would do whatever he could to get Kenzie away from Viktor. But… “I just don’t think it’s a good plan. I don’t want her there, at all.”

  Colton and Garrett exchanged knowing looks.

  “What?” Dane demanded, though he knew what they were going to say before they even opened their mouths.

  “You are in love.”

  Chapter Sixty-Two

  After all his rules about not wincing, Lena wanted to point out that Dane was doing an awful lot of it as he guided her out of the lodge so he could talk to her.

  She wanted to be angry with him and his horrible training skills, but she understood. She wasn’t a trained law enforcement officer, and yet he was going to be stuck with her on a mission. He probably thought she was not an asset…and he was right. She didn’t have any skills to speak of.