“How old are you, sweetheart?” he asked, taking the palm of her hand, and pressing it against his lips.
“Sixteen.”
“You seem older,” he murmured.
“Rand always accused me of being a silly child,” she told him.
“You don’t seem silly at all. Someone who would risk their life to help someone more misfortunate than them, can’t possibly be silly. Actually you are rather brave. Maybe too brave for your own good, but I like that about you.”
Gus sat up. “Think I’ll teach that boy of your’s to fish, today. If you are real good, I will bring you out, and let you watch, but no walking around though, you hear?”
He swung his legs over the edge of the bed.
“And sweetheart, any time you want to feel my whiskers, you don’t have to ask,” he laughed, and then got up and pulled his buckskins on.
Gus went out of the houseboat, and then a few minutes later, he came back and picked Leatrisha up, and carried her out to the houseboat.
“When are you going to trust me to walk?” she asked, as he put her down.
“Oh, I am sure you can walk right now. But as long as you keep letting me carry you, I’m not going to stop,” he smiled.
When she emerged from the outhouse, he gave her a broad smile as he picked her up again.
“You hardly weigh a thing,” he told her. “Doesn’t seem like I am carrying you at all.”
When they came into the houseboat, he handed her her clothes that had dried. “If we are going to go out and fish, you had better put your clothes back on. Boats pass by here all the time. You’d look a little strange sitting in my long johns fishing,” he chuckled.
“I’ve never fished before,” she admitted
“Then you are in for some fun,” he promised.
As Leatrisha sat on the edge of the houseboat, dangling her feet over the side, she watched the cork on her fishing line bobbing in the water.
“Now you hold tight to that pole, because when the fish bites, you don’t want it jerking the pole out of your hands,” Gus told her.
Theodoree sat on the other side of her with his own pole, sporting a large grin over his face, showing off his white teeth. The cork on Leatrisha’s pole suddenly started moving across the water, as her pole started to bend.
“I think I got one!” she cried, and Gus was at her side, putting his arm around her waist, as he helped her hold her pole,
“Just let it work a bit and get tired out, and then you can pull it in,” Gus told her as she started to giggle in glee, when the fish jumped out of the water, and came down with a splash. “Seems like that fish wants to get away mighty bad,” Gus laughed.
The next moment Theodoree was yelling that he had a fish as well, and Gus went to help him. By lunch time, they had caught five large fish, and Leatrisha was beside herself with excitement.
“Well, little lady, you did good,” Gus said.
He couldn’t drag Theodore away though, so he picked up the fish they had caught, and started to clean them, throwing the innards and head back in the water.
“The birds will come eat what’s floating on top, and what sinks other fish will eat,” he told Leatrisha.
Once the fish were cleaned he took them inside, and then came out to help Leatrisha up, and back into the houseboat.
“Better get back in bed and rest,” he told her. “You have had enough excitement for the day.”
“Thank you so much for showing me how to fish,” Leatrisha smiled as she started taking off her clothes, in order to put the long johns back on.
Gus glanced over at her. Her back was to him, but he liked the shape of her bottom, and the graceful way she moved. Regardless of her boy’s attire, she was all woman, he thought. When the long johns were back on, Leatrisha started unbraiding her hair, and running her fingers through it. “It feels too tight, being braided all the time,” she mentioned, when Gus gazed at her long ruffled black hair billowing around her shoulders.
“Looks better that way, anyway,” he told her, as he watched her climb under the covers.
Then he distracted himself by pulling a skillet out to fry the fish in. Having a woman around didn’t seem like a bother at all, he thought. In fact he kind of liked it. He just hadn’t run across a woman like this one, he realized. But the woman was married. She would remain that way for a year, if not longer.
He couldn’t believe that Rand wanted to divorce the angel in men’s clothing. Don’t let your heart get tangled up with that one, he told himself. She’s got trouble written all over her. He thought about how she had told him she had played Nat cards for kisses. Nat must have been a lucky guy at the time, he smiled to himself.
CHAPTER TWENTY TWO
“Nat!” Leatrisha cried, as she saw him step off the cargo barge onto the small landing.
“I came to check on you, and make sure you were doing all right,” he smiled.
“Gus has been taking good care of me. He taught me how to fish,” she exclaimed.
“You look healthy.” He glanced down at her stomach. “Thought you would be showing more by now though,” he mumbled.
“I lost the baby, Nat.”
“Oh, Lettie, I’m so sorry.”
He put his arms around her.
“It is probably for the best. You were right. If I had the baby, I couldn’t help with the Freedom Train. I would have probably ended up having to go back to England for the sake of the baby. Have you helped any more escape?”
“Yes. It’s getting harder though. I have to skirt the woods. Rand put up barriors across the path through his property, which means we have to go all the way down to the river on the outskirts of the woods. It’s harder and longer.”
“Have you seen Rand?” she was almost afraid to ask.
“Yes. He asked me if I knew where you were. I said if he needed to get a message to you, I could probably deliver it, but you weren’t around Huntsville any longer.”
“Don’t tell him I lost the baby,” she cautioned. “He’ll think it’s his fault, for making me leave.”
“He’ll find out eventually if he ever sees you again,” Nat stated.
“Why would he ever see me again?”
“I think he loves you, Lettie. I could see the pain in his eyes when he asked about you.”
“It doesn’t matter. Even if he did love me, I wouldn’t stop helping the slaves, and he knows it.”
“Maybe he thinks after you had the baby, you’d realize the dangers it would cause for both of you, and you’d come back to him. He’s worried about you, in your condition. He told me so. He should know you aren’t carrying any longer. It will put his mind at ease.”
“Why should I put his mind at ease? He was going to send me back to England and divorce me. I shouldn’t be a concern to him any longer.” She looked at Nat bitterly. “All he wanted was my body, Nat, but when he discovered what a problem I was to have around, it wasn’t worth it to him. He should have kept Mazy! He’s right though. What I was doing would have caused him too much trouble, if I remained with him. Now if I am caught, he can’t be blamed for my actions.”
“He was not throwing you out, Lettie. He was going to send you to your family where it would be safe, to have your child. It was your idea to put both you and your child in danger, by running off. And now, it seems, you are still bound and determined to continue helping the Freedom Train, no matter how dangerous it is.” Nat accused.
“Come spring, you bet,” she told him. “I don’t have anything holding me back now. You still do it, no matter how dangerous it is,” she pointed out.
“But I am a man, Lettie. It is hard for women to do that sort of thing. You’ve done your part, why not be satisfied with the little bit of good you did do for the slaves.”
“I want to do more than just a little bit,” Leatrisha emphasized.
Nat shook his head as the two started walking down the landing, just as Gus came out of his houseboat, and waved to them.
“What happ
ened to Gus’ beard?” Nat asked.
“He cut his hair and shaved the day after I arrived,” Leatrisha laughed.
“He did it for you, didn’t he?” Nat grinned.
“Maybe, but he thinks women are a bother, so I wouldn’t worry about it. He’ll probably get tired of shaving for my sake, after awhile,” she giggled.
“How’s Theodore?”
“He loves it here. Spends all his time fishing and taking care of the horses. I am getting tired of eating fish, though, only Theodore likes fishing so much we can’t let his catch go to waste.”
“Well how is my old friend?” Gus asked as he came up to the two of them. “Lettie tells me you plan to come out this winter.”
“That’s what I came about,” Nat said. “The stations for the cargo are changing. We found some safe houses, that are going to be available soon, so we won’t have to go through the woods. There’s a house on the river, where we can bring a boat to deliver the cargo farther down the river, to the regular transport. We can keep working through the winter, if the river doesn’t freeze up too much.”
“I can help now that I’m not carrying the baby,” Leatrisha said hopefully.
“Not where you are now, Lettie, and you can’t come to Huntsville. Wait until next spring, and then we’ll talk about it. You can stay in the houseboat over the winter. Just sit tight with Gus here,” Nat insisted.
Leatrisha’s face fell, but Gus put his arm over her shoulder.
“Anyway, sweetheart, you owe me fleshing out, remember? You’ll be kept busy enough all winter,” he smiled, winking at Nat.
Nat could tell that Gus liked the girl, as much as he did. Only as long as she was married to Rand, he didn’t want to take the risk of getting any more involved with her than he was now. Rand loved her too, and would come to his senses soon enough, and whether Leatrisha liked it or not, he felt it was only right to tell Rand about her losing the baby.
“I’m going to have to leave, when the barg comes back by in a couple of hours,” Nat said. “Rand sent some money with me to give you, Lettie. He wants to make sure you do not become destitute. After all, he is still your husband and legally has to support you,”
He handed Leatrisha the pouch of money.
“I haven’t even used much of the money he gave me when I left. I just used a little buying a few supplies, is all.”
“You’ll have to stock up for winter, Lettie. You should get more,” Nat suggested.
“I’ll take her in to get more supplies,” Gus offered. “I can hook the cart up to my horse.”
“I’m glad you are here to watch out for her, Gus,” Nat said. “By spring I’ll let you know if we can use you, Lettie. I know you want to help, but I hear there is talk about war. Everyone is up in arms about the slave situation. The states may end up splitting apart over it. It will be even more dangerous if that happens.”
“You’re not going to let me help anymore, are you?” she said, looking Nat square in the eyes, realizing he had not been making eye contact with her every time he talked about her helping.
Nat straightened his shoulders, and took in his breath, finally looking back at her.
“After the killing of the bounty hunters, there has been more pressure to stop the Freedom Train, in our area, Lettie. The main people in charge, don’t think you are a good risk. It is too dangerous for them and you. It might be best if you put your energies someplace else.”
Leatrishia, glared at Nat.
“Where Nat?” she erupted. “Where am I supposed to put my energies? I ruined my marriage with Rand in order to keep helping the slaves. I put myself and Theodore in danger! I risked losing my baby! And now you tell me to put my energies else where?”
“It’s not me, Lettie. It’s the people in charge. They won’t risk letting you help. They don’t trust women helping with the Freedom Train. They claim they are too emotional and flighty! Killing those bounty hunters, and then leaving their bodies to be found made it all the harder for us, Lettie, even if Rand hadn’t fenced off the trail. It might be better if you just go back to Rand.”
“Rand doesn’t want me. He doesn’t even trust me. He has told me as much. I’m as good as any man, Nat! I have proven I have what it takes to help.” Leatrisha screamed, and then she bolted over to Black Magic, and swung up on his back. “I’ve given up everything for the cause, and no one cares!” she sobbed, as she kicked Black Magic into a gallop, up the path through the woods.
“You better go after her,” Nat said to Gus. “No telling what she will do in the mood she is in.”
It took awhile for Gus to catch up with Leatrisha. When he finally rode up beside her, she glared at him.
“Go away! I don’t need you. I don’t need anyone!” she cried, wiping the tears from her eyes with her sleeve.
“I know, sweetheart. But have you ever considered that there are people who need you?” he murmured.
By now the horses had slowed to a walk and they made their way down the path neck and neck.
“The slaves need me to help them escape. That’s who needs me,” she bellowed.
“What about Theodore? You know he could never get along without you. Nat says Rand loves you. Maybe you should go back. Theodore told me about how all the slaves at Rand’s plantation love you, and refused to work when you were grieving over the death of James, and wouldn’t get out of bed. He told me how they all stood under your window and sang to you. There are a lot of people that love you, and you don’t even know it.”
“Rand didn’t love me enough. He was willing to let me go. He is going to divorce me. Even if I went back to him, it wouldn’t change my mind about slaves. I can’t live where people are owned and used like animals to work for you.”
“You said Rand treated his slaves well,” Gus pointed out. “If you are there you can at least help his slaves, by giving the kind of comfort and love you have been showing them all along,” he insisted.
“He still owns them the same way he thinks he owns me. He doesn’t love me, he just wanted to own me, to force me to stop helping the slaves escape, and when he couldn’t do it, he was going to send me away where I couldn’t do it any longer.”
“I believe he only did that to protect you, Lettie. It must have been hard for him to give you up. I said myself that he must be plumb crazy to have let you go.
“It appears that you can’t help any more slaves escape any longer now anyway, even if you want to,” Gus pointed out. “Be happy with what you did, do, sweetheart. At least there were some slaves you were able to free. Life has to move forward. If you don’t want to go back to Rand, then remain here with me over the winter. By spring you may feel different about everything.”
“It’s not fair, Gus, I gave up everything, and what good did it do? Did you know I’m an heiress? I even gave that up to come to America. If my father ever finds out what I have been up to, he may disown me and never give me my inheritance.”
“You probably did more good than you will admit to, sweetheart. Come back with me now. Tomorrow is another day.”
Leatrisha, looked over to his concerned face. She thought of all he had done for her, how he had cared lovingly for her, after she lost the baby, and then continued to bolster her spirits, making her feel worth while, while never trying to direct her in anything.
He had allowed her to be herself, never insisting she act like a lady, or live by certain rules. But he seemed indifferent, in a way, not caring if she went back to Rand or remained there with him. Women were just a bother to him, she reminded herself. By spring she would have to make up her mind what she was going to do.
*********************
Everyday the weather got colder, but the snow hadn’t started falling yet, and the woods looked, cold, stark and naked, which mirrored Leatrisha’s own feelings. She didn’t mind living on the houseboat, and as soon as winter set in for good, she would be helping Gus set his traps. She actually looked forward to it, since there was not much to do until he had her start fl
eshing pelts for him. The work would keep her mind busy, she thought.
The one thing she realized she missed, was Rands hands and mouth caressing her at night. It was all she could think about when she laid in her bed all alone at night, listing to Theodore snoring lightly in the bunk above her. The three nights she had spent sleeping with Gus, was comforting and warm, but Gus had merely held her, and they were both fully dressed. She doubted if Gus even thought much about a woman, other than liking her around for company. He was always staying his distance from her.
Of course she was a married, woman, she reasoned. He would have a reason to keep his distance. But Leatrisha had to admit, that she had never felt married. She had been Rand’s indentured servant, pretending to love him, and when they got married, she had to go on with the act, while enjoying the pleasure of having a man in her bed. She even wondered if she ever loved James? Things were getting tangled in her mind when she thought about it.
The real reason she even insisted James take her virginity away, was because she had been mad at Rand. It had been a little bit of a letdown, she thought now, as she remembered her wedding night with Rand, who went to every extreme to bring her pleasure, while finally allowing her to find more pleasure in touching him as well. If he had been her first, it would have been quite different, she realized.
As she thought about it, the reason she was so upset at the moment was the fact that Rand did not even love her. Everything he had done was out of obligation to her, not only to save her from herself, but to save him from the damage she could cause him and his plantation. If she had been truthful with herself, the reason Rand made her so angry, in the first place, was because she had loved him from the beginning, and just couldn’t admit it to herself. She resented that he kept pushing her away, making her feel unworthy of him, when all she really wanted to do was love him, hoping he would want to marry her for real. Only when he finally did, it too was out of obligation, so she wouldn’t end up being an unwed mother.
What was love anyway, she asked herself. James had been her childhood playmate. He was comfortable to love, and he certainly loved her, so he deserved her love in return. Rand knew how to pleasure a woman, which drew her to him, but he treated her like a child, except when they were in bed. She was always having to answer to him for her misdeeds, until finally he had had enough of her shenanigans and was determined to send her packing. What did that say for love? Was his love for her, making him protect her, by sending her away, or was he just trying to get himself out of a mess he never should have got himself into from the beginning?
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