Tracks

by Karen Woods

  ‘Take your fucking hands off me. If you so much as come near me again, I’ll do something that I will regret.’

  He panicked. ‘Babe, this is not my fault, I’m in as much shock as you are. I was a kid myself. I certainly didn’t want a baby with some random slapper. She was a right slag, everyone was banging her, honest, she was anybody’s. I know it hasn’t happened but I’ve only ever wanted children with you, the woman I love. Susan, we have to talk about this, you can’t do this when I’m trying to do the right thing by telling you the truth.’

  ‘Fuck off!’ she screamed in his face. ‘I’m leaving. You make me sick. I can’t be with you anymore. You’re a liar, a filthy fucking deceitful bastard. And this is the last straw. How can I be with you now knowing you have a kid to someone else? Did you never think to mention this to me when we met? You’re a rat, a dirty no-good fucking rat.’

  Donny was desperate. ‘I told you I had no idea until now. I’ve asked for a DNA test. And it’s like I said, Bethany was a slag, everyone was flinging one up her, the kid could be anyone’s. It’s a fucking lottery who his dad is.’

  Susan pressed her face up close, her anger radiating from every pore. ‘So go and get a DNA test because I’ll tell you something for nothing. I won’t be with you until you do. And you can stop fucking calling her a slag and all that – it takes two to tango, Donny. I can’t believe this. I thought you were going to tell me you’d lost a monkey or something, but this, Donny, this has pure killed me. I feel sick, I can’t even look at you. Move out of my way while I get my stuff together. I’m out of here.’

  Donny wasn’t too proud to beg. ‘Please, baby. I love you more than life itself, please don’t walk out on me. We can get through this together, me and you, remember, the dream team.’

  She looked over at him and spat in his direction. ‘Fuck you, Donny Knight.’

  Donny sat on the sofa watching the fire burn. It didn’t seem to calm him like it usually did. He wanted the world to burn – like the wreckage of his life. He typed out a text to Bethany.

  I want a fucking DNA ASAP. I’ll pay for it if needs be. You and your son are not ruining my life.

  He hit Send and turned round to see Susan stood near the door with a suitcase at her feet. Tears, lots of tears.

  He choked up at the sight of her, couldn’t get his words out properly. ‘I’ll sort this, Susan. I bet the kid isn’t mine, you have to believe me.’

  Not a word. Susan just looked at him coldly before she turned and walked out of the house. The walls shook as she slammed the door behind her. Donny screamed out like a wounded animal. This was his perfect life, how dare anyone come along and try to spoil it? He sat for a few minutes before wiping his eyes and picking up his car keys. He needed out of here, he needed to sort this mess out as soon as possible. Heads were going to roll, he’d make sure of it.

  Donny marched into the boozer and headed straight to the bar. He needed a stiff drink, something to take the edge off his nerves. He called over to the barmaid, ‘Double brandy,’ before slouching against the bar as if his legs were going to collapse. As he paid for his drink, he heard someone calling his name and twisted round quickly. For crying out loud, this was all he needed.

  ‘Donny, come and join us, I’ll budge up, you can sit here.’ Mel was sat with Tina. How could he tell his work colleagues to piss off, he wanted to be alone? He sighed and walked slowly over to join them.

  ‘Bloody hell, Donny, you look like I feel,’ Tina chuckled. ‘Did you get everything sorted out today?’

  ‘Yeah, all sorted. Anyway, what are you two doing in here on a school night?’ He tried to sound his usual confident self but he could hear how hollow his words seemed.

  Tina sighed. ‘Domestic. I might as well tell you, I’m leaving Chris.’ Donny was shocked. Bleeding hell, it was all going on here, wasn’t it? Mel wasn’t going to be left out of the conversation. ‘And I have an ex that, won’t take no for an answer. But, aye, you knew that, didn’t you?’ Tina followed Mel’s eyes to Donny, clearly surprised that these two had been having conversations about their private lives.

  Donny ignored Melanie and took a large swig of his drink. ‘Are you alright, Tina? That’s a big thing to do. Chris is a good guy, are you sure you’re doing the right thing?’

  Tina sat forward in her seat; it was clear she’d already had a few beers down her neck. ‘Donny, you don’t know the half of it. I have his kids disrespecting me all day and all he does is lie on the sofa and tell me to ignore them. His ex is back on the scene and they all think the sun shines out of her arse. I’ve had enough. I gave him chance after chance to sort it out and he’s done fuck all.’

  Mel was keen to add her two penn’orth. ‘Girl power. Men, they just don’t get it. I feel sorry for her, Donny, some of the things she’s been telling me about, stuff would make your toes curl.’

  Tina folded her arms, her head held high. ‘I don’t need him anymore. I’ve got my job, and I’ve got…’ She trailed off, looking awkward. ‘I mean, I’ve looked at my life over these last few months and do you know what?’ She was starting to get upset and Mel leant over and patted her arm before she continued. ‘I don’t need him. All he does is take, take, take. As long as everything is alright in his life and his tea is on the table and his washing is done, he’s not bothered about me. He’s seen me on my knees with everything that’s gone on and still he carries on like nothing has happened. Selfish bastard he is.’

  Donny was regretting that he’d come and sat with the pair of them. He really didn’t need this – he had enough of his own shit to deal with. He necked the rest of his drink and looked at them both. ‘Ladies, I’m so sorry but I have to go. I only popped in for a quick one. I hope you get sorted out. I’ll see you in work tomorrow and we can have a coffee and a catch-up.’

  Mel was clearly not pleased. ‘I thought you might have stayed with us, Donny. We are damsels in distress.’ She fluttered her eyelashes coquettishly, but Donny had already stood up to leave.

  ‘Sorry, like I said, I only called in for a swift one. See you tomorrow.’ He was out of there. Life was complicated enough right now without taking on anyone else’s troubles.

  Donny stood outside the pub and breathed in a mouthful of cold air. It was windy tonight and it had started to rain, pissing down. He jogged towards his car, the raindrops pelting against his skin. Suddenly he stopped dead, his mouth gaping. What. The. Fuck? His misery was quickly replaced by surging fury. Every window in his car had been smashed in. He’d only been in there twenty minutes.

  Donny quickly scanned the area looking for the culprits, but nobody was about. He put his coat around his hand and started to knock the rest of the glass out of the shattered windows, fuming and muttering under his breath. Suddenly a voice from behind him made him jump.

  ‘Oi.’

  Donny turned his head slowly. The voice had come from a tall man who was built like a brick shithouse, he could see that much, but against the glare of the only street lamp his face was nothing more than a silhouette.

  ‘Are you talking to me, mate?’ he asked, trying to keep the fear out of his voice. Not much rattled Donny normally – he could handle himself – but he prided himself in never getting into a tight spot unless he knew his opponent. Out here, alone, in the dark with a stranger with a grudge, this wasn’t good.

  The man’s growl was deep. ‘Yes I am talking to you. And I’m telling you now, keep your fucking hands off Melanie. She’s mine and always will be.’

  Donny dropped his coat on the floor and faced the man fully. But it was dark, and he couldn’t see much more. Still, knowing this was to do with Mel’s shit rather than his own problems, gave him his confidence back.

  ‘So you’re the bully, are you? The one who won’t leave her alone?’

  The man shook his head. ‘She’s a liar. Did she tell you she was in bed with me on Saturday night? No, I bet she didn’t, did
she?’

  Donny was really not in the mood. ‘It’s none of my fucking business who she spends her time with outside of work. Now unless you’ve got something useful to say, you can see I’ve got my hands full sorting out this shit. Did you see who smashed my windows?’

  The man nodded. ‘Kids, three of them. They were on pedal bikes. I was sat in my car over there and seen it all.’

  ‘Little bastards.’

  The stranger carried on talking. ‘Mr Knight, I’ve heard a lot about you recently and a word of advice, stick to sorting out fights with kids and whatever else those toerags at your school get up to. I’m telling, you nice and friendly like, to step away from shit that doesn’t concern you otherwise you won’t know what’s hit you.’

  Donny looked the bloke up and down, weighing him up. He was big but he reckoned he’d knock this chancer right out if he wanted a straightener. He bit down on his bottom lip as he thought about what he wanted to do; should he nut the guy or walk away?

  ‘Mate, you’re the one talking shit. I’m married. I’ve never been interested in Mel like that, she’s a great girl but we’re just workmates.’

  ‘I’ve seen you dropping her off and she’s been saying things about you too. Donny this, Donny that, a proper superhero you are aren’t you?’

  ‘As I’ve just said, I’m happily married so you’re barking up the wrong tree if you think we are an item because we’re not and we never will be.’

  The guy wasn’t listening, just started to walk away laughing out loud. ‘You still don’t recognise me do you, Donny Knight? I knew our paths would cross again one day. I’ll see you soon. Give my regards to Susan, by the way.’

  What the hell? Donny stood in the rain trying to make sense of what had just happened.

  He cleared the glass off the driver’s seat and sat with his head resting on the steering wheel. He just wanted everything to go back to normal. He wanted his wife back home where she belonged and to be curled up on the sofa with her. He looked at his phone; nothing from Susan. He tried calling her but the phone just rang and rang, no answer. He’d text her instead. He had to tell her again how much he loved her, adored her and how sorry he was that this had come back to haunt him. He read over the message a few times before he sent it. He had to find a way of convincing her it was all just a mistake and he could put this nightmare behind him.

  Donny was just about to turn the key in the ignition when he noticed a car creeping past him. Why was it going so slowly? He squinted into the darkness but he couldn’t see who was driving. Things were going from bad to worse.

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  Tina rushed up the stairs with Chris screaming behind her. ‘Why are you leaving like this? We can sort things out. I’ll have a word with the kids and things will change. Don’t leave me, Tina. I love you.’

  She headed into the bedroom and opened her wardrobe. ‘No, Chris. It’s time to start thinking about what I want in life. For years I’ve been a fucking skivvy for this family and it’s only now I can see it. Working all hours at school then coming home and doing it all over again. You’ve sat on your arse and let me run about after your bleeding kids. All I ever wanted was my own child and you didn’t give a flying toss.’

  He was behind her now, trying to turn her to face him. ‘I wanted the same as you, love. It’s not my fault you couldn’t have a baby. I wanted the same as you, I love you more than anything.’

  ‘Change the fucking record, Chris. You wanted someone to look after you and your kids. Their mother has been back in their lives for ten minutes and it’s like she’s the fucking chosen one. Where is my thanks for all I have done for them?’

  ‘I’ve backed you all the way, Tina. Nevaya has been told, Charlie has too. The kids love you. It must be hard for them seeing Wendy again after all these years. She is their mother.’

  Tina was throwing clothes onto the bed. She froze and looked him in the eyes. ‘And I’m not a mother. That’s just it. I want a baby, I need a baby, something that is mine. My own flesh and blood.’

  Chris sat down heavily on the bed and dropped his head into his hands. ‘I can’t make that happen, Tina. I wish I could, but what can I do? I’m not a miracle worker.’

  ‘We could have adopted, go on, why have you never suggested that? We could have used a surrogate. There were options, Chris. Options we could have explored, but no, it’s always the bleeding same, as long as you’re alright and your tea is on the table everyone else can take a running jump.’

  Tears were streaming down the side of his face now. He was broken. ‘Baby, don’t do this to us. I get things have been shite for you lately, but we can get through this together. Leaving me won’t change things or make things any better. What, are you going to live with your parents for the rest of your life?’

  Tina shook her head and started to fold her clothes into neat piles. ‘I’m renting somewhere. If I’m leaving here, then I need somewhere of my own.’

  The colour drained from Chris’ face. ‘You’ve been planning this, haven’t you? Have you met somebody else? Oh my God, you have, haven’t you? Wow, this makes so much sense now. All the texting … who is it?’

  Tina’s shoulders dropped. ‘Don’t be daft, there’s nobody else.’

  ‘So who is it you’re texting all the time then? Don’t think that I’ve not clocked you on your phone in the middle of the night. Go on, tell me who it is. If you’re cheating at least have the balls to admit it.’

  ‘I’m not texting anyone. I just go on my phone when I can’t sleep. Stop making things up. The reason I’m leaving is because I can’t stand my life here anymore. I want peace, Chris, not dramas all the time. Nevaya and Charlie won’t even care I’ve gone. After a few days, I doubt you will either.’

  Chris stood up and dragged his fingers through his hair. ‘No, this isn’t making any sense. I know you inside out, Tina. This is not you. Something is going on and I want to know what.’

  Tina shrugged him off and bent down to grab a suitcase from under the bed. She opened it up without thinking.

  Silence. Chris looked down at the piles of tiny baby clothes. He reached down and slowly picked up a small cardigan. His eyes found Tina’s. ‘What … what are these?’

  What could she say?

  Chris pulled the suitcase over towards him and rifled through the contents. What the fuck? He was sweating now. ‘Tina, what the hell is going on? How long have these been here? Why would you be buying stuff when you don’t have a baby?’

  Tina yanked the case away from him. ‘Get your hands off them. I will have a baby soon, you’ll see. I’m not a headcase, Chris, so don’t look at me like I’m losing the plot or something.’

  ‘Tina, please sit down. We need to talk about this. This is serious. You’re buying baby clothes when we don’t even have a baby. This is not right, you need help. First thing tomorrow, I’m calling the doctor’s. You need to tell them about these.’ He held a pair of tiny knitted bootees in his hand.

  Tina let out a shriek of anguish and fell to her knees. She broke down, smashing her fist against the floor, screaming. ‘All I want is a fucking baby. I cry every night, Chris, my heart is broken into a million pieces and do you even know how hard it is for me to get up every morning and face another day, because let me tell you, it’s hard, so bleeding hard. It’s killing me. I’ve been drinking again too. Every day, necking the brandy, see you didn’t even know about that either, did you? That shows how much notice you take of me, doesn’t it?’

  Chris crossed the room and took her in his arms. ‘Tina, Tina, shhh. We’ll look into adoption if that’s what you want. I will do anything to make you happy. But this,’ he pointed at the suitcase, ‘it has to stop. We can get through this together, we can work it out but only if you let me in. We can get you help with the drinking too. First we get you well again, then we’ll talk about kids.’

  Tina was sobbing h
er heart out, wet strands of hair stuck to the side of her face. It felt like forever until she was able to stop long enough to speak. She looked up at her husband. ‘I can get us a baby, Chris. I really can.’

  He wiped her tears away with the side of his hand and kissed the end of her nose. ‘We’ll sort it, together we will sort it.’

  Tina reached for his hands and squeezed them before she brought them to her mouth and kissed them. ‘I mean it, Chris. I can get us a baby. There are other ways than the usual ones. But did you really mean what you said? Do you really love me? Do you want to raise a child with me? Because so help me God, if you’re just stringing me along, I’m out of your life for good.’

  He didn’t even have to think about his answer. ‘I love you with all my heart, always have, and I always will. But what do you mean, you can get a baby?’

  ‘I’ve … I’ve …’ She paused. He held her tightly and kissed the top of her head.

  ‘What is it, Tina? Get it out, get it all out.’

  She closed her eyes tightly and her whole body was clenched as she spoke. ‘A student needs help at school and I’m helping her. She’s only young and she could never look after a baby, she has her whole life ahead of her and here’s us wanting a baby and, well, I’ve told her I will take it.’

  Chris was stunned into silence, trying to digest what she’d just said. ‘I … Tina … I don’t understand, what are you saying here? You’re going to have to spell it out for me.’

  ‘Amelia is a student at the school, and she is pregnant. She doesn’t want the baby and her family would kick her out if she told them, so I’ve said if she has the baby, I will bring it up as my own and it will want for nothing. It makes sense, doesn’t it, Chris?’

  He let go of her and held her at arm’s length. Was she off her rocker? She seemed to have lost it big time.

  ‘It doesn’t work like that, Tina. You can’t just take a young girl’s baby. Are you for real or what? This is fucked up, Tina, I mean really fucked up.’