“Back to the truck,” Jesse said. “Just one more stop.”
Jesse drove over to the town cemetery in South Wellfleet. The old guy had said he’d paid for the plot, but Jesse needed to be sure, to see where the last puzzle piece would lead them.
The cemetery was a small collection of uneven rows of very old gravestones bordered by tall pines. Some were tilted and leaning from years’ worth of wind and harsh weather. It was quiet. No one was in sight, so they parked and wandered up and down the narrow sandy paths for fifteen minutes, reading the names on each marker. Saint Anthony happily sniffed the ground, which seemed to hold fascinating scents. Jesse began to seriously doubt they would find the grave of Gregory Adams. Most of the stones had dates from the 1800s and early 1900s. Many were crumbling, their lettering all but worn away. But a few recent ones stood in a peaceful corner under an oak tree toward the back. Saint Anthony had wandered off to that section and was rolling in the dirt next to a newer headstone.
Star walked over there then shouted to Jesse, “Hey. Look at this.”
Jesse hurried over to where Star stood. “Wow...”
The inscription read: “Gregory Adams. 1950-2012. A peaceful man. Friend to all.” And in the center of the stone, above the writing, was an engraving of a bird. She reached over and touched the bird with her finger, tracing its head and beak.
Star sighed. “So he was telling the truth. Here he is. Can we go home now?”
Jesse exhaled. Maybe they had come to the end of their journey. It was time to go home. Star walked toward the truck, and Jesse followed. She turned back to call Saint Anthony and saw that he’d found something in the dirt near Gregory’s grave. “What’s he got in his mouth?”
Star went over to the dog. She reached down and pulled the object out of his mouth. “Gross. It’s all full of slobber.”
“What is it?” Jesse said.
“Just a slobbery piece of plastic. It looks like a lens cap from an old camera.” Star held up the round piece of black plastic.
Jesse walked over and grabbed the plastic out of Star’s hand. “That’s not a camera lens cap. It’s too small.”
“Then what is it?” Star said.
Jesse rubbed mud off one side of the cap with her thumb, revealing the letter S in dirt-stained blue tape. Jesse held it out in her opened palm for Star to see. Their eyes met and held. Jesse let the cap slip to the ground then shook her head fiercely, bringing her hand to her mouth.
She dropped to her knees and joined the dog, who was already onto a new scent, digging in the same spot where he’d found the binocular lens cap. She used her hands like shovels, scooping frantically, crazily, throwing the dirt behind her.
Not knowing what else to do, Jesse called Barnes the minute she found the other lens cap with the letter A in blue tape buried not far from where Saint Anthony had found the first. He told her to sit tight as he called the local police. Within minutes, they arrived on the scene, questioned Jesse, then began to search and dig around the same area.
She sat on a bench off to the side, still shaking, her head in her hands. Star was seated next to her, with Saint Anthony at their feet. Nearby, the sheriff and two policemen hovered over a plainclothes detective wearing latex gloves and picking through the dirt turned over by a workman with a shovel. The local reporter and a photographer both looked as anxious as Jesse felt. She had called Cooper and told him the whole story. That was when she’d lost it. In near hysterics, she’d sobbed, “Both lens caps. With Sophie’s initials in blue. I found them! Buried in the dirt. She could be nearby...”
Cooper had offered to come, but knowing it was a good two-and-a-half-hour drive from where he lived, she’d said, “No. I’m leaving soon. I have to get Star home. Besides, they won’t know anything for a while. And they haven’t found anything else yet.”
“I feel like I should be with you.”
She took a deep breath. “I’ll be okay. Just do one thing for me.”
“Anything.”
“Call Detective Jacobs in Canaan. Make sure they keep the press away from the house. I’m not up for that.” He was the local police detective who’d been on Sophie’s case for years.
“All right. But, Jess, call me when you get home.”
The sheriff, a tall man with kind eyes, came over with a cup of coffee for Jesse and a bottle of water for Star.
“How are you holding up?” he asked Jesse.
“Okay,” Jesse said then took a sip of coffee. She put her arm around Star.
The cops were milling about, speaking softly. They’d already cordoned the area off with yellow police tape.
“Ms. Albright, I think you and the young lady should head home. It’s been a long day for you both. We’ll be searching the entire area, and as soon as we get the go-ahead, we’ll exhume Gregory Adams’s grave. We’re going to reopen his file, interview anyone who knew him. We’ll call the minute we have news. The FBI has been contacted as well. I’m sure they’ll be in touch shortly.”
Jesse stood up shakily. It was totally surreal. If her life for the past six years had felt like a dream, one long horrific nightmare, what had just transpired felt even more bizarre. But unlike that day all those years ago, she didn’t need to be drugged. She needed the truth. She kept moving the pieces of the puzzle around in her mind like a chess game, going over what had happened, what she’d learned about Gregory Adams.
She just wanted to turn off her cell phone, get in her truck, and get out of there. The town that had been her favorite place, so full of wonderful memories, had suddenly morphed into the set of a Law & Order episode.
“Do you need a ride home?” the sheriff asked.
“No. I can drive. I have to get Star back.” She didn’t say the girl’s parents were furious with her or that they’d freaked out once they heard the shocking news. She’d called Blue, who’d also offered to come, but Jesse had assured him she was okay to drive Star home. And Barnes had checked in on her again. If he’d been mad at her before, there was no sign of that anymore. Just kindness.
Something else was niggling at her, though, what that old guy had said about Paul Bunyan at the AA meeting. “He’d never mess with any little girl. That, I can assure you. He was a decent man... He was the quiet type. Tended to disappear in a crowd, if you know what I mean.”
A real melt bird, Jesse thought.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Jesse and Star barely spoke during the long ride back. Star was slouched in her seat, earbuds in place, immersed in her private universe. The trip had taken on an odd sensation for Jesse, just as time had. The years Sophie had been missing sometimes felt like a minute, sometimes an eternity. Now, she felt as if they’d been gone a week, not just one day and night. Each time her mind replayed what had happened in Wellfleet, she couldn’t believe it. Still, she tried not to jump ahead, not to write a whole script without all the facts. But it seemed irrefutable.
Sophie’s lens caps! Not just found but found buried—next to a dead homeless man who was into birding and had met and talked to Sophie. But he’d supposedly died before she went missing. Jesse’s mind circled round and round. All she knew was that it felt like a ghostly treasure hunt, and Sophie was leading her on. Everything has changed and has changed forever. And whatever the outcome, you will be dealing with this nightmare in some way for the rest of your life.
She looked over at Star and saw the sleeve of her shirt had slid up. Jesse noticed, once again, the scars and the burn on her arm. The raw, jagged scab plain as day. Here was a living, breathing girl right in front of her who needed help desperately. Impulsively, Jesse pulled out one of Star’s earbuds and blurted, “You have to stop this cutting.”
Star glared at Jesse then quickly avoided eye contact. “What are you talking about?”
Without saying anything, she pulled Star’s sleeve up and nodded at the scars.
Star yanked her arm away, tugging her sleeve back down. “How do you know about that?” she shouted. “Who told you?”
Star sank lower in her seat, fumbled with her earpiece, trying to put it back in.
Jesse grabbed the cell phone. “Do your parents know?”
“Are you crazy? They’d kill me.”
Jesse placed her hand on Star’s shoulder.
The girl covered her face with her hands and broke down sobbing. “I don’t want to do it. But it blocks Sophie out. She scares me at night. Makes me feel like somehow it’s all my fault. She’s mad at me for some reason, and the cutting is the only way to get her to stop talking. I don’t hear her when I do it. It hurts, but it feels good. I’m crazy—I know. Please don’t tell my parents.”
Jesse pulled the truck over to the side of the highway and flipped the flashers on. She pulled Star to her in a tight hug. Jesse had been so consumed with her own guilt, she hadn’t noticed Star was absorbed with her own. She slowly rubbed Star’s back in wide circles the way she used to comfort Sophie.
“How long have you been doing this?” Jesse whispered.
“It started after Sophie first showed up at night. I don’t know... a few months ago maybe. I saw the pins and the seam ripper. I don’t know why. I just did it. Now I can’t stop. And now with Sophie really dead...”
“We don’t know for sure yet.”
“We know.”
Saint Anthony nudged his head into Star’s lap. She threw her arms around his neck and buried her face in his fur.
Jesse caressed her head. “Whatever happened to Sophie is not your fault. Not by a long shot.”
“Plus the Barn. The cutting. I’m so screwed.”
“I shouldn’t have brought you. This was a huge mistake.”
Star pulled away and wiped her eyes. “No, I wanted to come. We needed to come. It was important. It wasn’t a mistake, I swear.”
“All right, all right. It’s going to be okay. You're not alone. I’m going to help you with this.” She had no idea how she would help, but she just knew she had to try. She started the truck up, put it in gear, and got back on the road.
WITHOUT THINKING, JESSE headed toward Countryside Mall instead of continuing toward Canaan. She hadn’t meant to turn there. The route was longer, really, out of the way, but she’d driven there so many times, it had become rote. She drove past familiar landmarks as if on autopilot: the Barnes and Noble on the left, the Bed Bath & Beyond across the street, the Citgo on the right corner, just as they had passed them That Day. It all came rushing back to her.
After three attempts, Jesse had finally coaxed Sophie, who was never easy to rouse, out of bed. She’d fixed her the usual, a bowl of Cheerios without milk, then done a load of laundry. She’d packed a tuna salad sandwich for Cooper.
He came into the kitchen. “I may be late tonight,” he said, his back turned to Jesse as he looked for something in the pantry.
She exhaled. “Again? I barely see you anymore.”
“You know it’s our busy season. I’ve got extra trips to plan.”
“You need to make time for me. For Sophie. We’re a family, in case you forgot.”
He shot her a look. “How could I forget with your constant nagging?”
Jesse sighed. She was a mess of conflicting emotions about her marriage—and her daughter’s condition. They seemed to twist together like strands of knotted hair, making it hard to untangle and understand. Disappointment. Exhaustion. Abandonment. Guilt. They needed couples counseling, but neither of them had the energy after dragging Sophie all over the East Coast to therapists and doctors. “Whatever, Cooper.”
“I can’t help it. We need the money. All those doctors are expensive. What am I supposed to do?”
“Figure it out.” When did I start sounding like such a bitch? She hated that he made her act that way.
He watched as she busied herself wiping the countertop. “Jess?”
She turned to look at him then grabbed her purse. “I’ve got to go. See you someday.”
Sophie needed a new pair of sneakers for school. Canaan had no shoe stores, so they would have to trek to the mall—a big noisy place full of distractions. Not a place where Sophie was at ease. And if Sophie wasn’t at ease, Jesse became tense, and that probably transferred back to Sophie. All the stress just bounced back and forth. There was no way around it. The mall was a challenge, and Jesse wasn't looking forward to the trip.
As they inched along the highway in heavy weekend traffic, Jessie looked in the rearview mirror. Sophie was in the backseat, absorbed in her own world, as usual, peering through her binoculars. Her long, fine brown hair, parted on the side, was blowing behind her from the open window.
“Do you know what kind of sneakers you want, hon?” Jesse asked.
Sophie, glued to her binoculars, didn’t answer.
“Earth to Sophie. Sneakers?”
No answer.
“Sophie.”
“I don’t know. Whatever.” She sat up straight and pulled the binoculars from her eyes, gazing determinedly off in the distance. She brought them back up to her face then said in a monotone, “Tufted titmouse, mourning dove, titmouse, titmouse.” Suddenly, Sophie leaned forward and tapped Jesse on the head, “Whoa. Mom, Mom, Mom, pull over. I think it’s a scarlet tanager. See him?”
“Not now, Sophie. I’m driving.”
“But he’s beautiful. You have to stop. I’ve never seen one. And a male.” She pointed out the side window to a tree. “Please, please, please! For my life list.”
“I can’t stop now. Look at this traffic.”
“I’ve waited my whole life to see a scarlet tanager!”
“You have your whole life ahead of you. There’ll be other tanagers. We’re shoe shopping today, not birding.” Jesse knew that wasn’t the way to deal with her. Not the right words.
She kicked the back of Jesse’s seat. “You’re a black-billed cuckoo.”
“Hey. What have I told you about kicking?”
“You are an annoying cuckoo.”
“Last time, I was a barn owl.”
“Well, this time, you’re a cuckoo. ‘Cu-cu-cu-cu,’ yelling at Dad. ‘Cu-cu-cu-cu,’ yelling at me.”
Things were not going well. They were too far along to turn back for home. What would her book about handling high-spirited, gifted kids suggest? Think, think, think. “Sophie, I believe you are upset because you think you won't see the tanager again. I can understand that would be very frustrating.”
“‘Cu-cu-cu-cu.’” And she kicked Jesse’s seat again. “Not stopping to look.”
“I’m driving.” She can’t help herself.
Her high-pitched scream made Jesse’s heart practically lurch out of her chest. She saw a flash of something in the rearview mirror—Sophie’s hair flapping back and forth like a flag, whipping in a harsh wind as she angrily threw her head from side to side. Sophie had gotten hold of a map or a paper bag and was ripping it up into tiny bits, throwing it like confetti in the confines of the car, still shrieking. She was completely in the Red Zone, the place no one wanted their child to be, the place Jesse normally avoided at all costs.
Jesse maneuvered the car over to the right lane then pulled over to the side of the road, cars whizzing past her. She took a deep breath, trying to channel words she’d read in her book.
As calmly as she could, she said, “Sophie, you must stop. You can be flexible. I'm in traffic, driving, and if I'm not careful, we could get into an accident. We have to follow our plan to get sneakers, and then we can do some bird-watching. We must stick to our plan. You are enthusiastic about birds, which is great. But you are very upset, and you need to figure out what to do to calm down. A time-out would be a good idea.” By then the scarlet tanager was long gone and forgotten.
A car horn snapped Jesse out of the memory. She looked around, and not surprisingly, the Countryside Mall was up ahead. Move quietly. A sudden movement or noise, such as that made when raising y
our binoculars to your eyes, can scare off a bird. Move gently. She pulled into the mall parking lot and found a spot near the cinema entrance.
“Well?” Star said.
“Well, what?”
Star sighed. “The mall?”
“I’ve got to show you something.”
Exasperated, Star said, “We’re going to the Zone, aren’t we?”
Jesse unhooked her seatbelt. “Yes, as a matter of fact, we are.” She just hoped that snotty salesgirl, Monica, wasn’t working and that security guard was somewhere else. “C’mon. It’s important. I need to show you something before I take you home.” She got out, leaving Saint Anthony in the truck.
Star was sitting with her arms crossed over her chest, staring ahead.
“It will only take a moment.”
Star didn’t budge.
“Please, Star.”
“I just want to go home.”
“We will. Soon. Do this for me. Please.”
Star begrudgingly climbed out of the truck. They went in the entrance between the cinema and Macy’s. Once inside, they rounded the corner from the food court and walked past the Foot Locker. Jesse saw that where the Zone had been located only a week ago was a vacant storefront.
Chapter Twenty-Three
“Isn’t this where the Zone is supposed to be?” Jesse stopped abruptly then turned around to see if she’d entered through the wrong door.
“I thought so...” Looking confused, too, Star went up to the metal accordion-like gate blocking off the entrance of the empty store. The sign had been taken off the front façade, but in its place were clean white spaces in the shape of the letters Z, O, N, and E. The inside had been gutted. A workman wearing a hard hat was dismantling empty shelves. Another was erecting a scaffold next to a counter with a cash register. Piles of lumber, boxes, and hangers littered the floor. In shock, Jesse and Star watched for a few minutes. Then the men said exchanged words, grabbed their lunchboxes, and headed out.
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