Redbird

by E. E. Burke

  If only she could’ve inspired his love. She’d tried. Now, she had to accept what had become obvious to everyone else. Jake might care for her, but he didn’t love her like she loved him.

  “If Father appoints you president, be sure to let me know. I’ll be moving to Washington soon,” she informed Henry. “To lobby Congress for universal suffrage.”

  “You must be looking forward to that.”

  “It’s a cause I believe in.”

  “But not what you want more than anything?” he said in a teasing, yet gentle, tone.

  Tears welled up without warning.

  Henry reacted with alarm. He grabbed a handkerchief out of his coat pocket and put it in her hand. “Good heavens. I was only joking. I didn’t mean to—”

  She dabbed her eyes and tried to laugh. “It’s not anything you said. I don’t know how to answer. What I want more than anything, I can’t have.”

  He stared at her for a moment, as if by concentrating he could pry open her mind. Then he went around the desk and retrieved a folded paper from the top drawer. “I believe you might be able to have what you want.”

  She unfolded what appeared to be a letter. At the bottom, Jake’s signature, below a line that stole her breath.

  My heart will always be yours.

  Kate’s hand trembled. Joy reignited hope. Then, it struck her. Henry had taken this letter out of his desk. “Where did you get this?”

  “Colston gave it to me right before he left. Asked me to deliver it, which I’ve done.”

  “Three weeks later! Why didn’t you give it to me before?” she demanded.

  Henry stiffened. His arms went back across his chest. “Because I thought it best to wait until he showed himself to be worthy of you.”

  “Poppycock!” Kate whirled away before she gave in to the urge to slap him. Damn Henry and his manipulations. “You waited because you weren’t sure he’d uphold his end of the deal.”

  “Like I said, I waited until he proved he’s an honorable man. You don’t need a scoundrel.”

  She returned and punched Henry’s shoulder. It didn’t move him. Didn’t even faze him. “I cannot believe this. I thought we were friends, at least.”

  “We are. I did it for your own good. What if he’d run off and you’d gone after him? That other Indian might’ve nabbed you. I was thinking about your welfare. At times, I have to do the same thing for my sisters. They don’t always understand what’s best for them.”

  His adult sisters.

  She shook her head, incredulous. “Good God, Henry. You are insufferably arrogant.”

  His only reaction to her condemnation, to arch his eyebrow imperiously. “I thought you said you admired me.”

  “At one time, I might have. Right now, I’d rather not think about you at all.” She walked away from him and sat down in a chair to read the rest of Jake’s letter.

  Her anger and frustration drained away, replaced with awe, exhilaration and a rush of love so powerful it made her chest ache. Jake loved her. His feelings for her came through in every word. He hadn’t asked her to come after him, but this letter gave her hope that they might have a future together. What she wanted more than anything.

  She jumped to her feet. “I have to pack.”

  “I thought you might.”

  Kate stopped at the door. She turned slightly to address the man who’d taken a seat behind the desk. Despite Henry’s frustrating foibles and insufferable flaws, he had given Jake a second chance when few other men would’ve done so.

  He hadn’t done it for Jake. He’d gotten something in the bargain. Except, a man as determined as Henry Stevens could’ve found another way to achieve what he wanted.

  He’d chosen to give her what her heart desired.

  “Thank you, Henry.”

  “You’re welcome, Kate.”

  Chapter 24

  A twinge in his side roused Jake from a deep sleep. It wasn’t his mending ribs. Rather, something poked him. Full awareness came in the next moment. He sat up with a groan and pulled a sharp-edged stone from beneath the bear skin rug. Daylight shone through the slanted entrance to the cave.

  From somewhere outside, a blue jay chided.

  “Good morning to you, too,” Jake muttered. He scrubbed his fingers through his hair, which he hadn’t bothered to cut over the past six weeks. His ancestors had let their hair grow, why not him? No one else was around to offer an opinion.

  Redbird had eluded him again in her dream form. The last time she had been physically present, bound and terrified, she had thought to slip out the back of this dead-end cave. He’d managed to thwart her numerous attempts to escape. Yet, in the end, she’d insisted on remaining at his side. Even after hope was lost, she’d found him a way out.

  Jake sighed. She wouldn’t venture back to this place even if she could find it again. He was lucky she had talked Stevens into a bargain, which would potentially benefit all parties involved. His uncle has promised to send word of the final outcome from the negotiations.

  In the meantime, he had to exercise patience. Something Redbird had trouble with, as well. She was one of the most impatient beings he’d ever met. Although most of her impatience was directed at injustices and wrongdoing because she wanted to fix both. He loved her for that.

  After his uncle brought him the news he awaited, he would know which direction to take—head back home or deeper into the wilderness. Neither one would lead him to Redbird. Not in this lifetime. He had accepted that, as well as the yawning hole she’d left in his heart. He marveled at how she had filled it completely in such a short time.

  He left his clothes behind and strolled naked down to the river. The sand warmed his bare feet. Bathe first, then breakfast. He stopped to scoop up a flat stone, and with a flick of his wrist sent it hopping across the water.

  For some reason, he’d awoken feeling more restless than usual, as if he’d forgotten something or had left an important task undone.

  His gaze shifted upward, beyond a forested bluff, to a sky as blue as Redbird’s eyes. He stared, transfixed, until a soft voice reminded him that last night the sky had been pitch-black, which heralded…

  The New Moon.

  He'd forgotten. Or he’d shut it out of his mind. He hadn’t participated in the ritual celebration since the day Ocoee had died.

  Let go, Redbird had told him. Accept the gift of life.

  He swallowed to relieve the tightness in his throat. Even Charley had released him. How could he let go of his shameful past? If he didn’t purge the guilt, it would continue to fester until it devoured him.

  Jake dropped the rock. He knew what he must do.

  He walked into the river. Chicken flesh prickled his skin as he waded out to where the water reached his chest. Taking a deep breath, he submerged.

  He remained beneath the surface long enough to allow the impurities to gather in his lungs. His chest began to burn. Dark spots danced behind his eyelids.

  He held his breath until he felt lightheaded and weightless.

  Now.

  Now, he could rise.

  With his toes, he dug into the silt and shot up, breaking the surface, gasping for air. Water poured from his hair over his bare skin in tiny rivers. It washed away the sweat that clung to his body and the sins that had weighed down his soul.

  He lifted his arms and chanted the song of renewal. He could not change the past, but he could be freed from it to become a better man in the future, which was another way he might honor his debt to Redbird.

  Jake splashed out of the river, feeling cleaner than he had in years.

  “Wa-ya!”

  He spun in the direction the call had come from. His gaze flew to the rocky outcrop where a hidden path led down to the cave.

  His uncle raised an arm and waved. Someone stood next to him. A woman dressed in men’s trousers.

  Jake caught a glimpse of red hair beneath a floppy hat, and his heart came to a dead stop.

  Kate perched on a large rock
with one leg drawn up and a booted foot propped on another boulder. It felt incredibly freeing to wear pants without having a skirt over them. Jake apparently felt the same sort of exhilarating freedom when he went around without clothes.

  She smiled into the tin cup and took a sip of coffee. Gracious, what a sight he’d made coming up out of the water like some pagan river god, with his black hair slicked back and his bronze skin gleaming. She’d been struck speechless. Until she’d gained the presence of mind to turn around and give him privacy to fetch his clothing.

  After an awkward greeting, Jake had cooked them a breakfast of fresh fish while his uncle shared news of the negotiations between the tribal council and the railroad. The lease proposal had been well received, and an agreement was imminent. One that would protect Cherokee sovereignty over their lands while letting the railroad steam ahead.

  Mr. Ross had departed for home after they’d finished eating. She remained with the excuse she had business to discuss with Jake.

  “What business do we need to discuss?” He held her cup steady as he refilled it. When their fingers touched a thrill shot through her.

  He’d hovered over her ever since she’d arrived, getting close enough to touch her, yet, he hadn’t. Until now, and this touch appeared accidental.

  He set the coffee pot near the fire, then perched on a tree stump a few feet away with his feet planted and his arms resting on his knees. He’d given her no invitation to occupy his lap.

  Kate wrestled her disappointment behind an encouraging smile. She hadn’t misread his heated glances when he thought she wasn’t looking. For some reason, he seemed determined to keep his distance. “Unsettled business. Between us,” she clarified.

  He picked up a stick to stir embers that didn’t need stirring. “Ah. I didn’t realize we had any. You weren’t at Stevens’s railcar when I met with him.”

  Had her decision to stay away hurt him? She’d intended the opposite.

  “I’m sorry if my absence gave you the wrong idea. Based on our last conversation, I thought it might be wise to give you some time to yourself. To decide what you wanted. Without the woodpecker.”

  Jake met her eyes with an intense gaze. “You should know I admire woodpeckers. Your persistence is one of your best traits. I believe I wrote something like that. Did Stevens give you the letter?”

  “He did...” She fisted her hands on her knees. She’d been tempted to strangle him afterwards. “Henry said you’d written it before you left. He decided to hold onto it until he knew whether you’d keep your end of the bargain.”

  A muscle in Jake’s jaw twitched. He wasn’t pleased.

  Neither was she.

  “He tried to explain his reasoning, something to do with wanting what was best for me. Honestly, I have no desire to fathom his motives. His delay is why I didn’t show up sooner. Jake, I would’ve gone with you the day you left, if I’d known you wanted me to go.”

  “I would not have taken you.” His blunt answer sent a sharp pain straight through her heart.

  He stood and brushed dirt off his faded trousers, came to her side and went down on one knee. “Because I could not guarantee you would be safe. After I arrived home, I found Charley. He gave me his promise not to hurt you.”

  Relief lifted the last of her fear. “That’s good to hear.”

  From what Jake had told her while he was in jail, she had come to understand Charley better, and had forgiven him in her heart. “I hope he can find peace.”

  “As do I.” Jake reached for her hand. She slid her fingers through his. “Kate, I had nothing to offer you before. Now, I ...” Regret filled his gaze. “I still have nothing to offer. I haven’t heard anything about the case against me.”

  Tenderness welled in her heart. He thought he was a wanted man. No one was searching for him. No one, except for her.

  “There is no case against you, Jake. None of our workers could provide a detailed description or identify you with any certainty.” She didn’t go into the part where she’d begged Henry for his help. “The judge threw out the case. Henry convinced my father to close the books, and to focus on an agreement with your leaders, so they could restart construction.”

  The strained lines around Jake’s mouth relaxed. “That’s why you’re here, to tell me I’m not wanted?”

  “No. I could’ve sent your uncle to tell you that. I came here to make you an offer.”

  After a great deal of thought, she had come up with an idea. At the time, she’d deemed it brilliant. At this moment, she wasn’t sure whether it was something she wanted that had nothing to do with Jake’s dreams and desires.

  “What kind of offer?”

  “My friend, Miss Susan Anthony, has asked if I would return to Washington to support another campaign for universal suffrage. It’s a cause I believe in and have a heart to fight for, but... I don’t want to go alone. I’d like for you to come with me.”

  “Washington?” He shook his head. “I thought you wanted to run the railroad. You told me you wished to have more influence in your father’s business.”

  “Yes, I did say that, only...it wasn’t a job I wanted…or power.” She looked down at their twined fingers on her knee and put her other hand over his. “What I thought I wanted was my father’s acceptance and love.”

  “Did you find what you sought?” Jake asked softly.

  Kate responded with a sad smile. “I’m no longer his heir. That should give you the answer.” Her father had cut her off when she told him she planned to ask Jake to return to Washington with her. It no longer mattered. He had cut her off emotionally years ago.

  “He left you without resources?” Jake sounded worried.

  “I inherited a small fortune from my aunt and invested it in the railroad. Now, thanks to you, that investment will pay off.”

  “Is that what you want?”

  Jake ought to know her better. Maybe he did and just needed to hear her articulate what was on her heart.

  “No. I can’t be who—or what—Father wants me to be. He can’t love me like I need to be loved. But, I’ve made peace with myself. You helped me to see that I am lovable, and admirable, and valuable, just the way I am.”

  Jake hadn’t moved an eyelash. His letter had been eloquent. His words sent her heart soaring. He’d repeated none of it, nor had he declared himself. Maybe he’d changed his mind.

  She breathed out a self-deprecating laugh. “Besides, Father doesn’t need my help. He’s got Henry. There’s a reason his men call him the Chief. You should’ve seen him in action. Henry latched onto the prospect of leasing. Before the discussion was over, he had my father eating out of his hand. He’ll be named president soon, I suspect.”

  “Leasing wasn’t his idea,” Jake scoffed.

  He disliked Henry, for good reason. Unfortunately, the dislike went both ways. Again, for good reason.

  “The decision to steal railroad money to fund a lawsuit wasn’t Charley’s idea either. You knew I’d prefer to believe that. As much as I hate to admit it, my father wouldn’t have gone along with the proposal if he thought the idea was mine. I told Henry to take the glory. To his credit, he was the one who actually convinced Father to give up the fight for those land grants.” She lifted one shoulder in a shrug. “Seemed a fair enough trade-off.”

  Was Jake proud of her? It was difficult to tell from his expression.

  “You convinced Stevens to have me released?”

  She looked down and nodded. She wanted no more falsehoods between them.

  “And you gave him and your father a solution to the stalemate between the railroad and my people?”

  “I hoped it would turn out that way.”

  “However you did it, you gave me back my life. If you want me to come with you to Washington, I would be honored to do so. But what can I do for you there?”

  With tears in her eyes, she rubbed her thumb over back of Jake’s hand. “It’s not what you could do for me. It’s what you can do for yourself. I have a frien
d who is a law professor. He’d be willing to teach you. You could study the law, apprentice with—”

  “Me? A lawyer?” Jake gave a dry laugh.

  “Like I said before, you’d be a great one.”

  “I didn’t think you were serious.”

  She looked up at him with all sincerity. “Well, I admit, at the time I hadn’t thought deeply about it. Upon reflection, it seemed a perfect fit. To me, anyway. You’re intelligent, educated, you have a good mind for strategy. I know you want to help your people, and this is one way you could do that.”

  The former outlaw stared at the embers glowing in the fire pit. Sunlight struck blue-black glints in his damp hair. She itched to stroke it, as well as other parts of his body she shouldn’t be thinking about. Not until they were married. If they married.

  Despite being fathered by a white man, as far as Jake was concerned, he was Cherokee. He might not be willing to bind himself to a white woman. Not even his Redbird.

  “I never thought...” he mused.

  She jerked her attention from his hair to his solemn expression. Her excitement dimmed. If he wasn’t keen on the idea, she would not push him. “It’s perfectly fine if you don’t want to be a lawyer. Whatever you want, I’ll support you—”

  “Actually, I think I would.” Jake’s mouth tipped up in a bemused smile. “I just never imagined that kind of future.”

  She could, if her faith in him had anything to do with it. “You can accomplish whatever you set your mind to, Jake. I believe in you.”

  He appeared stunned at her declaration. A moment later, concern crinkled his forehead. “If you show up in Washington with me, prepare to be spurned. People will call you names. Ugly names.”

  “They already have. Starting with my father.” She shook her head at Jake’s pained expression. “Do you think I care what other people think? I never have, and I never will. If someone chooses to make an issue of it, we shall snub our noses at them then go about our business.”