Permelia Cottage

by Carole Lehr Johnson

  April followed his gaze and read the list of familiar names among those who worked on the housing project—including Susannah Wilkinson. Even though she cared to know of the connection between Susannah and Colin Heard, she longed to find out what happened between Ryan and his mother. The pain emitting from him at every mention of her now seemed to weigh upon April too.

  Chapter 15

  Neville, North Yorkshire, England

  2016

  Colin led the group through the renovated section of the factory. The structure was now sound enough to undergo an inspection, and it was time to do the internal designing, sectioning off rooms, planning details of closets, positioning doors, and decorating. The few families living in the factory had been relocated to the Horden Inn at his company’s expense.

  “Letice and Susannah have agreed to be in charge of designing the floor plan of the flats, and—”

  Vita interrupted, her voice edged with sarcasm. “Why should they do it? We didn’t discuss it in a committee meeting.”

  Colin angled his gaze on Vita. “Letice and Susannah are the only two on the committee who don’t work full-time. Besides, Vita, you agreed to organize the decor.” Before she could respond he added, “Vita, you work long hours at the gallery. I hardly think you have much time to spare.”

  Vita didn’t argue but said in a huff, “Well, you could have at least brought it before the committee.”

  “I apologize. I had no idea it would be an issue before Parliament.” His voice held no sarcasm but made his point. Vita said nothing. The silence hung like the electrical wires dangling from the ceiling.

  Susannah stood straighter and asked, “Colin, wouldn’t it be reasonable to include the people that will be living here in the decisions involving decorating?”

  He laid a hand on her shoulder, letting it linger briefly. “You’re right. I hadn’t thought of that. They could voice their preference of colors and styles that appeal to them.” His eyes glowed with appreciation as their eyes met. “That’s a great idea.”

  The warmth from his touch was unnerving. She didn’t want to pull away, but the contact unsettled her. Not in a bad way, but there were others present, and aware. Relief flooded her when Colin moved on, pointing out different aspects that had been accomplished in the building.

  Letice elbowed Susannah’s side and whispered, “Good going. Wonderful thought.”

  But clearly not everyone agreed. Vita pushed past them with a scowl and trailed Colin.

  The tour continued without further discourse, with the exception of Tom growing impatient and voicing loudly, “I have commitments elsewhere,” before he abruptly left.

  A half-hour later, Colin stood in front of the group and thanked them for attending. All dispersed except Susannah, Amanda, Letice, and Vita. Vita kept to the side, still wearing a scowl.

  “If any of you have any further suggestions on the renovation, please contact me.” Colin looked at each person there. “You too, Vita.”

  “Colin, you don’t have to throw me any crumbs. I want to be a part of this and be useful, but it seems you’ve chosen who has a say-so—and who doesn’t.” Her eyes met Susannah’s before she walked away.

  Susannah made a move toward her, but Amanda held her arm and mouthed, “No.”

  She patted Amanda’s hand and pulled away. “Vita, please wait.”

  Vita turned her head. “What do you want?” Her tone brusque.

  The others stayed within hearing distance.

  “No one is trying to leave you out. It’s as Colin said, you work so much at your business that he didn’t think you’d have the time to do all that’s required and plan the decor. Letice and I have ample time. I’m sure there are plenty of other things to be done in the next phase.”

  “Yes, like what? I’d think this would be the end of it once all is decorated.”

  Susannah’s thoughts whirled trying to come up with something to placate the woman, and the perfect idea came. “What about the grand opening party? That’s going to have to be planned, and it wouldn’t be intense or time-consuming. Though it’s important.”

  Vita pursed her lips. “Well, yes, I suppose. I am good at entertaining.” Her eyes narrowed, and a frown line appeared between her brows. “Why would you care if I was included or not?”

  “Why wouldn’t I? I don’t know you well, but I’d like to. After all, we are Christians in this ministry together, aren’t we?”

  Vita’s shoulders slumped. She gave Susannah a dull-eyed look. “You’re right. I’ll talk to Colin about the idea, or better yet, I’ll bring it before the next meeting.” Uncharacteristically, Vita smiled and bid Susannah goodbye.

  Susannah returned to the group, their questioning eyes not to be ignored. “Colin, I hope I didn’t overstep my boundaries, but I wanted Vita to feel included. I mentioned she could plan the grand opening party.” She sighed. “I hope it was all right.”

  He gave her a slow, disbelieving shake of his head. “Sorry, we couldn’t help but overhear what you said.”

  Amanda’s eyes widened. “How’d you manage to break through her ice so fast?”

  “She only wants to be included, and the party would be her forte from what I’ve observed. Remember the veggie and fruit trays at the meetings? She went to a lot of trouble to make those spectacular. Her art gallery is evidence of her artistic abilities.” She looked at Colin for approval or denial.

  “You’re right—and no, it’s not a problem. Thanks for thinking of it. The party is a splendid idea, and she’d be an asset in planning it.” He nodded toward Susannah and Letice. “Amanda, I’m going to kidnap these two for the rest of the afternoon if they’re free and give them the information they need to start.”

  “Not a problem. I need to go to the church and finish the bulletins for tomorrow’s service. Colin, thanks for the tour—and, girls, good luck.”

  She left, and Colin turned to them. “Well, are you available to be kidnapped?”

  Letice sighed. “Well, I’d love to, but I promised my daughter I’d help her pick out the crib for our soon-to-be born grandchild. Sorry—first grandchild trumps all else. Sue, I’ll see you at church tomorrow, although I may stop by this evening and bring that book you wanted to borrow.”

  Susannah lowered her eyebrows and offered Letice a probing gaze. She didn’t remember asking to borrow a book. Hesitantly, she replied, “That would be nice.” Letice didn’t meet her eyes but bid them goodbye.

  Colin’s eyes brightened. “I guess it’s a committee of two this afternoon—that is if you’re free. I’m sorry, I should have asked first.”

  “I am free unless household chores win out over committee planning chores.”

  “Where shall we go to discuss our plans? All the papers and samples are in my car.”

  “Do you have an office in Neville?” They walked slowly from the building, squinting in the bright sunshine. Susannah slipped on a pair of sunshades.

  “I do at home, but no one is there on the weekends. Unless I’m entertaining, I don’t allow my employees to work weekends. That’s time for family and their own household chores.” His tone held an edge of teasing at her words, which made Susannah smile.

  “We can go to your office if you like.”

  Colin’s step faltered. “It may not be the best place since we’d be alone. We wouldn’t want to give someone the wrong idea.”

  Susannah’s face heated. “Oh, I hadn’t thought of that. I suppose I’m too old to think along those lines anymore.”

  His eyes twinkled. “Too old? You’re far younger than I am.” He opened the car door for her. “At forty-nine, I don’t consider myself to be old.”

  A strange sensation swept over her. She was nearly six years his senior. The words blurted out before she could catch them. “Well, I have you beat by several years.”

  Colin stilled his hand on the door. “What? That can’t be.”

  Susannah regretted revealing her age, although, why was that? She wasn’t ashamed of it. If
Colin could be interested in her without knowing her age, being aware of it shouldn’t be an issue. Now, remembering the mirror conversation she’d had at Talbot’s the previous night, she reprimanded herself. She didn’t know if he was interested in her, or vice versa.

  She slid into the car. More confident, she addressed Colin as he seated himself next to her and closed his door. “Age is simply an attitude. That is until your body won’t cooperate with your mind.” She laughed as he produced a feeble smile.

  He drove from the parking lot before he spoke. Stopping at the street, he turned to her. “Care to go to the Horden Inn?”

  “Good idea. It was the first place I stayed when I came to Neville on my scouting trip with my friend, Diann.”

  Colin didn’t respond. They drove in silence until Susannah couldn’t take it any longer.

  “Colin, is there a problem with my age?” Her lips quivered. “Do you think someone younger should manage this job?”

  “Goodness, no. Is that what you think? I’ll admit it was a shock. You look so much younger than I do, so I was taken aback. I certainly didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.”

  Susannah gazed at her lap, smiling.

  Colin pivoted his gaze from the road to Susannah, back and forth. All the while his smile broadened. “Will you let me in on the joke, please?”

  “It’s too funny. I thought you were a lot younger than me.”

  “No? Seriously?”

  Now, both laughing, the uncomfortable moment evaporated. Parking in front of the Horden Inn, they sat smiling at one another.

  Susannah’s mood cheered, “So, we have a few years between us. That’s not a big deal. I think we’re going to be great friends.”

  Propping his right forearm across the steering wheel, he looked at her, his tone melancholy. “Yes, I suppose you’re right.”

  Susannah read this agreement of friendship as proof that Colin was not concerned with anything more. She’d been right not to get her hopes up with a new relationship, relief not to be on-stage whenever she was in his presence—always afraid she would say or do something to embarrass herself.

  A few minutes later, they were seated with tea in front of them. They chatted easily, although Susannah seemed to be more at ease than Colin. After discussing the vendors that Colin suggested using—all locally owned—Susannah found herself interrupting their meeting. “Colin, have I said something to offend you?”

  He toyed with his spoon, scooping more sugar into his tea. “Susannah, I certainly don’t want to seem too forward, but you must realize I’m interested in getting to know you and not on a professional or ministerial level …” He struggled to continue, running his finger along the edge of the cup’s rim. “Nor as only a friend.”

  Susannah surveyed her cup, unsure how to respond. “Colin, I’m sorry you have a problem with our age difference. I did sense that you were possibly interested in me, but I thought you were merely being friendly to someone new in town.”

  She looked up to find him staring at her, a strange faraway expression in his eyes … not sad or rejected. A slow smile spread on his clean-shaven face, which soon turned to soft laughter, his eyes crinkling at the corners.

  “What on earth is so funny?”

  “It’s incredible, how people can have such a misunderstanding.”

  She shook her head. “I don’t understand.”

  “Neither did I. We both thought the other had a problem with the age difference between us. If two adults are drawn to one another, an age difference shouldn’t factor in at all.”

  She tapped a finger to her chest. “Do you mean that you thought I had a problem with your being younger than me?”

  “Yes, I thought you were the one with the issue and wanted only to be friends. I don’t mean to be so quick to shove ahead, but I must say I cannot be happier that you’re in agreement. The moment I met you, I wanted to get to know you better … and I promise I won’t rush. Let’s get acquainted as friends first, and we’ll see what happens. Fair enough?”

  Susannah’s heart raced, her face warming. She’d never had a man be so straightforward with her. It was refreshing and hard not to fall into the warmth in his eyes. Swiftly, a mental picture of Colin and Vita dining together at Talbot’s popped into her head.

  He stopped smiling. His face fell with disappointment. “What’s wrong—you don’t want to pursue this?”

  She stammered. “Well, I, I’m sorry, it’s ... it sounds so silly and school-like.” She swallowed hard, and her words rushed out. “What about dinner with Vita last night? She seemed interested in you. And vice versa.” She focused on the table and watched as his long, well-formed fingers moved her teacup aside and he gently pulled her hands into his, warm and comforting.

  “I had no idea you thought that was a romantic dinner. Sometimes Vita can be very demanding. We did go out briefly in school, and since that time, she thinks she can force her way back into my life. I’ve put up with it because I think I hurt her when I left Neville to go to university and didn’t stay in touch. I’ve been trying to make it right with her, but that’s about to stop. We obviously don’t want the same things in life.”

  “You certainly don’t owe me an explanation.”

  Colin squinted his eyes. “To be honest, it pleases me that it bothered you. It confirms what I wasn’t sure of—that you do want to be better acquainted.” He gave a lopsided smile and squeezed her hands.

  In the back of her mind, Susannah envisioned the disaster of her marriage to Aaron and how thrilling it all felt when their relationship began. Was this the same start only with another man?

  ∞∞∞

  Diann’s ringing phone sounded like it would go on forever. Susannah’s impatience to speak with her growing with it. She needed advice or a dear friend to listen.

  A sleepy voice answered. “Hello.”

  “Diann, I thought you’d never answer”

  “Could it be I had to wake up? Do you have any idea what time it is here?” A long yawn followed, and a tumble of hurried words flowed, “Oh my. Is everything all right?”

  “Diann, calm down. Everyone is fine. I need to talk to you.”

  A flamboyant sigh came through the line. “At five in the morning?”

  “I’m sorry. It’s a personal problem, and I need advice. I shouldn’t have called and bothered you. We’ll talk another time.”

  She started to press the end button when she heard Diann’s voice. “Don’t you dare hang up that phone! If you’re upset enough to call me at this hour, it must be serious. Spill it.”

  Susannah held the phone to her ear, silent tears ready to launch.

  “Sue, are you crying?” Her voice calm and sympathetic. “Please tell me what’s wrong.”

  Susannah’s voice trembled. “Can you come see me? I’ll buy your ticket.” Her words came in gasps now, tears flowing. “Di, every time I’m around h ... him, I’m tongue-tied. Handsome men make me nervous. I’m petrified of a n … new relationship.” She hiccupped.

  “What’re you talking about?” Diann said through a yawn.

  “It’s this guy I’ve met. He’s too good looking, too nice, and too rich.” She blew her nose.

  Diann yawned loudly. “And how is that a problem?”

  “Di. I’m serious. I refuse to get involved with another man. I can’t live through that pain again.”

  “Susannah, you don’t have to marry the guy.” Another loud yawn escaped. “He didn’t ask you to marry him, did he?

  “Oh, my word, no.” The thought horrified her.

  “What’s the problem? Why can’t you just enjoy his company and friendship? There are a lot worse things in the world to experience.”

  Susannah heard a muffled man’s voice ask, “Who is it?”

  “Tell Wayne I’m so sorry for waking him.”

  “Oh, don’t worry about him. He’ll be snoring in ten seconds.” Diann whispered, “And he’s good-looking on top of rich? Please go on.”

  Susannah ignor
ed the sarcasm in her friend’s voice. “I don’t know what to do. If I continue the relationship, I’m certain it’s going to go south. You see, there’s this woman from his past who wants to renew their relationship from years ago. He assures me that they’re only friends, but she’s a great beauty, and I—I need you to meet him.”

  It was a long time before Diann sighed with feeling and answered, “Let me see what I can do.”

  Susannah sighed in return. She identified that tone. Her friend would somehow come through.

  Their conversation carried on for another half hour after Susannah had calmed down. After the call, Susannah lounged in her favorite chair, ruminating over the pros and cons of relationships. She struggled with wanting to see more of Colin, yet she pulled back from him.

  She prayed for guidance and discernment because once again, the same questions haunted her. Could she truly trust a man once more?

  Chapter 16

  Neville, North Yorkshire, England

  2019

  With lunch ordered, April reached into her purse and removed a beautifully bound journal the color of a pale pink rose. There were elaborate swirls of design on the cover stitched in delicate ivory silk threads. Finding it hard to broach the subject, April pushed the journal across the table toward Ryan.

  “What’s this?” He made no move to touch it.

  “I found it among the books at the cottage. It’s your mum’s journal. I felt you should have it.” Timid, April added, “I didn’t read it.”

  His gaze bore a hole through its cover. The stillness was broken by the appearance of the server with their drinks. April gave a polite thank you while Ryan fixedly stared at the table.

  “I appreciate your thoughtfulness, but … I don’t want it.” He hesitated briefly. “As cold as that may sound, it’s too painful. My relationship with my mother was strained at best.”

  It all made sense now—why Ryan seemed to lack details about his mother’s life. “I see,” April spoke gently, watching the drops of water lacing its rim.