Permelia Cottage

by Carole Lehr Johnson

  Chapter 19

  Neville, North Yorkshire, England

  2016

  Weeks later, after the unsettling call to Colin, Susannah wheeled Diann’s luggage into her guest room. “I’ll give you the grand tour in a moment, but first we’ll have tea.”

  “This place is ...” Diann swept into the room and touched the floral curtains and bent to smell the pink and yellow roses in a white vase at the bedside table. “… is simply unbelievable. And I don’t think I’ve seen any place more, well, you.”

  Susannah smiled warmly at her friend, who had flown thousands of miles to talk her through her insecurities. It was ridiculous, but since it brought her best friend to visit, she had no regrets. She led the way to the kitchen, and Diann tossed her purse onto the over-stuffed chair by the fireplace, still taking in every inch.

  Susannah began to arrange their tea items on a tray when Diann leaned on the counter and fixed her with a point-blank stare. “Okay, out with it.”

  “What’re you talking about?” Susannah turned to remove the singing kettle.

  When she returned to the counter, Diann raised her eyebrows and pursed her lips. “You know exactly what I’m talking about—now spill it.”

  “Oh, Diann.” She hadn’t thought the inquisition would commence immediately. They’d have tea and tour the house, catch up and much later, talk about the reason behind the visit.

  “Don’t put me off now. Something big is going on between you and this Colin Heard, and I don’t think I’ve heard the half of it.”

  Susannah moved toward the small kitchen table and pulled out a chair. “Come and sit.” She retrieved the tray of tea items and brought it to the table.

  Diann sat obediently and folded her arms, her expression expectant.

  “All we did was chat about the factory renovations and ideas on planning what types of flats should be built. It was a dinner meeting, and we wouldn’t have been alone if Letice hadn’t backed out.” She paused, hoping this would satisfy her long-time friend. It didn’t.

  “And?”

  “And nothing. We got to know each other a little. That’s all. We’ll all be working together on this committee for a while. I’m new to the village, the church, and the community—it’s only natural he would want to get be better acquainted. After all, I’m the only new person there.” She poured their tea from her favorite pink teapot and fidgeted with all the accompaniments on the tray.

  Diann leaned back in her chair and studied Susannah. “You sounded upset when you called—remember, you begged me to come here?” She laughed, the sound musical to Susannah’s ears, one of her friend’s finest features. Susannah had to smile. Diann was right.

  “Yes, Diann, I’m afraid so. What was I thinking? Not your coming here, but getting to know Colin—it will only end poorly.” Her hand trembled, her cup rattling against the saucer. She took a deep breath and plunged forward with the whole truth. “At dinner, he said he wanted to get to know me better as more than friends.”

  Diann’s face lit up. “Aha, finally. I just had to travel across an ocean and weasel it out of you.” Her grin was triumphant. “Sue, don’t be so quick to dismiss a possible relationship. From what you’ve said, he seems like a nice guy.”

  Sipping her tea, Susannah struggled with how to tell Diann about the phone call. Diann eyed her suspiciously, perhaps seeing the struggle in her eyes. “What else haven’t you told me? I can tell when you’re distracted.” She laid a reassuring hand on Susannah’s arm. That’s all it took for Susannah to hang her head as tears fell onto Diann’s hand.

  Diann’s voice was soothing. “Come on. You can tell me anything.”

  “I called him at Letice’s request about one of the committee members.” Susannah heard the pain in her own voice. Diann passed her a tissue. “A woman answered his phone.”

  “Oh.” The sound of the ticking clock hung in the silence until Diann asked, “Are you sure she wasn’t a secretary or something?”

  Susannah looked at her friend, eyes searching for an answer. “I don’t think so. She was casual. It wasn’t a professional greeting.” She nervously folded and refolded her tissue. “And she called him Colin.”

  ∞∞∞

  Susannah and Diann stepped into Talbot’s foyer the next evening and were immediately greeted by Hodge’s warm brown eyes. “Hello, m’dears, I think someone’s already secured a spot by the window.” He pointed in Letice’s direction, and she waved them over. “Now, Susannah, who’s your charming friend?”

  “My dearest friend, Diann Young.”

  “Brilliant to meet you, my dear. I hope you enjoy your stay in Neville.”

  “Yes, sir. I plan to.” Diann gave him a sincere smile. Susannah recognized the expression—amusement. She had missed her friend and relished their time last night and today discussing Colin, the ministry team, Ryan, and other subjects, catching up on the time they’d been apart. Susannah had called Letice and asked her to meet them at Talbot’s for dinner.

  Hodge led them to a server who seated them and took their drink orders.

  Susannah introduced Diann and Letice, settled in once their drinks arrived, and immediately moved into a conversation about the homeless ministry. They ordered their food, and Diann shared her experience.

  “Diann, you’re a wealth of knowledge,” Letice said, her face animated. “You must come to our next meeting to offer advice. We would be so grateful.”

  “Not sure how much help I’ll be, but I’d be happy to sit in.”

  Susannah chimed in. “You’ll be a big help.” She gave Letice a conspiratorial glance. “We must convince her to reveal the error of our ways.”

  “Yes, we must persuade her indeed.”

  Diann laughed and shook her head.

  Letice furrowed her brow. “Susannah, by the way, did you ever speak with Colin about Vita?”

  Susannah couldn’t meet her eyes. “I tried to reach him but was unsuccessful.” She glanced at Diann and sent a warning look to keep quiet.

  Letice noticed the exchange, her eyes narrowing. “What’s going on, Susannah? Has something happened? Colin actually called me yesterday.”

  Susannah met Letice’s eyes. “Why did he call you?” She stammered. “I mean, that’s none of my business. Sorry. There’s no reason he shouldn’t call you.”

  “He wondered why he couldn’t get in touch with you. He said he saw where you tried to call him, and he’s been trying ever since to return your call. Said he couldn’t even get your voicemail.”

  Susannah looked down. The arrival of their food came to her rescue—for a few seconds. Resolved to clear the air, boldly, she told Letice, “I did try to call him, as you asked. A woman answered, so I dropped the call.”

  Letice’s eyes showed her confusion. “Whatever for?”

  “What?

  “Why would you hang up?”

  “I was, well, I was hurt by the fact he was with another woman. It seemed we were getting on rather well…” Her voice trailed off as her eyes misted.

  “Good grief, Susannah. Colin has business associates all over the globe. Why would you jump to a conclusion like that?” Letice drew a deep breath and let it out slowly. She picked up her fork, but stalled over her plate and muttered, “Sorry, didn’t mean to be cross.”

  Diann plunged in. “Letice, I can answer that if Susannah will allow me.” She looked at her friend with pleading eyes. Susannah nodded.

  “She’s afraid of getting hurt. After all these years, she’s still not over everything with Aaron.” Diann paused. “The phone call brought back all the pain.”

  Letice’s eyes never left Susannah’s. “I’m so ashamed at lashing out like that.” She meekly put down her fork and placed her hand on top of Susannah’s tightly clenched fist. “I’m so sorry, dear. You’ve been in turmoil over this. Had I known you were so crippled by it …” Her voice straggled off.

  Susannah clasped Letice’s hand. “It’s not your fault. I wish I’d been able to express myself more art
iculately when we spoke before.” Holding back her tears, she told herself that she’d cried enough over her past—and perhaps it was time to move on.

  ∞∞∞

  Where is that man?” Letice shook her head. “I do believe he’ll be late for his own funeral.”

  Amanda noted the time and stood, addressing Letice, Susannah, and Diann. “Colin’s not always late. It’s only five after. We’ll get started, and he’ll be along I’m sure.”

  Diann kept glancing at Susannah as if she’d flee the room at any moment. She leaned in and whispered, “Hmm … tardiness. Strike one for the famous—or infamous—Colin Heard.”

  Susannah gave a half-smile and shrugged, her attention drawn by the back-door opening, bringing in a rush of cool night air. It was Colin.

  Diann nudged Susannah with her elbow, jutting her chin toward the back and shot her a question. “That’s him, huh?”

  She nodded and pulled her attention back to the speaker. She wouldn’t think about the man sitting mere rows behind her.

  The meeting droned on, but Susannah hardly paid any attention until Diann was introduced and gave her brief talk. The meeting was adjourned, and warmth on her shoulder yanked her to the present. She looked into Diann’s knowing eyes. “Hey, why don’t we go get something to drink.”

  As she rose, Colin’s familiar gaze met hers over Diann’s shoulder. The soft woodsy scent of his signature cologne met her.

  Diann turned to follow Susannah’s gaze and stepped forward with extended hand. “I’m Diann Young.”

  Colin accepted her handshake and introduced himself. “Pleasure to meet you.” He leaned toward Susannah, his eyes bright. “Good evening. How’ve you been?”

  She tugged on her purse strap. “I’m fine.” She blurted out, “I hope your business trip was successful. It’s nice to see you.” She placed her hand on Diann’s shoulder. “Diann, remember, we must run the errand we spoke of earlier.” She nodded a hasty goodbye to Colin and pulled Diann to the door.

  Susannah didn’t turn back. In fact, she hadn’t looked at Diann, but swiftly walked toward her cottage with Diann trailing behind. She wouldn’t be able to breathe until she entered the cottage.

  “Sue, wait!” Diann called.

  “No, I’m not going back.” Her pace quickened. “I embarrassed myself enough for one evening.”

  Diann rushed to her side and said breathlessly, “What’s wrong with you?” She grabbed Susannah’s shoulder and turned her around. “Why—” She jerked her head back. “—you’re not crying.”

  Susannah shrugged. “What of it?”

  “You tend to cry over nothing, so I thought you’d be wailing by now.”

  Susannah huffed. “I’m going home and forgetting this whole wretched evening. I made a fool of myself because of a handsome man. We’ve only seen each other a few times because he’s always out of town on business. And he hasn’t asked me on an official anything, so why in the world did I assume I meant something to him? That’s what I get for letting my guard down like I did with Aaron—and look where that got me.” Holding her chin high, she ground her teeth, her voice shaking. “I’m done!”

  Diann kept pace with her, mouth open, breathing hard. “I’ve never seen you so … so …”

  “Determined?” Susannah pushed up the sleeves of her sweater.

  “Actually, yes.” Diann’s eyes widened. “I’m not sure I like it. This side of you is a bit scary.”

  Susannah plunged her key into the lock of the cottage door. “Oh? Well, you ain’t seen nothing yet, sister.” She walked through the door, barely missing Diann as she slammed it shut.

  They both threw their purses on the sofa at the same time. Susannah’s bag bounced to the floor, sending its contents scattering in all directions. The absurdity of the moment struck them as their eyes met, and they burst into laughter. Diann wrapped Susannah into a hug only the best of friends could do.

  Diann pulled away, holding her sides while Susannah fell into a chair, her body shaking. “Please excuse me.” She swiped at the tears. “I think I’ve lost it.”

  Another round of laughter hit her. After several minutes, Susannah tried again, “You know me too well. It’s good to laugh again. The old me would be heartbroken.”

  “You had me going there for a while. That’s the most single-minded I’ve ever seen you, except for the decision to move here.” Diann fell into the opposite chair. “And you did it. I admire you.”

  “Thanks for that.” Susannah gave a grateful smile. “How about that tea now since I ruined it for us at the meeting?”

  “Sounds good. But I still don’t understand why you sprinted out of there.”

  Susannah paused on her way to the kitchen. “When I asked about his business trip something in me snapped. Even to my own ears I sounded like some jealous fishwife.” She shook her head. “What must he think of me?”

  She entered the kitchen and put the kettle on. Re-stating the incident brought back the pain. Grasping the edge of the counter, her knuckles turned white. “No, I will not let this eat away at me. I have to move on.”

  Diann leaned against the doorframe with her arms crossed, watching her. “I liked it better when we were laughing.”

  Susannah nodded. “Yes, you’re right. That felt good.”

  “Ok, now that’s over with, I have something to say, and I’d appreciate it if you’d stay quiet and listen ’til I’m through.” Her stare was hard, yet not unkind.

  “I think I’d better sit for this.” She sat at the table.

  Diann joined her. “Yes, I think so because this’ll be hard to take.” She pointed her finger to the front door. “I want you to go over to Colin’s right now.”

  Susannah started to rise, but Diann shoved her down.

  “I’m serious. It’s time you confronted your fear. You never fully confronted Aaron, Ryan, and now this. It’s time to close some emotional doors. Get everything out in the open, and like you just said—move on.”

  “That’s ludicrous. What would I say to him?”

  “Tell him what happened tonight for starters. Also, tell him about your fear. Be honest—brutally honest. He can either take it as it is or stop whatever this is between you two.”

  Susannah toyed with the salt and pepper shakers. “You think so?”

  Diann went to the living room and started retrieving the fallen items from Susannah’s purse. Once done, she tossed the purse to her and snatched up her own. She grabbed Susannah’s forearm and pulled her toward the door. “Come on right now, or I’ll disown you.”

  Susannah started to resist but realized it was no use. She’d gotten herself into this by asking Diann to come thousands of miles to help her. She braced herself and followed her friend down the street toward what she felt would be an emotional disaster.

  Dusk settled in around them as they trudged the sidewalks of Neville, Diann keeping a firm grip on Susannah, urging her onward in silence. Diann marched them right up to Colin’s front door, and Susannah regretted that she’d pointed the house out yesterday. What had she been thinking?

  Diann pounded the brightly polished brass knocker against the heavy wood. “Bet he got it out of some castle,” Diann said indignantly. “This guy better be on the up-and-up with you, or I’ll have something to say about it.”

  Releasing Susannah’s arm, Diann ran behind the nearest tree. Susannah’s mouth dropped. She’d been abandoned.

  She began to turn, but when she stepped back the door opened, light flooding the walkway. A pretty young woman asked, “May I help you.” Her tone was friendly, welcoming even.

  Susannah stammered. “Well, I, um …”

  “Who’s there, Sophie?” Colin called out, growing closer with each word.

  Before Susannah could utter another syllable, he stood in the doorway next to the woman. He met Susannah’s eyes, his face revealing surprise for a moment. He quickly masked it. “Susannah.” Opening the door wide, he waved her inside. “Please, come in.”

  “No …
um, I won’t intrude on your evening as you have company.” She started retreating again.

  He moved forward, gently took her arm, and guided her inside. He nodded toward the woman, who closed the door. “Susannah, this is my cousin, Sophie.”

  “Colin has told me much about you. How you’re helping with the homeless ministry and all. How kind of you to volunteer your time. We’ve been occupied with another project as I work in his Paris office, and he begged me to come home with him to see the progress you’ve made thus far.”

  Susannah felt foolish, standing in the foyer with them, the absurdity of the situation pouring over her like an icy rain. She’d been so rash. Sophie sounded like the woman who’d answered Colin’s phone. In fact, she was certain it had been her—his cousin.

  ∞∞∞

  Colin watched Susannah’s face flush, the same way she’d looked at the meeting an hour ago. He couldn’t for the life of him understand what was going on with her, and it hit him. He remembered the call that he’d missed, the calls he’d made to her with no response.

  “Susannah, I think we need to talk.” He turned to Sophie. “Do you mind, dear?”

  Sophie gazed at each in turn. “No. Why don’t I pop into the kitchen and make some tea?”

  “Splendid idea.” Once again, Colin took Susannah’s arm. “Why don’t we go into my office and take a seat.”

  As Sophie trotted away, Colin and Susannah went into his office. He motioned for her to sit next to him on a small brown leather sofa. As she sank into its supple softness, she clutched her purse to her stomach.

  “Colin, I’m sorry. I honestly don’t know what has gotten into me. I didn’t mean to barge in.”

  “You don’t owe me an apology. I think I understand. It occurred to me that when Sophie answered my mobile a few weeks ago, you got the wrong idea. That’s why you wouldn’t answer my calls.”