by Kishan Paul
She considered the conversation she had with Dad on the deck that the morning. You deserve the sun, he said. After years of tunnel vision, she found herself wanting to feel the warmth of the sun on her skin, to not worry so much about how it might burn her or sting her eyes. After another hesitant pause at the stairs, she descended the back steps toward the darkness of the forest and the path hidden inside.
Her heart raced, her palms wet. The darkness didn’t scare her, but the prospect of what she was considering did. Instead of moving forward, she froze. Someone watched her. Ally glanced behind her, taking in the giant two-story mansion she’d snuck out of. Razaa stood on his second-floor balcony gazing down at her. Her cheeks burned at the realization he knew where she was going and what it meant.
A light turned on in the forest ahead of her, drawing her attention from him toward the thicket. A soft, pale glow lined the narrow pathway among the trees, and she knew it would be lit the entire way to the house. Ally returned her attention to Razaa, unsure of which path was the right one when the phone she clutched vibrated.
“Do what makes you happy.”
The cell next to his bed went off while Eddie was in deep sleep. He grabbed it by the second ring. “Yeah?”
“She’s en route.”
He sat up straight. Shock and adrenaline coursed through him at Raz’s words.
“If you hurt her…”
He climbed out of bed and grabbed a pair of sweats from the dresser. “You should have thought about that before you set all this in motion. If I hurt her or vice versa, you’ll be just as much at fault.” He headed to the bathroom. “Shut down all the devices you planted around the house. Your mother won’t appreciate an audience.” He disconnected the call and stared at himself in the mirror.
From the way his gut had just twisted itself into an impressive figure eight, how the cadence of his heartbeats had shifted from smooth jazz to heavy metal, and his lungs couldn’t seem to get enough air, he was either having a heart attack or scared shitless.
Ally knocked on the door and waited for Eddie to answer. Her mind flittered to thoughts of David. There were no worries of betrayal. She knew in her heart he’d want her to move on, and she was finally ready to try.
Her worries were of a different nature. Regardless of how unkept she might have been, he’d always looked at her as if she was the most beautiful creature he’d ever seen, and under his gaze she believed it true. It had been a long time since she’d felt attractive and an even longer time since she’d been with a man.
Insecurities bubbled from within. As a single parent running an orchard, her self-care consisted of the basics and nothing more. She pressed her hand against her stomach, feeling the seam of the scar that stretched the length of her abdomen. Her souvenir from the surgery she had in Mumbai. Its existence hadn’t bothered her until this moment because no one had seen it. Now she found herself wondering how unattractive it might appear to another.
She took a step back and glanced over her shoulder, and while she reconsidered her decision of coming, the locks on the other side of the door turned. Her heart leapt up her throat as her confidence continued to plummet. When the door opened, Eddie stood on the other side, hair ruffled, in sweatpants and a tee shirt.
He stared at her as if in disbelief she was there. The same disbelief she knew she wore on her face as well.
“Hi,” she whispered.
“Hey.”
An awkward silence filled their space. Ally cleared her throat and pointed at the path behind her. “The lights along the walking trail are beautiful.”
He leaned out, taking in the scene she mentioned. “They are.” He returned his focus to her. “Interesting time of day for a walk, don’t you think?”
Her pulse spiked, and she took another step back. She shouldn’t have come.
Eddie grabbed her hand before she moved any farther. “Sorry, that’s not what I meant.” He rubbed the back of his neck and stepped toward her. “I have a tendency to say stupid things when I’m uncomfortable or nervous.”
Ally tilted her head at his confession. “Which of those are you feeling now?”
His face sobered. “Nervous. I can’t believe you came. I didn’t think you’d—”
His words eased her own fears and made her smile. “Go to the ice cream store?”
“Yeah.”
The huskiness of his deep voice left her breathless. “I didn’t think I would either.”
He moved back, still gripping her hand. “If I promise not to be an asshole, will you come in?”
The feel of his skin against hers, the sound of his own jitteriness calmed her. She wove her fingers through his. “Don’t make promises you can’t keep, Eddie.”
She entered the open living room and scanned the interior while he shut and locked the door behind them. “This is nice.”
A long leather sectional was positioned in the center of the large area with matching armchairs and ottomans surrounding it. When she wandered toward the sofa, he tugged on her hand, pulling her until her back fell flush against his front. Eddie’s cheek pressed against hers.
“Please don’t ask for a tour,” he whispered.
The desire she’d tried unsuccessfully to cool consumed her. She shuttered her lids as the heat of his breath warmed her neck. “Why?”
Eddie’s hands splayed across her stomach. Even through the thick fabric of the sweatshirt she wore, the heat of his touch sent goosebumps pebbling across her skin. “There are other things I’d rather do with you.”
Her breath caught in her throat. “Like?”
His mouth hovered over the side of her neck, his lips brushing her skin when he spoke. “Kiss you.”
Ally leaned into him and rested her hands on top of his. “The first time you kissed me, you stole things from me.”
A cocky smile stretched across his face. “Guilty.” Eddie’s thumbs caressed the back of her wrists. Each brush sent waves of heat deep inside her. “This time I’m only taking what you’re willing to give.”
“It’s been a long time for me.” She stared at the brown leather of the sectional. “The things that happened…with Sayeed.”
Eddie pressed his lips to the bare skin of her neck while he wove his fingers through hers and squeezed. “What you want to happen tonight will happen, and if you say no, we stop. No questions. No arguments.”
She tasted the peppermint toothpaste on his breath when it hit her lips.
“You’re in charge. We move at your pace.”
The proposition and the need she heard in him emboldened her. She turned around to face him. “You are going to let me be in charge?”
His attention remained fixed on her eyes. She knew it wasn’t just her desire he tried to read. He searched for signs of fear, of hesitation. “You’re the boss.”
Ally rested her fingertips along the outside of his pajama-clad thighs; he rewarded her with a sharp intake of breath. His eyes slammed shut and his lips parted as she moved higher. She continued her ascent along the sides of his hips, keenly aware of the impact she had on him.
The fact that the ever-dominant Eddie relinquished his control to her sent a heady mix of power and lust surging through Ally. His gaze transfixed on her actions while hers watched his body’s reaction to her. “You won’t touch me unless I tell you to?”
He nodded his agreement.
When she ran her slender digits along his hands, they flexed and curled into tight fists as if he didn’t trust himself to keep his word.
She continued her conquest, enjoying the rise and dips of his arms and how his biceps flexed under her touch.
Eddie remained rooted to his spot, tracking her ascent. She traced across his shoulders and up his neck, aware he’d stopped breathing.
Ally cupped his chin and lowered his face until his mouth hovered over hers. “Are you sure you can handle giving up control?”
“No,” he choked out.
The corners of her mouth lifted at his confession. She bac
ked out of his heat. His jaw flinched at the distance she placed between them. His hunger for her was evident in the way he tracked her, how his body seemed to wind tighter with each inch of space she placed between them as if it took every ounce of restraint not to pull her back.
He needed her as much as she needed him. The realization quieted the insecurities within, replacing them with a different kind of need: one to conquer and to satiate. She pulled off her sweatshirt, revealing the black tank she wore beneath. Again, the muscle along his jaw twitched.
Ally returned to him, her face inches from his own and ran her thumb along the smooth skin of the lower lip he currently bit. “Touch me, Eddie.”
His palms didn’t reach for her body, instead they caressed her face. The tenderness of his grip, and the realization he would put her needs over his own, overwhelmed her. “Kiss me, Eddie.”
His Adam’s apple bobbed when he swallowed. His gaze oscillated between her eyes and her mouth as he bridged the distance. And when he pressed his lips to hers, the heat of the contact crashed through her body, weakening her knees. She gripped on to him, enjoying the pressure of his mouth. How his chest pressed against hers. The way his hands continued to caress her face. She shifted closer, gluing her hips against his, deepening their connection.
When his arousal stabbed against her hip, Eddie shuddered. The pressure sent a tingle of fear up her spine, and although she didn’t pull away, he did.
Hooded eyes searched her, scanning for signs of fear while silently begging for more. “We don’t need to do this.”
She gazed at the man standing in front of her. A man who risked his life for her. A man willing to accept whatever she gave.
“I’m okay.” Ally dipped her head into the crux of his neck and filled her lungs with the scent of musk and soap. He wrapped his arms around her, crushing her to him.
She noticed the two small scars along his neck. Permanent imprints of her teeth from the last time she’d pressed her lips against the spot. Ally kissed the area, feeling the spike of his pulse under her lips.
Eddie hissed his approval. He ran a hand up her spine to the back of her neck as she bit along the scar. For the first time in an eternity, she believed she could let go and someone would be there to catch her. Ally’s eyes filled at the realization. She gazed up at him. “Take me to your room.”
He slammed his mouth against hers, no longer waiting, now demanding control. While she gave him all she had to offer, Eddie gripped her waist, lifting her off the floor and complying with her request.
When he planted her onto her feet, the back of her thighs hit the mattress to his bed. Eddie grabbed her face, forcing her to look at him. “Promise me you’ll tell me what you want, what you don’t, what feels good, and what doesn’t.”
She tucked her hand under his shirt, exploring the warmth of his skin, and smiled at his intake of breath. “This feels good.”
Eddie pressed his lips to the spot between her brows, shudders ripping through him while her fingers explored the dips and rises of his stomach. “You’re going to kill me.”
A naked Eddie lay in bed, spooning an equally naked Alisha. Her back to his front, he kept a hand pressed against her stomach, keeping her skin flush with his. He had thought their kiss had been exceptional, and now he knew their sex was even better. His arousal tapped against her sexy ass in agreement. Sleep was not an option for him tonight. There wasn’t a single minute he planned on missing.
Questions threatened to ruin his high. Questions he refused to investigate, but one of them screamed for attention. Could she walk away after one night together? The possibility the answer was yes didn’t sit well with him, but it was the deal he made with her. Taste the ice cream and leave whenever either of them was done. Terms meant to persuade her to give them a chance. But now those same terms terrified the shit out of him.
When he had been inside her, he accepted the truth he’d denied for as long as he could. He loved her. A truth he almost screamed during the heat of passion. Fortunately, he swallowed it down while he found his release inside her beautiful flesh.
Eddie traced the scar running the length of her abdomen. He also knew she loved him, just as he knew she wasn’t ready to accept it as truth. Somehow, he needed to convince her that leaving him was definitely the wrong thing to do.
“Does it bother you?”
Her question pulled him out of his thoughts. “Does what bother me?”
“The scar.”
He paused mid-brush against the scar in question. She was so many things to him, but insecure wasn’t one he’d considered, and that was an emotion he never wanted her to feel when at his side. Eddie turned her onto her back and ran kisses up and down the length of the evidence of her pain. “Every inch of you is perfect.”
She played with his hair, her laugh vibrating through the stomach he kissed. “You’re such a liar.”
Her statement made him pause. She was right. He’d lied to her enough times to have earned the title, and he hated himself for it. The things he’d seen, the things he’d done. She deserved so much better. But now that he’d been with her, the thought of letting her walk into the arms of that better man made his stomach twist. He watched her smiling up at him, wanting to be the kind of man she deserved.
“I am a liar about a lot of things.” He kissed up her body as he talked. “No more lies. To you. About you. About anything. You’re beautiful. This scar.” He peppered the mark up her stomach with kisses until he reached her chest. “Your heart. Your body. The scar. This mole.” He pressed his lips against the mole in question. “These little freckles.” His mouth lingered against the light dusting of specks along her collarbone, grinning at the way it made her laugh. “Every single part of you is sexy. And now that I’ve had a taste of your Ice cream, I can’t get enough of you.”
He grinned as she laughed at his choice of words, and then silenced her by kissing the hell out of her perfect mouth.
CHAPTER FIFTY-FOUR
ON NOTICE
(ONE YEAR LATER. INDIA)
This was a bad idea. The sentence Eddie had told himself since they left the hotel that morning. Now here he stood, in front of a black iron fence, staring at the park locked away behind it. Palm trees and green grass filled the little oasis in the bustling city. Children played on the wooden jungle gyms and swing sets while he tried to figure out what to do next.
Vehicles hurried along the busy road behind them. The blaring of their horns such a common sound it became white noise to his ears. A man too focused on his phone to pay attention where he went slammed into him. Eddie shot him a look that the man ignored, continuing on. It was just a normal afternoon in Delhi. What wasn’t normal was the woman who gripped his hand and stood by his side, staring at the greens beyond the black iron.
“Why did you bring me here?” she whispered.
Further supporting his this was a bad idea theory. He shrugged. “I thought it might be good for you.”
She didn’t respond, just continued to gaze into the park, her face unreadable, and it was not sitting well with him. After all this time, he thought he had mastered the art of reading Alisha, but she gave nothing away, worrying the shit out of him. If things didn’t go well here, the next part would be even worse. He shifted his weight and cleared his throat. Just when he was about to ask if he’d messed up, she gave his hand a squeeze.
“You see that tree?” She pointed at a giant shade tree in the far end of the park. Its trunk was so wide the bench situated under it appeared tiny in comparison. Two mothers rested on the seat, enjoying the shade provided by the leaves that covered its branches, while a little girl with a big grin and pigtails chased a chunky boy around the tree.
“There used to be a swing that hung from it. Pappa and another neighbor tied it up.”
The sounds of the cars and people around them disappeared at the sight of a tear sliding down her cheek. Eddie swiped the moisture away with his thumb.
She shook her head. “I don’t hav
e a lot of memories. Mostly foggy images, but one I remember vividly. I had just gotten shots, and I was so mad at Pappa for letting them hurt me that I cried the whole drive home and didn’t speak to him. As soon as he parked, I ran. He found me sitting on the swing. Arms crossed, crying.”
He chuckled at the image of a curly-haired pouty mini-Alisha.
“What I loved most about him was he didn’t get mad.” She looked over at Eddie. “Not even when I ran off like that. Just pushed the swing and talked to me until I stopped crying.”
Eddie twined his fingers through hers and gave her an encouraging squeeze. “What did he say?”
“The same thing he said each time I got hurt. ‘Leesha, Pappa doesn’t like it when you get hurt, but sometimes we have to hurt to get stronger.’” She released his hand and gripped the fence, resting her forehead against the metal. “I can’t believe I forgot.”
“Leesha.” Eddie repeated the name. “I like that.”
“I wish he was here.”
He put an arm around her and pulled her close, kissing the top of her head. “You want to see your old flat?”
Brandy browns stared up at him. “Can we?”
He wasn’t sure if it was the mixture of hope and excitement in her face or the black dust from the fence smudged across her forehead or all of the above, but it made him realize how, in so many ways, she was still the little girl who ran from the car. Anything for the woman I love. Words he couldn’t say for fear she’d run again. He wiped the dirt off her face and hovered his mouth over hers. “Well, it turns out it’s vacant at the moment.”
Her smile was reward enough, but the kiss she planted on him was an even nicer addition. “Thank you.”
“If anyone shows up, we’re married and looking for our forever home.” He tipped his head toward the white complex a few yards to the right of them. “Want to play pretend for a little bit?”
She wound her arm around his, leaning her head on him as they moved down the busy sidewalk. Thankfully, this trip down New Delhi’s memory lane was turning out as he’d hoped. Nervous energy coursed through his veins. Good thing, because the harder part was about to happen.