by Kishan Paul
Ally wandered around the empty apartment she once called home. She ran her hand over the freshly painted white walls. Her sneakers squeaked against the creamy marble tiles on the floor. Once upon a time this space had been her world, and through the eyes of a four-year-old it seemed enormous. She wandered into the room that was once hers. Shaped like a perfect square, it was small, the size of her walk-in closet at home. There was nothing impressive about the room, and yet it was exactly that. Special. Because of the memories it contained—all of which overwhelmed her.
Images of a ponytailed girl running around the bed while her mother chased her to get her into the tub for her evening bath. Her father reading her a story as Mummy dried and combed her damp hair. Images she’d pushed to the furthest recesses of her brain. She positioned herself on the spot her bed once sat, remembering the day she lost her world. In those four years together, her parents gave her all they had, and by doing so made her believe she could conquer the world.
“How’d I do?”
Eddie’s voice pulled her out of her thoughts. He leaned against the wall, arms crossed, watching her. Although he had a cocky grin pasted on his face, she understood him well enough to sense his nervousness, to understand why he brought her to India, to her childhood home. Their time together was coming to an end, and this was his final gift to her. She stood in front of him, wrapped her arms around his waist, and kissed his cheek.
“You did well. Thank you.”
What was supposed to be one night of tasting the ice cream had turned into once-a-month three-day-weekend escapes for the past year. The amount of time he and the team were stationed in the Galapagos Islands for tactical training. She used Razaa and the confidentiality of his job as her excuse for meeting him. Which was also true. Those weekends weren’t only spent with Eddie. They were spent with her sons as well. All of which brought her joy. A happiness everyone, including her family, could see.
Now, with the training ending, so were their ice cream adventures. Eddie and the team would return to their overseas missions. It was why she said yes to the India trip. Sharing this excursion would make their goodbye at the end of the week easier. And bringing her the home she shared with her birth parents was the most beautiful gift he’d ever given her.
Her face pressed against his heart, his arms held her close, and she savored their connection. “Did I say thank you?”
“Just every other word. But no, not enough.” His laugh rumbled through his chest. The feel of it against her cheek made her smile widen.
“Asshole,” she mumbled.
Her insult elicited another rumble in his chest. He shifted his weight, moving her off him. “I have something for you.”
He shoved his hand in his pocket. Ally’s joy faded the instant she glimpsed the black velvet box in his palm.
Eddie’s heart thrummed to a fast-paced beat in his chest. He had a very good hunch how this would go. Which was why he played it the way he did. His hope was that maybe a grateful Alisha wouldn’t run as fast.
She stepped back, her gaze not leaving the box in his hand as if it contained an infectious disease that would kill her if she touched it. “What are you doing?”
He knew he’d see the fear in her face, but it still stung. “It’s a present.”
“Eddie.” Her eyes shifted from him and the box as she took another step back. “I can’t.”
He stayed in his spot, allowing her to move farther away from him, refusing his body’s need to go to her. “Aren’t you supposed to open it before you say no?”
“It won’t change my answer. This wasn’t what we discussed. This can’t—”
He interrupted her before she finished rejecting him. “More the reason to open it first.” He moved to her, lifted her hand, and slid the box into it. “Please.”
Her chest rose as she filled her lungs with air. She hovered her fingers over it before finally flipping the lid open.
Now it was Eddie who held his breath.
Her head bent low, her hair covered her face, making her reaction unreadable. “I don’t understand.”
He gripped the wrist that held the empty black velvet. “One day, I plan to give you this same box but with a ring in it.”
Her attention fixed on him, but he still couldn’t read her expression. She’d shoved her feelings down and erected a wall of self-preservation. “Eddie.”
“Before you say anything, let me talk.” He reminded himself he knew her better than she knew herself, but even then, his own insecurities were wreaking havoc within him. Fear he was wrong. That he wouldn’t be able to convince her. Fear she’d deem him not good enough. “You made it clear, you don’t want to bury another husband.” Heat crept up his neck, making its way to his cheeks. “I don’t want that for you either. Up until you, I never saw myself settling down or getting old.” His voice cracked. “Now I do, but the vision of an old me includes you.” Talking feelings wasn’t his thing. It never had been, but the only chance he had in making the vision a reality was to do just that.
“I won’t spend the rest of my life wondering if you’re dead or alive. Waiting for the call that might come. I know it’s selfish, but—”
“It’s the truth.”
She nodded.
“And I don’t want that for you either. Which is why I will spend the next year with the team, working the assignments, grooming Raz, preparing them to work without me.”
He ignored how her head shook in disapproval and continued. “I won’t abandon them. They are good at what they do, and I will still be there virtually guiding them from the offices at Cannon Beach. It won’t be a hard transition.”
“They need you.”
“They don’t need me.” He raised his palm as soon as she tried to cut him off. “I wouldn’t even be considering this if I thought they couldn’t handle it. They’re smarter than I ever was at their age. Razaa’s smarter than all of us combined. He’s already a better leader than I am, and they trust him.”
Eddie took a breath and continued. “This is not a question for you to give yes or no to. It’s an ‘I’m putting you on notice’ statement. I swore to you I would be honest, and this is me trying to keep my promise. When we started this, it was about tasting the ice cream. I knew when I made that proposal, I wouldn’t ever be happy with a taste. That I’d want more, and I was right. Once a month isn’t cutting it. I want all your days.” He leaned in, pressing his lips to her forehead. “And every night in your bed. I want to be a part of Little Bear’s life, not sitting on the sidelines hearing about him and seeing him in pictures.” He shut the box in her hand and took it from her. “Then, once you believe I’m not going anywhere, I want to put a ring in here and give it back to you and hope to God you’ll wear it.”
“I wasn’t expecting this. I’m not even sure what I’m supposed to say.”
“Nothing, yet.” He stuffed the velvet in his pocket and kissed her cheek, relieved she didn’t pull away. “I have things to tie up before you need to say anything.”
“I can’t handle—”
He kissed her, silencing her refusal. “Being here in this house is proof you can. You started this journey in this house. Your life changed in ways no one expected the day your parents died. And then again so many times over. I’ve been around to see some of that.” Her words from the park echoed in his ear. “Your father was right, sometimes you have to hurt to be strong. It’s probably why you are the strongest person I’ve ever met.” He cupped her chin, forcing her to see his truth. “I love you, and even though you haven’t said it, I know you love me too.”
She didn’t reply. He knew she wouldn’t. That word meant forever for her, something she wasn’t ready to believe he could give her. He pulled her into a hug. “I know you’re scared, but I need you to trust me. I won’t be the reason you hurt. I will come back. I have too much to live for not to.”
EPILOGUE
Ally gripped the skirt of her dress, hitching it up above her ankles as she made her way down th
e grassy fields of her orchard. To protect her cream-colored shoes from the dirt and mud of the field, she slipped them off and walked barefoot. The thin leather straps of the expensive leather heels hung from her wrist. She cut through the rows of apple trees, her destination in the distance.
She approached her goal, a smile on her face as she admired the two tombstones she’d come to visit. Positioned on top of a small hill, the looming mountains in the distance was their backdrop. She considered the jagged edges and white capped peaks as guards protecting the graves of the men she’d lost. But lately she’d begun to look at those mountains with new eyes, seeing life’s message in them.
She admired Mt. Rainier. It wasn’t smooth or polished. Instead, battered and scarred, the jagged cliffs and cracks along the mountain visible for the world to admire. In spite of it all, it stood tall, towering over the world, a testament to its survival. Proof that even in nature, beautiful things were born from pain, from change. That once upon a time, parts of the world crashed together, fracturing and forever altering the very ground where she stood. And as devastating as it must have been, something powerful emerged as a result.
Ally felt a connection to those mountains. Like them, her cuts were deep. There were so many things she’d fought for and failed. Her weaknesses and strengths were all challenged, sometimes at the same time. Life had forced her to climb the steepest and tallest of the peaks without equipment or preparation. The rough terrain shredded her skin, and each time she thought she’d made it higher up the steep slope, she found herself slipping and ripped apart in ways she never thought possible.
When she thought she couldn’t climb any farther, when the physical and emotional exhaustion made the very act of breathing feel like she’d shatter into a thousand pieces, and she considered letting go and allowing herself to fall, a force deep inside pushed her forward.
She squatted in front of David’s tombstone and ran a hand over his name etched in the smooth marble. After visiting him in Philadelphia, she decided he didn’t belong up there, lost among the monuments. So, she brought him home with her and his family where he belonged.
“You will always be my driving force. My everything.” She pressed her forehead against the marble. “Thank you for loving me.”
The faint scent of cedar and sandalwood surrounded her. A breeze brushed against the back of her neck. Ally smiled, savoring him.
After a long while, she moved away from the first stone and positioned herself on the second grave. This loss was still raw. Her eyes watered. She ran her hand over the name etched across the stone.
“You were supposed to be here,” she whispered. Ally brushed the tear slipping from her eye. “But I’m doing what you said and savoring the sun.” She kissed the tombstone and rose to her feet, imagining David and his father standing together watching down on her.
Eddie wasn’t nervous, although he probably should have been. He stood in the distance, giving Alisha her privacy. When she turned in his direction, it was clear she was oblivious to his presence from the way her eyes widened.
His breath caught in his throat at the sight of her. Her hair piled on top of her head, curls caressed the sides of her face. A simple necklace hugged around the base of her long neck. A neck that appeared even longer because of the deep neckline of her gown. It was a simple dress. Cream with no frills or pearls, the sleeveless dress was so long she had to hike up the skirt to keep it from getting stained on the grass. She looked every bit the part of the beautiful queen who’d stolen his heart.
She walked to him, stopping when they were face-to-face. Eddie reached over and pretended to brush something off her cheek just so he could touch her. “You ready?”
“I think I am.”
While she fixed his bowtie, he took the opportunity to kiss the bare skin at the crux of her neck. “Think hard on that because there are no returns or exchanges once we do this.”
She took a step back, one of her perfectly arched brows rose. “Mr. Ghani, are you having second thoughts about today?”
Eddie pulled on the spring-like curl hanging by her cheek. “I’m standing in a field, wearing a tuxedo, a cummerbund, and black patent leather shoes. I will either get married today or begin an exciting career as a male stripper.”
This time both her brows rose. “No reason you can’t do both.” She leaned in and kissed his cheek. “I love you.”
Words he would never tire of hearing her say. Eddie watched her move down the trail. He continued to track her until she disappeared past the trees. The nerves he thought he didn’t have were now creeping up his spine. He sucked in a breath and headed toward the person he came to visit.
He stood at the foot of the grave, rocking on the back of his shoes and considering the life of the man whose body lay beneath him. Memories of Germany, after Alisha’s escape from Sayeed, floated into his head. Back then, David fought like hell to keep the woman he loved from pushing him away. Although he’d never said as much, Eddie knew the poor guy had been scared shitless she would leave him for another man, a man like Eddie.
He tugged at the edge of his tie. “I guess you were right to be jealous of me.” Knowing what his reply would have been, he shrugged and uttered it out loud. “Granted, if you hadn’t died, I wouldn’t have been an option.” His face warmed at the truth to his words.
“You’ve left me big shoes to fill.” Eddie swallowed the emotion creeping up his throat. “I will do right by her and by you.” He glanced at David’s father’s grave. “By both of you.”
After a final nod, Eddie began his trek back to the venue a few hundred yards away so he could fulfill the promise he’d made.
A spin off to this series is in the works. If you would like to read more about these characters, stalk me at:
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SPECIAL CUT SCENE FROM THE DEADLY MATCH
If you scan the cover of The Deadly Match, you will see a woman in red with her back to you. It is one of my favorite scenes from The Deadly Match. Unfortunately, it is also a scene that was cut from the story but I loved it so much that I didn't want it to disappear. I loved it because one of my favorite characters from the series makes an appearance. This chapter would have occurred directly after Ally's escape from the jewelry store and before she wakes up at the hospital.
If you would like to read it, go to the link below and enjoy!
~Kish
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ALSO BY KISHAN PAUL
The Second Wife Series
The Second Wife: Book 1
The Widow’s Keeper: Book 2
The Deadly Match: Book 3
Blind Love
Taking the Plunge
Stolen Hearts
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
From daring escapes by tough women to chivalrous men swooping in to save the day, the creativity switch to Kishan Paul's brain is always in the 'on' position. If daydreaming stories were a college course, Kish would graduate with honors.
Mother of two beautiful children, she has been married to her best friend for over 20 years. With the help of supportive family and friends, she balances her family, a thriving counseling practice, and writing without sinking into insanity.