by Emily Camp
Bailey reached for Bree and as she went from his hip to hers, Garrett said, “Bree …”
“Why her?” Bree wasn’t sure if it would have hurt any less if it had been someone else, they hadn’t even been broken up for a weekend.
He tucked his phone in the front pocket of his button up, where it’d fallen out a few minutes ago. “I’m helping her with homework.”
Bree’s chest heaved. It took at least a minute before she could speak again. “You sound like a cheating husband.”
“But I’m not your husband, and I’m not cheating. I don’t like her like that.” He shook his head.
There was a tug on her elbow, but she ignored it, staring right ahead at Garrett. “Tell me what kind of friend she is then, when she hates me, and she hates Bailey.”
“She doesn’t hate you guys. She loves Bailey, and Bailey loves her.”
Bree’s arm tightened around her baby when she heard this. “You’ve had her around Bailey?” The words barely escaped her as if she’d had the wind knocked out of her.
“She went to church today. Isn’t that’s what it’s about? You know, getting people saved.”
“Church?” Bree bit her lip. She wasn’t going to cry.
Paige had every right to go to church, and if she did change her life, it would be a good thing, but Bree couldn’t help but feel she was being replaced. Another tug on her elbow. “Hold on, Bry.”
Garrett’s blue eyes glared at her. “Nate and Lexi asked how you’ve been, least you could do is call them and tell them you’re okay. They did take you in when no one else would.”
A jab at her heart. She blinked away the tears. They haven’t moved yet, but they were moving soon.
“Bree.” Bryson tugged again.
“Would you just hold on a second?” That came out louder than Bree intended. Shocking not only the others in the room, but herself. Bailey cried. Bryson stuck his lip out and stomped to the sofa, his good arm crossed over his sling.
Bree tried to soothe Bailey, bouncing and holding her head against her shoulder. Garrett reached out, but Bree jerked away. Bailey’s arms jutted out for her daddy.
“She wants to come to me.”
“Just leave.” She shouted over the crying.
Garrett’s jaw jumped before he ran his hands over his face. “You aren’t going to calm her down if you aren’t calm.”
“I know, you’re the good parent.” Bree hated how juvenile she sounded.
Garrett held his arms out, his eyes wide. “I didn’t say that.”
“It’s okay, Bails,” Bree whispered to her, kissing the top of her warm head.
“Bree,” he huffed.
“Garrett,” she snapped, just as the door behind him slammed shut.
She whipped her head around to see nothing where Bryson was sitting a few seconds ago. “Bryson.” She hurried to the door, pushing Garrett out of the way.
“Dadada.” Bailey reached over her shoulder, but Bree held on tight.
“Bree.” Garrett’s voice came from behind her, but felt distant as she barreled out the rickety storm door. She looked one way then the other. Bryson ran barefoot down the sidewalk.
Her heart thundered in her chest. What was she going to do? She couldn’t catch up with him with Bailey. Before she could turn, before she could pass the baby, Garrett flew by her, gaining on Bryson before he had a chance to get out of sight. He flung him over his shoulder.
“Let me go!” Bryson’s good limbs pounding on Garrett like he was kidnapping him. Garrett wasn’t even out of breath when he got back to Bree, sitting a teary-eyed Bryson in front of her.
Bailey lunged toward Garrett. Bree let her go. She stooped down to Bryson’s level.
“Don’t do that again.” Bree gripped his shoulders.
He sniffed and wiped his nose with the back of his hand, looking down at the ground. Bree pulled him into a hug. He squirmed at first then relaxed in her embrace.
“I’m sorry, bub.” She leaned back, running her hand over his shaggy hair. “I didn’t mean to yell at you. I promise.” The guilt swelled in her, thinking of everyone else who always shouted at him: Maggie, their mom, his dad whenever he felt it convenient to show up, all mom’s boyfriends. The last thing Bryson needed was someone else to add to it. When he didn’t move to look at her she spoke again, “Do you forgive me?”
He nodded slightly. If she wasn’t looking close enough she’d have missed it.
“I can take her back home with me if you need …” Garrett held Bailey against his chest.
“No.” Bree snapped up, level with Garrett now. “It’s my night. I want her.”
“I’m just trying to help.” He patted Bailey on the back. She now lay her head content against his chest, her little fist curled and her blue eyes blinking.
“I’m fine. I can take care of her.”
Garrett frowned, turning his face down toward Bailey then back up at Bree. He was clean cut today. His face smooth with no stubble. Still wearing his church clothes, nice jeans and a button up. “I’m worried about you.” His voice was soft.
“Worry about Paige.” The words were out of her mouth before she could stop herself.
“I’m not in love with Paige.” He passed Bailey to Bree.
“You don’t have to explain. We’re not together, right?” Bree coddled Bailey. “C’mon, Bry.” She shuffled back toward the house. “I’ll see you tomorrow, Gare.” The hole in her chest grew bigger, as the door slammed shut behind her.
Chapter Fifteen
Parker and Carly leaned over math homework. Parker’s knees crammed between the coffee table and sofa. He spoke slow and methodical, his hand making quick short jots on the notebook paper. Bree couldn’t hear, not over the strong wails of Bailey in her arms. She rocked back and forth.
Parker stopped, yellow number two pencil suspended from his left hand, looked up and said, “Is she okay?”
“I’m sorry. I don’t know.” Bree settled into the sofa, trying to comfort Bailey, shoving the bottle in her mouth. After taking a short sip, jerked her head to the side and started all over again.
“Bailey-Whaley.” Parker dropped the pencil in the crease of the book and turned to Bree, holding out his hands.
The physical weight lifted from Bree, she wished the metaphorical weight would go with it.
Parker stood up, Bailey now cradled in his arms, talking in a squeaky voice. Her cries settled to a small hiccup. Bree held her breath, waiting for the coo that sometimes came after. But instead of the happy noise, the cries came out again, only this time louder, as if she gained momentum with her small pause.
“Aww,” Carly stood up, leaning over Parker’s shoulder, she placed a hand on Bailey’s forehead.
Bree knew she should be up. She should be trying to get her baby to quit crying as well. There were times she gave up the fight, like no matter what she did it was never good enough. Not for Bailey, not for Maggie or Bryson, not for Garrett, not for her mom and definitely not for her dad.
“She feels a little warm.” Carly held her hand to Bailey’s forehead.
“Do you think she’s fevered? Maybe it’s from all the crying?” Her five second breather gone, Bree hurried to them. “Do you have a thermometer?”
“Sorry, this apartment isn’t equipped with that.”
Bree held her hands to her forehead, breathe. She could do this. “Maybe I should take her home.”
On cue, Bailey let out a phlegmy cough, then another and another until Bree’s heart almost quit. She’d felt horrible for thinking of giving up.
Parker placed Bailey over his shoulder, patting and rubbing her back as the coughing subsided, followed by the cries that not only pierced Bree’s ears, but also her heart.
She reached out, pulling Bailey from Parker, wrapping her arms around her tiny, warm body, pulling her against her chest.
“You’re right, Carly, she might be fevered.” In Bree’s arms earlier, she’d held her for so long, she didn’t notice a difference. No
w it was obvious.
Parker ran his hand through his hair. “I can run out and grab a thermometer.”
At first Bree looked at him wide eyed, thinking, don’t leave me alone, but instead she said, “I’ll pay you back.”
At this, his forehead wrinkled, his keys hanging from his hand. “I’ve got it.”
“Park …”
“I’ll be back.” Before she could protest, he was out the door.
“I’m here,” Carly said as if she could read her mind. Thank God she had a friend like her. “Maybe we could try a cold washrag?” Carly nibbled on her lip.
“I don’t know.” Bree bounced, bringing no comfort to her ill, crying infant. Bailey’s soft skin dripping with sweat.
“At least we can try.” Carly dashed to the sink.
At home, sometimes, when Bailey wouldn’t stop crying, Bree would pull her snug against her chest and cry along with her. To do that in front of Carly would make her look like a failure. Instead, she pressed her lips between her teeth.
“There.” Carly placed the cool cloth against Bailey, the thing bigger than her entire head. “I remember my mom doing this when I was sick.”
Bree couldn’t remember her mom doing anything for her, let alone take care of her when she was ill. Her dad just medicated her and went on his way. Neither one wanted to be bothered by it.
The self-pity only rose once in a while, when Robin would cook Garrett’s favorite meal, or the fact that he always had clean clothes or even that she watched Bailey everyday while they were in school. Why didn’t her mom care enough to do those things? Then her dad, as soon as he found out she was pregnant, tossed her out like used piece of furniture. Despite the disappointment in him, Garrett’s dad didn’t throw him out. He helped him. She could sit and think about how unfair her life was all day, but she didn’t have time for that, now she needed to focus on her baby.
Like everything else, Carly’s solution lasted just a couple seconds.
“We tried.” Carly pulled the rag away, and backed up, lowering herself in Parker’s recliner, pulling out her phone, “Let’s see what Google has to say.”
Screaming, Bailey’s fist jerked to her mouth.
The door swung open with a thud against the wall and slammed shut again. Parker dashed in, a crinkly white baggie hanging from his hand. To her surprise, his brother Spencer behind him.
Spencer strolled in, his hands in his pockets as if he didn’t have a care in the world. His dirty blond hair styled in a point.
“I got baby medicine, vapor stuff, chicken soup and a little baby forehead thermometer.” Parker sat the loot on the kitchen counter.
Spencer nodded a hello toward Carly. He stood a few inches taller than Parker and his eyes traveled toward Bree. The whole lower half of his face could only be described as chiseled. To Bree, he looked like he belonged in movies or magazine ads.
“What are you doing here?” Carly glared at Spencer as she strolled toward Parker.
“Good to see you, too.” Spencer cocked a crooked smile toward Carly.
“Don’t look at my girlfriend,” Parker grumbled. The can twisted in his hand.
“I told you that wasn’t going to happen again. She’s going to be my sis-in-law one of these days.” Spencer inched further into the room, planting himself on the sofa as if he owned the place, kicking his feet up on the coffee table, next to their forgotten math homework, still splayed open like they were taking a short break.
“She can’t eat chicken soup.” Bree tried to hide the fact she was blushing, looking down at Bailey who was just now settling down. Her eyelids slipping down slower and slower. Maybe she finally wore herself out.
“We can give her the broth.” Parker cranked the can opener.
“Aren’t you supposed to be at school?” Carly’s voice muffled as she ripped open a package with her teeth. The little piece of plastic flew out and hit the floor.
Spencer sighed, placing his hands behind his head. “College is worse than high school.”
“Okay.” Carly, with the instrument in hand, placed the small strip to Bailey’s pink head.
“One hundred point one.” Carly blinked up at Bree. “That’s high right?”
“I think so.” She looked at Parker for help.
“The medicine I got said it’s supposed to reduce fevers.” Parker tipped the can, holding the lid on, only the juice spilled in a mug.
Carly grumbled to the little white box as she tried to pry it open. “Why can’t these be easier to get into?”
Parker popped the broth in the microwave. “It’s called childproof.”
“How much does she weigh?” Carly held the red medicine up after glaring at Parker.
“Twenty, maybe?” Bree kissed the now quiet Bailey on her warm forehead. It’d been a month since Bailey’s last checkup. Why didn’t she weigh her regularly? Is that what most parents did? How else did they know how much medicine to give?
Carly studied the label then squeezed the tiny dropper, before inserting it in Bailey’s mouth. The medicine made Bailey wake with a jerk. The silence was replaced with her desperate cries. Bree immediately began to whisper a soft “shhh” and bounced as she paced around the room.
“I’m so sorry.” Carly twisted the dropper back on the bottle.
“We want her to feel better.” Bree shouted over the cries.
“Wow, that girl’s got a set of lungs.” Spencer rubbed his hand over his ear.
“Don’t they all?” Parker ducked under Carly’s swinging hand. “Careful, I’ve got grub for the little one.” He held up the navy mug.
“You deserve it.” Bree continued to bounce her screaming infant. Only then did it occur to her, maybe she should call Garrett.
Parker sat the mug on the coffee table and turned toward Bree with outstretched arms as if he could calm her. It was one of the many things that made him the best big brother ever. He’d been wrestling with Bailey for the last few hours and instead of wanting to run off or hurry up and drive Bree and her little noise maker home, he was ready to take care of them both. It was different, letting her brother take care of her rather than depending on her boyfriend.
Bree’s arms were lighter and significantly cooler when Bailey transferred to her Uncle Parker’s arms. He talked in a soft whisper, so low Bree couldn’t understand him. Bailey blinked up at him, her cries silent and blue eyes content on her uncle.
Retrieving her phone from her pocket, she held it up toward Carly, who lowered herself in front of Parker, Bailey cradled on his lap in the recliner.
“Dude, who knew you were the baby whisperer?” Spencer’s voice was loud, startling Bailey. Then the cries began again.
Carly’s head whipped around. “Are you serious? What are you even doing here?” She shouted over the screams.
“I’m going to call Garrett.” Bree shouted toward Parker.
He nodded placing Bailey against his shoulder and patting her back. She slipped out of the apartment, the cries muffled by the door. Her heart broke at the sound, but she knew Bailey was in good hands for the few seconds she needed.
The night air was cooler than it had been earlier, the sky darker and the breeze swifter. She held one arm across her, as if that would block out the wind, while she swiped Garrett’s name and held her cell to her ear.
The line rang on the other end, she didn’t know why she’d expect him to answer right away. With a second ring she began to pace, back and forth on the concrete. A third ring her heart sped. Why wasn’t he answering? She hated feeling like she was being ignored, because if she was being rational then she’d give him time to get back to her. He could be in the shower or eating dinner. He wasn’t allowed to have his phone at the table.
As soon as the beep sounded, she opened her mouth, but caught herself. She didn’t want to sound like she was about ready to burst into tears, which was absolutely how she felt. Knowing that talking coherently was not an option, she ended the call and opted to text.
Please call me.
She typed, sent, and hesitated before adding. It’s about Bailey. Why did she think he wouldn’t call her unless it was Bailey? A fog floated in front of her as she blew out a breath. She turned, going back into the apartment.
Bailey sat on Parker’s lap. Carly perched on the coffee table in front of them, leaning forward and spooning her the chicken broth. Spencer’s mouth was running on, something about how bad he hated school again and his dad and him getting into it. But Bree knew Spencer’s dad, the one who raised Parker, and she knew he was good to them. Sometimes it was frustrating to see others with good parents fight with them. Her mother hadn’t even called to see where she was. If Garrett didn’t come home when expected, Robin always called to see if he was okay. This irritated Garrett.
Bree looked down at her phone at the thought of Garrett. Just glancing at the time made her tired. “I should probably get home.” Not like it’d be any different there. Bailey would scream, Mindy would complain, Maggie glare up from her phone, and Bryson would be bouncing off the walls, but that was home now. Even if it was complete chaos. And the thought of going made the urge to cry even stronger.
“You can’t take her to Mindy’s like this.” Carly bit her lip though she was speaking to Bree, she stared at Parker. Bree knew with the congestion, the last thing Bailey needed was to be around cigarette smoke, but if Garrett wasn’t calling back, what other choice did she have. It wasn’t like she’d leave her at Garrett’s anyway. Bree needed to be there for her. She was the mom, and she was determined to be nothing like hers.
“Stay here.” Parker bounced Bailey on his knee, his large hands wrapped around her round belly.
“Parker,” Bree looked down at her phone again. “You need your sleep, too.”
He looked around the room, first at Carly, then Spencer. “Who’s up for a round-the-clock-keep-Bailey-content night?”
“Yeah.” Carly didn’t hesitate, turning toward Bree. The chicken broth still cradled in her hands.
“I’m in.” Spencer held his hands up palms out. Bree wasn’t sure what to think of that.