Running On Empty

by Emily Camp

  Now, a little over a year later, she didn’t even know if she had feelings for him anymore.

  She felt him behind her. His palms were warm through her shirt, touching her elbows on either side.

  “It’s going to be okay,” he whispered. She wanted to believe him, but it wasn’t okay. Where was she going to go now? The house she lived in wasn’t the greatest, but Bree was the one who’d found it for them. Was it wrong for her not to want Lloyd in it?

  Without thinking, Bree leaned back against Garrett. He slipped his arms around her waist. She stood, staring at the lake, wishing she could sail away. It wasn’t the ocean, but you couldn’t see land on the other side. If she climbed on a boat and never looked back, she’d be far enough. Garrett’s arms were too familiar and comforting that she almost forgot they weren’t together.

  A flock of what seemed to be thousands of birds flew in and out of formations high above the water as if they’d rehearsed the show. Garrett kissed the side of her head, and his arms tightened her against him.

  “Gare,” she whispered, lifting a shoulder.

  “I miss this.” His voice hitched. “It feels like my world isn’t falling apart when I’m holding you.”

  “How’s your world falling apart? You have parents who love you. You have football and possible scholarships. Teachers don’t look at you like you don’t have a future.” She pulled out of his grasp.

  “None of that matters without you and Bailey.”

  Bree blinked away the tears, the hollowness in her chest expanded. “You have Bailey. You know I’d never put our relationship between you and her.”

  “I know.” He lifted his hand. “But it’s not the same without you. Every time something happens to me, good or bad, or just funny, you’re the first person I want to tell. I go for my phone and realize you don’t want to talk to me.”

  Bree held her lips between her teeth.

  He sighed, looking up at the noisy birds performing he rubbed the back of his neck. “It hurts.”

  She swallowed the lump gaining in size as he spoke.

  “Every time I look at Bailey, I see you and I think about you. I’m scared something is going to happen to you and her. I know you can handle yourself, but you saw today that you can’t trust your mother. Lloyd is creepy. Do you really want Bailey around him? I don’t even want you around him.”

  Bree turned away, blinking her eyes like crazy. Why couldn’t she get this under control? Maybe she could blame the tears on the wind, or getting sand in her eyes.

  “C’mon, Bree, say something.” His soft deep voice was even harder to hear not looking at him.

  “We …” she choked out, one arm now across her body. “A lot’s happened.”

  “I know, but we’ve made it through worse.”

  She closed her eyes, even hating to bring it up. “Paige?”

  He let out a sharp breath. “I’ve told you, she’s just a friend, but if you want, I’ll never talk to her again.”

  “Wrong answer.” She spoke low, turning to face him.

  He blinked at her, his blue eyes even more crystal with the water reflecting them. “What is the right answer?”

  “That you won’t talk to her because you don’t want to, not because I don’t want you to.”

  Garrett was silent.

  Bree kicked the sand. “I’m sorry.”

  Garrett’s shadow inched closer, then she felt his arms around her. “Me too.”

  Bree felt safe. It was if no matter what happened, if she was with Garrett things were going to be okay. But she knew better than that. Once she left his embrace, her body would be cold and alone and everything would still be the same. She’d still be living with her mother, who was bringing the creep into their home. She would still be worried about Bryson eating well and staying out of trouble. She’d still worry about Maggie getting with the wrong guy, Jake. She’d still worry that Garrett would leave her, just like her dad did.

  Garrett’s lips were warm against her temple, his grip solid around her shoulders. “It’s going to be okay, I promise.”

  And though she knew that wasn’t a promise he could make, she was too tired to argue. She nodded into his chest. He smelled like a mixture of cologne and baby powder and felt like home. “Let’s get back to Bailey.”

  He didn’t move at first. The birds caws growing faint as they continued their journey south, the sun shining brighter above them. “Are we good?”

  Bree let out a small breath. “Good like how?”

  He pulled away just far enough to look her in the eyes. “Good like we were before you moved.”

  Bree glanced away, shaking the hair out of her face as it blew with the breeze. “I don’t know. Maybe we can be good like we agree to be friends for now.”

  She felt Garrett’s entire body droop with his huff. His thumb began moving back and forth on her shoulder, making her want to change her mind, but she was the one in this relationship that thought logically and logically they were young.

  “I love you, Bree, and I’ll never stop, but if friends is all you can give me right now, I’m okay with that.”

  Bree started to open her mouth and tell him he better be fine with that, instead she nodded.

  For a second when his eyes met hers and his face started to come toward her, she thought he was going to kiss her. But when he did, it was on the forehead, which made it worse.

  Forehead kisses meant something.

  Chapter Eighteen

  The television blared, echoing through the small house. On the sofa, Mindy snored, sprawled out with her wine bottle propped on the ground beside her. There wasn’t a trace of Lloyd being there. She’d stayed at the Light’s until after dinner. Bailey stayed for the night. Now Bree was home after over twenty-four hours, it was as if no one had even missed her. She shuffled through the room, dodging soda cans, papers, and Legos on her way. Normally, she’d at least take the time to pick up, but right now, all she wanted was sleep.

  As soon as Bree flung open her bedroom door, a shriek came out of Maggie. Jake’s head and bare shoulders stuck out of the covers.

  “Ohmigod.” Bree shielded her eyes with her forearm. “What are you doing?”

  “Shut the door,” Maggie shouted.

  “Get out, Jake.” Bree kept her eyes covered.

  “Jake, you don’t have to, she’s not my mom,” Maggie whined as Bree braved opening her eyes. Thankfully Jake wasn’t naked. He shrugged his jeans over his bright neon boxer briefs, his face flush.

  Maggie held the covers over her chest, a pink bra strap slipped off her shoulder.

  Jake looked from Bree to Maggie. “See you at school tomorrow?”

  “Jake …” Maggie pouted, sticking her lip out and batting her lashes just like Mindy in seduction mode.

  “Getting late anyway.” He pulled his white tee shirt over his head. Bree glared as he pushed by her. “See ya,” he nodded.

  Bree didn’t respond.

  “What are you doing, Maggie?” Bree scolded as Jake hurried away.

  “Mom!” Maggie slipped into an oversized Raider’s tee-shirt that Bree recognized as Garrett’s before storming out of the room.

  Bree followed with her hands in fists at her sides. “You wanna tattle? How about you stop wearing my clothes.”

  “This isn’t your shirt.” Maggie pinched at the Raider’s logo.

  “It’s Garrett’s. Take it off.” Bree pulled at the sleeve.

  “You’re a bi-” Maggie snapped.

  “You want to end up with a baby, too?” Bree shouted, her heart hammered in her chest.

  “You aren’t my mom!” She swung her fist in the air.

  “Get used and tossed away?” Bree ducked away from Maggie’s soaring hand.

  Just as she righted herself, her head jerked back with a stabbing pain at her skull. Maggie had a handful of her hair.

  Bree smacked at her, open handed. Maggie cussed as she dug her fingernails in Bree’s arm.

  “Girls!” Mindy shouted, a
s she peeled them apart, a hand on each one. “What in the …” She sneered at them both with blood shot eyes, blinking slowly, her mascara smeared on her cheekbone.

  Bree and Maggie began to shout, explaining what happened at the same time, their words jumbled into one another, impossible to understand.

  “One at a time,” Mindy slurred as she held her hand to her forehead.

  “Maggie was having sex with her boyfriend in my room.” Bree pointed at her. “And she’s wearing my shirt.”

  “Bree just barged in and kicked him out, and this isn’t her shirt.”

  Mindy sighed, “I need a cigarette.” She shuffled back to the sofa. “Girls.” She shook her head and mumbled. “Why couldn’t they all have been boys?” She placed her hand on Bryson’s head and shook up his hair. He kept his eyes on the game like nothing was even going on around him. Mindy pulled her lighter and wrinkly pack of cigarettes off the coffee table.

  “Are you going to do something? She was having sex right under your nose.” Bree didn’t know why she was expecting Mindy to actually parent.

  “We weren’t having sex.” Maggie’s voice was loud, as if she wanted the whole neighborhood to hear. “But if we were, I’m allowed.”

  “You’re only fourteen,” Bree growled.

  “Hey, hey,” Mindy shouted over the lit cigarette swinging in her hand. “Maggie’s on the pill. I’d rather her do it here than somewhere unprotected. I don’t want her to end up with a screaming little snot like you.”

  Even if it was her mom, hearing anyone talk bad about Bailey hit her wrong. “That’s it … I’m done.” Bree shook her head and waved her hands in the air.

  “What are you talking about?” Mindy took a drag from her cigarette, her eyes beady, narrow slits.

  “I can’t do this.” Bree almost let out a laugh. How crazy was she to think that Mindy could be changed?

  “Quit being so dramatic, Breanna,” Mindy slurred. “You two wake me up from a peaceful sleep …”

  “How can you even call yourself a mother?” Bree’s throat burned as she shouted. “You don’t care where Bryson is when he’s out doing dares some big kids gave him and breaks his arm. You let your fourteen year old daughter have sex in her bed while you’re in the house. You … you abandon us and instead of going to work during the day, you’re here screwing your ex-boyfriend.”

  Bree wasn’t prepared for the sting on her cheek. Her head flew sideways. At first, she thought it was Maggie who’d slapped her, until she whipped back around and saw Mindy’s nose in her face. Her breath emitted wine and stale smoke.

  “You have no clue. You’ve been back with me for two months. You’re the one that ended up pregnant living with your dad. If you were with me, it wouldn’t have happened. Go ahead, you self-righteous hypocrite, and get out of here.” Mindy’s hand shook, cigarette burning between her fingers, as she pointed toward the door.

  Bree bit her bottom lip, fighting back the tears, the second parent in a year to kick her out.

  “Don’t let the door hit you.”

  Bree fisted her hands, pursing her lips hard to forget about crying. Not like she needed her anyway. Her feet headed to the door without another thought.

  “Bree,” Bryson called out for her. Her heart ached, but she couldn’t do it anymore. She wasn’t doing any good staying. The door cracked behind her, and her feet shuffled faster. She wasn’t sure where she was going to go this late or how she was going to get there. The weight on her chest getting heavier. She concentrated on breathing because thinking about anything else would only start a flood.

  “Bree wait.” Maggie’s voice cracked as she called out to her.

  Bree ignored her, walking faster with each step.

  She pulled her phone out of her pocket and swiped her thumb over the only person she could count on, Parker.

  “Hey.” It wasn’t Parker.

  “I’m sorry, I have the wrong number.” She started to pull the phone away from her ear.

  “Wait.” The voice on the other end said before she could hang up.

  Dogs barked from behind a chain fence. The property smelling like they didn’t know how to use a pooper scooper as she walked past.

  “Parker?”

  “No, it’s Spencer. Parker forgot his phone. Are you okay? ”

  “No.” She cried, despite not wanting to. She was prepared to cry in front of Parker, not Spencer.

  “I can come get you.”

  She walked by a home with the doors wide open, music blaring, and two guys whose clothes were entirely too baggie sat on the cement steps, their eyes traveled with her.

  “Please.” She met the stare, knowing they were less likely to attack if they knew she got a good look at them.

  ***

  When they walked into the apartment, she realized it was too late. She’d hoped to be there before Parker, but they weren’t. Parker gripped his cell phone in his hand. His face red and jaw clenched. “What’s going on? I get home and have a voicemail from Maggie, who I was not able to understand through the tears. I try to call her back, nothing.”

  Bree tilted her head, letting her hair fall in her face incase her mom left a mark.

  On the ride over, Spencer didn’t ask questions, and Bree hadn’t offered answers. “Mindy and I had a fight tonight, she kicked me out.”

  Parker cursed and kicked the wall, “What happened?”

  “I don’t think you want to know.”

  “What?” Parker’s hands fisted at his sides, his shoulders high and tight.

  “I caught Maggie in her bed with Jake Porter.”

  “I knew I should have beat the crap out of that guy.” Parker flopped on the couch gripping his hair in his hands. “Why did Mindy kick you out?”

  “Maggie and I got into a fight and … and Mindy slapped me.”

  Parker’s knee bounced, as he shook his head, “What a piece of work.”

  “Can I stay here tonight?” She whispered looking down at her hands.

  “Take the spare room. Spence can have the couch.” Parker shook his head. “I’m sorry,” He stood and pulled his arms around her. It was crazy her brother who was barely two years older was more of a parent to her than her own were. Kind of like she was with Bryson and Maggie. Her chest felt hollow as she thought of them. Bryson anyway, she was too mad at Maggie to care. But she did care about her. It wasn’t just about ending up with an unplanned pregnancy, it was she didn’t want Maggie to get hurt. She knew Jake was only after one thing and when he got it, he’d be gone, leaving Maggie heartbroken.

  “I wasn’t going to say anything until I knew what was going on, but I’m going to try to get them away from Mindy.”

  “What do you mean?”

  Parker didn’t speak for a moment, then he cleared his throat. “I’ve been talking to my dad and some lawyers. I don’t know if I can or not, but I’m going to try. Some cases have been known to let the legal sibling be guardian.”

  “Really?” Bree pushed away from him, hope rising.

  “It’s a long process and it depends on the judge and what we can use against her. What happened when we were little happened so long ago, it might not hold up.”

  “But this, tonight, and everything I’ve seen since I’ve been there …”

  “Maybe.”

  Bree frowned, looking around the room, “Where are they going to stay? What about college?”

  “I can still go to school and work for my dad next year like I’d planned. I’ll get a bigger place, we’ll figure it out. All I have to prove is that I can hold a job and pay my bills once we show the judge Mindy’s unfit.”

  Bree nodded, “That’ll be easy, right?”

  “I don’t know. She can fool the courts. My lawyer has already been upfront with me about it. She could say we’re just trying to get even with her for what happened when we were kids. I don’t hate her for that. My life was good.”

  Bree frowned, looking down at the plush carpet. Her life was all right until her dad got marri
ed and had another daughter.

  ***

  As much as she needed sleep, it wouldn’t come. She’d tossed and turned. Everything went through her mind. How could she tell Garrett what happened? Why would her mom toss her out like that? She’d claimed she fought for Bree when her dad won custody, but now Bree figured all that was talk to make herself look good.

  Her parched throat screamed for water, and she shuffled to the kitchenette, careful not to wake Spencer. The television glowed, but the volume was down so far, she couldn’t hear it.

  Maybe she should have tried to get her mom to go to church instead of skipping the last several weeks. If she would have done that, maybe she could have changed everything.

  She felt bad ignoring the texts from her sister asking to talk. It wasn’t something she could deal with at the moment. Despite their differences, Maggie was still her sister, and she loved her. She didn’t want to say something in anger that she’d regret. She felt it best to say nothing at all until she cooled off.

  She made it to the fridge by the television light, grabbing a bottled water from the top shelf. When she headed back toward her room, she startled when she noticed Spencer sitting up, shirtless and messy hair.

  “I was trying to be quiet.” Bree motioned toward the kitchen.

  Spencer ran his hand over his head. “You didn’t wake me.” His voice was scratchy and he leaned forward, his elbows on his knees.

  “Are you all right?” She tapped the water in her palm, hesitant to move.