Running On Empty

by Emily Camp

  “I’m not hiding.”

  “Then why aren’t you at home?”

  Not wanting anything to do with this, Bree grabbed the small container of leftover takeout and headed back to her hide out, just in time for her phone to start up. She knew it would happen as soon as he had the chance.

  Garrett’s text was short and to the point. A simple, what’s going on? Maybe if he would’ve gone with ‘are you okay’ she might not have been as irritated.

  She texted back. You were with Paige the night Bailey was sick?

  Something in her felt like she had no right to be mad at him, they weren’t together. But along with being hurt herself, she hated that he put a girl ahead of Bailey. She didn’t want that for her baby.

  Her phone buzzed again before she could set it down, I’m coming over.

  Don’t. Maybe if he’d denied it, she’d believe him. But now she knew Paige wasn’t lying, and she didn’t feel like talking.

  She should have known he wouldn’t listen as stubborn as he could be sometimes. It didn’t take him long either. Had he even been home yet? Another pang of jealousy hit her chest when she thought about him with Paige, her flipping her blond hair and batting her lashes up at him while everyone watched, knowing Bree was the old girlfriend. The baby mama that he’d left forgotten for the new, shiny girlfriend.

  The mumbled voices floated through the walls. Spencer, Parker, and Garrett, what a combination. Though she couldn’t hear exactly what was being said, their words gradually became louder and clipped. She took in a deep breath, wishing Parker would just kick them both out already. Glancing in the mirror, even though she wished she hadn’t after seeing her matted hair and pink skin, she didn’t want Garrett to see her like this. Not after being with Paige. There was no time for primping, their voices growing louder. It was only a matter of time before punches started flying.

  She shuffled down the hall, around the corner. Garrett’s shoulders were tense and wide as he glared at Spencer, who was saying something in a sarcastic tone, but she didn’t catch what. Parker’s fists were curled at his sides.

  “Hey,” she said, breaking it up.

  Upon hearing her, Garrett’s face softened and he looked up. “Bree.” He stepped around Spencer, taking long strides until he was directly in front of her. “Where’s Bailey?”

  She hitched her thumb over her shoulder, “Asleep.”

  “If you don’t want him here, just say the word,” Spencer said, now her bodyguard. Parker, beside him, suddenly on the same team.

  “It’s okay.” Bree held her hand up.

  Garrett turned toward her again, his eyes locked on hers, his lips in a flat line. “Why’d you leave school?”

  Spencer stood by the door with his arms crossed, glaring at Garrett like he was some kind of bouncer. Parker was still in his fists-ready-at-his-sides stance.

  “Can you give us a minute?” Garrett twisted around to look behind him. Spencer’s eyes moved from Garrett to Bree then back again.

  “I’ll be outside if you need me,” Spencer said.

  “She won’t.” Garrett stood over her, blocking Spencer from sight.

  To her surprise, Spencer stepped out without another word and closed the door behind him.

  Bree stared at her brother, who finally said, “I’m going to …” He pointed down the hall as he disappeared.

  “I didn’t get your messages. That night, I’d lost my phone, Paige was helping me find it.”

  “At her house?” Bree crossed her arms. “How convenient for her.”

  Garrett shook his head, lifting his face to the ceiling. “The jealousy thing is starting to get old.”

  “I’m not jealous!”

  “What is your deal with Paige, anyway?”

  “Oh, gee I don’t know. Maybe she hates me and if she hates me, she hates my daughter and …”

  “Whoa, whoa, whoa, Paige does not hate you or Bailey.”

  Bree’s heart thundered as she balled her hands into fists. “Yes she does. You don’t know because for some reason you’re blind to it.”

  Garrett cleared his throat and looked away. “You’re crazy.”

  “Maybe I am, but at least my daughter comes first.”

  “Bailey does come first for me. Why do you think I’m still trying to work things out with you, even though you’re doing everything to push me away?”

  “I told you not to be with me just because of Bailey.” She hated that her voice cracked as she spoke.

  Garrett’s shoulders slunk, he flopped down on the sofa’s arm rest, making him level with Bree. “I’m not, I do still love you. You’re just making it difficult.”

  “I don’t want to be with you.”

  “You don’t want me, but you don’t want anyone else to have me either. I get it.”

  “That’s not …” She sighed. “No, you know how I grew up. How my dad’s wife always came before me. I don’t want that to happen to Bailey.”

  Garrett’s eyes widened for a second then he frowned. “If you ever think I’d disown Bailey for anything, then I guess you don’t know me, and I don’t know why I’m even trying here.” With that, he stood and stalked toward the door.

  Bree’s chest hurt watching him leave. “Garrett,” she called after a moment, but she’d waited too long.

  He lifted his hand up, but didn’t turn back to her as he walked out of the apartment door, cold air swishing in place of him.

  Chapter Twenty

  We need to talk. As if they had anything else to say to each other. Bree pressed ignore on her phone, she couldn’t deal with Garrett right now. She slid it in her back pocket and headed into the guidance counselor’s office. She hoped she wasn’t making a mistake.

  Her heart was heavy in her chest, especially when she glanced at the silver poster for the homecoming dance on the block wall beside the door. Next weekend. She could wait a couple weeks to withdraw so she could go, but who would she go with anyway?

  “Bree, c’mon on in!” Miss Monroe nudged her head toward her office. She wrestled with a stack of papers in her arms, her secretary holding her hands underneath to catch them from falling.

  “Do you need me to file these?” Her secretary knelt down and gathered what she couldn’t originally save.

  “Yes, that’d be great.”

  Before the secretary stood again, Miss Monroe piled the papers on the already cluttered desk.

  “I’ve been wondering about you.” Miss Monroe held the door open as Bree shuffled in. The room smelled like soup and even more papers sat on her desk than on the secretary’s. “Sorry, doing a little end of nine weeks cleaning.” She cleared her throat and glided to her seat.

  Bree eased down, placing her hands in her lap. The polish on her fingernails was chipped. She couldn’t remember the last time she had the chance to paint her nails.

  “You’ve had a chance to think?”

  Bree shrugged. “I don’t know. I mean part of me wants to stay, but in my mind I know it’s almost impossible.”

  She shook her head, pushing a fallen strand of hair behind her ear. “Not impossible, but we want what’s best for you and your baby, right?”

  Bree looked down, her hands folded in her lap. “I just … growing up, I always looked forward to going to dances where I get to dress up, like prom and homecoming with my friends, Carly and Khloe.”

  “You can still go to homecoming with Garrett.”

  “We broke up.”

  Miss Monroe folded her hands under her chin and tilted her head. “Really? So if you stay here you’re going to go to homecoming with someone else?”

  Bree shrugged. “I don’t know, probably not.”

  “Do you want me to go ahead and get the process started then?”

  “Yeah.” She finally did it, took the plunge. It was both scary and exciting to think about.

  Miss Monroe tilted her head down and slid out her bottom desk drawer. “Now, let me see what did I do …” She mumbled to herself. “We’re going to ne
ed your legal guardian’s signature, since you’re under eighteen.”

  Bree bit her bottom lip, a lump rising in her throat. “I kind of don’t have one at the moment.”

  “What?” Miss Monroe glanced at her computer. “I thought you just moved out of the Bishop’s house and in with your mom. The new freshman, Maggie, is your sister, right?”

  “Yeah, my mom and I, we kind of had a … I don’t live with her now.” She twisted her hands together, not really wanting to go into any more detail.

  Miss Monroe’s eyes widened, and she held her hand to her chest. “You’re homeless? Do you need a place to stay?”

  “I’m staying with my older brother.”

  “You are old enough, and since you have the baby we can get you emancipated.”

  “E-what?”

  “It’s when you’re not eighteen, but the courts decide you’re mature enough to be on your own.”

  “I don’t … I don’t know. I don’t want to get any court or …”

  Miss Monroe frowned. “Are you sure?”

  “Yeah.” She glanced down, looking for the back pack she’d forgotten at Parker’s this morning as if it were there, because it should be. “Thanks for trying and all.” She began to stand.

  “Don’t rush off, Bree, we can find other …”

  Bree paused, fighting the tears in her eyes. “Why are you being so nice? Everyone else thinks I deserve what I’m going through.”

  “I was a teenage mother.”’

  For the first time, Bree saw Miss Monroe frown.

  “I tried,” Miss Monroe shook her head. “Those first several months were tough. Nobody helped me.”

  “I didn’t … I didn’t know you had any kids.”

  “I ended up putting him up for adoption. It was too hard. I’ve regretted it, but I didn’t have anyone try to help. My parents kicked me out, my boyfriend was long gone by that point. At least you have Garrett and an older brother. Please reconsider, because, with your attendance and grades the way they are going, it’s only going to get harder to catch up.”

  Like Bree needed anything else to worry about. “I’m sorry.” Because she didn’t know what else to say. She couldn’t imagine ever giving Bailey up.

  “No need to be, but I don’t want to see you do anything you’ll regret.”

  “I know.” Bree nodded, and hurried out of the office.

  ***

  “You need to stop ignoring me.” Garrett slid in the seat beside her at lunch. She should have known he would.

  Carly stopped mid-bite, her eyes wide, bouncing from Garrett back to Bree. Bree had thought of ditching lunch, even though it wasn’t an actual subject, she didn’t need to be ditching any more school.

  Bree sat her elbow on the table’s surface, right beside her tray, and held her palm to her forehead. “Can we not do this here?” She glanced at the busy cafeteria. It wasn’t like anyone was watching, besides Paige, who glared in Bree’s direction as she gabbed to her minions gathered around her like a swarm of flies.

  “If this is the only place I can get you to talk.”

  “I’ll come over after you get out of practice tonight, okay?” She flipped her face toward him.

  “You promise me?”

  “Yeah.”

  “You’re not just saying that?”

  She shook her head. “No.”

  “I’ll make her.” Carly chimed in, earning her a glare from Bree. Carly shrugged.

  Garrett’s jaw was stiff as he looked from Carly back to Bree. “Okay.” He turned toward his tray and began to shake his juice.

  Bree stared.

  He turned toward her. “What?”

  “I agreed to talk to you, you can go sit with your friends now.” She nodded toward the table where all the football jerks sat. It was loud and hands were flying everywhere.

  “I am sitting with my friends.”

  Bree huffed and turned back toward her food. Nothing on the tray was appetizing, a puddle of chunky fruit, some mystery meat and juice.

  The entire table shook as Lewis flopped down beside Garrett. “What’s up?”

  His wide clueless eyes looked around the table, as if they were talking about him.

  Bree didn’t pay attention to Garrett’s mumbled reply.

  ***

  The weather was nice, but the last thing she expected when she stepped out of Carly’s car was Garrett on the front porch with Bailey already strapped in her stroller, little hairs curling over the bright pink beanie on her head.

  “Call me if you need me.” Carly hollered out the window when Bree stepped toward him. She gave Carly a quick wave. This was her ex-boyfriend, not a serial killer.

  He smiled up at her, Bailey babbling, “Dadada,” and slamming a toy on her tray.

  “There’s mama.” Garrett tilted down, lifting the front of the stroller as he pushed, the back wheels hitting each step one at a time until it was flat on the walk below.

  Bree shoved her hands in the front pocket of her hoodie. She knelt down by Bailey. “Bails, what do you have there?” Bailey continued to slam the rattling toy and jabbered something, her gummy grin big.

  “Mom said she just woke up.”

  Bree leaned in and gave Bailey a kiss on the cheek before she stood. “What do you want to talk about?”

  “Let’s walk.” He nodded toward the sidewalk.

  Bree looked over her shoulder as if this was some life or death situation. “I don’t want to get back together.”

  “Wow, and I thought you were mature enough to have an adult conversation.”

  “What do you want?”

  In the stroller below, Bailey began to whine.

  “Bailey wants to keep moving.” Garrett started walking before Bree could respond. Bailey went from her cries straight to jabbering again.

  Bree took in a deep breath of cool fresh air and followed, falling in step with him. “If it isn’t about getting back together, what did you want to talk to me about?”

  Bailey’s toy flew from the stroller, and Bree knelt to pick it up, wiping it off on the front of her shirt before placing it back on Bailey’s tray.

  Garrett’s neighbor, an older man, waved at them as they passed.

  Garrett lifted a hand, “Mr. Lawrence.”

  Bree waved and continued to walk as Garrett started up again. “There’s a school coming to watch me play Friday night.”

  “Okay?” Bree glanced down at Bailey, just as her toy went flying in the air again. She bent and picked up the toy again, handing it over to Bailey, her jabbers getting louder by the minute.

  Garrett’s shoulders lifted as he breathed in. His hands twisting on the bar. “The school’s about five hours away from here.”

  Bree felt like the wind had been knocked out of her. Her hair blew in her face, and she glanced down at Bailey, who, once again, tossed the toy off her tray.

  Bree sighed and picked it up again. “Are you going to go?”

  Bailey giggled when Bree handed her the rattle.

  “I don’t know. I might, but I want to know what you think.”

  “Why should I have an opinion?” Bree shoved her hands in the front pocket of her hoodie again, squinting toward the sunset.

  She knew it would happen, he had a future. Why shouldn’t he go away to college and play football, get a degree just because of Bailey? Bree was the one who was responsible for her. She was the one whose life has been flipped upside down because of her.

  “Because you’re important to me.” Pushing the stroller with one hand, he reached his other arm around Bree.

  She stepped away, stiffening her shoulders at his touch. “Don’t.”

  “Bailey and you are my future. I need to know I’m making the right choice, if I decide to go there.”

  “I can assure you, I’ll take good care of Bailey while you’re gone.” Her voice came out choppy as she spoke.

  “That wasn’t what I …”

  Bailey’s toy flew to the ground again. This time when Bree p
icked it up, she didn’t give it back. Cries came out of the stroller.

  “It’s okay. We’ll be fine. I’m used to everyone abandoning me.” She shook her hair out of her face.

  Bailey grew louder.

  “I’m not abandoning you.”

  “We aren’t together anyway.”

  Bailey continued to cry almost to the point Bree and Garrett had to shout to hear one another.

  “Give her the toy.” Garrett motioned to her.

  “She’s just going to throw it again.”

  “Bree.” His jaw jerked.

  Bree shook her head and tossed the rattle back on the tray.

  “Don’t take it out on her because you’re mad at me,” he huffed, rocking the stroller back and forth.

  “I’m not.”

  Bailey’s hand dripped with slobber as she gnawed on it. Her cheeks bright red and streaked as if it was the end of the world. Bree felt like that. Like it was the end of her world. She may have been a little bit jealous of Garrett getting to move forward and think about college when she wasn’t even sure she’d make it through the next two years of high school, but what hurt the most was him even thinking about leaving Bailey. Even though she had no right to feel this way, she hated thinking of him leaving her, too.

  Gaining her toy back didn’t appease Bailey, like she could sense her daddy was thinking of moving away. When Garrett stopped the stroller, Bree hurried to pull her out. Pulling her against her, patting her back and talking soothingly to her, Bree turned and headed back toward the house.

  “Don’t do this.” Garrett sighed beside her, the wheels whizzing across the concrete as he pushed to keep up with her.

  “I’m not doing anything. It’s windy and chilly and Bailey’s just getting over a cold. She doesn’t need to be out in this.”

  “I had her bundled up.”

  Bree stopped in her tracks. Garrett skidding to a halt beside her.

  “So you know what’s best for her all of a sudden?” Bree patted on Bailey’s back. Her screaming had tapered off. “I’ll tell you what’s best for her. As a daughter myself, what’s best for her is to have her daddy around.”

  “I’m still going to be around!” His shouts startled Bree and Bailey. “I’m trying … I’m trying to think about the future. I want to give you and Bailey everything.”