‘It’s not that big a deal, right?’ Luke said. ‘I mean, it’s not like they’re right.’ He took my phone out of my hand and looked at the post. ‘You probably should have gone easy on the filters, hey.’
I groaned.
‘Listen,’ he said. He poked my shoulder. ‘Do you need me to beat anyone up for you?’
I gazed at his face. He was smirking, but there was sympathy in his eyes.
‘Why are you being so nice to me?’
He screwed up his nose. ‘Pfft. Brood on your own, then.’
Before he reached my door, I called his name. ‘I love you,’ I said.
‘Love you too,’ he said without looking back at me.
When I woke up the next day, the post – actually, the whole profile – was gone.
I dreaded going to school, but it wasn’t too much worse than usual. I felt like a few people were laughing at me behind my back, but Libby insisted I was being paranoid. Of course, Mikayla and her friends were definitely laughing behind my back, but that was nothing new.
I was relieved to have double Art in the middle of the day, because even though Mikayla was in my class, I was working on my mural, which meant I wasn’t stuck in the same room as her. She had totally taken Art because she thought it was a bludge, even though she had no talent or apparent interest in it. It was so annoying.
It says a lot that, despite the slow progress I was making on the mural and the anxiety that rocketed through my body every time I looked at it or thought about it, working on it was still preferable to being anywhere near Mikayla.
By last period I thought the worst was over.
I thought wrong.
I couldn’t help but panic when I got a notification on my phone. I looked at it under my desk, trying to hide it from my English teacher, Mr Mosely, at the front of the class. It was a Facebook notification – I’d been invited to an event.
I heard sniggering from the back of the room and the hairs on my neck stood on end. I had a bad feeling about this.
And I was right to.
BIRTHDAY PARTY FOR KATIE CAMILLERI’S
IMAGINARY BOYFRIEND.
Poor desperado Calamari is making up boys because she can’t get a real one of her own. Let’s support her in her time of need and celebrate the closest thing to real love she’ll ever get.
The time was set for 3 pm that afternoon. Seventeen people had already clicked ‘attending’.
Shit.
‘What do you think she’s got planned?’ Jordan asked as we walked out of class.
‘I’m sure it’s nothing. Just a silly Facebook thing,’ Amina said.
‘Oh yeah, just some light cyberbullying.’ Jordan pulled a face.
‘Ugggh, I’m freaking out,’ I said.
‘Why don’t we hang back a bit?’ Libby suggested. ‘Until after three. You know, just to be safe.’
I nodded, feeling grateful.
Libby and I sat on a low brick wall near the girls’ quad in silence. The others had gone home after I’d assured them I’d be okay.
I was not, in fact, okay.
My leg jiggled with nerves.
‘How did Guy’s interview go, by the way?’ Libby asked.
‘Hmmm? Oh, good! Theo said there were a couple of awkward moments but his boss liked Guy. He’s starting tomorrow.’
‘Wait – he got the job?’
‘Yeah! Didn’t I tell you? I thought I did.’
‘No. You didn’t.’ She went quiet.
‘Katie –’ Libby started a few minutes later, just as I was saying, ‘Should we get this over with?’
Libby glanced towards the main quad, which was now deserted. She sighed and picked up her backpack. ‘Let’s do it.’
As we got closer to the school hall, I began to hear the murmur of voices. When we rounded the corner of the building, we were confronted by over a dozen people gathered at the back gate.
‘Should we . . . go out the front?’ Libby whispered.
I backed up a step, ready to turn around, when the crowd shifted a little and my eyes locked with Mikayla Fitzsimmons’s. The triumph I saw there sent shivers down my spine. Then I saw something that made me feel about ten thousand times worse. Declan Bell Jones, standing beside her.
I squared my shoulders and grabbed Libby’s arm. ‘No,’ I said. ‘This is the quickest way home. Come on.’
I started to walk forward, but Libby resisted. ‘Katie . . . are you sure? I don’t know . . .’
‘I’m not going to let her win like this,’ I said quietly. ‘It’ll be fine.’
Libby peered into my face, and whatever she saw there made her nod and lift her chin high. We linked our arms and pushed forward together.
As we got closer, people started singing ‘Happy Birthday’. When they got to the part where you’re supposed to sing someone’s name, it was a jumble of words, but I heard ‘Katie’s fake boyfriend’ in amongst the noise.
‘Here they are, the couple of the hour,’ Mikayla said as we reached her. ‘Calamari and her totally hot boyfriend.’ She gestured to the empty space beside me. ‘Happy birthday, big guy.’
There were giggles around us. I looked at Declan Bell Jones. His brows were furrowed and his eyes looked . . . regretful? Concerned? Pitying?
‘Mikayla . . .’ he started to say. She shot him a look. She’d produced a cupcake, presumably handed to her by Emily, who was standing behind her. It was the kind the school canteen lady made, with pieces of cake cut out to look like butterfly wings, and whipped cream and jam all around them.
‘Here.’ She stepped forward so she was right in my face. I swallowed hard, grateful not for the first time that day that I wasn’t a crier. ‘We got him a cake to celebrate.’
I knew what was going to happen next. I knew if I ran it would just make things worse. So I braced myself to have the cupcake smashed in my face. I squeezed my eyes shut tight. I felt Libby tug at my arm, but I didn’t move.
I waited. And waited. And . . . it didn’t come. Confused murmurs rumbled around me and I slowly opened one eye to take a peek. Mikayla was looking to the right, her face twisted in surprise. And anger.
I opened my other eye and took in the scene in front of me properly. For a split second I thought maybe Declan Bell Jones had intervened. But the guy holding Mikayla’s wrist with one hand and the cupcake in the other was actually . . . Theo.
What was he doing here? He was meant to be at band practice. Alex was by his side, a worried look on his face. It was a stark contrast to the totally chill one on Theo’s.
‘Thanks, I needed a snack,’ Theo said. He released Mikayla’s wrist and took a bite out of the cupcake. She sneered at him but didn’t say anything. He gave her his most winning, dimpled grin. He had whipped cream on his face. He left it there, raising an eyebrow as if he was daring Mikayla – anyone – to say anything about it.
‘You would come running when there’s food involved,’ Mikayla said, but her voice came out small and shaky.
People around her gasped.
Theo licked his lips. ‘Mmmm. It’s a shame I got here when the party’s over.’
At that moment Declan Bell Jones stepped forward, glancing between me and Mikayla. ‘Right. Uh. Come on, babe,’ he said. He slung an arm around her, steering her towards the gate. She resisted for a moment and then gave in.
As they walked away, she shot me a killer death stare, while Declan glanced over her head and pulled a face that seemed to say, I’m sorry. People began to disperse, some of them sneaking furtive glances at me. I felt like throwing up. I let out a shaky breath, relieved but also heavy with the feeling that this definitely wasn’t over.
‘You alright?’ Alex said to me at the same time as Theo said, ‘Wanna bite?’ He held the remains of the cupcake out to me.
‘Why did you do that?’ I said, the stress of the situation still coursing through my body. I headed through the back gate.
‘What?’
‘Katie –’ Libby started to talk but I cut her
off.
‘You should have let me handle it,’ I said over my shoulder. ‘I’m not a damsel who always needs rescuing, you know.’
Theo, Alex and Libby followed after me. ‘Are you serious right now?’ Theo called.
‘I suppose you would have preferred cake smashed in your face?’ Alex said.
‘I would have, actually. You think Mikayla will just let this go?’
Theo’s dimples were showing. But when he spoke, he sounded calmer than before. ‘I’m not gonna apologise for helping you, KC.’
‘What were you even doing there?’ I cried.
‘We were in the music room,’ Alex said. ‘I saw what was happening on Snapchat and we raced down.’
‘I thought she was going to bash you or something. When I saw the cake – I was actually relieved. I don’t know, I just acted on impulse.’
I walked on in silence.
‘I’d do it again,’ Theo said. His tone was belligerent.
Libby nudged me. ‘It was pretty cool.’
I groaned and crouched down, covering my face. ‘Why is this happening to me?’ No one said anything. ‘Why can’t I just have a normal boyfriend who comes to school and holds my hand and makes all these bitches sorry they ever said anything bad about me?’
‘Guess you forgot to add that to the recipe,’ Theo said.
‘Huh?’ Alex said.
‘Let’s get out of here,’ Libby said, tugging me up. ‘Your not-normal boyfriend will be waiting for you.’
Sixteen
Guy was pretty distressed when I told him about what had happened at school.
‘But why would she do that to you?’ he kept saying.
‘She’s a bitch and a bully,’ I said.
‘But why?’
I shrugged. ‘She was born that way, I guess.’
He frowned. ‘I don’t think people are born bitches. Everyone is innocent when they’re born. Right?’
I rubbed my eyes, over the whole conversation. The whole day. ‘I don’t know.’
Theo chose that moment to enter the room. He froze when he saw me sitting on his bed. We looked at each other, neither of us saying anything. Finally he said, ‘I’m gonna have a shower.’
Guy, who had been watching us carefully, turned to me once Theo shut the bathroom door. ‘Are you and Theo fighting?’
‘No!’ I said. Then, ‘Yes.’
‘Why?’ Guy moved closer to me, rubbing my shoulder soothingly. Only I didn’t feel soothed.
‘I just . . . it’s complicated,’ I offered weakly. I knew I was being unfair. Theo had only wanted to help me, but I was taking all my frustration and anger at Mikayla out on him.
Because I could.
Because he’d let me.
Because he’d still be there to listen to me and pick me up and offer me support in a way that no one else would.
Because you do that with the people you really love.
‘I better get going,’ I said.
Guy pouted. ‘But you just got here.’
‘What time do you start work tomorrow again?’ I asked, ignoring his protest.
He brightened at the mention of work. He was so excited about it. Reason number 1067 why he was a total weirdo.
‘Ten sharp,’ he said. ‘Theo said I have to be there at nine-fifty which he thinks is a rip-off but “you have to play by the rules”.’
I nodded. ‘I start at nine. Sorry I can’t be there. I might try to come over and see you during my lunch break though, okay? I should be able to make it if I literally run.’
Guy squeezed my hand. ‘That sounds wonderful, but don’t tire yourself.’
‘It’s okay, I’m not a snowflake who’s gonna melt from a bit of exertion,’ I said. I stood up. ‘I’ll see you then, okay?’ I gave him a peck on the lips and left the room just as I heard the water stop running in the bathroom.
I didn’t sleep very well that night.
I was sweating by the time I reached the shopping centre where Guy was spending his first full day as a real live actually employed human being. I looked around for him as I crossed the packed car park. I didn’t spot him until I was inside. He was standing near the trolley bay, leaning casually on the handle of a trolley.
How did he still look good in that hideous fluoro orange vest?
I stopped when I realised he was chatting to someone.
It was a girl. She was in a Michel’s Patisserie uniform. She was handing him something. Some kind of cake.
He smiled broadly, said something enthusiastically, and took a big bite. His eyes widened and he said something that made the girl clap her hands together.
Without hearing him, I knew he’d just proclaimed the cake ‘the best thing I’ve ever eaten’.
I turned around and headed back to work.
‘– and then Scott said I was the fastest trolley boy he’d ever seen and he was so glad he’d hired me!’ Guy was telling me about his day. I was doing my best to sound interested, but I had other things on my mind.
Visions of Guy talking to that girl had haunted me all day. But it was weird. It wasn’t that I was jealous. More like startled. It had made me realise how limited Guy’s world had been until now. How he hadn’t really had a chance to experience everything the way he’d wanted to. And how when he did, maybe he’d realise he didn’t actually like me that much after all.
The thought upset me, but there was also a small part of me that – as much as I didn’t want to admit it – felt relieved. Free.
Theo was laughing. ‘He was pretty impressive.’ The weirdness between Theo and I seemed to have settled down from the day before. Or at least, we were both doing our very best to ignore it.
‘I missed you, though,’ Guy said, pulling me closer on the beanbag we were sharing. ‘You didn’t come by?’
‘Oh, yeah, sorry about that. Got stuck at the chemist. We were busy.’
Alex looked up from the stack of games he was sorting through and frowned. I shook my head to let him know not to say anything. His mouth twisted, but he kept quiet.
‘And Kate, look!’ Guy reached into his pocket and pulled out a fifty-dollar note. ‘My first pay! Theo suggested I frame it but I’m going to buy you something nice with it.’
‘Wait, you got paid already?’ I looked at Theo. ‘Just like that?’
He shrugged. ‘Cash in hand, remember. Rules are flexible.’
‘Non-existent, you mean.’
‘Yeah, well, makes things easier with Guy here, doesn’t it?’
Alex sat back. ‘One of these days you guys are gonna explain our cult kid’s background to me properly, right?’ He had a theory that we were lying about Guy’s background (maybe because we were). He’d jokingly decided that Guy must have grown up in some weird cult that we were covering up. Although I’m not sure exactly how much he was joking.
Theo and I exchanged a look. ‘Not likely,’ he said.
Later, as Guy and I were saying goodbye at the end of Theo’s driveway, I asked him a question I’d asked him before. ‘Why do you like me?’
He stroked my hair and leaned down to kiss my forehead. When he spoke, his lips were still close to my skin. It sent a shiver down my spine. ‘Hmmm. Because you’re Kate.’
‘Yeah, but what do you like about me?’ I said.
He chuckled and pulled back to look at me. ‘Everything. Everything.’ He brought my hands to his lips and kissed the inside of each of my wrists.
I gently pulled my hands away. ‘Do you . . . like anyone else?’
In the glow of the streetlight, I saw confusion on his face. ‘I like many people.’
‘No, but do you like like anyone else? You know . . . are you attracted to other people?’
He shook his head immediately. ‘No. There’s no one for me but you. You know that.’ He reached out to pull me closer.
I gave him a quick hug, said goodnight, and headed towards my house.
He was telling the truth. I knew he was.
It somehow didn’t make m
e feel any better.
Because Guy had been made for me. He was my fantasy come to life. Which was lovely in theory, but the reality of it was . . . unreal.
Everything he said was like something I’d written in one of my angsty fanfics. But unlike those fanfics, Guy and I hadn’t had a meet-cute where he’d been struck by my beauty and then fallen for me more and more as he got to know me.
He’d come fully formed and ready-made to love me.
And that didn’t feel any more real than what was on the page.
Seventeen
That week at school was rough. Mikayla Fitzsimmons and her minions were relentless.
‘What’s the word for when you catfish yourself?’ Mikayla asked loudly one Maths class. ‘You know, when you pretend to have a boyfriend and even use fake photos but it’s all just a lie?’
‘There’s only one word for that,’ Olivia said. ‘Pathetic.’
They giggled, and the teacher shushed them. It didn’t stop everyone in the class from staring at me, though.
I tried to get out of class as much as possible to work on my mural. My teachers were mostly pretty good about it. I even worked on it after school. I wasn’t seeing much of my friends. Or Guy.
The mural itself . . . well, that wasn’t going well either. Nothing I did looked right. I couldn’t get lost in my art daze.
I tried to do my best to just keep going, because that’s what Miss Lui told me to do.
‘When you’re blocked, you’ve just got to push through it. Put one foot in front of the other – one stroke after another – and you’ll find you’ve made something great despite yourself.’
I didn’t know about something great, but at least I was making something.
The main bright spot in my week was Declan Bell Jones.
He’d been messaging me.
It had started on the weekend. He wanted to check I was okay and apologise for what happened with Mikayla.
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