I know she can be nasty sometimes, he said. It’s her way of dealing with her own shit. I’m sorry you got caught up in it.
I didn’t tell him what I really thought. That no matter what shit she was dealing with, it didn’t give her an excuse to be the kind of person she was. That I’d been caught up in it for years, anyway.
Instead, I wrote back, Thank you. And I added a love heart emoji.
Since then he’d sent me lighter messages – mostly Harry Potter memes. It was funny and cute.
I felt guilty.
But I couldn’t resist.
I’d fantasised about Declan Bell Jones for so long. And now he was right here in my DMs.
And a few messages . . . they were harmless, right?
The giddiness I felt when receiving them probably wasn’t, though.
Neither was the fact that a part of me – despite all the hate I was getting from Mikayla, and all the jokes – was secretly glad Guy wasn’t at school. That he was separate from this life. We’d gone round and round about what to do about the situation.
‘Just bring him in one day, like show and tell,’ Alex had said.
‘Don’t be ridiculous,’ Theo said.
‘Let it blow over,’ Libby suggested. ‘Mikayla Fitzsimmons isn’t worth any more of our mental, emotional or physical energy.’
‘Exactly,’ Theo added. ‘Who cares? You’re the one with the totally hot boyfriend. Just be happy in that knowledge.’
‘Mikayla Fitzsimmons has a totally hot boyfriend, too,’ I said, then immediately regretted it.
‘What?’ Guy said, sitting up straighter.
‘I just mean – she thinks she’s better than everyone because of who her boyfriend is. Amongst other reasons.’
‘Yeah, but she’s not, is she?’ Libby said.
We all let the subject drop after that.
Nothing could have prepared me for what happened next.
We had the school awards assembly that Thursday. They take place every term. The whole school attends, and there are awards for academics and sports and music. There’s always a guest speaker and a musical performance – usually by one of around three student bands in existence at any given time. Theo’s band was performing at this one. They’d done it a bunch of times before.
I had descended into the kind of half-conscious stupor that only listening to your vice principal talk about taking pride in your school for ten minutes can lull you into. I wasn’t paying a lot of attention as Theo’s band took the stage. And then I felt it. The ripple through the crowd. Excitement. Curiosity.
Eyes looking my way.
I sat up straighter and that’s when he turned around and faced the audience.
Guy.
He was in school uniform. His golden hair was shining. His eyes were scanning the crowd. When he spotted me, his face lit up and he waved.
‘What the . . .’
Even more people turned to look at me.
Libby grabbed my arm. ‘What’s going on?’ she whispered.
I shook my head. I had no idea.
Guy stood in front of the mic stand.
On my other side, Amina said, ‘Is that . . .?’
I nodded, unable to take my eyes off the stage.
The band starting to play. It was an old song, one I’d heard them perform before.
‘What’s going on?’ Libby said.
Guy started singing.
And wow. I had thought his speaking voice was hot. His singing was on a whole other level.
The atmosphere in the room changed when he opened his mouth. It was like everyone suddenly sat up, leaned in closer and started paying attention.
Amina bounced in the seat next to me and squeezed my arm. ‘He’s so cuuuute.’
As he reached the chorus, Guy’s eyes sought me out again. I felt more people looking my way as he belted out the familiar lyrics. Because instead of singing about a ‘sweet Caroline’, he had replaced the name in the song with mine. And he was pointing right at me while he did it.
‘Sweet Kath-er-ine,’ he sang.
I nearly fell off my seat, not helped by the fact that Amina still had a hold of my arm and was shaking me back and forth, squeeing with glee.
I looked at Libby again. Her nose was scrunched up. ‘This can’t be happening.’
I glanced up at Theo, on stage near Guy, playing his saxophone with his eyes shut.
The murmurs around me were getting louder. I turned my head, taking in the people around me. They all looked shocked. Some were smiling. Most seemed very confused.
‘Oh my god,’ Jordan said.
I turned back to the stage and let out an actual gasp when I saw Guy.
Because he wasn’t on the stage anymore.
He was descending the steps.
He was walking down the aisle.
He was making his way directly towards where I was sitting with my friends.
He stopped right next to us.
‘Get up,’ I heard Amina hiss, pushing me to stand.
People were giggling and talking excitedly, getting louder and louder. Guy sang on, and patches of the crowd even started contributing ‘bah-bah-bahs’ in response to the chorus.
I stood in silence, wringing my hands together, completely dumbfounded, unsure of what to do. My face felt hotter than it ever had in my life. Hot enough to explode.
After one final, long, glorious note, the song came to an end and applause erupted in the hall. Guy stood there, grinning. He reached for my hand and pulled me into the aisle. I clambered over Amina and Jordan to get there. Then, as my whole entire school – including my teachers – watched, he tugged me closer and kissed me.
It was just like something out of a rom-com.
I heard gasps and ‘wooooos’ and some applause.
And then, ‘Katherine Camilleri, please come to my office.’
If my soul hadn’t already left my body, it definitely would have at Ms Walker’s words. I followed behind her, stunned by the absolutely surreal experience, not quite sure how to feel. Guy trailed after me.
I felt the eyes of the entire student body staring at me. Everyone was quiet now, watching. Ms Walker handed the mic, which she had yanked away from Guy, to Mr Han on stage as we walked past. I got a glimpse of Theo. He nodded, a small smile on his face and a look that seemed more intent on gauging my emotions than expressing his own.
As we neared the exit, I dared to glance back. I don’t know how I spotted her in the sea of faces, but automatically my eyes found Mikayla Fitzsimmons. Her mouth was open in utter shock. When she saw me looking, she scowled.
Finally, an emotion other than shock slipped through me.
Smugness.
Satisfaction.
Then I saw Declan Bell Jones sitting beside her, a twin look of shock on his face.
And something else twisted inside of me that I didn’t really want to acknowledge.
Eighteen
‘I thought you were gonna love it,’ Theo said, kicking at the gravel. We were on our way home from school after serving afternoon detention. ‘You don’t seem as happy as I thought you’d be.’
Yes, we’d both got afternoon detention. So had Alex and the other members of Theo’s band. Apparently sneaking Guy into school, having him infiltrate assembly, and then kissing him in front of everyone posed a security threat in addition to violating the ‘hands off’ policy. (The latter part, obviously, only applied to me, so I got an extra detention.)
It was the first detention I’d ever got in my life.
At least I wasn’t banned from the school formal, like Ms Walker had threatened.
Theo and I were nearly home, having parted ways with Alex at the main road. Theo prodded me when I didn’t respond to what he was saying. ‘I thought you’d be “vibrating at a frequency that could shatter glass”,’ he said, quoting a phrase he’d read in one of my stories that had made him laugh. ‘You finally got your big rom-com moment.’
‘Yeah. And then I got detention.’
/>
‘But wasn’t it worth it?’
I sighed. ‘I don’t know.’
Theo rubbed his face. ‘God, KC. You’re impossible.’
‘What do you mean?’
‘I mean . . . you always say you want one thing. You have all these daydreams. You won’t settle for anything less. And then – and then – when you actually get what you want, when everything is perfect and right in front of your face – you still don’t seem happy!’
I was taken aback by the edge in his voice. But his words stung more than his tone.
Because deep down I knew they were true.
What the hell was wrong with me?
Why was I never happy?
‘I’m sorry, okay,’ I said quietly. ‘I know I’m a mess. But I can’t help how I feel. Believe me, if I could control my emotions, I would.’
Theo’s face was tense as he stared at me. After a moment, it relaxed a little and he sighed. ‘Yeah. I guess none of us can control how we feel.’
We walked on in silence for a few minutes.
‘How’s your dad going, anyway?’ I asked, looking for a subject that felt safer than the one we’d been on. ‘I feel like I haven’t seen him around much lately.’
Theo huffed. ‘That’s ’cos he hasn’t been around much lately.’
‘He’s working heaps, right?’
‘Mmmm.’ Theo’s dimples were showing, but he wasn’t smiling.
‘Is something else going on?’
He bit his lip and looked around. We’d reached the park, which was empty. ‘You know what, can we sit? Just for a bit.’
‘Of course,’ I said, trying not to sound as surprised as I felt.
We reached the play equipment and dropped our bags, each taking a swing. I didn’t say anything, waiting for Theo to open up. We hadn’t talk talked in so long. I felt really nervous for some reason.
Theo rocked back and forth gently. Finally, he said, ‘I’m pretty sure my dad is seeing someone.’
‘What?’ I don’t know what I’d been expecting Theo to say, but it wasn’t that. ‘Oh my god.’
Nick hadn’t dated anyone since Theo’s mum had died. Well, not that we knew of, anyway. I’d kind of always thought that Ella was it for him. They had been so in love. I could see that even when I was a kid. Watching Nick break down at her funeral was one of the most gut-wrenching things I’d ever experienced in my life. I’d never seen anyone cry like that, let alone an adult.
‘Yeah,’ was all Theo said.
‘What makes you think that?’
‘He’s been out a lot, and he says he’s working. But. When he comes home, he looks so guilty.’
‘Maybe he feels guilty about working too much?’
‘Mmmm, but . . . he also seems a lot happier.’
‘Well, that’s good, isn’t it?’
Theo adjusted his weight on the swing. ‘And when I went into his room looking for his stash of cash so I could get some groceries, I found a bag from the jewellers.’
‘What?’
‘And it had earrings in it. I’d never seen them before.’
‘Maybe they were for Sophia or Lena?’
He shook his head. ‘My dad doesn’t give those kinds of presents. Not to us. It was always Mum who made Christmas and birthdays a thing.’
‘Whoa,’ I said. ‘Are you – how do you feel? Are you okay?’
He scrunched up his nose. ‘I guess. It’s just . . . weird.’ He stood up, leaning against the metal frame of the swings. ‘I don’t know . . . I want him to be happy. Obviously. It’s just. I don’t know. It’s weird.’
I got off my swing and stood in front of him.
‘Have you tried talking to your dad about it?’
Theo snorted. ‘’Cos we’re so great at talking, my dad and me.’
‘Hey. You’re not so bad at talking.’
Theo looked down, kicking at the ground and pulling a face that said, Yeah, right.
‘You talk to me,’ I said.
His eyes met mine. ‘That’s because it’s you.’
A beat passed when neither of us said anything. Theo looked away first, stooping down to pick up his stuff.
‘Come on, we better get back to golden boy,’ he said. ‘He’s probably having a minor meltdown over us getting detention because of him.’
‘Wait. Are we done here, though?’ I asked.
‘Yeah, KC. We’re done.’
Guy pounced on us as soon as we entered Theo’s room. He was, as Theo had predicted, having a bit of a meltdown.
‘Are you okay?’ he said, grabbing my hands. ‘I’m so sorry, I thought –’
‘It’s okay, it’s okay,’ I said. I laughed. Even though I was all kinds of mixed up over the day’s events, I knew one thing: he had been trying to do something good for me. He had done something good for me. He was the sweetest, most precious being to exist on the planet.
I did not deserve him.
I gave him a hug. ‘Thank you so much, it was lovely,’ I said. I deliberately did not look Theo’s way as I said this. ‘It made me so happy. But I’ve gotta get home, okay? I’ve gotta face the wrath of my parents. I just wanted to make sure you were okay first.’
Guy pouted and apologised again. I reached up and tried to smooth the worry line that had appeared between his brows. ‘You’re perfect. You know that, right?’
He held onto me as I walked to the door, and I had to pull myself away.
I was expecting a massive lecture from my mum when I got home.
The weirdest thing was, she looked stern for about ten seconds before she burst into laughter.
‘Well, there are worse things to get detention for, I suppose, than being serenaded by your boyfriend,’ she said.
And then she asked for all the details.
‘Who are you and what have you done with my mother?’ I asked.
‘Please. As long as he’s not interfering with your actual schoolwork – and you’re NOT having sex, as we’ve previously discussed – it’s okay to have a bit of fun. How did they even pull it off?’
The logistics of the scheme weren’t actually that complicated. Since they were seniors, Theo and Alex were allowed to leave school at lunchtime. As soon as the lunch bell had rung, they’d borrowed their bandmate Spud’s car and gone to pick Guy up. Theo had given him a spare uniform – too short and loose for him, but it did the job. And when they came back just before the assembly, Guy had walked into school with them without anyone batting an eyelid.
I could kind of see Ms Walker’s point about it being a security concern.
After dinner I shut the door to my room, collapsed on my bed and reached for my phone. Mum had come up with a new rule that we weren’t allowed screens at dinnertime because she thought we didn’t talk to each other enough. We were even actually sitting together at the dinner table these days. It was meant to be quality family time, although the calibre of the quality was less than ‘high’ for me that day since the meal had mostly consisted of all three other members of my family making fun of me for getting detention.
I felt sick when I saw a bunch of Instagram notifications on my phone. Not again, I thought. I opened the app with a sinking feeling, and saw that a girl in the year above me had uploaded a video of Guy’s performance and tagged me in it. I watched the video and was overcome once again with just how beautiful Guy was, in every way. As he moved closer to me, the camera zoomed in, giggles coming from the person filming.
My chest tightened as I took in my frozen face, haloed by my frizzy hair. My lips were pressed together, the colour draining from my cheeks, making my freckles and pimples stand out even more.
The caption was: This actually happened at my school today lol.
Okay, not so bad.
Then I scrolled through the comments. Some were from people I knew, but most weren’t.
This is so cute omg.
This video called me single.
Where can I get one of those?
Lmao is this some kind of
joke?
This is a prank right? I’ve seen this movie. It ends with fire and pig’s blood. Y’all better be careful.
Her? Seriously?
Was this a singing telegram? He’s not seriously into her, right?
Tell me they’re not dating.
I stopped reading and put my phone down. Twenty seconds later I picked it up again.
I refreshed to see if there were any new comments.
I refreshed again.
I kept on refreshing, and refreshing, and refreshing.
At 10 pm, I finally cracked and messaged Theo.
Me
Do you know Vada Weber?
Theo
Yeah, she’s in Modern with me.
Me
Have you seen her post?
I waited as the three dots floated on my screen. They stopped. And started again. And stopped.
Me
???
Theo
Yeah I saw it. It’s cute?
Me
Did you see the comments???
Theo
Never read the comments KC.
I started typing three times but in the end deleted it all.
Instead I sent the Instagram post to Libby.
Me
Have you seen this?!
I waited. She didn’t respond. She must have been in bed already. I dropped my phone in frustration before picking it up to refresh the comments all over again. But the post was gone. I refreshed Vada’s profile again and again, but the video really had disappeared: she must have deleted it. I let out a deep exhalation, relieved.
But I spent another night without much sleep.
I wasn’t used to getting attention. Most of the time, I was pretty invisible at school. So when I walked across the main quad the next day and felt everyone looking at me, I really felt it. Most people smiled at me. A few girls said things like, ‘Oh my god, you’re so lucky.’ But others simply whispered to their friends as I walked past. They might have been saying similar things. But I couldn’t stop those comments on the Instagram post from running through my head.
Is this some kind of joke?
This is a prank right?
What’s someone like him doing with someone like her?
‘It was soooooo romantic,’ Amina said at recess.
You Were Made For Me Page 16