Burdens & Riding With The Wind

by Black, Fabian

  Phin shrugged, folded his arms and stared at the floor.

  “Most of the idiots on shows like this can at least garner enough common sense to demand anonymity. Not you though. I bet you were so stuffed full of cocky adrenaline after the chase, so proud of yourself - Phin the speed king - that you didn’t even think about withholding your permission.”

  It was too near the truth for comfort. Phin rubbed a hand across his mouth, but couldn’t bring himself to say anything. Then Adam said the words he hated more than anything.

  “I’m so disappointed in you. You know how I felt about you getting that machine in the first place. I needed to believe you’d act responsibly when riding it.”

  “I’m sorry.”

  “So you’ve said.” Adam seized hold of Phin’s upper arm. “It isn’t good enough.”

  Phin gave a gasp, jutting his hips forward as Adam’s right hand slammed hard against his buttocks. Six thunderous slaps later his arm was released. Punishment was by no means over. His stomach churned as Adam rapped an order.

  “Get upstairs and take off your jeans.”

  Phin strode out of the room and up the stairs, conscious of Adam at his heels. In the bedroom he stripped down to boxers and t-shirt. Despite the warmth in his nether region he shivered and rubbed at his arms, watching as Adam pulled open the drawer on the bedside cabinet. He withdrew a certain hateful object and used it to point at a portion of the bedroom wall.

  “Brace your hands against the wall, push your backside well out.”

  Phin’s heart sank. The position indicated discipline would be severe. He complied with the instruction, dropping his head between his outstretched arms. He flinched as Adam yanked down his boxer shorts and made him step out of them, before resting the long leather paddle again his tingling buttocks. The spanking doled out downstairs had obviously been the warm up. Now Adam intended on getting straight to business, no messing.

  “Why are you being punished, Phineas?”

  “For breaking the law.”

  “The law exacted a penalty from you in that regard albeit too leniently.” Adam raised the paddle. “However, I can’t honestly say I’m pleased about it or the fact you concealed it from me.”

  Oh God in heaven, or wherever he resided in these secular times. Phin pushed hard against the wall holding his breath as the thick paddle struck his bare bottom for the first time. It was a hard stroke delivered full force. He let the breath out slowly as the paddle lifted and then sucked it straight back in as leather struck his buttocks again and stayed there.

  “Showing a lack of regard and respect for your own safety is bad enough. I won’t tolerate it. I certainly won’t tolerate you showing the same lack of respect and regard for the safety of others, especially not for the sake of a selfish speed fix. It is not acceptable behaviour. Count out twelve.”

  Phin stiffened his legs and braced his arms. It took all his willpower to maintain his position and to count as the paddle burned across his backside twelve times in rapid succession before resting once more against his throbbing cheeks. The involuntary semi-erection that had been in evidence before the hiding got underway shrank into his balls, indicating dismay at punishment received and that yet to come.

  “What else?”

  “I broke my word to behave responsibly with the bike, which amounts to lying. Lying is unacceptable because it undermines trust and trust is a vital component of our relationship. I didn’t intend to,” Phin looked back over his shoulder. “I really didn’t.”

  Adam gave a nod of acknowledgement before hooking his left arm around Phin’s waist to anchor him. He then proceeded to administer the mother and father of all spankings, raising the paddle high and bringing it down hard. He stopped only when Phin began to cry and it became a struggle to hold him in place and support his weight, as he instinctively fought against the source of pain.

  “Get to bed.”

  Weeping, Phin obeyed.

  Adam put the paddle away and then climbed into bed beside Phin, gathering him into his arms and holding him as he struggled to quell his tears.

  “That was a vicious paddling.” Phin finally managed to bring his emotions under a semblance of control, mumbling into Adam’s damp shirtfront. “Bloody vicious. You’ve just about blistered my arse.”

  “You deserved a damn good hiding, so don’t start whining. You let me down. Have you any idea how I felt when I realised the idiot on the screen was you? Your shoulder and knee were just about brushing the tarmac as you turned into bends. It’s a miracle you kept control of the machine. What the hell were you thinking?”

  “I don’t know,” said Phin miserably. “I was hyped about picking up the bike that day. It was so beautiful. The moment I turned the key in the ignition and heard the roar of the engine I wanted to see what it could do, what I could do. I knew it was stupid and wrong, but...” he trailed off.

  “You let your excitement rule over common sense.”

  “Yeah, as usual. When I heard the police siren, something flipped. It was like I became a character in a computer game where the objective was to beat the law. I thought I could lose him easily. I almost did. Then I had to drop my speed because of an accident that had caused a build up of traffic. Suddenly it was game over.” He raised his head from Adam’s chest. “Am I forgiven?”

  “Forgiven, yes, excused, no. I lost my mother and brother in a car crash and now my dad’s dying. I don’t want to lose you because of this bloody obsession you have with speed, nor do I want anyone else losing a loved one because of it. It isn’t a game to be taken lightly, Phin, not on the track, and certainly not on the open road. If you’d crashed at the speed you were going they would have had to hose what was left of you from the road surface.”

  Phin grimaced as an unpleasant mental image flashed across his mind’s eye. “Sorry, and sorry for not telling you about it after it happened. First of all I didn’t want a paddling.” He rubbed a hand over his tender backside, saying ruefully, “that didn’t quite pan out, and second I didn’t...” he hesitated.

  Adam stroked his hair. “You didn’t want to burden me when I was so preoccupied with the situation with my father. I’m sorry you felt that way. I obviously wasn’t giving you the attention you needed, though it doesn’t excuse anything. Whatever my apparent state of distraction you tell me what I need to know. I’ll make sure it gets listened to.”

  Snuggling into Adam’s arms, Phin thought the worst was over. His conscience was cleared. The weekend might yet be salvaged after all.

  “Your bike is totally off limits until I say otherwise.”

  “I’ll have to have it back by next weekend though. I’ve got trials.”

  “Not anymore you haven’t.”

  Phin’s heart beat rapid dismay. “I’ll be letting my team mates down. What the hell am I going to tell them?”

  “I’m sure you’ll think of something. You could even use that programme as evidence of how fast you and your bike can travel. I’m sure you’ll be a real hero.”

  “Please let me do the trials. You can...”

  “No.”

  “Adam, please, don’t do this to me, can’t we come to a compromise of some kind?”

  “No.”

  “You’re so ruddy pedantic.” Phin tried to pull out of Adam’s arms, but was firmly held.

  “I didn’t break the law, or your trust. I didn’t endanger myself or conceal anything from you.”

  “You’ve almost thrashed the skin off my backside. It’s punishment enough.”

  “I’ll decide what is punishment enough. I’ll tell you something else. When I do give you back the privilege of riding your bike it’ll be with terms and conditions.”

  “Meaning?”

  “Meaning if you ever speed like that again on a public road the ban will be permanent. You’ll sell the bike.”

  “Bastard!” Phin almost burst into fresh tears as the enormity of the threat registered. “You are such a bastard. You’ve been looking for an excuse to m
ake me get rid of my bike.”

  “I’ve never disguised the fact I dislike motorbikes. I love you and I worry about you, with good reason. I don’t think that’s a crime. All you have to do is behave responsibly and your bike is safe. However, if you ever do anything like I witnessed on television tonight your involvement with bikes is over for good, for the public’s safety as much as yours.”

  “Go away.” Phin rolled onto his side, presenting his back. “Go on. Piss off. I don’t want you near me.”

  “Try to get some sleep.” Kissing Phin on the shoulder Adam got up. He left the room closing the door behind him.

  Phin didn’t want to sleep. He wanted to lie awake and brood and be angry, but a heavy discipline session always tired him. It sapped his energy on both a physical and emotional level. He slept solidly, not even stirring when the storm that had threatened all day finally broke and thunder and rain rattled the windowpanes.

  When he awoke on Sunday morning some of the rawness he felt at having to miss the trials had dissipated. The optimist within him was convinced that maybe, just maybe, Adam might change his mind. So what if experience told him it was a vain hope, a grasping at the proverbial straw. There was always a first time for everything.

  He rolled onto his back, stretching out his legs, giving a little groan as his tender backside rubbed the mattress.

  “Morning, love. How are you feeling?”

  “Sore.” Phin turned his head, looking into Adam’s dark chocolate brown eyes. “You did a real number on me last night.”

  “You deserved it.”

  “I know.” Phin directed his gaze at the ceiling. “Sorry. I was a bloody idiot.”

  “It’s done with. You’ve been punished. Okay?”

  Phin nodded.

  “Isn’t it time you shaved off this chin tuft?” Adam rubbed his fingers over the bristles on Phin’s chin, a teasing note in his voice. “It’s never going to grow into a goatee.”

  “It will, in time.”

  “It’s been two weeks and you still haven’t got enough for a kid never mind a goat.”

  “Oh ha-ha.” Phin turned to face Adam, draping an arm over him. “Do you love me again?”

  “I never stopped loving you. Shut up and let me kiss you.”

  Phin accepted Adam’s kisses with happy enthusiasm, giving a sigh of deep pleasure as they travelled from his mouth down his throat and shoulders to his chest. He moaned, arching his back, as a practiced mouth began to suck his nipples.

  Adam knew every inch of his lover’s body, every contour, and the lump beneath the dark aureole of Phin’s left nipple was not a familiar part of the territory. His tongue suspected it first as it circled the nipple teasing and cajoling it to a stiff peak, and then his finger confirmed it. He sat up, all desire for sex gone.

  “You’re making a big fuss about nothing.” Phin gazed down at the area of concern, probing it with his own fingers.

  “All the same I’d like you to make a doctor’s appointment first thing tomorrow morning.”

  “Oh come on, Ad.” Phin got out of bed. “So I’ve got a slight swelling under my nipple. You probably nibbled it too hard or something.” He grinned. “It’s not as if I’m likely to have breast cancer seeing as I haven’t got breasts, well,” he squeezed his pecs and pouted seductively, “none that would get me a slot on page three of The Sun.”

  “It does happen apparently. Men have breast tissue that can develop cancers in the same way as for women. I once read an article about it in the dentist’s waiting room. You’ll arrange to have it checked.”

  “No way.” Phin inspected his tender bottom in the wardrobe mirror. It was still reddened with some dark bruising on the lower cheeks and upper thighs. It had been a bloody harsh paddling, the worst he’d had in a long time. Sitting was going to be uncomfortable for a good few days. He got a pair of light loose boxers out of his underwear drawer and pulled them on. “I’m not having some strange man handling my nips. It’s embarrassing.”

  “He’s a doctor. He’s handled worse than nipples.”

  “Exactly.” Phin dragged a clean t-shirt on. “There’s no telling where he’s had his hands. He’s not clamping them to my chest.”

  “It’s probably nothing, but I want to know it’s nothing, so you’re going.”

  “No. I’ll feel stupid if I go to the doctors about it.”

  Adam shook his head. “I don’t understand your logic. Going to consult a doctor makes you feel stupid, while riding a motorbike at breakneck speed makes you feel what - intellectual?”

  “I thought you said that subject was done with.” Phin scowled. “I’m not going to the doctors. I don’t want to.”

  “Keep in mind the time you refused to see the doctor for what you termed a strained wrist, which turned out to be fractured.”

  “There’s no chance on earth that my nipple could be fractured. I’m not exposing it to the chilly mitts of the medical profession.”

  “You have no choice.” Adam got out of bed. “As head of the house I’m ruling in this matter. You’ll obey me. End of story.” He headed for the bathroom.

  Phin punched a frustrated fist into a pillow. Sometimes he hated the authoritarian structure of the relationship he shared with Adam, fucking hated it.

  His mood soured further when he went downstairs to the kitchen. His bike keys were missing from their usual place - hanging from the stainless steel banana tree. Confiscated. Damn it! Fuck knows when he’d get them back. Adam was strict. It could be weeks. His early morning optimism faded. There wasn’t a chance in hell of him doing the speed trials.

  Making a mug of coffee he carried it through to the living room, setting it down on the coffee table. The letterbox rattled and he went to retrieve the Sunday newspapers from the doormat. Settling down on the sofa he sipped his coffee while flicking through the newssheets, not taking in a word written on them. He heard Adam descending the stairs.

  “Have you eaten yet?”

  Phin shook his head, not bothering to look up from the paper.

  “I’ll make breakfast. Bacon sandwich sound good?”

  “Not for me.” Phin turned the page.

  Adam leaned against the living room doorjamb, surveying Phin for a few moments before speaking again. “Is this sulk to do with last night or this morning, or a combination of both?”

  “Piss off, Adam.”

  “If you can’t speak to me civilly it might be best if you don’t speak to me at all. I’m going to make some breakfast. Try and sort yourself out.”

  Adam grilled several rashers of bacon and made sandwiches. He took them into the living room along with a mug of tea. “Sure you don’t want one?” He offered the plate to Phin, who gave a cold little shake of his head.

  Adam settled in an armchair, resting his right foot on his left knee and balancing his plate on his ankle, as was his habit. “What do you fancy doing today, love?”

  Phin rustled the paper he was reading, but otherwise made no reply.

  Adam soldiered on. “I suppose we should do some gardening, don’t you think? The lawns need mowing and the hedge at the back is looking a bit tatty.”

  “I believe, and correct me if I’m wrong,” said Phin haughtily, “that you told me not to speak if I couldn’t be civil.” He glared at Adam. “I don’t feel civil, so don’t expect me to speak.”

  Adam tut-tutted, gave a sad shake of his head and got on with eating his breakfast. Afterwards he washed up and then called the hospital to ask how his father was. He’d been admitted with a chest infection the week before. His cancer-ravaged body was finding it hard to fight off the infection. The doctor he’d spoken to the previous day seemed optimistic that a corner had been turned. He spoke to a ward nurse who said his father had had a good night and was still asleep.

  By the time he got off the phone Phin had gotten the lawn mower out and was cutting the grass at the back of the house. Adam hoped it indicated a thaw in mood. It didn’t. Phin enquired how his dad was, evaded a kiss and then
silently got on with the mowing.

  Adam didn’t press. Sometimes Phin, stubborn man, was best left alone to stew his moods out. Getting the garden shears he put his own energies into trimming the hedge.

  Silence was broken at lunchtime when Phin made a belligerent announcement. He couldn’t be arsed dredging up a meal. He was lunching at the pub down the road instead. Adam joined him, despite the lack of an invitation.

  ***

  “I think you’ve had enough now.” Adam spoke in prim disapproval as Phin returned from a supposed visit to the loo, setting a second pint of beer down on the table. He’d obviously returned via the bar. “You’ll be drunk before your meal arrives.”

  Phin’s hackles rose. He was getting pissed off with being pulled up.

  “You know what your trouble is don’t you, Adam?”

  “Do tell.”

  “You’re a right naggy old woman, one who thinks too much and knows too little. I know when I’ve had enough because I vomit and fall over. Am I vomiting, am I horizontal?”

  Adam’s eyes narrowed. His patience was close to expiry where his stroppy partner was concerned. “If you don’t watch your mouth, Phin, you’ll be horizontal in a way you won’t like, over my knee with your pants down.”

  “In a public place. I doubt it.” Phin took a long gulp of beer. “So,” he wiped froth from his upper lip, “let’s take a moment to recap here. I have to watch my speed, watch my mouth and let someone else watch my tits. It’s a shame my cock isn’t detachable. It would save you the bother of emasculating me in person. I could just gift wrap it and hand it over for you to use as a dildo on me as and when you fancied. You could even suck it while fucking me. It would give a whole new slant to double penetration.”

  “Pork and lamb?” The waitress made a timely appearance.

  “I’m the lamb,” smiled Phin sweetly. “The pig is over there.”