Until We Fly

by Courtney Cole

  Maria stares at me pointedly and I realize that I’m holding Brand’s wallet, paying for a dinner for two with it. Of course she thinks there might be something to that. But I can’t focus on that, mainly because I know Brand doesn’t want me. Or he doesn’t want to want me, anyway.

  “Which actor did Jacey marry, Maria?” I ask curiously.

  She wrinkles her nose in disdain. “Dominic Kinkaide.”

  I recognize the name immediately, and picture him in my head. Hollywood’s most famous bad-boy.

  I’ve seen his face a thousand times in the movies. Tall, dark and dangerous. But at the same time, I do remember seeing photos of he and his new bride plastered on the tabloids.

  Jacey Vincent-Kinkaide. Blonde, brown-eyed. Gorgeous.

  Brand was in love with someone who is the polar opposite of me.

  And he might very well still be, for all I know. Maybe that’s why he doesn’t want to want me. He doesn’t have a girlfriend, but he’s still in love with someone else.

  I swallow hard.

  “It’s been nice meeting you, Maria,” I tell her as she hands me the dinner bags. “I’m sure I’ll be in a lot this summer.”

  She smiles. “Tell Brand hello for me, dear. I hope to see him, too.”

  I shake my head as I head out to the car. Maria is very genuine. She truly wants to see Brand. Apparently, Brand has the same effect on everyone. They want to be near him, to soak him up. At least it isn’t just me.

  Brand is waiting at the table when I get back to the cottage, and the table is set for two. I shake my head as I carry in the bags.

  “You’re so stubborn. You’re supposed to rest. It isn’t that hard for most people, Brand.”

  He shrugs. “I guess I’m not most people.”

  Hell no, you’re not.

  I dish our food onto real plates, and push one across the table to him.

  “So, Maria was really nice.”

  Brand looks up and grins. “You met Maria? She’s a sweet lady. Don’t let her fool you, though. Her husband died last year. She’s hard as nails.”

  I take a bite of lasagna, trying to act casual.

  “Yeah, she mentioned that Tony died. She mentioned a lot….about you, and Gabe and Jacey.”

  Brand looks up at me, but he doesn’t show any reaction. “She did, huh?”

  I nod. “Yeah. She said that Jacey’s ex ran Tony off the road.”

  Brand sighs and takes a bite of his food. “Yeah. It was a hard time. Jacey didn’t always make good decisions. But she’s doing better now.”

  “Yeah, Maria mentioned that, too. And that’s she’s married to Dominic Kinkaide.”

  Again, Brand shows no reaction.

  “Yep. In fact, I think they’re in Europe right now. You probably won’t see her this summer.”

  This causes my head to snap up. “Why would I see her?”

  Brand looks at me in surprise. “This is her cabin. Well, she shares it with Gabe. Like I mentioned, they inherited it from their grandparents.”

  He’d mentioned his friends had inherited it. He hadn’t said that one of the friend’s was Jacey Vincent-Kinkaide.

  “Oh.” I feel a bit deflated. I don’t know why. He might be in love with Jacey, but she’s married. To one of the world’s most famous actors. And she’s thousands of miles away right now. She’s not a threat to me. Brand can’t have her.

  We eat in comfortable silence and after I clear away our leftovers, I turn to Brand.

  “There’s no cable here.”

  He smiles. “I know. It used to drive us crazy in the summers.”

  “I can imagine. But I saw a checkers board in one of the bookcases. Do you want to sit outside and play?”

  Brand stares at me in surprise. “Sure. I just never figured you for a board games girl.”

  I roll my eyes. “You don’t know me yet.”

  Yet.

  I set the game up and Brand hobbles out on his crutches. Even injured, his biceps bulge and flex with each movement. I could watch his arms all day. But I can’t. I’ve got a game to play…in more ways than one.

  Instead, I look up. “Black or red?”

  Brand sits down. “Black.”

  “Then you go first,” I suggest. “But I’ve got a caveat…something that will make the game more interesting.”

  Brand raises a blond eyebrow. “Oh, yeah? And what’s that? Strip checkers?”

  I smirk. “You wish. But no. If one of us gets jumped, the other one gets to ask a question. And we have to answer.”

  Brand cocks his head. “Clever. What if we don’t really want to know the answers? Sometimes mystery is better than reality.”

  I shake my head. “I disagree. There are things I’m dying to know about you.”

  Brand rolls his eyes. “I’m not that interesting.”

  “Let me decide that,” I suggest. “Your move….if you’re not afraid.”

  He snorts, and I push the board toward him. He moves a black checker forward.

  Then I move a red one.

  We go back and forth a few times, until he manages to jump one of mine.

  “Bingo,” he says with a grin.

  “Wrong game,” I tell him. “What’s your question?”

  He thinks on that, his large hand drumming on his thigh. “Hmm. Let’s see. Okay, why are you spending the summer here in Angel Bay?”

  I answer immediately. “My father wanted me to take the summer off and recharge my batteries. I just finished law school.”

  “So your brain is tired?” Brand grins and I swear, it could light up the entire lake. I nod.

  “I guess you could say that.”

  “Your move,” he tells me.

  I move. Then he moves. We parry back and forth, until I finally manage to jump him.

  “Do you love Jacey?”

  I’m not one to beat around the bush. Brand’s head snaps back and he stares at me in disbelief.

  “Wow. You don’t mess around, do you?”

  “No. Maria talked so much about her that I’m curious. What’s your answer?” I stare into his eyes and he stares back. Finally he nods and for a minute, my heart stops beating. But then he clarifies.

  “Yes. But not in the romantic way. I thought I did for a while, but maybe I never did. She and Gabe have been like my family. I was close to her, and maybe I got confused. Emotions aren’t my forte.”

  “So you don’t love her romantically?”

  Brand shakes his head. “That’s two questions, sweetheart.”

  I suck in my breath at the endearment, and Brand smirks. “What? No one’s ever called you that?”

  He’s kidding, but I shake my head. “No.”

  “You’re joking.”

  Brand is dumbfounded now and I have to laugh. “No, I’m not kidding. Believe it or not, I haven’t had that many relationships. My father never approves of anyone.”

  Brand stares at me drolly. “But you were away at college. What your father didn’t know wouldn’t have hurt him.”

  I almost shudder. “My father knows everything. Trust me. It’s your turn.”

  Brand drops it, and goes, much to my relief. I don’t want to get into how my father kept tabs on me at school. Before long, Brand jumps me again. He levels a blue, blue gaze at me.

  “Are you happy?” he asks thoughtfully, rocking back in his seat with his good leg. I suck in a breath.

  “Blunt, aren’t you?”

  He chuckles. “No more than you.”

  Touché.

  “No, not really,” I answer honestly. “I hope to be someday.”

  Brand stares at me hard. “Why aren’t you happy now?”

  “That’s two questions,” I throw his words back at him. “It’s my turn to go.”

  Brand rolls his eyes, but I ignore him as I move.

  I jump him two moves later.

  “What happened in Afghanistan?”

  He doesn’t even flinch. “My HUMVEE was bombed. My leg was shattered.”

 
“You earned a purple heart,” I tell him. “So I know there’s more to the story.”

  He shrugs. “I don’t think it serves any purpose to talk about it. Some memories are best left alone. I’ve dealt with it and moved on, but that doesn’t mean I enjoy thinking about it.”

  There’s a look on his face, a don’t fuck with me look, that I decide to heed. “Your turn,” I tell him softly instead. He nods.

  He moves a checker, only to open himself up to a double-jump. I crow and jump him. Twice. He glares at me mockingly.

  “I don’t like this game.”

  I giggle. “I get two questions.”

  He doesn’t argue, he just crosses his arms and waits.

  “There’s something bothering you, I see it on your face. I have a feeling that it’s not your dad’s death, and you say you’ve dealt with Afghanistan, so what is it?”

  Brand looks away. “I really don’t like this game.”

  I smile, but I don’t back off. “What’s your answer?”

  He stares out the window for a minute, at the lake, before he sighs. “Sometimes bad things happen in life. Sometimes they happen when you’re really young. Those are the memories that won’t fade with time.”

  I’m stunned. It’s a vague answer, but it’s still oh-so revealing. Something happened to him when he was a kid, something bad.

  “Do you want to talk about it?” I ask gently.

  Brand looks at me. “That was your second question, you know.”

  I nod. “That’s fine. What’s your answer?”

  He shakes his head immediately. “No. I don’t want to talk about it. I’m a grown fucking man, not a pussy. I don’t need to talk about it.”

  “Yet it still bothers you,’ I state simply.

  “There’s no fix for it,” he tells me firmly. “My father’s dead. I guess that’s all the closure I need.”

  I’m doubtful as I stare at Brand’s gorgeous face. His gorgeous, tortured face. He doesn’t have closure. I can see that right now. I don’t know what to think about his family situation. He doesn’t seem to be grieving, but he’s still troubled about something. Deeply troubled. But I can also see that he’s done talking about it.

  “Your turn,” I say instead. He goes. I go.

  After he goes again, I manage to jump him.

  “What do you do for a living?”

  He grins, pretending to be relieved, only maybe it’s not an act. I can tell he doesn’t like to talk about himself. At all.

  “Gabe and I started a company together a couple of years ago. We developed military grade body armor. We started the company to keep soldiers safer, but it’s also being used by police departments and private security details.”

  “That sounds amazing,” I tell him softly. And it sounds like exactly something he would do…keeping people safe. He shrugs.

  “It’s a living.”

  He pushes away from the little table. “I’m about done in for the day,” he tells me. “Thank you for going to get dinner, Nora. And I’m sorry you’re not happy. Hopefully you can figure that out soon.”

  He hobbles away and I have to agree with the sentiment.

  Hopefully I can figure that out soon.

  Chapter Six

  Nora

  I put away the checkers, and boot up my laptop, checking a few emails. My mother has written four.

  You’re only five minutes away. Can’t you come home for tea soon?

  Your father isn’t happy about your current situation.

  Yeah, what’s new?

  But it’s her last email that sends ice water through my veins, chilling every part of me.

  William called yesterday, wanted to know where you were. He said you weren’t returning his phone calls and that he had some business related questions for you. I told him where you are, but told him that you were taking the summer off. I hope that was okay.

  I take a ragged breath.

  Then another.

  I told him where you are.

  He knows where I am.

  With shaking fingers, I answer her email.

  I’m sorry. Like I told you the other day, I feel responsible for Brand. He got injured because of me. I’ll definitely come home soon for tea. It’s okay that you told William where I am. I’m sure he just has a simple question or something.

  It’s not okay. Not at all.

  But she doesn’t know what he did.

  I hit ‘send’ and close my laptop.

  As I walk through the house, I find Brand sitting in front of the windows again. Instead of staring out at the lake, his gaze is firmly fixed on the box his mother had brought. It stands out starkly against the white wood that it’s sitting on.

  He’s staring at it so intently that he doesn’t even realize I’m watching him.

  The look on his face is painful. Intent, hurt, vulnerable.

  I can only imagine what might’ve happened to him in the past. But from the way he’s staring at that freaking box, it must have something to do with his father.

  With a sigh, I continue on to the kitchen to make some hot tea.

  I guess we both have secrets.

  I keep mine closed away in the furthest, darkest place in my heart. I’m sure Brand does the same. I’m also sure that I’ll never know about them until he’s good and ready to share.

  Sipping at my tea, I slouch in a kitchen chair. Looking around, I try and imagine the days when this cozy little cabin was bustling with life. Apparently, Jacey and Gabe spent every summer here with their grandparents, and Brand was here a lot.

  Because I’d done a little bit of digging, I know that Brand’s parents’ house is just down the road. When we drove here, he didn’t even point it out.

  There’s bad blood there, obviously. I just can’t imagine what a guy like him could possibly have done to make his own parents turn on him.

  The sound of the shower running jars me from my thoughts and I look up in alarm. Brand isn’t supposed to get the dressings on his thigh wet. God, he’s stubborn.

  I leap out of the chair and sprint down the hall, throwing open the bathroom door.

  Brand is completely naked, balanced against the bathroom sink as he prepares to maneuver himself into the shower.

  He’s surprised to see me, and I’m frozen as I stare at him.

  He’s absolutely beautiful naked.

  It’s like he’s been sculpted from marble by a skilled master. Michelangelo, perhaps. I suck in a breath, unable to take my eyes away from him.