Tragic (Cherry Grove Book 1)

by Cole Lepley

  He runs his hand over his head and laughs. “That’s how we’re going to play it, huh?” He takes a step toward me. “You should have been the one to tell me—not her.”

  I take in a breath. I really wish she was here right now. My mind races as I try to figure out why she felt the need to confess to Oliver without me. “I’m sorry.”

  “Sorry?” He laughs again. “All those times I was trying to help you out and it was all over my sister. If I would have known, I would have told you what a bad idea this was.”

  I scoff. “Why? What’s the big deal if we’re together?”

  Oliver looks at me like I’m an idiot. “For starters, she’s your fucking student.”

  I laugh once. “She’s so much more than that and you know it.”

  He rolls his eyes. “If I fucking knew we wouldn’t be in this situation in the first place. You’re my best friend—you’re supposed to tell me everything.” His eyes narrow as they meet mine. “She was in there talking soul shattering love. You better not be fucking her around.”

  I pull my hands into my chest. “I’m not, Ollie. I swear. I love her, too.”

  “Wow.” He throws his hands up and then rubs his temple. “I don’t even know what to do with this.”

  “Listen, this is real. We’re in this together, completely. It’s what we want.”

  He shakes his head. “Completely, huh? So, that means you told her everything. She knows everything about you.”

  I bite the inside of my cheek and he nods. “That’s what I thought.” He walks over to me and looks me directly in the eyes. “You know how I know that?” I shake my head, and he continues. “Because she asked me to tell her.”

  My lungs feel like they collapse for a moment as I struggle to take another breath. “Did you?”

  He throws his arms up again and drops them heavily at his sides. “I didn’t want to, and I almost did, but then you two showed up and decided to have a brawl in my driveway. What were you thinking?”

  “I wasn’t thinking. I just reacted.” I step closer to him, my hands still shaking. “He’s going to hurt her. He’s crazy.”

  “He’s not crazy. He’s a dumb kid who can’t handle losing the love of his life.”

  I laugh sarcastically. “The love of his life? He’s treated her like garbage since they started dating. He doesn’t deserve a girl like Elle—he never did.”

  His eyes soften a little. “I know you care about her.” He pulls his hand into his chest. “I care about her, too.”

  I clench my fist, the anger coursing through me in waves. “I fucking love her.” I get right in his face. “Do you understand me? I love her. I will do anything that I have to do to protect her.”

  Oliver holds his hands up. “Whoa. Calm down, killer. Judah is not the enemy.”

  My mind is completely blown right now. I can’t wait to hear his rationale on this one. Oliver takes a deep breath and leans on the edge of the couch. “Hunter, they’ve been back and forth for years—you know that. This is probably the worst time for her to get involved with someone else. She’s young, she doesn’t know what she wants.”

  When I open my mouth to protest, he stops me. “And that’s okay. She needs to make mistakes and figure things out on her own.” He pokes me in the chest. “And if you love her as much as you say you do, then you need to be patient with her. She’s not as strong as she appears to be.”

  I breathe a little calmer and nod once. “I can do that.”

  Oliver laughs. “Can you? You really put the beat down on the poor kid.”

  I grip my hands in my hair and pace around the small living area. “I know. I fucked up.”

  “You sure did.”

  I look down to him in shock. “You’re supposed to make me feel better.”

  “Only when you’re right.” He stands up and shrugs and then places his hand on my shoulder. “Right now you’re totally in the wrong, dude. Apologize to Judah and pray he doesn’t spread this around to their friends. You could be in a world of shit.”

  To be honest, that’s the least of my worries. Elliot could barely look at me. What if what I did was so horrifying that she never speaks to me again? That thought alone makes me physically ill.

  So, I wait. I wait for her to come to me and pray that she gives me a chance to explain.

  24

  Poison And Wine

  Judah winces when I press the damp washcloth to his lip. “Sorry,” I whisper. I attempt to move as gently as I can around the cut. He peeks up at me, and I keep my gaze averted. If I look at him right now, I won’t be able to hold it together anymore.

  “Elle?”

  I swallow the lump in my throat. “What?”

  There’s a long pause and I finally lower my eyes to his. “Are you with him?” he asks.

  When I don’t answer fast enough, he pulls the rag from my hand, catching my full attention. He tosses it to the table. “You are, aren’t you?”

  Ignoring him, I reach for the bag of ice lying next to the bloody washcloth and place it to his cheek. “You’re already swelling up. It will look even worse if you don’t take care of it now.”

  He grabs my wrist gently. “Elliot, please. Tell me that I’m wrong.” I look down at him and see the panic in his eyes. “Tell me that you’re not in love with him.” His throat bobs when he swallows. “At least tell me that.”

  I’m not sure why it’s so hard to admit it to him, but it is. He sees it in my face though. I can’t hide that. My feelings for Hunter are too strong now to be denied anymore.

  I take a step back from him and lean against the counter, gripping the edge to hold my balance. “I’m sorry,” I say again and then take a shaky breath. “I don’t know what else to say.”

  He looks at me like all the air has been knocked out of him. “How could you do this?”

  “How could I do this?” I ask. I stand up straighter and draw my hand into my chest. “You’re the one who wanted this.”

  Judah stands up from the chair abruptly and instantly regrets it, clutching his side. He lets out an angry breath through his nose. “I never asked for this. You weren’t supposed to fall in love.”

  “What was I supposed to do, huh?” I cross my arms over my chest. “Sit around and wait for you until you banged every girl that made your dick twitch out of your system.”

  He shakes his head roughly. “No.” His eyes lock on my mine, and the intensity in them brings me pause. “You were supposed to miss me.”

  My eyebrows pull in. “Miss you? How was any of this supposed to make me miss you?”

  His eyes lower to the tile floor for a moment. “I wanted you to come with me.” He looks up and gives me a guilty look. “I thought it would make you want to come to Cornell next year.”

  “Why would this make me want to do that?”

  He narrows his eyes slightly. “I sure as hell didn’t think it would make you bang your English teacher.”

  “Fuck you, Judah,” I say , stepping forward. I point my finger at him. “It’s not like that and you know it. He’s our friend.”

  Judah laughs bitterly. “Not my fucking friend. Hunter and I were never bros.” He cocks his head to me when I lower my hand. “I was cool with him because of you. That dude never looked at me right.” He laughs again and then locks his eyes on me. “I never liked the way he looked at you either.”

  “Things were completely innocent between us until recently.”

  Judah throws his arms out in frustration. “Yeah, so what changed? Don’t you think I had a right to know?”

  “Are you serious right now?” I point between us. “You and I were over. I didn’t have to explain anything to you.”

  Judah’s jaw clenches. “Dating someone and being in love with them are two completely different things.”

  I cross my arms around myself and look away from him. “I didn’t mean for it to happen. I was just so—so tired of pretending I wasn’t sad.” I look back to him, and the anger I saw a moment ago is replaced with
regret. “He took that away for me. It didn’t hurt so much.”

  “If you were hurting so badly—” His voice trails off, and he takes a shaky breath. “If you were hurting at all because of me, you should have told me.” He takes my face gently in his hands. “I shouldn’t have to tell you how much you mean to me, but I will. I’ll tell you every day how much I love you and how much I need you in my life. If you have to stay here next year, then I’ll wait.

  My eyes well up, and I choke on my own air. “Why are you telling me this now?” The words come out in a strangled whisper, and I watch his eyes squeeze shut like I wounded him.

  “It’s not too late,” he says, mostly to himself. His eyes flick open again as my first tear falls. “Tell me it’s not.”

  If I opened my mouth to speak, I know my words would break into a million pieces. I never wanted to hurt Judah—mentally or otherwise, but it is too late. I’ve already given my heart to someone else, and I have no intention of taking it back.

  Judah sees my struggle, and a tear falls down his cheek. “Okay,” he says, his voice thick. He grabs the rag from the table and wipes the rest of the blood from his lip before reaching for his hat. He slips it on backwards and starts toward the door, pausing with his hand on the doorknob.

  “If he’s what you want, I won’t stand in the way of your happiness.” He turns over his shoulder. “I won’t say anything either. I may not give a shit about his future, but I sure as hell care about yours.”

  Without another word, he slams the door behind him, and I slowly lower myself to the barstool. The tears are falling steadily now, and I’m not sure if they’ll ever stop. Judah is being the guy I always wanted him to be, and Hunter is acting like a jealous, psychopath. I know that’s not how he really is. I know him. I’ve spent countless nights staying up with him, getting to know every corner of his heart and have never found a single part of it to be impure.

  Something must have really set him off, and I need to find out why.

  I don’t go to the guest house after Judah leaves. I need time to think. I’m sure Hunter is upset, too—but I don’t know what to say to him. Judah has gotten into fights with guys over me before, but this was different. It’s not causal like it was before, if you can even call a fight casual. The emotions behind those blows were intense. They both feel like they are losing me, and the simple fact is, one of them already did.

  I will always love Judah, that’s something I can’t take back. He’s a part of me forever whether Hunter likes it or not. When this all began, I never expected to fall so hard and so deep for someone else, but I did. The love I have for Hunter consumes me and terrifies me at the same time. In the past few months, the dynamic of our relationship has changed so much that I’ll never be able to go back to being his friend. You can’t love someone the way that I love him and do that.

  I’m lying on my side, staring at the blank screen of my phone. He didn’t even text me. Maybe what Judah said really hit a nerve and now I’m too much trouble for him? Despite the fear of rejection, I type out a text and send it quickly. I shove my phone face down, and my heart pounds while I wait for his reply.

  Me: Can we talk

  It goes so long that my chest almost seizes up completely—but when I pick it back up, I see those three dots flashing.

  Hunter: Door is open

  I practically jump from my bed and pull on a pair of sweatpants. After twisting my hair on top of my head, I quietly slip down the stairs and out of the back door.

  All of the lights are off in the guest house, and I slowly push the door open. I scan around the room and don’t see him anywhere. I walk further down the hall and peek in the bedroom. He’s lying on his side facing the wall.

  I slide in behind him, wrapping my arms around his waist. I place a kiss on his cheek, and he sighs. “I love you, Hunter,” I whisper.

  His hands lace with my mine, and he brings them tight to his chest. He’s shaking, and I can’t tell if it’s from his recent rage or something else.

  “I’m sorry,” he says softly.

  I pull one of my hands away and run it through his thick, blond hair. “You know that I only want you, right?” He doesn’t answer, and it causes my stomach to drop further. I take a shallow breath. “Hunter?”

  He turns around to face me, resting his hand on my hip. His eyes are so sad it breaks my heart instantly. “This is really hard for me.”

  “All relationships are hard sometimes,” I say softly.

  He shakes his head. “No, not for me. I’ve never loved anyone before—I never let myself love someone the way I love you.”

  “Why?”

  His eyes shift away from mine and down to the space between us. “What did Ollie tell you about me?”

  “Nothing,” I say quickly. I grab his face, so he has to look at me. “He told me nothing, and I’m glad he didn’t. I want to hear it from you.”

  Hunter laughs bitterly. “You don’t know what you’re asking for.”

  “You’re right,” I say, letting go of him and inching back a little. He mirrors my position and rests on his elbow. “I don’t know what I’m asking for because you never really let me in.”

  He sighs and then reaches for my hand. His fingers thread back and forth through mine slowly, but he doesn’t meet my eyes. “I didn’t grow up like you did. I didn’t have a family to teach me things like love.” His gaze lands on mine. “My father is a horrible man. That’s not just me being cynical, there isn’t a decent bone in his body.”

  “Is that why you don’t see him?”

  He laughs once. “I can see him any time I want. That’s why we’re here—my mother and I. She followed him when he got sent to prison.”

  Prison? A million scenarios run through my mind of what he could’ve done and why Hunter obviously feels responsible for it. I’m not even sure what to say. He’s watching me, waiting for a response, so I work to keep my features neutral.

  “Why?”

  He blows out a long breath and leans in to kiss my forehead. He pulls back a little and looks in my eyes. “You sure you want to hear this?”

  I grab his face and kiss him hard. I try to put every ounce of love I have for him into it, so he knows how invested in this relationship I really am. He kisses me back for a moment and then laughs against my lips. “Is that a yes—or?”

  I nod. “It’s a yes. I want to know every part of you. Even the ones you’re afraid of.”

  “I wanted to protect you from that,” he whispers. His voice is nearly broken, and I find myself on the verge of tears again.

  Instead of breaking down and losing it, I give him a small smile and gently cup the side of his face. “Well, I want to protect your heart.” I lean over and kiss him slowly. “Please, let me.”

  25

  In The Blood

  The vulnerability in her eyes paralyzes me. She’s scared, too. It’s not just me that’s terrified I won’t be enough. We’re both scared neither one of us is capable of providing the other with what they need. Maybe we’re not—or maybe we’re two perfectly flawed people with so many rough and torn edges they’ll fray and fit together beautifully.

  I gently smooth the hair back from her face and lean down to press my lips to her skin. “It’s yours, Elle.” I grab her hand and place it on my chest, and my heart pounds against it. “That’s not a question, that’s the problem.” I take an unsteady breath. “I’m so fucking in love with you that it brings out the worst part of me.”

  She shakes her head. “There isn’t a worst part of you. You’re a good guy—”

  “I’m not,” I say, cutting her off with a bitter laugh. Her eyes are incredulous when they meet mine, but I don’t falter. “I’m not, Elle. I had a shit life for most of it, and I struggle with the aftermath that it caused.”

  Elliot’s face tenses. She’s trying not to react to what I’m saying. I know she wants to protect me from judgment, but it will come anyway. A story like mine always does.

  I roll over on my
back and lace my hands across my chest. My eyes fix on the ceiling, so I don’t have to see hers while I speak. “Where do I begin?” I sigh heavily and the bed shifts beside me, and I feel her move closer. Her fingertips inch toward mine, and I slide my hand over to meet them. “I used to get in trouble a lot as a kid. Getting into fights at school or at a friend’s house—didn’t matter where really, I was usually hitting someone.”

  Another bitter laugh escapes me. “My father taught me how to fight. It mostly came from him beating on me, but I learned a thing or two.”

  I smirk at her in an attempt to lighten the mood, but she’s not amused.

  I sigh. “I was like this all through school until I hit ninth grade. I was gone more with soccer and stuff so that left more time for him to focus his rage on someone else.” I clench my fist and grit my teeth when I think of my mother. “I wasn’t going to let him hit her. You never raise your hands to a woman—especially not someone you love.”

  I risk a glance over at her, and there are tears in her eyes. Unable to stand it any longer, I turn on my side and tuck her into my chest. “I would never hurt you, Elliot. Ever.”

  “I know,” she whispers.

  I lean back so I can see her face, gently cupping her check. “You have to know that. Everything I do is to protect you. The way he acts—I don’t like it. It fucking scares me.”

  She leans back from me a little, and I move my hand down to rest on her hip. “Judah’s not scary, he’s sad.”

  I shake my head. Sadness leads to anger and anger leads to violence. It’s only a matter of time before he loses his shit, and I’m not going to stand around and wait for it to happen. Especially since she’s with me now. It’s my most important job to keep her safe.

  “Sad or not, it’s not right the way he was acting.” I press my finger to her lips when she starts to protest. “What I did wasn’t right either.” I lower my hand. “I know that.”