“How about a compromise?” Calista suggests. I look at her inquisitively. “You stay here for now to get the team set up, and when they can operate without you, we’ll release you for a few days to travel to Greece. I will assign some of our troops on the ground in Connecticut and New York to try to locate your family and your friend. Is that acceptable to you?”
I want to say no, because my yearning to be with Ari is driving me hard. But I know that would be foolish. I’ll need their cooperation to ensure the safety of my family and to organize my passage to Greece.
“It’s only a couple of weeks,” Malcolm whispers beside me.
“That’s acceptable,” I concede. “Thank you.”
“Very well. I’ll get things set up on my end, and if you’ll follow me, I’ll show you to your project room.”
Calista leaves me alone in the room with Malcolm. We only have a few minutes before my team will start to arrive. “Why did she leave like that? Without even saying goodbye?” The words hit him like a snowball in the face.
“There was no time. I needed to get her out immediately. We’d received word that the government had started targeting the Velo exit points they are aware of. If they hit the southern Italian gate, then I would’ve had to move Ari via a roundabout route, adding considerably to her journey. I couldn’t do that to her in her condition. It was critical that I moved her out as soon as we received the intel. If it’s any consolation, she wasn’t happy about it. She wanted to say goodbye to you.”
Some of the tension seeps out of my shoulders, though his statement doesn’t explain why she’s blocking me from accessing her mind. “Did she ask to say goodbye to him?” I know I shouldn’t pose a question when I’m not prepared for the answer, but it’s out of my mouth before I can question the wisdom of asking it.
“Yes, she did.”
I grind down on my teeth and try to ignore the sour taste in my mouth. Of course, she would want to talk to him too. It doesn’t necessarily mean anything.
“She asked me to tell you that she was sorry for leaving as she did. But she’s also asked that you not contact her until she’s ready,” Malcolm explains.
“What?” It feels like my heart has stalled in my chest.
“She needs a little time to work things out.” He clutches my shoulders and looks for understanding in my face.
Crap. She’s already having doubts. I thought our reunion was all the proof she needed that we’re meant to be. Clearly, I was wrong. “I’ll respect her privacy for now, but I’m still going to Greece to talk to her as soon as it can be arranged.” I refuse to back down on this. We need to talk face to face.
“I understand how you’re feeling, Zane,” Malcolm says, drawing my attention back to the conversation.
“No, Malcolm. I don’t think you do. She is everything to me. Everything.” I stare earnestly into his face.
“I do understand.” And then it hits me, and I feel like such an insensitive jerk. I’m too caught up in my own head. The poor man has just lost his wife, and I was around them long enough to know that she was his everything too.
“Malcolm, I’m so sorry. I wasn’t thinking straight.”
He slouches low in his chair and angles his head. “It’s more than just that.” Then he tells me a story that blows my mind.
When he’s finished talking, I flop back in my seat, mouth agape. There’s an intense surreal quality to the whole situation. No one could’ve predicted what was about to come out of his mouth. I’m dumbstruck, and after everything that’s gone down recently, that says a lot. Now that I know about his past with Commander Remus and the knowledge of Deacon’s parentage, it sheds extra light on the obvious tension between Cal and Ari and goes a long way to explain the dejected look that has taken up permanent residence on Malcolm’s face.
“I wish Anneka were here, because I feel ill-equipped to deal with Nate on my own,” Malcolm confesses. “He isn’t going to let it drop. When we first arrived on Novo—after we had all found out—he demanded access to Deacon. But we couldn’t permit any relationship between them. Deacon was too young and he’d already gone through a life-changing experience. We didn’t think it was fair on him, and my views haven’t changed. I still believe that’s the case.” He sits up straighter in his chair. “I know I can’t stop him from forming a relationship with Deacon, but if he finds this out now, it’ll shatter him. The more I make this point, the firmer Nate’s resolve is. I don’t know what else I can do.”
I know how destructive Commander Remus can be, and he’s a cold-hearted son of a bitch. One only has to look at what he’s done to his three children to know that he won’t be a good influence on Deacon. If I were in Malcolm’s shoes, I’d feel exactly as he does. “What about Mel? She appears close with Deacon, and she’s the most levelheaded of all of them. Perhaps you could get her on your side, to help influence her dad?” I suggest.
Malcolm looks pensive. “I knew I was right to confide in you,” he says, a tight smile on his face. “That might actually work. She appears to care deeply about him, and she seems like a lovely girl; however, I don’t think she has much sway over her father.”
“Perhaps not, but Cal might. If you can convince Mel to convince Cal, then you might have a shot.”
The door bursts open and a few familiar faces appear in the room. Ben wiggles his fingers at us both. Malcolm rises swiftly as I usher the others in, shooting him an apologetic look. “Thank you, Zane.” He looks like he wants to say more, but the moment is gone. He claps me on the back and leaves.
It’s late by the time I leave Command Center. There wasn’t even a gap to eat dinner. If Ari were here, she’d berate me for taking such poor care of myself. When I become immersed in technology, it’s as if the outside world ceases to exist.
I snatch a ready-made wrap, bottle of water, and an apple from the cafeteria on the way back to my apartment. An unwelcome sight greets me at the door. Cal is slouched on the ground waiting for me. I’m in no humor to suffer him. “I haven’t heard from her,” I tell him before he asks.
“That’s not why I’m here.” He pulls himself into a standing position and dusts down his pants.
“I’ve had a long day. This will have to wait until morning.” The door glides open and I step into my apartment. Cal brushes past and stands in front of me. “I don’t remember inviting you in.” I place my bottle, apple, and wrap on the table and take a glass out of the small overhead cupboard.
“This won’t take long. I know you know what she’s hiding. I need to know what’s going on.”
Damn, he’s far more observant than I’ve ever given him credit for. “I’m not talking to you about that.” I sit down and remove the plastic cover from my wrap.
“You’re loving all this, aren’t you?” He stands with his legs apart, his arms folded in front of him.
I drink thirstily and take a bite of my wrap. The food tastes like sawdust in my mouth. I can feel the heat radiating from Cal, and I know it isn’t wise to antagonize him. Besides, I’m tired and I just want him to leave. “No. I’m not loving the fact that she is so upset and confused. And if I thought that telling you might help her, then I would.” He snorts. I look up at him. “I don’t care whether you believe me or not. I’m not betraying her confidence because it’s not my secret alone to share.” I bite into the apple and ignore him, hoping he will just take the hint and evaporate.
Like, permanently.
“Goddamnit!” he yells, thumping the table. My glass slides off the top and smashes on the tiled floor.
“Cal! What on earth is going on?” Mel asks, unexpectedly joining the party. It’s only then I realize that the door is still open.
“Can you please ask him to leave?” I implore. Her long blonde hair is scraped back off her face, pulled tight in a ponytail. She wears the standard issue soldier uniform and it looks good on her. Though it’s only been a couple of weeks since I last laid eyes on her, she’s changed. There’s an air of maturity about her that’s new.
I suppose learning some of the stuff she’s learnt recently is enough to age anyone.
Her eyes dart between us, no doubt taking in Cal’s aggressive stance and my world-weary look. “Cal, I think you should leave,” she says, her arm wrapping around his.
“What?” He turns on her, eyes flaming.
“You need to calm down and Zane looks tired. He is still recovering from a heart transplant operation in case you had forgotten. Surely you can pick this up again in the morning?”
“Please don’t tell me you’ve joined his fan club too?” He removes her hand from his arm.
“Cal, please. Come on—I’ll walk you home.” She tugs on his sleeve again, unfazed. Turning one final time to glare at me, he stalks out of the room, bringing all the bad energy with him. Mel follows hot on his heels. She smiles apologetically on her way out. Getting up, I push the button to shut the door and breathe a sigh of relief.
I manage to avoid Cal over the next couple of days, and he steers clear of me too. But it’s only when Ben tells me that he’s above ground on assignment that I finally start to relax. Ari is still shutting me out, and I’m trying not to read too much into that. But it’s difficult, because she has never knowingly excluded me for such an extended period of time. I worry what it might mean.
As one week turns into two and two weeks turn into three, my unease skyrockets. I begin an almost daily round of pleading with Malcolm. He understands and he is doing all he can to organize the trip, but there are significant security concerns at some of the gates, and they won’t do anything to jeopardize my safety. There is nothing I can do but sit and wait.
It’s the worst form of torture, particularly since Ari is deliberately blocking me, and I know, without a shadow of doubt, that something is most definitely wrong.
I don’t understand it. The last time we were together, it was almost like old times, as if we were finally on the same page. Every day that passes means she has more time to mull it over and more time to feel guilty about him.
She can’t love him more than me. Surely, our shared history overrides any feelings she might have for someone she’s only known for a few months. We have a real connection, Ari and I. A connection that is built on the foundation of friendship, one that transcends attraction and lust, a true relationship that signifies how deep our feelings run, the strength of our love.
I try to cling to that notion, to hold onto my hope that it’s enough. But as more time passes, fear creeps up my spine and inner demons whisper soul-destroying thoughts in my ear. What if none of our history matters anymore? Maybe he’s dug his claws in too deep, and despite everything she now remembers, he has claimed her heart.
I spend countless nights in fretless sleep, my unconscious mind debating all the reasons why she appears to be shutting me out of her life.
I throw myself into my work and my routine is pretty much: Work. Eat. Sleep. Rinse. Repeat.
When Ari and I were separated the first time—when she moved to Novo and I was left behind on Earth—I kept a mental time-check in my head. This occasion is no different. It’s been twenty-nine days, twelve hours, and fourteen minutes since I last saw her, when word comes.
I open the door and greet Malcolm. “You’re up. Pack a bag and meet me by the Velo station.”
CHAPTER 9
Malcolm bids me farewell at the Velo station in southern Italy, handing me over to Giovanni, one of the contacts he met during his time on the run from Clementia in Europe. Giovanni appears to be pushing fifty, his beard dotted with more gray than black, contrasting strangely with his smooth, hairless head. He takes one look at my light black jacket and insists that I “borrow” a jacket from his son. His son glares at me as his dad hands over a heavy brown jacket with several front pockets.
As we travel in Giovanni’s battered old van across the Italian countryside, the wind whistles through the broken, tatty canvas cover at the back, and it feels like I’m journeying through the Antarctic. Yanking the collar of the borrowed coat up over my neck, I imagine that I’m in the middle of the desert under a scorching hot sun. My attempt at mind manipulation sucks, and I shiver non-stop for what seems like hours.
When Giovanni pulls up outside a small fishing village on the edges of the Adriatic Sea, I step out of the van and I swear it actually feels warmer outside the confines of the vehicle. Giovanni hands me over to Fedro. I thank him and he wishes me a safe onward journey.
As I step onto Fedro’s boat, my mind regurgitates memories of fishing trips on Roseland Lake with Malcolm. They were good times. Simple times. When the most I had to worry about was keeping my friend Gil out of trouble and wondering where I’d bring Ari on our next date.
Fedro doesn’t speak any English but that suits me just fine. He hands me a thick, blue blanket and gestures to the small area underneath the deck. I descend the three steps into a messy cabin area. Swiping a pile of papers to one side, I clear a length of the bench and lie down.
It doesn’t take long for the exhaustion of the journey to catch up with me, and I fall asleep almost immediately despite everything that’s screaming for attention in my head. The swaying motion of the boat rocks me to sleep, and though I wake several times, I quickly drift back into unconsciousness.
Large hands clamp down on my shoulders, and I jolt upright, my heart rate rocketing in sudden alarm. Fedro gesticulates with his hand, and I get up and follow him off the boat.
This time I’m passed over to Aldo who smiles as he hands me a helmet. He barely speaks any English either, but he knows enough to confirm that we’re in Greece, on the island of Kos to be exact. Geography was never my strong point in school so I’m grappling in my head to position the location. Not that it matters. All that matters is that Ari is here, and it won’t be long before I see her beautiful face.
Hopping on the motorbike behind Aldo, my hands grip the edge of the seat. As we wind up tapered streets that become steeper and narrower, his erratic driving skills force the bike to wobble dangerously from side to side, and it’s not long before my hands circle his waist firmly. We travel for approximately twenty minutes until the bike slows down as we pass through a tree-lined paved road at the entrance to a small village on higher ground. Sheer mountainous terrain borders the sleepy village at the rear, and a stunning view of the sea is visible from the elevated ledge in front of the small village square.
He kills the engine in front of a low, broken brick wall that encases a narrow cobblestone path. Taking a step onto the path, he gestures for me to follow. We walk for about a half-mile on the dusty, gravel-strewn path. My foot crunches the gravel underfoot, and I slip several times on the uneven surface. Tilting my chin, I spot a little old church on a raised hilly section at the top of the village, a small silver cross affixed to the top of the structure. A delicate citrusy scent mingles with a sharper bitter smell as we pass a variety of different trees.
A narrow set of whitewashed steps appears in front of us, bordered by freestanding pots painted in blue. An abundance of brightly colored plants overflows the pots, and the sweet smell adds to the other delicious scents lingering in the air.
We pass a row of small, whitewashed houses, their window and door frames all painted in blue. I wonder briefly if there’s some specific village order that requires everyone to use only blue or white paint. Expecting to enter one of these houses, I’m surprised when Aldo continues on. We trudge up the incline for maybe another quarter mile, before his pace slows down.
I squint at the one-story building with rear annex that looms in front of us. The roof is tiled with red slatted brick and the walls are painted yellow; totally at odds with the white and blue color scheme of the village below. Upon closer inspection, I notice the paint is peeling in large sections, giving off an air of ill repair.
Ari darts out of the annex at the back of the house and skids to a halt when she sees me. Butterflies tumble over themselves in my chest. I’m sucker-punched. It’s the same effect she always has on me. We stand stock-still, surveying each
other briefly. Even from this distance, I detect the smattering of freckles that dot her nose and cheeks, and her lightly tanned skin is glowing with vitality. Her eyes look clear and startling blue under the glare of the sun. Though she’s wearing a loose, white knee-length cotton dress, I can still detect the obvious swelling of her mid-section, and I have to forcibly pry my eyes away. It’s a blistering reality check, and it’s almost too painful to look at her even though she looks so well and better than I’ve seen her look in ages.
This was the right decision for her.
Aldo glances at Ari and then back at me and raises an eyebrow. I nod and smile. He slaps me on the back and makes a swift U-turn as he discreetly exits.
Ari takes a step toward me, slowly at first, and then she breaks out in a run. I wriggle out of my backpack and drop it on the ground. Rushing to meet her, I sweep her up into my embrace. The smell and feel of her wrap around me, and I hug her tightly to my chest. Burying my head in her hair, I ingest her wholeness and I feel complete. We stay like this for a couple of minutes until I feel her easing out of my arms. I step back and look at her.
“I missed you,” I admit. She stares at me intently. I lean in, my mouth poised to capture hers. Planting her hands on my chest, she holds me at arm’s length. Raw pain shreds my heart.
“We need to talk,” she says, wetting her lips. “How long are you here for?” Raising her hand to her forehead, she shields her eyes from the glare of the sun.
“Just under two days.”
“Okay, good.” She smiles but it doesn’t meet her eyes. “Come meet Raina’s yaya, Aggie. She told me you would visit.”
“Yaya?” I ask.
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