“It’s the term the Greeks use to refer to grandmother,” she explains.
Ignoring the searing pain brought on by her unexplained rejection, I dip down, scoop up my backpack, and follow her into the house.
It’s much darker inside, the tiny windows not letting in enough of the Mediterranean sun to lighten the space. I sniff, inhaling a strange musky, spicy scent that reminds me of cinnamon and cloves. An old battered wooden table and four rickety chairs with bright red and yellow cushions occupy most of the floor space in the compact kitchen. Ari walks past me into a larger room with an orange-red tiled floor and two large blue couches. A modest gray stone surround encases an open grate. I’m surprised that the house would need a fire, but I guess the climate isn’t always this glorious.
A tiny, gray-haired woman lies horizontal on the smaller of the two couches. Her eyes are closed and her legs bunched up at the knees, a thin shawl trailing the ground. Ari kneels down in front of her and places a hand on her arm. “Aggie,” she says softly. “He’s here.” Lifting up the shawl, she places it over the old woman’s shoulders.
Aggie sits up stiffly as her eyes whip open. Set within a face that is deeply lined and peppered with clusters of brown patches, her lips are paper thin, wrinkled, and pinched, but her eyes are sharp and crystal clear as they latch on mine. “Help me up, dear,” she says in a croaky heavily accented voice. Ari puts an arm around her back and helps her to stand.
Aggie hobbles toward me, and I help to support her while she repositions herself beside me on the larger couch. She cups my face. Her eyes shut and I feel the pressure from her fingertips as they dig into my skin, her touch surprisingly firm. Opening her eyes after a few minutes, she smiles widely at me and relaxes her hold. Dropping her hands into her lap, she takes my hands in hers. “We’ve been expecting you, Zane.”
“Oh?” It’s all I can think to say.
A throaty, hoarse chuckle escapes her mouth. “You are very important, young man. But you came here for a different reason, did you not?”
I glance at Ari, feeling uncomfortable in my own skin, though it’s most unlike me. Something about this little old lady is totally unnerving. “I’m going to take Zane down to the olive grove. Do you need me for anything, Aggie?” Ari asks, no doubt picking up on the unique vibes I’m sending off.
“No, child.” Aggie struggles to push off the couch. Placing my hand on her lower back, I help her straighten up. “Είναι ήπιο με το αγόρι.”
I haven’t a clue what she’s just said, but Ari seems to comprehend it, nodding quietly. I trail Ari into the kitchen and watch while she fills a jug with water, swiping two plastic cups from the cupboard under the sink. Wordlessly, I take them from her hands.
We leave by the front door and walk through a small grass path that leads to a large olive grove. A guy jumps out in front of us, from nowhere, and Ari shrieks. “Taylor! Knock it off! You scared the crap out of me.” She slaps a hand across her chest. “Jeez.”
Taylor is tall with dark brown hair that sweeps across his forehead and is shorn tight at the sides. He chuckles, displaying a dazzling set of pearly white teeth. There is no doubting my sexual orientation, but even I’d consider turning gay for this guy. He’s male model worthy. His honey-colored eyes are flecked with tiny specks of gold, and there’s a definite mischievous glint in his gaze as he gives me the once over. “The infamous Zane, I presume?”
I arch a brow at Ari. “Yes. And you are?”
“Technically Taylor is my doctor,” Ari starts to explain, “but he’s also a highly skilled tormentor. Isn’t that right, T?” Ari places her hands on her hips and gives him one of her special looks.
“Ah, sweetheart, I know you love me secretly,” he says, reaching out and mussing her hair.
“T, I swear to God, if you don’t cut it out, I’m gonna practice some of my new moves on you.” She glowers at him as she attempts to untangle her hair.
“Oh, I love the sound of that. Bring it on, sister!” Taylor throws back his head and laughs as Ari stamps her foot in frustration.
“Did you just stomp your foot?” My look is incredulous.
“It’s something that’s inevitable when T is around. Isn’t that right, buddy?” Ari says, swinging a playful punch to his arm.
Taylor stumbles back, clutching his arm as if he’s been shot. “Holy hell, what was that for?”
“Let’s call it a playful warning and leave it at that,” Ari deadpans. Taylor moves as fast as the speed of light, grasping Ari at the knees and placing her carefully over his shoulder. Ari thumps his back. “Put me down, T!”
“Nah. I think someone needs to cool off.” Taylor advances toward the house, and I decide it’s time for intervention.
“Actually, Taylor, Ari and I really need to talk.”
He spins around to face me. Ari seizes the opportunity, landing a semi-hard punch at the midway point of his back. Taylor curls forward and Ari slides down. “Okay. You win,” Taylor says in a breathless voice. “Ow, that actually hurt.”
“Shoot, are you okay?” Ari asks, concern etched on her face.
Taylor straightens up, bowing his back. “I’m fine. Man, I’m so staying on your good side from now on.”
Ari grins and shoves him playfully. He shoves her back, and I stand looking at them, utterly confused. Ari notices. “T isn’t so bad—most of the time—provided he reins in his ego.”
Taylor winks and Ari rolls her eyes. “You headed to the usual?” Taylor asks, all hint of amusement gone.
“Yup. I want to show Zane the view.”
“Well, I’ll leave you to it then. Nice meeting you, Zane. See ya later.” He saunters off, humming a tune under his breath.
“He’s the doctor? Seriously?” My skepticism is based on two observations: One, he looks far too young to have gone through med school, and two, he’s clearly a big kid trapped in a grownup’s body.
“We were just messing about. He’s actually a great doctor. Apparently he was somewhat of a child prodigy,” Ari explains. I make no attempt to smother my surprise.
Ari weaves between trees, only stopping when she comes to a small wooden structure at the bottom of the grove. She plonks down in one of the wooden deck chairs, motioning for me to sit. I sit down, placing the jug and cups on the table positioned between us.
Filling a cup, I pass it to her. “Thanks.” Her fingers graze mine and I feel the usual jolt of electricity whip up my arm. I pour myself a glass and settle back in my chair to admire the view.
We can see all the way to the coast and the surrounding islands in the distance. The terrain is an unusual combination of barren land interspersed with large pockets of green vegetation, rising boulders, and clusters of little towns. It’s a lot greener than I’d anticipated, and I’m surprised to see so many sections of forested land. The ground at the coast is flattened and empty for several hundred feet. A large mountain rises to the right, partially blocking the late evening rays of the sun. The air is hot and heavy, and there’s minimal breeze at this altitude to lessen the humidity. My T-shirt is stuck to my back and I long to whip it off, but I don’t think Ari would appreciate that. Maybe you should do it anyway.
“That’s an old volcano,” Ari says, noticing the direction of my gaze. “It’s been dormant for years.”
“Glad to hear it,” I admit, flipping my gaze back around. “It’s nice here. Peaceful.”
“I know. I like it. Didn’t think I would, but it’s pretty perfect right now.” There’s a dreamlike quality in her stare.
“How is your training coming along?” I wince at the formality in my voice.
“Good. We can only train for a few hours each day, as Aggie tires very easily, but I’ve already learned so much. I’ve been working on controlling my emotions and blanking my mind so I can focus on wielding the full power of my gift. She’s an Anagnosti too and the things she can do …” She stares off into space. “It’s amazing.”
Raina was the first one to explain w
hat an Anagnosti was. The literal translation means “soul reader” but an Anagnosti is much more than that. It’s a multi-faceted gift bestowed on the most powerful psychics in our world. Once fully trained, Ari will be able to see into the future and physically manipulate the environment around her. Add this to her existing ability to communicate silently through her mind and her gift for sensing emotions and thoughts in others, and she will definitely be a force to be reckoned with.
“I always felt you had a very special gift.” I sneak a peek at her, and she looks so beautiful it physically hurts. “I’m glad you’re learning how to use it.” I swallow the painful lump in my throat.
“Me, too.”
We exchange looks and unspoken words hover in the space between us. Neither one of us speaks. She drops her eyes first, staring at her feet.
I can’t remember a time when we were ever this awkward around one another, and I hate it.
One of us has to be brave enough to start the discussion. It might as well be me. “So, what’s going on, Ari?”
Titling her chin, she stares at me, her eyes drilling into me as if she’s drinking in a lifetime’s worth of memories with that one look. “I’m glad you came.”
“You are?” I’m fairly surprised because all I’m picking up so far is apprehension. “It doesn’t seem that way.”
She sits up straighter, leaning onto her knees. “I didn’t want to leave without saying goodbye, but Dad all but frog-marched me out of the compound.”
“I know,” I say, resting my arms on my legs in a similar pose. “Your dad explained. And I knew you wouldn’t have voluntarily left like that.”
“I remember everything about that morning with Siva,” she says quietly, her face contorting unpleasantly.
Okay, so she wants to talk about this first. I can do that.
“What happened was not your fault.” Reaching out, I take her hand. Her fingers curl around mine, and some of the tension around my heart lifts.
“You’re wrong, Zane. But not for the reasons you think. Everything that has happened the last few months is all my fault. It’s all on me. Because of him.”
I frown because I don’t understand. “What exactly are you saying?”
“When I got to Florida, Calista told me that Micha Kloon had some sort of personal vendetta against me. I didn’t understand it then, but thanks to my regained memories, I’ve been able to piece it back together.” She shifts in her seat, angling her face closer to mine. My heart rate accelerates and I have to caution my body to calm down. “Cal and I also discovered that Micha Kloon is married to Zolt Rada.” My eyes widen in surprise. Zolt was one of the Commanders on Novo and the guy charged with running the pageant Ari was forced to participate in. “We found their wedding photo,” she continues, “and there was a little boy in the picture. Something was poking at my memory, but I didn’t connect the dots.” She exhales deeply and closes her eyes.
I’m struggling to see where she’s going with this. “And?” I prompt.
She opens her eyes. “Siva is their son, or Micha’s at least. I think.” Her brow furrows.
“What? How? He didn’t share either of their surnames.” I clasp both her hands tightly.
“I know, but he is definitely the boy in the picture. I’m one hundred percent on that. That’s the connection, Zane. This has all been about me. My mom’s death is on my hands.”
Her voice quivers. Getting up, I kneel in front of her. “No way, baby. This is not your fault.”
“Stop it, Zane!” She springs up out of her chair. “Stop trying to protect me. I’m sick of all of you doing it. I need to face up to this. I killed someone, Zane. Yes,” she says, hands raised as she spots my mouth ready to object, “it wasn’t intentional, and it was self-defense, but I covered it up. I said nothing to no one. Somehow, Micha found out and now I’m being persecuted. Everyone I love has paid the price, all because of me.”
She stares out to sea, a forlorn look on her face. I stand up and edge in close. “You have paid a price too,” I say softly. “I watched you disintegrate in front of my eyes after it happened. You must remember that now? The guilt was eating you alive. It was the one thing about the move to Novo that could be considered a blessing, because you didn’t remember that anymore. It gave you freedom from that pain.” I touch her arm at the elbow, beseeching her to agree.
“I started this whole chain of events, Zane. I don’t deserve freedom from pain. My dad was under scrutiny because of me! What happened to Mom and Lily, you, Cal, all of it was because of me! How can I ever stop feeling guilty for that?” Steely resolution is reflected in her gaze. I know that look and I don’t like it.
“Whatever you’re thinking of doing, don’t do it. You have no proof of any of this. This may not be about you at all. How could Micha have found out, Ari? Only four people know what happened that day, and one of them is dead. Neither your father nor I have told a soul, and I’m damn sure you haven’t either.” Her face is so close to mine that I’m personally acquainted with her newly acquired freckles. The craving to touch her is like an itch I can’t scratch.
“Someone saw the memory when it was being wiped. You wouldn’t know this, but they examined our memories in order to determine which ones needed to be hidden. That has to be it. Either she was there or Zolt. That’s got to be it.”
“Let’s say you’re right, and it’s true. It doesn’t change anything now.” A stray strand of hair whips across her face, and unconsciously, my fingers push it behind her ear.
She reaches up and takes my hand, closing it around her face. “Perhaps not. The damage is already done. But I have to find a way of making amends. I deserve to be punished.” Her fingers smooth up and down my hand and I tremble all over.
“You’ve been punished enough, Ari. Letting go of this was always the issue.” My eyes bore into hers as I offer up a silent prayer to God to let it be enough.
“I don’t know, Zane.” Extracting her hand, she sinks down in the chair.
“Why did you shut me out?” I blurt out, unable to contain myself any longer.
She stretches her legs out in front of her, crossing her feet at the ankles. I kneel down beside her. “I needed time to think, alone. Being here has given me perspective I sorely needed.” She clasps my hands and raises them to her lips, planting a light kiss on my skin. My whole body shudders at the contact, and instinctually, I lean in, pressing my lips to hers. She closes her eyes and kisses me tenderly before quickly pulling back. Caustic pain carves a slice out of my heart. Rocking back on my heels, I move over into the adjoining chair.
“I won’t play games anymore, Ari.” I pin her with a serious look. “I thought I was dying, and I’d made my peace with that. But I got another chance, and I’m not going to waste one minute of it. If you don’t want to be with me, then you need to tell me out straight. Because I will not back down if you still love me. I love you with every fiber of my being.” Stretching over her, I hold her face fiercely. Her eyes widen in surprise. “When I said, ‘Always and forever,’ I meant it. But if you aren’t feeling that anymore, then fine, I’ll walk away. But you need to tell me the truth.”
“Oh, Zane,” she whispers, her hand fumbling at her neck, seeking out the locket I once gave her. Her hand clutches the empty air. “I will always love you. Of that you can be sure.” My heart soars and I move in, but she raises a cautionary hand, sending my heart plummeting to my toes. “I remember it all. How much I adored you from the moment we met and how amazing it was to have you in my life.” She twists her hands in her lap and a pained look crosses her face. “But I can’t be with you anymore.” She chews on her lip.
“What? Why?” I’m struggling to connect those statements because they don’t make any sense. “Because of him?” I kick the dirt at my foot in frustration, anything to distract from the gaping hole that has just opened wide in my chest.
“In part, yes.” She reaches out, stroking my elbow and forcing my gaze to hers. “But that isn’t it, not reall
y. I mean, I don’t think he even wants to be with me now.” I open my mouth to protest, but she raises her finger to my lips, effectively silencing me. “Every time I look at you, I see what we did. It’s a constant reminder of the awful truth. I wish I didn’t feel this way, but I do. It’s how I felt in the months after it happened, but I never told you, because I loved you so much and the thought of not being with you was too horrific. But I’ve grown up now, Zane, and being here has forced me to confront reality. As much as I still love you—and I do—I can’t be with you anymore. It’s too painful.”
She looks straight into my eyes, and her anguish is plain to see. “All our memories are haunted. The poison had already set in, well before our separation. I need to move on, and I have my baby to think of now.” Her hands move to her stomach and her fingers splay wide over her bump.
I’d never stopped hoping that once she regained her memories she would come back to me. What I didn’t realize was that it would be the very thing to rip us apart forever.
I open my mouth to protest, to fight, but she jumps in there first. “Don’t. Don’t say it, Zane. There is nothing you can say or do that will change my mind. I know it’s unfair. Everything that has happened to us is unfair, but we can’t switch the clock back. This was never what I wanted for us, but things change. Plans change. People change. I’ve faced the reality of my destiny, and now I need to embrace that because there’s so much more at stake. I will always love you,” she says, her hands clasping my cheeks, “but our relationship is over.” Her face softens as her eyes probe mine. “You couldn’t have loved me better, Zane, but it’s time to let go.” She drops her hands and averts her eyes.
I expect a flurry of tears but there is none. There is sadness and grief and pity in her gaze but no tears. Not anymore. She has come to terms with this, accepted the decision, and I doubt there is anything I can say to change her mind.
But I’m going to try.
When I told her “Always and forever,” I meant it. I can’t live without her. I don’t know how to. Even thinking that thought causes pain of the worst kind to whip through my insides, slicing and dicing as it goes. “We can find a way for you to deal with it, and then it wouldn’t be a barrier anymore.” I’m clutching at straws here and she knows it. But I can’t walk away from her, not when I know she still loves me.
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