“I don’t think my dad even cared that my mom was gone,” Mel says in a shaky voice.
Way to go, Zane. Keep putting your foot in it, why don’t you? “Maybe he just couldn’t show it?”
“For years I thought he was incapable of showing anything even close to love. The only one who looked out for me growing up was Cal. I don’t know what I would’ve done without him. I hated my dad.” Her jaw clenches tightly and I feel her pain, but I also recognize that she used the past tense: hated, not hate. “Not just for how he responded after Mom’s death but also for his treatment of her while she was alive. He was horrible to her. Always angry, always shouting. Nothing she did was ever good enough.” She stops abruptly, exhaling deeply. I so regret opening up this conversation, though maybe it will be cathartic to get some of it off her chest.
Stepping toward her, I place my hand on her arm. “We don’t have to talk about this if it’s too difficult.”
“No,” she says, sniffling, “I want to tell you this. I haven’t spoken to anyone else about it with the exception of Cal. I was always too embarrassed to tell any of my friends.” She averts her gaze.
“Hey, I won’t judge.” I take her hand in mine, hoping to reassure her. Something sparks to life in her eyes, and a slight flush spreads over her cheeks. Oh, no. No, no, no. I hope she isn’t reading too much into this.
“I think my dad drove my mom to kill herself.”
My throat dries at her admission. I’d no idea how her mother died and I feel saddened for her. To have to deal with your mom’s suicide at such a young age must have been so confusing especially when there was no other parental support on offer. That she’s such a nice person is all down to her strength of character and the capacity of her heart. “But still, how could she do it? How could she leave us with him?” Tears roll freely down her face and my heart aches for her. Spying an empty pod behind us, I take her gently by the arm and pull her inside. We sit down on the bed, side by side.
“I don’t know, Mel. She must have been hurting so badly that she couldn’t think straight. I’m sure she loved you. It’d be impossible not to.”
She looks up at me through damp eyes and smiles. “I want to be in the military because of her. I swore that I would never get into a position where I couldn’t defend myself or stand up for what I believed in. I also did it for Cal, to stay close to him. He’s all the family I really have.” She chews on the corner of her fingernail.
Though I want to wring his neck for ruining my life, I have to begrudgingly admit that Cal has a good heart. “You two seem to share a special bond.”
“We do. I can never repay him for all he has done for me. Which is why it’s so hard to see him in so much pain now.” She scrunches her face, conscious she’s dragged Ari into the conversation again.
I want to say something, anything to end the uncomfortable silence in the room. But no words spring to mind.
“Is it truly over between you?” she asks, peeking up at me. My heart throbs painfully in my chest as I nod. “I’m sorry,” she whispers.
“So am I.” Dropping my chin, I stare at my feet. “I have to rethink my whole life because everything in my world centered around her,” I admit.
We are both quiet for a few minutes. “I’ve decided to forgive my dad,” she says, moments later. I look at her in amazement, wondering how anyone could be so charitable. “I believe him when he says he is trying to make amends. And now that I know about Ari’s mom, and Deacon, I understand it better. Not that it makes it right,” she rushes to assure me, “But it’s helped me feel more compassion toward him. Do you think that’s foolish?”
I look at the vulnerability and inherent goodness in her face, and I’m in awe of her decision. “Actually, I think that’s very brave.”
“You do?” She looks at me incredulously.
“Yeah, I do.” Flinging her arms around my neck, she presses into me, and I’m hyper-aware of the undercurrent in the air. Her fingers slip into my hair. I can’t let this go any further. “Mel?” She eases out of my embrace and stares at me expectantly. Her gaze drops to my lips and I curse my timing. “You understand that I still love Ari?” She nods slowly. “I can’t even consider being with anyone else.”
Her cheeks darken and she moves sideways, creating a gap between us. For one awful moment, I think she might cry, but she composes herself. “I understand.” Standing, she turns her back to me. “We still need to find Isla. Are you coming?”
I rise swiftly and follow her wordlessly out of the pod. The easygoing atmosphere has evaporated, and I don’t know what it is about me lately, but I can’t ever seem to find the right words.
I’m falling apart without Ari.
When we reach the western edge of the camp, we split up and head off individually to investigate. I spend the best part of an hour walking from pod to pod, showing the picture of Isla, and asking everyone if they have seen her. Every negative response enhances my frustration. When I spot Mel striding toward me, I look at her in anticipation. She shakes her head and I feel like hitting something. I meet Mel halfway.
“No joy either?” she asks when we reach each other.
“Damn it all to hell!” I yell.
“Zane?” a voice says behind me. “Bro? Is that you?” I freeze on the spot. It can’t be. I whip around fast, blood thudding in my veins. “Oh my God! It is you!” Gil says, running toward me.
We crash into each other and hug for a solid minute without speaking. “Man, it’s so good to see you.” I step back and give him the once over. “You look good. Not as ripped as usual, but hey, we all let our standards slip from time to time.”
He grins as he punches me in the arm. “And you’re still a dork!” He hauls me into a headlock and we jostle each other, shoving and pushing repeatedly.
“Should I be worried?” Mel asks.
That effectively distracts us. I straighten up, preparing to introduce Mel to my best bud, but Gil gets in there first. His eyes drink her in, and I spot the telltale glint in his eye. Here we go. Good to see he hasn’t changed. “Well, hello beautiful. I’m Gil, this dork’s oldest, wisest, funniest, and hottest—definitely hottest—best friend.” He takes her hand to his lips and kisses it. Old school charm. You can’t help but love Gil. Mel blushes sweetly, and I can tell that Gil is instantly sucker-punched.
“I see your addiction to blondes hasn’t waned in the slightest,” I tease.
“Even if I was cured, I’d be addicted all over again,” Gil says, winking at Mel.
She looks nervously from him to me and I take pity on her. “Mel, don’t mind this ass. He’s the biggest flirt this side of the galaxy.” I move beside her and shoot her a reassuring look. “He’s also my best friend, and we haven’t seen each other for years.” I divert my attention back to Gil. “I thought you were on Novo?”
“Long story.” His smile fades. “Can you stick around?”
“We’re here for a couple of days. I’m trying to find a friend of mine. Have you seen her?” I rip the photo out of my jacket pocket and show it to Gil.
“Isla’s a friend of yours?”
I rock back, startled. “You know her?”
“Know her as in the biblical sense? Or just know her?” Gil asks, the flirty look back on his face.
“Oh good God, you didn’t.” I cast a quick glance at Mel and sure enough, she’s blushing.
“Got to keep the man-bits in working order.” Gil smirks and I shake my head. Gil and Isla? Wow, can’t wait to hear how that came about.
“Eh, I think I’ll leave you two to catch up in private,” Mel says, shuffling awkwardly from foot to foot.
“Wait.” I reach out and grab her hand before she walks away. “You don’t leave my side. That was the deal. Remember? Your dad and brother will string me up if anything happens to you. I sure as hell don’t need any more grief from either of them. You feel me?”
She nods shyly. “Gil, do you know where Isla is now? I really need to speak to her.”
> “She’s on duty in Stafford, but she should be back in a couple of hours. I’m not up to much right now. Let’s hang out. We’ve tons to catch up on.”
I’m torn. I want to catch up with Gil but I’d rather not have an audience. Besides, I can tell he makes Mel nervous as hell and she’s definitely not equipped to manage him. However, I don’t want to hurt her feelings by off-loading her back to Malcolm.
Gil hasn’t been my best buddy for years for nothing. He gives a subtle nod to let me know he understands and then he takes control of the situation. “Mel? Let me introduce you to a few of the girls. Come on.” He tilts his head to the right. “I won’t bite. I promise.” He gives her his most innocent look.
And then ruins it. “Unless you want me to.”
“Gil,” I growl. “Behave.” He raises his hands and plasters the innocent look back on his face. Man, I’ve missed him so badly. And he couldn’t have come back into my life at a better time.
After we’ve left Mel safely in the hands of a couple of Gil’s friends, we head back to his pod. Gil swipes a beer out of a small, white refrigerator and hands it to me. I look at him shell-shocked. “How in the hell did you manage to find beer in the middle of a damn revolution?”
“I always have my priorities in order.” He smirks, twisting off the cap. I do the same and take a welcome glug. “I can’t believe you’re here,” he says, serious all of a sudden. “I thought I’d never see you again.” A muscle thrums in his jaw.
“I know.” I felt the exact same way. “Were you here the whole time?” He nods. “What about Jude? Emily?” I inquire, thinking of our other childhood friend and Gil’s girlfriend.
His hand stills halfway to his mouth, and he puts the bottle back down. His face contorts. “They’re both gone.”
I want to ask how and when, but I don’t think I can handle it right now. We sit quietly side by side, both absorbed in our own thoughts. “To Jude,” I say, clinking my bottle against Gil’s. My voice has a hollow ring to it.
“For Emily,” Gil says, tapping his bottle against mine. We both draw large gulps before turning to face one another.
“Where’s Ari?” Gil asks and his face drops when he sees the expression on my face.
“She’s alive and she’s well,” I rush to reassure him.
Gil frowns. “I don’t understand. What’s up with the face?”
“We’re not together anymore.” I can barely breathe after vocalizing it.
“Shit, man. I’m sorry. Do you want to talk about it?”
I draw a deep breath and then do something I should have done years ago: I tell Gil what went down with Siva that fateful July morning. I talk non-stop for at least an hour, telling him everything that has happened to Ari and me over the course of the last two plus years. He listens without interruption until I tell him about Ari’s engagement and pregnancy and my coma and subsequent heart transplant. He jumps up in alarm, freaking out. “That is twisted shit. Jeez.” He scrubs a hand over his jaw.
Then I ask him to tell me where he’s been, and he explains how he refused to travel to Novo with his family because his dad hadn’t arranged anything for Syl. Syl was his family’s housekeeper for years, and she was more like a mother to Gil than his own mother. I’m not surprised that he would side with her instead of leaving for Novo with his family. I’m saddened when he explains that she passed away a year ago and that’s when he got involved with a group of local rebels.
“Zane!” Isla’s frantic plea reaches my ears, and I’m on my feet instantly. Gil unlocks the door and I step outside. Isla rushes me, almost knocking me over. Lifting her up, I swing her around as she sobs into my neck. She clings to me as I wrap my arms around her and close my eyes.
After a couple of minutes, I place her on the ground and step back, holding her at arm’s length, drinking in her wholeness. Her hair touches her shoulder blades and she’s lost some weight, but other than that, she’s exactly how I remember. She rubs her eyes and sniffles. “I thought you were dead,” she wails.
“Ditto.” I cup her face and spontaneously kiss her lips, pulling back before she can latch on. It’s not a romantic gesture and I don’t want her thinking it is either. I drop my arm over her shoulder and squeeze her into my side. “Thank God, you are okay. I was so worried about you.” I catch sight of Mel off to the side. She looks miserable and I can guess why. Isla peers at her and scowls. You have got to be kidding me.
Gil’s gaze flits between Isla and Mel. “I think you’ve been holding out on me, buddy.” He smirks. I shoot him a quick warning look and subtly shake my head.
“You two know each other?” Isla asks, eyes narrowing to pinpricks.
“He’s my oldest friend,” I explain, pushing a stray strand of hair out of her eyes.
“Wonderful,” Isla says, looking like it’s anything but.
I don’t know what’s going on with those two, but I don’t want to get caught up in the middle of another drama right now. “Can we talk somewhere privately?”
“Of course. We can go to my pod. It’s this way,” she says, dragging me along.
“Mel? Can you stay here with Gil? I won’t be too long.” She nods unhappily and I feel a pang of guilt, though I’m not sure why.
Gil moves over to her side and drapes his arm over her shoulders. “Come on, sweetheart. Let’s get better acquainted.” He winks at her and Mel almost physically recoils from him. Come to think of it, I don’t think I’ve ever seen Mel with any guy. It’s clear she’s uncomfortable around members of the opposite sex, or maybe it’s just Gil’s blatant flirtatious nature that is off-putting.
Shucking out of Isla’s embrace, I tug Gil around the corner of the pod. “I meant what I said before. Keep your grabby hands to yourself. She’s Cal’s younger sister, and I don’t need any more grief from him.”
He twirls the air above his head in a circular motion. “I’ll be an angel. Swear to God.”
Man, it’s so good to see Isla again. I’ve missed her friendship so much. We’ve been updating each other on what we’ve both been up to during the weeks of our separation. Isla explained how Dr. Hann helped her escape, only a few hours before the government blew up the compound.
She’s lucky to be alive.
We’re both lucky to be alive.
I’ve told her about my trip to Novo, my heart transplant, the President’s plan for me, and my eventual escape and rescue. I’ve tried to explain about Saoirse and the underwater Command Center, but it’s pretty difficult to describe it to someone who has never been there. I’m sure the look of incredulity on her face more or less matched mine the day I was told.
“Do you have any idea where Dr. Hann is now?” He was more than my doctor. He was someone I considered a friend. I’m worried for him.
“He was planning on tracking down his family in Texas.”
“I hope he made it.” I force my concern for him to the side. I’ve enough worries on my mind as it is. I have to trust that he made it there safely, that he’s okay. “How did you end up joining forces with local rebels?”
She tucks her hair behind her ear. “They found me, actually. I didn’t have many options so it seemed logical to join them. And I like it here. It feels good to be doing something constructive for a change. We were such fools to believe all that crap that Clementia fed us. We sat around for months not doing much.” She shakes her head. “That should’ve been clue enough to their motives. All the while, pockets of local resistance were springing up in cities across the states. That’s where we should’ve been.” She leans back and sighs.
“Everything is always clearer in hindsight,” I say, twisting around on the bed. “They were clever enough to manipulate us all into thinking they had a legitimate agenda. At least we know the truth now.”
“Do you think we can win?”
“Yes. I believe we can. Saoirse has formulated an attack strategy that targets the government on several levels. Provided we can hold our own while things are being progressed, then I th
ink we’ve a reasonable to good chance of success. They’ve assigned me to continue my IT project, and the team is starting to make good progress. I know they’ve suffered a setback on the ground with the knowledge that not all the Vitas can be removed, but they’re focusing on a workaround.”
“So, how long are you here for?” she asks, sitting up and stretching out her legs.
“I’ll have to leave in the morning. I just needed to see that you were okay, and you are.” I cup her face in my hand and kiss her forehead. “What are your plans? Will you come back with me?”
She purses her lips. “That depends.” She pins me with a strange look.
“On what?” I’m almost afraid to ask.
“Um. What about Ari?”
I throw my head back and inwardly groan. Twisting my head from side to side, I try to release some of my stress before the next layer is added. “Ari is in Greece working on her psychic abilities. And before you ask, we aren’t together. It’s over between us.” I deliberately look away, unwilling to gauge her reaction.
She gulps audibly before addressing me. “What about us?”
I decide to go with the easiest truth. Looking up, I stare into her face, noticing the hesitant expectation residing there. “I still love her, Isla. I can’t even consider being with anyone else.”
“Ever?”
I shrug my shoulders. “I don’t know how I’ll feel tomorrow, in a week’s time, a month’s time. I can only deal with the here and now. It’s one day at a time. But I will tell you what I’ve learnt from these last few months. Life is precious and we don’t know what is lying in wait for us around the corner. Live your life, Isla. Don’t wait for me because I don’t know if I can ever be there for you in the way you’d like.”
“What about you, Zane? When are you going to start living your life? If you’ve accepted that Ari and you are in the past, then why can’t you throw yourself into your future? Or are you going to spend another two years wallowing in grief? Sometimes, you need to take risks and just put yourself out there.”
Destiny Rising Page 16