“That’s not it at all.”
“No? Then tell me, why are you here?”
“Because I care about Ari and I want to see her happy. Being with you is what makes her happy, and you are throwing it all away, you damn fool!” His knee jigs up and down.
I stare at him stunned. Is this guy on the level?
“I know it’s unusual,” he adds, rubbing a palm across his chest, “But this whole situation is abnormal. She fell in love with you without knowing about her feelings for me. She’s been forced to cope with the supposed death of her father and then had to watch helplessly as her mom was killed. When her memories returned, she had to relive the horror of what’d happened with Siva, and on top of that, she’s pregnant and dealing with all that entails. It’s a lot to take in. She was totally confused and she made mistakes. Mistakes that have hurt all three of us. But I’ve known her longer than you have, and she is inherently good, inside and out. I know she didn’t intentionally set out to hurt either one of us.” He cracks his knuckles and slouches in the chair.
“I know she didn’t do this deliberately. That isn’t the issue. It’s whether I can forgive and forget.” I stretch my legs out to the side.
“That, I understand,” he says. I arch a brow. “It hasn’t been easy for me on the sidelines watching as the girl I adore falls in love with someone else. I still don’t know if I can forgive her for throwing all that we had away. But what I do know is that I’ll find a way to live with it because of how much I love her.” I notice the taut curve of his jaw, and it’s obvious how much he’s hurting. My hardened heart softens a little.
“I want her to be happy more than anything because she deserves it and because I love her. She wants you,” he says, prodding a finger in my chest, “yet you continue to push her away. You’re hurt—I get that—we’re all hurt, but you need to man up, buddy.”
He stands and I rise too. “If you can’t get over yourself to provide her with the love and support she needs, then you’re a bigger idiot than I thought, and you truly don’t deserve her.”
With those powerful parting words ringing in my ears, he leaves. I slink down into the chair as my brain attempts to decipher all that’s been said.
A few hours later, muscles corded with tension, I know what I need to do.
PART IV – ARIANA
CHAPTER 21
The view from the olive grove is breath stealing. No matter how often I sit here overlooking the terrain below, I’m always blown away by the beauty of the scenery. It really is picture-postcard-perfect—if you ignore the razed lower part of the island. Lucky for Kos that Aggie received an early warning vision and managed to get everyone to higher ground before the floods swept half the island away.
Footsteps echo behind me and my heart rate soars in anticipation. Turning around, I try to mask my obvious disappointment as I spot Taylor and Xander advancing. I’ve been jittery as hell these last couple of weeks. Every time I hear approaching footsteps, I jump to the illogical conclusion that it’s Cal. And every damn time, I have to revive my broken heart.
That I’ve managed to lose both of them is no one’s fault but my own, and I deserve every sliver of heartache I feel.
I’d been so sure that he would come after me, once he’d had time to calm down. Each passing day chips away at my hope until there’s barely a shred left.
It was obviously the final nail in the coffin. And I don’t blame him. The sheer force of his pain had been clearly visible in his eyes that last day back in Louisiana. I’ve hurt him too many times. I’ve kept so much hidden that he doesn’t believe a word that comes out of my mouth anymore. Ironic that just as I sort out my muddled emotions, and finally speak the truth, all he hears are the lies.
“Sup, girl,” T says, sliding down beside me.
“Nothing much, doc.” A stray strand of hair blows across my face in the early evening breeze.
“You sit here so often I’m surprised you haven’t taken root,” Xander jests, sitting down and brushing the errant hair behind my ear.
“It’s amazingly beautiful here. It will be hard saying goodbye,” I admit, stretching my legs out in front of me.
“I know what you mean. The remoteness makes it easy to pretend that what’s happening out there,” Xander says, with a flourishing sweep of his arm, “is all an illusion.”
“Think we’re about to get a reality check,” T acknowledges. “Are you sure you’re ready to leave?” He sprawls out flat on his back.
Lifting my head, I stare up at the fading light. “Yeah. Couple more days and my training is done. No point in delaying the inevitable.” Of course, I don’t admit that I’m more than eager to head back to HQ, as I desperately need to speak to Cal and see if there’s anything I can say or do to change his mind.
The next morning, Aggie and I travel in the backseat of Aldo’s tiny car to the beach. My trusty bodyguard hunches over in the front seat, his knees bouncing off the ceiling. I chuckle to myself. Having Xander here has been truly great. We’re helping each other come to terms with our grief. I didn’t know his twin brother Riga all that well, and he never had the chance to meet Mom, but we both understand the void that occupies a chunk in our hearts. Through Xander’s memories, I’m learning more about his brother, and he is hearing all about Mom. Even a few weeks ago, I didn’t believe I could ever sit and talk about her without the chainsaw-slicing pain in my chest. Funnily enough, talking about her actually helps.
Xander places careful arms underneath Aggie’s frame and lifts her gently from the car. I hand her walking stick over, and we amble in companionable silence to the beach.
“Focus your mind, Γλυκιά μία, and empty your emotions,” Aggie says, as I sit cross-legged on the sand in front of her. The one major takeaway from my time here is that if I’m to have any chance of utilizing my gifts to aid the revolutionary effort, then I need to rein in my emotions. Creating a blank canvas to allow my psychic abilities to flow through me is a skill I need to practice on a daily basis, especially considering I’m naturally prone to emotional outbursts and my pregnancy hormones often mean I’m moody as hell. Add in a seriously messed-up love life and channeling emotional calmness and stability seems like an insurmountable goal. But my determination to prove my worth overrides everything else, and I’ve worked damn hard to try to quiet my mind.
Aggie has given me all the tools I need to excel. Now, it’s all practice, practice, practice. Having mastered the ability to control my physical environment, the real challenge has been molding my visions in a way that enables me to use them to predict future events. It’s still a bit hit or miss, but there isn’t anything else that Aggie can do to guide me. It’s all on me from here on.
Emptying my mind, I sweep away all my emotions. Listening to the steady inhale and exhale of my lungs and the gentle whooshing sound of the sea soothes my frazzled brain. Calming quiet settles in my head and I feel at ease. Stretching my mind out, I reach with imaginary arms for any recognizable image. Spotting a familiar, hostile face among the myriad of images floating through my skull, I batten down my emotions and grab the vision to the forefront of my mind.
Micha and Zolt are arguing furiously in the center of a living room. Beige-colored walls surround the purple contrast wall, which rests behind a long, low brown couch. A black screen is secured to the far wall, the image frozen on the government seal. “I can’t support you with this, Micha. Enough is enough. It’s time to let it go,” Zolt says.
“You were always a pathetic, spineless excuse of a man,” she replies. “But I don’t expect you to understand. He was my son. MINE. And she took him away from me. Now I have nothing. She will pay, even if it’s the last thing I do.”
“You need serious help, Micha. Look around you,” Zolt gestures with his hands. “The world is on the brink of full-scale war and all you can think about is that girl? The woman I married would never have allowed herself to become derailed like this.” Micha’s hand whips across Zolt’s face and he stumbles
back. “If you walk out that door, there is no coming back. You’re on your own.”
“What’s there to come back for anyway?” she says, grabbing a large, black bag by her feet. “Everything I care about has already been taken from me.” She slams the door shut in his face.
The vision fades out and I slump sideways. Xander lunges forward and tugs me against his chest, his solid form steadying me. “That is the woman, yes?” Aggie says. I nod. “Then you must go.”
Xander’s brow is creased as he looks between us. “Care to explain to the non-gifted?”
“I had a vision of Micha Kloon and her husband Zolt Rada. They were arguing. She appears to be rather unhinged.” I bite down on my lip and titter with nerves before quickly composing myself under the glare of Aggie’s scary stare. No emotion, Ari, I caution myself. “She is hell-bent on exacting her revenge on me and he seems to have washed his hands of her.”
“Any fix on her location?” Xander asks, ever the protector.
“Actually, it looked like they were on Novo, but I could be mistaken. I only saw the inside of the house, but the interiors were typical of Novo design.”
“I’ll ask Aldo to make contact with your dad and see when we have a window to leave.” He hauls himself up, extending his arm.
I face the ocean while he attends to Aggie. I move my arms in sweeping motions and whip up the sea into a row of raised peaks. Channeling my inner drama queen, I leap from foot to foot and contort the water until the peaks surge and then crash, spraying all of us with a light mist of seawater. I squeal gleefully as droplets of water coat my skin and my clothes.
“Showoff,” Xander mumbles, mock punching me in the arm.
Spinning around, I grin smugly. “It’s my new party trick. It’ll never get old!”
“For you, maybe,” he says, wiping water off his arms and shaking damp jet-black hair out of his eyes. A half-scowl distorts his expressive lips.
“You’re such a wuss. It’s only water. We can walk back from the village square and you’ll be dry before we reach the house.”
I pick up some honey, figs, and yogurt in the small village square on our way back. The locals all wave as we pass, and a lovely warmth seeps into my bones. I’ll really miss it when it’s time to leave, especially the sense of community and the welcoming way in which I’ve been accepted with open arms. As much as I hate to admit it, Dad did the right thing banishing me here.
I’m not the same person that I was when I arrived.
The isolation of my surroundings and the impending birth of my baby has forced me to grow up: To pull on my big-girl panties and accept the reality of my life; to take responsibility for the things I’ve done that have hurt me and others; and to get over all the ways in which I feel I’ve been wronged.
Letting Zane go was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do.
But it was right.
I can’t continue to hide behind his shirttails. It’s time to stand on my own two feet and face the consequences of my actions head on. All those years I daydreamed of a future with him never realizing that our relationship was doomed before it even had a chance. All because of one day. One split-second decision.
And I’d told Zane the truth. It’s all I can see when I look at him now, and for both our sakes, we need to move on.
And then there’s Cal. My heart flutters wildly in my chest at the mere thought of him. Before, I couldn’t fully see how perfect he is for me. How he always knows when to rein me in and when to let me be. My protector and my liberator. I may not share a unique psychic bond with him, but our connection runs deep all the same, a special pull that draws us to one another.
Although I’ve finally made my peace with it all, I fear it’s come too late.
“What are you planning?” Xander asks, dragging me into the present. He points at the bag of goodies in my hand as we walk up the uneven, narrow cobblestone path toward Aggie’s house.
“Dessert tonight. Roasted figs with honey, almond, and yogurt.”
“Yum. Drooling already,” Xander says, licking his dry lips. “What’s the occasion?”
I suppose I could say nothing, but that wouldn’t be the truth. And I’ve pledged to be more honest in every aspect of my life. “It’s my eighteenth birthday, today,” I reluctantly admit.
“Get out!” He drapes his arm over my shoulder and levels a look at me. “Why didn’t you say anything before?”
“It’s not that big of a deal.” I shrug casually.
“The hell it isn’t! There’s not much to celebrate in the world right now, so we should grab any reason we can to throw a party.”
“No party,” I say firmly, pinning him with one of my trademark special looks. He pouts. “I mean it. Promise me. I don’t want any fuss.”
“You should at least have a cake.”
“My culinary skills just about stretch to figs and yogurt. That’ll do. No fuss,” I warn, drilling a finger into this chest. “Or you’re dead!”
I’m immediately suspicious when T practically locks me in my bedroom that night with strict instructions to have a bath and make myself presentable. I scowl at him as I vocalize loud protests, but he won’t tell me what’s going on, if anything. If they’ve organized a party, I swear, I’m going to sweep one or both of them out into the ocean for a nice icy bath. Ha! Let’s see how they deal with that. I deplore being the center of attention, and if they’ve done anything that requires me to pander to the masses tonight, I’ll swing for them.
Perched on the edge of the tub, while I stare numbly at the steady stream of water trickling out the faucets, I can’t stop my mind wandering. There was a time when I used to think that eighteen was ancient. Now that I’ve reached this particular milestone, it still feels awfully young. Though, when I contemplate all that this eighteen-year-old has experienced in the last six months alone, it feels more than ancient.
I ease myself down into the warm bath, my over-long hair dipping into the water and plastering to my skin. My hands gravitate to my swollen belly, and I lovingly caress my burgeoning baby bump. T seems pretty certain that I’m having twins, but we’ll know for sure once I get back to Saoirse HQ. I remember how hard it was to wrap my head around my pregnancy when I first found out, but I’ve fully embraced it now, and the fact that there might be two babies inside me fills me with tremendous joy. I can readily recall the moment everything changed.
I was here about three weeks when I felt the first little kick. It was the most profound thing I’ve ever experienced. Without warning, it hit me like a giant thunderbolt that Cal and I have created this precious new life, and I’m nurturing and growing it inside of me. Nothing can be more life changing than that. More importantly, I’ve had an abundance of time to think about my impending motherhood, and strangely, it’s helped me deal with my feelings about what happened with Siva.
Huge guilt still festers inside me but I can’t change the past. Zane and Cal are right about that. He forced me to take matters into my own hands that day, as a consequence of his actions. I was wrong to conceal the truth though my motivations were selfless. I can’t undo that now. Instead, I need to make amends so I can fully draw a line in the sand. When things have righted themselves with the world, I will find some way of giving back to the community in his name.
Sitting on the bed, I’m toweling myself dry when I become aware of a flurry of whispered voices outside my door. “Are you almost ready, Ariana?” T calls out, as I detect the distinct sounds of scuffling. What on earth are they doing out there?
“I’ll be out in ten minutes,” I reply, though now I feel like hiding away in here for the night.
“I have something here for you to wear. Can I come in for a minute?” T asks. More sounds of scuffling and whispered arguing.
Wrapping the towel firmly around me, I pad to the door and whip it open just as the drone of retreating footsteps reaches my ears. I tip forward to see what’s going on, but Taylor blocks the door with his large body and pushes me firmly back into the
room.
“Ew, outta my personal space, buddy.” I shove his chest with my hands. He slams the door shut with his boot.
“We got you a present,” he says, handing a bundle to me wrapped in pink tissue paper. “A pretty girl has to have a pretty dress to wear on her eighteenth birthday.”
Tears well in my eyes at such a thoughtful gesture. I remove the packaging carefully and suck in a sharp breath as I unfold the beautiful knee-length empire line dress. It’s pastel-pink-colored chiffon with tiny purple, cerise pink, and white butterflies dotted all over the material. A large frill edges the dress at the bottom and delicate straps wrap around the top of the dress, crisscrossing at the back. It’s exquisite and I’m sure my mouth is hanging open.
There is no way they found something like this on the island. They must’ve had this planned for weeks. My heart swells to bursting point and my emotions are in shreds. If Aggie is sensing this from outside, she’ll be disgusted with me. My eyes are glossy as I look at T’s sweet face.
“You like it, right?” he asks unsurely, his arm sneaking around my waist.
“Eh, duh!” I half-laugh, half-cry. “You guys knew this whole time?” I perch my chin on his shoulder.
“Something like that. Now get your pretty little butt into it.” His hand stalls on the door handle and he glances over his shoulder. “Dinner will be ready in ten minutes. Don’t be late. Some of us are a little bit impatient.” His voice raises an octave at the last part. He barrels out of the door before I can question him further.
The dress fits me like a glove, and it feels so damn good to be wearing something that not only looks good but fits me properly as well. My hair has already started to air-dry and it falls in natural waves down my back. Rummaging around in my cosmetics bag, I find a wand of mascara, some pink blush, and a tube of light pink gloss. After I apply my makeup, I stand back and survey my reflection. I barely recognize the girl who stares back at me. I look healthy and happy, and I positively glow from the inside out. Pregnancy really suits me. Who would’ve thought it?
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