Indelible

by Bethany Lopez

  I told Chris, our pitcher, I’d catch him tomorrow, and then headed out to my bike.

  “Judd!” Tuck yelled, following me outside.

  “What is it?” I asked coldly.

  “You alright?” he asked as he neared my bike.

  “I’m fine,” I answered sharply. “Now, I’m going to go and make sure that Sam and Karrie are alright.”

  Tuck nodded and turned to leave. Then he stopped and turned back to me to ask, “Are we okay?”

  He gestured back and forth between us, his face worried.

  “I don’t know, man,” I said truthfully. “I’ll let you know when I do.”

  Tuck nodded again, then turned on his heel and walked toward his car rather than back inside.

  I felt a tug of sadness as I watched his retreating back.

  Tuck and I had shared plenty of good times over the past few years, both on the field and off. I never imagined that we’d be in a place where I didn’t even want to look at him.

  I shook the feelings of melancholy off and put on my helmet. I hoped that Sam wasn’t still upset from this morning, and that she would open up to me.

  The thought of losing her was much more upsetting to me than the thought of losing Tuck. I decided I needed to really think about that.

  When had this girl become such an important part of my life?

  I felt much better after talking with Molly and James. I knew that I couldn’t punish Judd for Tuck’s decisions just because they were friends; I had just been totally shocked by the whole situation.

  I was feeling better and ready to hit the store and go grocery shopping for the upcoming week when I heard the sound of Judd’s motorcycle in front of the house.

  I opened the door and watched as Judd dismounted, took his helmet off, and started toward me. The smile on his face was enough to bring me to my knees. I wanted him to know that I wasn’t angry with him, so I threw my arms around him and kissed him enthusiastically on the mouth.

  Judd’s arms encircled me as he deepened the kiss.

  “Hey,” I said with a smile as I looked up at him.

  “Hey,” he responded. “You okay?”

  “Yeah,” I replied. “I was just taken by surprise this morning.”

  “No shit,” Judd said with a chuckle. “Me too.”

  I took his hand and we walked into the house.

  “I was just getting ready to go to the grocery store to pick up stuff for the week. Do you want to come?”

  Judd looked around before asking, “Where’s Karrie?”

  “She’s taking her nap. She’s been down for a while, so I was going to wake her up so that we could go.”

  “Why don’t I stay here with Karrie while you go to the store?” Judd asked, bringing my hand to his lips and kissing my knuckles softly. “That way you can get done what you need to and Karrie can finish up her nap.”

  I wasn’t sure if the butterflies in my stomach were from his touch or his offer.

  “Are you sure?”

  “Yeah, why not? It’ll be easier on everyone, and Karrie and I can spend some quality time together.”

  I was positive I was beaming at his words, amazed that he would be so sweet and thoughtful.

  “That would be great, actually. I can get done much faster if I’m on my own. Thank you so much!”

  I reached up and kissed him before rushing over to get my purse.

  “I’ll be quick, I promise,” I said.

  “Take your time, Sam. We’ll be fine,” Judd said as he walked me to the door. “You’re taking Molly’s car?”

  “Yeah. I have to get her grocery list and the car, and then I will drop everything off once I’m done.”

  “Okay, see ya.” He bent down and kissed me lightly on the nose.

  I hurried down the sidewalk toward Molly’s house. I looked back over my shoulder and saw Judd still staring after me. He was leaning against the threshold, thumbs in his pockets, watching me walk away. I smiled and waved, and my heart tripped when he lifted his head in a nod before turning and closing my door.

  Molly was outside planting flowers while Thomas drew on the sidewalk with chalk.

  “Hey, Molls,” I said as I approached.

  Molly turned at the sound of my voice. She had a shovel in one hand and some sort of bulb in the other. There was a cute smudge of dirt on her cheek.

  “Where’s Karrie?” she asked as she stood.

  “Judd’s watching her while I go to the store.”

  Molly’s mouth dropped in surprise. “He’s babysitting?”

  I smiled and nodded.

  “Well, I guess that proves he’s nothing like that tool bag Tuck,” Molly said.

  “No, he’s not, but I knew that already,” I stated. “I was just taken off-guard this morning.”

  “He really seems like a great guy,” Molly said as she fished the car keys out of her pocket. She handed it to me, getting dirt on my hand as she did.

  I made a face and wiped it off. “Yuck.”

  “It’s just dirt,” Molly said with a chuckle. She put her hand back in her pocket and came out with a piece of paper. “Here’s our list. Thanks, doll.”

  “No problem, see you in a bit.”

  I patted Thomas on the head and told him that his drawing was cool as I passed by on the way to the car.

  I rolled the windows down and turned the music up, enjoying the short trip to the grocery store. When I got there, I grabbed a cart and leisurely strolled down the aisles; I’d forgotten how much I actually enjoyed this chore.

  As I passed the meat, I decided to pick up a nice steak to grill for Judd. I could get some potatoes and corn on the cob and make him a home-cooked meal to thank him for watching Karrie. Sure, I would have to take some of the less important items off of my list to compensate, but the thought of cooking for him made me happy.

  I figured I’d better shoot him a text, just in case he had other plans. I didn’t want to assume he planned to spend the rest of the evening with us.

  “How does dinner sound? Karrie up?”

  I walked through the produce, lifting and squeezing, trying to find the best product.

  “Sounds great. Yup, she’s awake.”

  “Everything okay?”

  I selected a watermelon. Both Thomas and Karrie loved it, and I thought it would make a nice treat for them this week.

  “Perfect. We’re having a tea party.”

  I giggled loudly, clapping a hand over my mouth and looking around to make sure no one had heard me. I wished I was home to see Judd having a tea party. Karrie was fond of making her guests wear hats.

  “Haha, sounds fun. See you soon. Thanks, again!”

  “No problem.”

  Excited about cooking dinner and spending the evening with Judd and Karrie, I quickened my shopping process, crossing things off the lists as I went along.

  I picked up a six pack of beer, because I knew Judd preferred it to the wine I had at home.

  I bagged my own groceries, careful to separate Molly’s from mine as I worked. It made things much easier that way. Plus, it would save time and get me home sooner.

  When I got to Molly’s, I told her about the dinner as she and Bill unpacked their items from the car.

  “What’s the best way to cook a steak?” I asked Bill.

  “Don’t tell me you’ve never cooked one before,” Bill said, looking at me as if I’d grown two heads.

  I laughed at his expression and said, “I haven’t. I don’t make steaks for Karrie and I. I’ve never really had company over to cook for.”

  “Okay, it’s pretty simple. All you need is to season the steaks with salt and pepper. Ask him how he likes his steaks, probably medium. Then you cook it on each side for about five minutes. If he likes it more rare, take a few minutes off. If he likes it well done, add a few minutes.”

  “That sounds simple enough,” I replied, surprising Bill by grabbing him for a hug. “Thanks.”

  “You’re welcome,” Bill said. If I did
n’t know better, I’d think his face was a little red.

  “Alright, stop fawning over the grill master,” Molly said with a laugh. “I’ll drop you and your bags at the house so you don’t have to worry about bringing the car back.”

  “Thanks, Moll,” I said, pulling her in for a hug as well. “I love you both.”

  This time Molly didn’t have a smart aleck response; she just hugged me tighter and said, “We love you too, Sam.”

  I threw the floppy hat into the corner of Karrie’s room and slipped the bangle bracelets off my wrist when I heard the front door open. “Mommy’s home,” I said to Karrie when she looked like she was about to object to me ending the tea party.

  “Mommy,” Karrie squealed, almost tripping in her haste to run out of the room.

  Damn, that kid was cute.

  She’d woken up soon after Sam left for the store, and I swear, no one had ever acted so happy to see me before in my life.

  That little girl really tugged on my heart.

  We’d started off playing Barbies, and I was relieved when I found the tea party set and Karrie agreed to play. I’d much rather pretend to eat and drink than pretend to be a blonde chick.

  I cleaned up the tea set quickly, and then went out to see if Sam needed help with the groceries.

  “Hey Molly,” I said when the other woman walked in with a jug of milk and a brown paper sack under her arm. “Let me get those for you.”

  I grabbed the items and put them in the kitchen before jogging outside to see what else the ladies had to unload.

  “How was she?” Sam asked, gesturing at Karrie, who was trying to carry a watermelon up the steps.

  “Great,” I answered truthfully. I grabbed the rest of the bags and said goodbye to Molly, leaving the girls to their hugging and cooing. For people who saw each other every day, they sure did hug a lot.

  I was taking things out of the bags when Sam walked in.

  “I didn’t want to put anything in the wrong place,” I said to explain why everything was sitting on the counters.

  “Thanks for helping,” Sam responded, walking over to me and putting her arms around my neck. “I really appreciate it.”

  I took advantage of the situation and leaned down to taste her lips. “Mmmm, you taste good,” I said. I leaned in for another taste, nibbling lightly on her bottom lip as I pulled away.

  “So do you,” Sam said, her voice breathy and sweet, causing my body to respond in all the right places.

  “I’d better let you go so we can get this stuff put away,” I said, my voice low and rough with desire.

  “Okay,” Sam murmured as she leaned in to offer her lips to me again.

  “Mommy, wa’mln,” Karrie said from behind us.

  I let Sam go and turned to look at Karrie, who was pointing to the watermelon on the counter.

  “You want some watermelon?” I asked.

  Karrie nodded, her curls bouncing sweetly around her head.

  “Okay, do you want to sit in your chair or go play while I cut some up for you?” I asked.

  “Pay,” she responded sweetly.

  “Okay, you go play. I’ll let you know when it’s ready.” I smiled after her as she toddled out of the room, and then turned to see Sam staring at me. “What?”

  “You’re so good with her,” she said, her voice breaking as she spoke.

  I looked into her misty eyes and grabbed her by the shoulders. “You aren’t going to cry, are you?”

  She shook her head, but her face told a different story. I kissed her roughly, my tongue entering her mouth and exploring swiftly. When I pulled back, her eyes were no longer filling with tears. Her face looked flushed and her eyelids looked heavy. Good…I’d rather she be horny than about to cry.

  “Where do you keep your cheese?” I asked with a smile, waving the cheddar at her.

  We put the groceries away, and Sam showed me where the knife and cutting board were so I could cut up the watermelon for Karrie. As I cut, Sam started to prep the steak, potatoes, and corn for dinner.

  It was all very domestic, and I found that I liked it.

  I couldn’t believe how much my life had changed in a few short months. My dad was about to get out of rehab, there were scouts coming to my game, and I was in a serious relationship with a wonderful woman and little girl.

  I almost felt like a different guy than the one Sam had met that first night in the bar, when all I was concerned about was getting into her pants.

  When the watermelon was ready, I went and got Karrie and set her up in her highchair with a bowl of melon.

  “So, don’t you think we should talk about what happened with Tuck?” I asked her, broaching the subject we’d been able to avoid until now.

  Sam wiped her hands on a towel and picked up the meat. “Let me put these on the grill; it’s already getting dark. How do you like yours?”

  “Medium.”

  She was back in a matter of seconds, her face looking strained.

  “I’m sorry that I got mad at you,” she began. “I know none of it is even remotely your fault. You didn’t know that Tuck was the guy, and I shouldn’t hold your friendship with him against you.”

  “It honestly doesn’t even jibe with the guy that I thought Tuck was,” I said, leaning against the counter and looking outside at the darkening sky. “We never talked about kids, but we have talked about our plans for the future. I thought that we were pretty good friends, but I was totally taken by surprise. I can’t fathom the decisions he’s made.”

  I felt Sam come up behind me, and her arms went around my stomach. She laid her head against my back.

  “That’s because you’re a good man.”

  “I had always thought Tuck was too, at the core. I guess I was wrong.”

  “I’m sorry, Judd.”

  I turned so that I could wrap my arms around her and hug her back tightly.

  “Oh!” Sam exclaimed, jumping back. “I have to flip the steaks.”

  I smiled after her as I walked to the table to see if Karrie needed more melon.

  “Would you like to hear some good news?” I asked Sam as she walked back in.

  “Please,” she said with a laugh.

  “Coach told us that there will be scouts at our game this weekend.” I couldn’t stop the grin from spreading over my face. I got excited just saying it out loud. I couldn’t wait to tell my dad; he was gonna flip.

  “That’s wonderful,” Sam said, jumping up in the air and pumping her fist, a goofy grin on her face.

  I laughed at her exuberance.

  “I can’t believe it. We’ve had a great season, sure, but I never let myself hope that it would be good enough to get scouts interested.”

  “You guys deserve it.” Sam bounced over to me and kissed me soundly on the lips. “I’m so excited for you.”

  “I’d love it if you could be there,” I whispered against her mouth.

  “Nothing will stop me,” Sam said, her eyes intent on mine.

  In that moment, with the sounds of Karrie happily eating in her chair, the smell of meat on the grill, a beautiful girl in my arms, and hope for my future in my heart…I knew I’d never been happier.

  Today was the day of the big game. The scouts were in attendance, and since Judd really wanted me to be there, I was there. I was telling the truth when I said that nothing would keep me away. I was almost as excited as he was. Luckily, my mom had asked to come visit this weekend and agreed to watch Karrie for me, so it worked out perfectly.

  I was sitting in the bleachers, close to a couple of older guys in suits, and the game was going great.

  Judd was amazing. He was having the best game ever, and as I leaned in I heard the suits talking about him. They were comparing notes and talking about RBIs and other things I had no idea about. What I did understand was that they were scouts and they liked Judd.

  “I wonder if he’s a free man, ready to commit to a team,” one of the suits said to the other. “You know how difficult it can
be if they have baggage.”

  “Yeah, especially as much as they have to travel,” the other suit said. “It causes too much stress if they have a family to worry about. I think the coach said that this guy is single, and that he wants nothing in the world more than to play the game.”

  “Great,” the first suit said. “Makes the offer much easier to make.”

  I sat back in my seat, chastising myself for listening in. I guess that’s what I got for eavesdropping – the hard truth.

  Judd was up to bat and I went crazy, along with the rest of the crowd, when he hit a homerun. I saw the suits look at each other and smile before scribbling frantically in their notebooks.

  Once the game was over, I gathered my things and walked out of the park. I had a lot to think about.

  I’d spoken to Judd before the game to wish him luck and tell him that I’d see him back at the house later. I couldn’t wait around, since my mom was with Karrie and he was going to come by later to meet her.

  I used the time on the walk to think. I knew in my gut that they were going to offer Judd a position in the minor leagues. Just like I knew when I told him that I had to have a job and a stable life for Karrie, there was a chance he’d turn it down.

  That was just the kind of man that he was.

  I also knew that I couldn’t let him do it.

  “Hey Mom,” I said as I opened the door. “Was Karrie okay?”

  “A complete angel,” my mom said with a grin. “How was the game?”

  “Judd did great,” I said, tearing up. “I think they’re going to pick him up.”

  “Is that a good thing or a bad thing?” she asked, looking worried.

  “It’s a great thing,” I replied, the look on my face not matching my words.

  I sat down on the couch forcefully and looked at my mom, my eyes filling with tears.

  “Do you think Karrie and I could come back home with you? I’d like to stop by the school and see about that job opening.”

  “Honey,” my mom said in a tone perfected by mothers over the ages. “What’s going on? Are you sure that’s what you want?”