May had her bath and changed into her nightgown. She could hear Agni moving around in his room next door, and the thought of him being so close made her feel warm and comfortable. She knew she was becoming very fond of him; in fact, she felt really attracted to him. It had been a long time since she had slept with anyone, a long time before she and Matt had separated. She told herself to stop thinking like that, Agni was not available, and most likely only thought of her in a professionally, perhaps maybe even as a friend.
Her window overlooked the front entrance of the hotel, and she spent a long time watching the traffic, people coming and going, and across the park to the beautifully evening lit Kremlin opposite. It really was a magnificent sight, and she hoped that they might have time tomorrow to explore.
Finally, climbing into bed, she opened her book, looking in particular for the references to when the family was imprisoned in the city and the descriptions of what life had been like for them then.
A soft knock at her door interrupted her, and hopping out of bed, she opened it to see Agni standing there. He was wearing a fresh pair of black trousers and a snowy white shirt; his hair damp, beard freshly trimmed. Without any warning, May felt her heart jump in her chest, he looked so handsome standing there.
'I just wanted to make sure you were settled in,' he smiled. 'I hope I'm not disturbing you.'
'Not at all. I was just reading. Please come in.' She stood aside for him, and as he brushed past her, she felt a shock, like electricity, go through her. The hairs on her arms rose, and she felt the muscles in her belly and legs contract in desire. She had never felt such a physical reaction to a man before, and it shook her.
'Oh.' She sighed softly, both in surprise and pleasure, and he immediately turned to her.
'You felt that too?'
He didn't wait for an answer taking her gently into his arms. At the first touch of his mouth, May knew that she knew him and had done so for a long time. They kissed deeply, not wanting to let each other go. His arms were strong, holding her up; otherwise, she knew she would have fallen to the floor in a heap. He gently guided her over to her bed, and they fell on it together, still joined by their kiss.
He broke off, looking down at her, his eyes questioning. 'May, is this right?'
She reached up to cup his cheek, running her thumb along his full bottom lip. 'Yes.' She replied softly. 'This is more than right.'
They undressed each other slowly, touching and exploring, making love gently and without haste, their sense of wonderment and discovery of each other overwhelming. May felt as though she was drowning in his eyes, coming home to a place that she had been far from for a lifetime. They lay, holding each other, touching, kissing, whispering, and making love late into the night. May had never felt so fulfilled or so whole before. He completed her.
Agni woke her with a kiss in the morning, and they showered together, giggling as they soaped each other, slipping and sliding in the small shower box.
'I feel like a teenager again.' May laughed.
After breakfast, as they walked to the car, Agni reached out and took her hand. She didn't know where this would go, didn't want to think about it, this was her present, her future would take care of itself.
Agni parked opposite the house, and they got out of the car and walked up to the gates. It was, or had been a beautiful building; also made entirely of white stone, but had been allowed to grow shabby over the years. May marvelled at the ornate architecture, the classical detail of its design. She was surprised at how large it was; for some reason, she had pictured it in her mind as being quite small. So many windows, she thought.
'I wonder if we can go in?' she asked. The gates were locked, and the front entrance was closed. It looked empty.
'I very much doubt it,' Agni replied, rattling the obviously locked gates. 'I think it is used by a branch of the government these days and so will be off-limits.'
As they stood, leaning up against the fence, they were joined by an old woman. Her face was as round as an apple and creased with age, her wispy grey hair covered with a blue scarf. She carried an empty basket over one arm, in the other, a small posy of summer flowers. She reminded May of the old woman she had seen in Ekaterinburg; they could have been sisters.
They watched as she slowly bent down and placed the posy alongside the gate, then made the sign of the cross. She stood, quietly gazing at the house, her jaws working as though she was saying a silent prayer.
'Good morning, grandmother.' Agni said quietly after a few moments. 'Do you know this place?'
She turned to him and smiled sadly; her pale blue eyes bright and clear, bottom teeth missing.
'Yes, this is where the Emperor and his family lived when I was just a girl. Then they called it Freedom House, but to us, it has always been the Governor's House.
'Did you see the Emperor?'
'Oh, yes, she cackled. 'Many times. My mother came here to help the maids with the heavy work, I used to come with her sometimes.'
May felt her heart give a flip of excitement as Agni translated the old woman's words.
'They took them from here, and killed them,' she spat on the ground, 'the Bolsheviks.'
'Will you come and sit with us,' Agni indicated to a bench not far from the gates, 'and tell us your story?'
'I came here as often as I was able to, sometimes I would help my mother, but mostly I would sit and watch them. The Tsar and the children spent a lot of time outside when the weather was good. He would chop and saw wood; he was a fine, strong man.' She cackled again, and May couldn't help smiling.
'Most times the girls would help him with the wood, it gave them something to do you see. And they would walk, up and down there.' She pointed to an area alongside the house. 'Sometimes the Empress would come out and stand up there,' a nod of her head to the balcony above the main entrance door. 'Or sometimes she or the boy would sit outside in the sun in the wheelchair. They were both very sick, you know.'
'You saw the girls?' May asked. The old woman seemed startled to hear her speak English, and regarded her silently for a few moments, looking between May and Agni with a wise, almost knowing look, before replying.
'Yes, every time that I was here.' She laughed and shook her head in wonder at the memory. 'The girls had no hair. We thought they looked funny, but still so very beautiful. They told us it was because they had been so sick from the measles that their hair fell out.'
She grew silent again, for a long time, still gazing intently at the house, her thoughts turned inward. May did not want to interrupt her but was desperate to ask more questions, questions about Olga.
'And what about Olga? The eldest girl?' Agni asked softly. May looked at him in surprise. How did he know? Smiling at her, she understood that he knew.
'Olga? Yes, the eldest. So beautiful, so very sad. She always seemed to me to be distant from the others, her mind was somewhere else. They would sit in the place the Emperor built for them on the roof of the greenhouse. Olga would look, watching the people walk past, waiting, listening, always wistful I grieved for her. The other girls were sad too, of course, but they seemed to manage it better. Olga though? No, to me, she had given up, as though she was just waiting for something terrible to happen. And she was right, wasn't she? And then they took them.' Her voice grew harsh, and again she spat on the ground.
'Who?'
'The Reds. They took the Emperor and the Empress and the daughter Maria first. They took them at night. No-one knew where they were taking them. Some said Moscow.'
'And the others stayed here?' May asked, looking up at the house as Agni interpreted for her.
'Yes, that was their bedroom. Up there.' The old woman pointed to one of the windows that overlooked the street where the three of them sat. 'The girls' bedroom. They stayed because the boy was sick, very sick, and they were told that they would join the others once he was well enough to travel again.'
'And did they?'
'Yes, eventually, about three weeks later. Olga
had become even sadder after her parents and sister had left. She went away inside of herself even more. Tatiana had taken over the running of the household. Olga read, or wrote letters, and kept waiting. Waiting for something or someone that did not come.' She let out a long deep sigh. 'Sometimes, when I was in the house helping my mother, I could hear her weep. It was the saddest sound.' The old woman took a handkerchief from her pocket and wiped her eyes.
May looked up at the bedroom window, imagining Olga standing there, looking out. Was it her imagination, or did she see a figure there behind the curtain? She knew there was no one there. Olga wasn't here, May knew where she was.
'I must go,' the old woman said, getting up slowly grimacing at her stiff and aching joints.
'Do you come here to remember?' Agni asked
'Yes, to remember and to grieve and to say sorry for what was done to them. 'Some of us have not forgotten.'
'Thank you.' May said, kissing her on her wrinkled cheek. 'I know that they do appreciate it.'
The old woman looked at her knowingly. 'Yes, I see she is part of you,' then she turned from them and started shuffling slowly away.
May moved as if to follow her, she wanted to ask what she had meant, but Agni took her arm to stop her.
'Let's get some lunch.' He said, kissing her softly.
They found a quiet restaurant not far from the house, ordered and sat, each thinking about what the old woman had said. Agni held May's hand across the table, his gentle massaging of her fingers and wrist sent pleasurable shocks through her body.
'How did you know about Olga and my connection to her?' May asked.
'I put everything together,' he replied. 'Your reaction in the forest and at the Ipatiev House, the things you have let slip about her, and your need to know her remains had been found,' he shrugged. 'I don't understand it, but I see it. You are connected to her in some way. Is she trying to tell you something?'
'I think she is Agni. ' May was relieved that she could talk to him about this, knowing that he understood and was not going to laugh at her. 'I think it's something to do with her two missing siblings; Maria and Alexey. Olga has been showing me things, like in visions; that's what happened in the forest and at Ipatiev and why I reacted so strongly. I get such a sense of sadness from her, a sense of loss, of something not completed. The only thing I can think of is that she needs, they all need to be reunited and together in one place again.'
'Because they were always together when they were alive?'
'Yes. Apart from when they were here, in Tobolsk and were separated from their parents and Maria, the whole time since Nicholas abdicated and they were imprisoned, they were together.'
'And at death, they were separated. Five in one grave and two still missing.'
'That's exactly it!' May felt tears on her cheeks. Agni brushed them away with his fingertips.
'And what about Olga and what she lost?'
'She lost everything, didn't she? They all did, but for me, her loss hurts the most. She was young, beautiful, and probably all she only ever wanted was to fall in love and get married, have children, and live a life that was happy and contented. Instead, she was imprisoned, brutally murdered, her body desecrated, and forgotten about for seventy years! It's just so wrong, Agni!'
'What if she did experience love, though? What if she did have someone, and that was who the old woman thought she was waiting for? Someone who said he would come for her, or find her but never did? Or never could most like it. Maybe that is some of the sadness and loss you are feeling from her too, maybe that is part of her story she wants you to know.'
May leaned across the table and kissed him. 'I think you're right, Agni.' She took a deep breath, not knowing how he would react to her next words. 'And I think she has found him again. I think she found him the day I stepped off the plane from London, and I think she found him last night.' She blushed, again feeling like a silly teenager, in love for the first time, which, of course, was precisely what she was.
His face split into a huge grin, eyes sparkling, and to May, he looked like the happiest man in Russia, if not the world.
'I am so happy you said that,' he whispered. 'Let's go.'
Their lunch remained untouched, much to the waiter's consternation. Agni apologised profusely, paying double for the inconvenience, and then drove them quickly back to the hotel in silence, their physical need for each other impossible to ignore.
Fourteen
Ekaterinburg, Russia
May - July 1918
Olga's relief at finally arriving at Tyumen and leaving the ship was intense, and the sight of the train waiting for them lifted her spirits immensely. Ordered to board one of the dirty, dusty third-class train carriages for the rest of their trip into Ekaterinburg, she was horrified to see their companions from Tobolsk separated from them and herded into a goods wagon for their journey into the city.
She watched miserably as their tutors M. Gilliard and Mr. Gibbes disappeared from view.
She was cold and chilled to the bone by the time they arrived at Ekaterinburg around midnight, but were prevented from leaving the carriage immediately.
'What's the delay?' Anastasia asked angrily, leaning out of the carriage window. 'Why are we not moving on to the house?'
'You'll move when we say you move.' A guard spat. 'I don't know what your rush to get there is anyway. You might want to stay here for as long as possible.' He laughed nastily, lighting a cigarette.
'What do you mean?' Anastasia demanded as Olga tried to shush her, not wanting the guard to become angry.
'That's right; you won't know what that place is called, will you little girl?' He moved closer, his face inches from Anastasia's, who, to her credit, stood her ground and did not blink. 'It's called the house of special purpose. Now, what do you think about that then?'
The guard reeled from them away, laughing uproariously, his comrades joining in, and Olga could hear them making crude jokes about Anastasia. She pulled her back from the window, and they huddled together, Alexey sandwiched between the three of them through the long cold, miserable night until they were eventually collected by a couple of commissars.
Despite their pleas, nobody else was permitted to go with them from the station to the Ipatiev House.
'But the boy cannot walk.' Dr. Derevenko roared, his concern for Alexey, who had been his patient for so long, outweighing his fear of any retribution from the guards. 'How the hell do you expect him to move?'
To Olga's relief, the commissars relented and allowed Alexey's minder, Nagorny, to go with them.
'What is the use of all these leave-takings?' Tatiana asked in a false attempt at cheerfulness, 'I am sure that we will all be rejoicing in each other’s company in a half hours’ time!'
'Yes!' Anastasia echoed. 'We'll see you there!'
Olga had a sinking feeling deep in her soul that she would never see any of them again.
As she left the train, surrounded by a hostile armed guard, Olga tried to follow close behind Nagorny; Alexey safe and secure in his arms. It was raining heavily, and the ground beneath her feet had turned to mud. She carried her own heavy suitcase and struggled to keep up with Nagorny, acutely conscious of the ridicule and derision from the guards. Looking up briefly, she met the eyes of one man and saw pity and shame reflected therein. He quickly looked away, and she continued on, walking as steadily as she could, keeping her back ramrod straight as only a Grand Duchess could. As she passed M. Gilliard, he tried to leave his railway carriage, either to try to help or say something to her, but he was roughly pushed back in again by a guard.
Olga saw the fear and desperation in his eyes, but worse than that, she saw incredible sadness, and she felt that he was saying a silent goodbye to her, and that broke her heart. What was to become of the faithful retainers who had left their own families behind and come so far to follow her family into exile?
M.Gilliard looked past her, and she turned to see that he was looking at Tatiana, who was walking just
behind Olga, struggling through the pouring rain in ankle-deep mud. Tatiana was overloaded, trying to carry her cases as well as her dog Ortipo.
Nagorny, having placed Alexey in the carriage, turned to go back to assist Tatiana; however, he was also roughly pushed away by one of the guards, and he reluctantly turned back, climbing into the carriage beside Alexey.
Once they had all clambered inside, Olga looked at her sisters. They both seemed as cold and wet as she was, and were shivering uncontrollably, their clothing soaked through, shoes caked with thick, cloying mud.
Anastasia, usually so cheerful and silly, looked absolutely terrified and close to tears. Tatiana, as she always did, looked calm outwardly, her face chiselled and proud; of course, Olga knew that was just a front and that inside, she too would be devastated. She did not want to even think about how she looked, and closing her eyes against the angry, aggressive crowd outside, sat back in her seat as the carriage finally moved off, on its way to Ipatiev House.
'I can't believe you are finally here!' exclaimed Maria happily as she threw her arms around Olga on their arrival. 'This has been the longest three weeks ever!'
'I agree,' said Papa softly, folding her in his arms. 'But you have lost even more weight, my dear, and look so frail. Are you well? How bad was your journey?'
Dry clothes and cup after cup of hot sweet tea from the samovar quickly restored their spirits, and they spent the rest of the day talking non-stop, catching up on everything that had happened since they had last seen each other.
'Thank God we are safe all together again.' Mama said that evening at prayers.
'I hope the others who have been detained at the railway station will be alright.' Papa said. 'Of course, we are thankful that we have our beloved Ivan, Leonid, and Alexey Trupp here, but I can't help worrying about how the others will manage in a strange place with nowhere to go.'
The Girl With the Crystal Soul Page 13