“But you stayed in touch?” he asked, seemingly calm.
“We occasionally meet up with friends and the odd text, but no more.”
The waiter returned with their wine giving Tasha time to gather her thoughts. Should she just tell Jim about her and Aiden? Maybe not. He would only get pissed if she did and they were almost out of time together so why make the last day anything other than happy.
The waiter took their order for starters before leaving them alone. Tasha sipped her glass of wine and then tried to change the subject back to the restaurant.
“So, after I’d been here a couple of times, I liked it and brought Lucy. It’s close to home, the food and wine are good, the staff are nice and discreet and it’s pretty cheap for London. We come here about once a month.”
“You’re a regular then, baby.”
“I suppose,” she agreed.
“So, Aiden,” he said changing the topic right back. “Is there anything I should know about him?”
Tasha shook her head. “No,” she answered emphatically.
“He’s not your fuck buddy then?”
She choked on her wine and after gathering her composure looked at him and considered her response. She could flatly deny it, but he read her pretty well and she wasn’t the best of liars. If he knew she was lying or found out later, it would be a major row and there was no need to lie. There had been no crossover between Aiden and Jim. Between anyone and Jim.
He was still staring at her when he said, “Tasha, it’s a simple question, so just answer it before I draw my own conclusions.”
“Yes, yes he was,” she admitted.
“How is your ass?”
She was thrown by his change in topic again. “Warm, but nice, it makes me think of you,” she said, smiling.
“Good. I knew there was a fuck buddy so you don’t need to consider lying to me about it. It doesn’t thrill me that there was one, but there was and seeing the two of you together it makes sense, kind of. Now appropriateness, Natasha. You were brilliant last night with those TV crews so maybe that’s how you should conduct yourself at all times.”
She laughed. The idea of permanently having to think before she spoke and having alternative versions of what she needed to say readily available sounded like a nightmare, but she got what he was saying to a point and admitted as much. “We’re back to think before I speak.”
“Exactly. One inappropriate comment or action could haunt you forever, or me. You have to be aware of what you say and do and where and when. I am all for a little bit of fun Tasha, but not in a packed movie theatre surrounded by Hollywood A-listers, and today in the parking lot? If you had got things your way, we would both have been busted humping in the car by the police.”
The waiter returned with their starters.
Jim continued, “Now, maybe I have to accept some responsibility for this afternoon because I have over indulged you, which I shouldn’t have,” he said, making her frown.
“What does that even mean?”
“It means I should have made it clear that I was still in control even when I allowed you to take charge. I should have been more transparent in the fact that whatever you do, it is still under my control,” he replied candidly.
“James, I am not so stupid as to believe you ever allow me to take charge for real. It is always under your control, I know that. I agree with you, I need to think before I speak and act and I will try, but I am twenty-one-years-old and I will make mistakes, like everyone else does, but I will try. I keep saying I will try, and I will.”
She felt overwhelmed. They were beginning to go around in circles, the same circles where she always ended up disappointing him with youthful and naïve mistakes and she couldn’t mature any quicker than life allowed. She was inadequate and probably always would be, so where did that leave them?
“Have I upset you?” Jim studied her expression, weighing up her likely reaction and considered his next words. “I think we need to be honest and realistic about this.”
“You haven’t said anything I don’t know. I keep saying I will try and I will, but we are going around in circles, so many that I am dizzy. I am honest with you, more honest than I have been with anyone, ever, but I am clueless as to what is realistic in any of this.” She drew in a deep breath, calming her impending tears and hopefully facilitating her ability to continue speaking. “Maybe we should take a step back from this; I want to be with you, but if what I am and how I am is so at odds with what you want from a girlfriend and a wife maybe we should think again about our future.” She sounded calm and in control, even if she didn’t feel it.
He was still studying her expression and she felt sick as she waited for a response. The waiter returned and took their plates away. Seconds turned into minutes and minutes felt like they were turning into hours. Why was he taking so long? What was he thinking? Was he considering her words and thinking of the right answer, the answer that would move them forward or had her words resonated on a deeper level and struck a chord.
The burn in Tasha’s throat, the ache in her jaw and the welling of tears in her eyes all suggested he was going with the latter and had realised they were flawed as a couple. Too flawed to continue. This had all been a dream, a fantasy. A wonderful and beautiful fantasy while it lasted but she wouldn’t, couldn’t be his Lucky Seven because they were too different. She was too different and clearly nowhere near enough for him.
Maybe it was better this way, before she went to L.A. to stay with him, before the legalities allowing her to live there had been sorted and it was definitely for the best that they ended things before they were married, possibly with children stuck in the middle.
Still, without a word uttered by either of them Tasha knew one of them had to do something and she wouldn’t humiliate herself by begging him to convince her they had a future or cry in the restaurant for everyone to observe as her heart broke, no, shattered into a million pieces. She got to her feet and with a final look to take in his handsome face for the last time and a sad shake of her head she turned to leave.
She was going to leave James before he left her, although she had no clue where she was going or what she would do when she got there because everything she was and all that she owned was well and truly wrapped up in James Maybury.
To be continued…
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Have you read Disaster-in-Waiting by Elle M Thomas?
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Chapter One
My friends, the ones I had at that point warned me that I was marrying my dad and I had no issue with that, none at all. Michael was older than me, by thirty years, but when I was twenty-three he seemed awfully exotic with his greater knowledge and experience of, well, everything. He represented all the positives of a good dad in my mind; he was caring, protective, and considerate of my needs and wants, and he offered me security and safety, although like an overindulgent father he did spoil me, showering me with gifts and material possessions. I smiled with a still disbelieving shake of my head as I remembered how he had once bought me a new car because my old car, which was less than a year old was dirty. But here I was almost six years later married to my dad, or at least a dad, a man who played golf, often, read, a lot and not even works of fiction, big books on real life, history, geography, architecture, things I had no interest in. That was fine though. He had no issues with my interests, not that I had many, so I reciprocated.
My issue was sex, or lack thereof. If memory served me right, which it did, it had been six months since he’d touched me intimately and another six months since we’d had sex, real sex and at twenty-eight I wanted sex. Needed it. Craved it. After a few health scares after hitting fifty-five Michael had lost confidence and stami
na so he’d distanced himself from me physically and as much as I wanted my needs fulfilling I didn’t feel able to complain. Especially not as I knew how guilty my husband felt about his inability to satisfy my most basic needs.
He had been my boss, not my immediate boss, but my ultimate boss. He had owned the whole company I’d worked for, Stanton Industries, not that I understood what the business was, not really. I worked as a secretary for a middle manager in accounts on the seventh floor and Michael ran the whole shebang from his floor, the top floor, the twentieth where he occupied a corner office that looked out across the whole city. I didn’t really know that when I was plain old Eloise Ross, although I was still Eloise Ross at work, having resisted the temptation to become Mrs Stanton in all areas of my life. Today I was to return there as P.A. to the new CEO having left my post there after marrying five years ago. I had been desperate to gain promotions and recognition in my own right, not for being married to the boss, which I’d done. Michael was no longer the boss, not since the downturn in his health when he’d made the decision to sell the company to a bigger conglomerate, Miller Industries.
“Darling, I’ve made you some tea. We don’t want you to be late on your first day, do we?”
I smiled at my husband’s kindness as I gave myself a final once over, dressed professionally in a black pencil skirt and a white silk blouse. I had opted for tights so I wouldn’t be worrying all day that I was flashing stocking tops at my new boss, Denton Miller Snr who I had yet to meet in person. Along with commendations from my husband and a few webcam and Skype conversations I had decided that he was a boss I would enjoy working for.
Denton was of a similar age to Michael, but unlike my husband he had been married for thirty odd years to his teenage sweetheart and was living the American dream with his main home in California but numerous other residences around the world, seemingly in the cities that housed the offices of his vast business empire. Michael, by contrast had been married three times before me and I was the only wife not to have given him a child. Although sex would be required for a baby meaning that I was only a stepmother to four; two girls from wife number one, both older than me by a year and two years. His sons were aged twenty and fourteen with wives two and three respectively. God, I was like his middle child I realised with a smile, a smile that evaporated as I remembered I was also a step-nanny to three children under five and then he called me again.
“El, come on, Denton is a stickler for punctuality,” he reminded me for the hundredth time causing me to bristle slightly.
“Yes, I know. I’m coming!” I screeched slipping black heeled shoes onto my feet but Michael laughed, annoying me further.
“If I was a jealous man those claims might offend me Mrs Stanton,” he added as I appeared before him in the kitchen where my tea was waiting for me.
“What?” I asked impatiently, confused by his words.
“You shouted, I’m coming.”
Unsure how to react and thinking that if I did I might say something to open the can of worms that represented our lack of a sex life, I simply accepted the cup of tea and killed another ten minutes or so before dropping a kiss to Michael’s head as I left the house.
Upon entering my former place of employment that was now my current place of employment I noted that very little appeared to have changed, except for the new signage.
“Hey there stranger,” called the receptionist as I arrived on my new floor, my husband’s old floor.
I spun to find a former colleague and friend, Maya, looking back at me with a grin spread across her face.
“What the bloody hell are you doing here?” I asked as I hugged the other woman, glad to find a friendly face. “Michael never mentioned you were back here.”
“First day, babe. You remember I went to Provence with Aaron?”
I nodded, remembering her leaving a couple of years before with her boyfriend who had also worked for Michael but after his divorce was finalised decided to travel.
“Yeah, well that was great for a while, right up to the point where I found Aaron was indulging in some serious online shenanigans.”
“No way!”
“Way babe. So, I packed up, after paying the astronomical internet bill. My oldest sister still works here, in H.R. so she offered to put my C.V. forward and here I am, receptionist for the exec floor and I believe you are Mr Miller’s P.A.?”
“Yes, first day too.”
“So, you and Mr Stanton…”
I could see that what Maya really wanted to ask was, ‘are you still married to the old man?’
“Michael is at home.”
“Ah,” she replied dropping her glance to my narrow gold wedding ring. “I heard he’d been unwell.”
“Yes,” I confirmed. “He had some heart trouble that required surgery, but he’s on the mend,” I added with a smile that not even I was convinced by. “Look, I should go, apparently my new boss doesn’t like lateness.”
“Okay, later, we’ll catch up.”
At ten o’clock I wondered if Mr Miller was one of those, ‘do as I say, not as I do’ bosses because he was a no show and I was over an hour and a half into my day. I considered calling Michael to ask him if I should be concerned, but decided against it. Another hour and then I would attempt to contact Denton Miller.
Another hour came and went, however as I was engrossed in a stationery delivery I was unaware of anything that wasn’t made of paper until it was almost one o’clock when Maya appeared in my doorway.
“Do you want to grab lunch?” she asked as I stood up and faced her, still flushed from my exertion unpacking new paperwork.
“You’d have thought that such a forward thinking company would rely on electronic copies of this shit,” I observed, opening yet another box of compliment slips.
“Lunch?” Maya repeated causing me to check out the clock on the wall behind my desk.
“No way, is that the time already? Where the hell is the boss? I should call him, he could be ill or have had an accident.” I panicked, grabbed the phone on my desk and hit the speed dial that had already been pre-programmed to my boss’ mobile first, or cell as my directory had it listed as. Well, he was American I supposed as I heard the tone that seemed to ring forever before connecting to what I had anticipated being an answer phone.
“You’ve reached Denton Miller’s den of debauchery and iniquity. Unfortunately Mr Miller is unable to come to the phone right now as he is busy between my thighs, can I take a message?” the voice asked, the voice of a woman I was fairly certain wouldn’t belong to Mrs Miller, so who was she, with her soft and subtle American accent that sang with amusement?
“I erm, sorry, I’m, my name is P.A., well not, I, erm,” I stammered while Maya watched on with a horrified expression that was in stark contrast to her grin. With a deep breath and a wipe of my free sweaty palm down my thigh I composed myself and tried again. “This is Eloise, Eloise Ross, Mr Miller’s P.A. He was expected in his office this morning…” I allowed my voice to trail off so that my words might register when I heard another voice on the end of the line, a man’s voice.
“Tia, what are you doing? How many times have I told you, do not answer my phone? That’s not your place.”
I glared down at the receiver in my hand wondering how my husband had got his views on my new boss so wrong. Arrogant prick I thought, except when I heard Tia giggle down the line and Maya stifle a laugh with a gulp, I realised that I had said it, out loud.
“It’s your office, your P.A.,” Tia explained. “Checking up on the boss.”
This woman was also a pain in the arse, her and my new boss, maybe they were meant for each other.
“No, no,” I stammered before I heard Mr Miller’s reply.
“I don’t need checking up on. I’m going in now, as per the email I sent to my P.A. Could this day get any worse?” he asked as I flushed crimson despite him being unable to see me.
“Did you get that, honey?” Tia asked still laughing.
<
br /> “Yeah, got it, thank you, sorry, sorry to have interrupted your erm, sorry,” I cried and hung up. “Oh bollocks, his day has nothing on mine!” I told Maya slumping into my chair.
“And you kind of hung up on him at the end there.” She smiled with an accompanying cringe.
“Oh God! Why am I even doing this? He was so sweet on webcam,” I said, thinking aloud.
“With Mr Stanton?”
I buried my face in my hands. “Shit, yeah. He was with a woman, maybe not his wife and like with her with her I think.” My whispered realisation made Maya laugh loudly.
“So, to sum up, you have inarticulately interrupted a secret shag, somehow made it sound like he was a naughty boy by being late and then hung up on him?”
My horrified expression must have conveyed how awful I felt because Maya appeared before me on her haunches.
“It wasn’t that bad babe. He’ll be fine, I’m sure. Come on, lunch.” Getting to her feet she pulled me to mine. “Come on, no arguments, we’ll go to the pub over the road, no alcohol, just food.”
Nodding, I grabbed my things and then quickly checked my emails, only to find an earlier email from my boss.
Morning Ms Ross,
I was hoping to be in before you this morning, but I had to change plans.
Will be very late afternoon so may not get to meet you until tomorrow as I have a busy day planned.
Regards,
Denton Miller
CEO Miller Industries (Europe)
“Oh,” I whispered almost undetected as a second email hit my inbox.
Ms Ross,
Thank you for the nurse maid duties, however unnecessary they were. I am able to tell the time and arrive at the office without assistance!
Lucky Seven Page 61