Magical Mayhem: A Paranormal Women's Fiction Novel (Witches of Gales Haven Book 2)

by Lucia Ashta

  I’d learned to rely on me-time to replenish. In Gawama Mama House, the quiet moments would be far and few between. Especially since I had plans to jump Quade at the earliest opportunity and then continue making up for lost time.

  I sat by myself on the back porch, taking in the way the back yard, which was more of a nature preserve than any kind of yard, pulsated seemingly in tune with my slow breaths. Large oaks rose up from the ground in great thick, twisted trunks, their leaves hanging low, swaying and sweeping in a mesmerizing crackle that reminded me of both the rain and the ocean at once, effectively whisking away every concern. The little warm white lights that Grandpa Oscar had set around the wild garden for me when I was a girl continued to blink and hover like they were fireflies instead of a long-lasting spell that survived my grandpa’s death. The long grass shushed and oscillated like it was rocking to soothe an infant.

  I drew great comfort from the familiar scene, allowing it to flow through me and smooth any rough edges. To replenish me where I was depleted.

  Things might not be perfect, but they were well enough.

  Rocking gently in a rocking chair that Great-Great-Granny Jemima’s own father had built, and had been since preserved by every subsequent generation of Gawamas, the creaking set the beat of the night like a metronome.

  My kids had been too excited by all the happenings in town to slow down much before they left. Macy had recounted the story of how Aunt Shawna had “kicked Delise’s nasty ass” approximately three hundred times until she finally tired of it. Even so, I’d managed to slip a quick question in about how their first day of school went.

  As usual, their responses were largely unhelpful. “Great” and “awesome” weren’t exactly highly descriptive, but they were promising. In the non-magical world, when they’d attended an average public high school, their responses had ranged from “it sucked” to “it was okay.” I was taking the upgrade as a good sign. I’d grill them for elaboration later. For now, they were happy, which made me happy—and incredibly relieved.

  I’d taken a big risk bringing them here, but it was as clear as Great-Great-Granny Jemima’s crystal ball —which resided permanently in the parlor—that it was working out. The barrier spell was repaired. Macy was safe to remain within it. Both my kids had magic in spades and were beginning to manifest in a place where they’d be guided along to their fullest potential—and hopefully would no longer be at risk of blowing up the place.

  Delise and Maguire were gone. A guard composed of witches, wizards, and creatures was already in place, making sure they couldn’t return until a better system was discovered and instituted.

  I hadn’t seen any more signs of the wily leprechaun, nor had I heard anything more from Jadine Lolly, who apparently had been consumed in her passion for Jelly Frumpers. The rumors were already circling town even while there were more pressing matters at hand. No doubt, within days the whirlwind affair between Jadine and Jelly would become a favorite topic of gossip.

  There was no accounting for taste, but hopefully Jelly’s appreciation would bolster Jadine’s confidence and her obsession with Spanx would pass. If I never heard the word Spanx again in my life, I’d do a dance in celebration.

  I still hadn’t had the time to catch up with Wanda, nor to discover what was in her secret back room that my sexed-up aunts loved, but there’d be time for that. Without having to chase a nekked leprechaun, there’d be time for lots of activities I was ready to once more enjoy.

  There was still the teeny tiny issue of me being some sort of magical sponge or buffer, depending on whether you asked Leonie or Harlow, but the fact hadn’t interfered with my life, so I was hoping it would just fade away. I had enough to handle with my own abilities and the host of snarky magical creatures who wanted to chat with me without borrowing power from others. I was just fine without it. The whole sponge slash buffer situation could just float on by and leave me be, thanks very much.

  There was also the issue of my new work detail. Never in my life had I pictured myself being a detective—of any sort. Half the time I couldn’t find my sunglasses when they rested on my own head. The chances of me becoming some awesome Sherlylock Holmes were slim to none, so now that the crisis with the barrier spell was fully over, I planned to talk some sense into my nan.

  No one was going to want me running all over town bungling every case I got. They needed me to interpret for all the critters within Gales Haven’s borders? Fine. I’d learn to live with that. Maybe Mindy and I would eventually even become friends. Perhaps she’d stop insulting me, and George would come to think me brilliant. I might even learn to tolerate Humphrey. Why not? I was feeling generous. So much had gone right that I could learn to forgive him for interrupting my one chance at some serious shmexy time in recent memory.

  Crickets erupted into a chorus of chirps, contributing to the idyllic night. A subtle breeze drifted across the Gawama land, turning up the volume on the rustling of the leaves and the swaying of the grasses. I could stay out here all night, and I fully planned to until the family returned from seeing the exiles off and smothered my quiet with their usual loud and chaotic natures.

  I took a long pull from my bottle of Beebee’s brew. I hadn’t yet had the chance to stop by Beebee’s Beer Bar or Mabel’s Medicinal and Restorative Herbs for Healing and Relaxation shop, though both stops were high on my list. Right up there with visiting Mo Ellen for an eat-whatever-I-want spell.

  Condensation dripping down my hand, I clutched one of Aunt Luanne’s bottles. The glass of the bottle was mellow yellow with a label pronouncing this particular brew Take a Chill Pill, so I figured it’d be just right. I planned to do a whole lot of chilling now that I was doing some serious hoping that my leprechaun problems were finally over. How much trouble could one leprechaun cause magical creatures anyway? He might have just moved on from town, figuring it wasn’t worth the trouble of having me chase him all over the place.

  My next day: help the kids to the bus stop and then go for a nice, relaxing run. Shower, then one of Aunt Jowelle’s awesome breakfasts. Next, stop by Bab’s to cheat on Aunt Jowelle with some Enchanted Hearts, and buy Twisted Turtles for later. I’d check in on Quade and Wanda, then go get the spell started with Mo Ellen.

  “Mind sharing?” a squeaky voice asked.

  My free hand jerked to my chest and I jostled my beer, sloshing some on my unicorn-and-rainbow print leggings. They were purple, sparkly, and come on … unicorns and rainbows. They were so dorky that they crossed the line into super cool zone—no matter what my kids said to the contrary—and they were some of my favorites, especially since they concealed the cellulite in my butt and thighs like a champ.

  “Humphrey,” I bit out. “You just made me spill!”

  “I didn’t make you do anything. It’s not my fault you’re as skittish as my second cousin Petunia. She’ll jump at anything at all. She does no favors to our reputation as fierce creatures.”

  “Your reputation isn’t fierce. The saying goes, ‘As skittish as a mouse.’”

  “No way. You’ve got it all wrong. That makes no sense. I’m not skittish in the least.”

  “You also aren’t a normal mouse.”

  Humphrey scampered across the porch in the moonlight before standing up, puffing out his little chest. “Granted. I’m special. Brilliant and sharp-minded.”

  “You’re a very annoying mouse, that’s what you are. With horrible timing.”

  He gasped, a tiny paw traveling to his chest in affront before he lowered back down to all fours. “I am not annoying. And my timing is impeccable. Also, don’t forget to call me Hugh. That’s my name.”

  “That is not your name, Humphrey. You were going to watch Quade and I have sex like a total perv! I didn’t even know you were there.”

  “Well, yeah, that was kind of the point. I didn’t want you to stop. I just wanted to watch. And it’s Hugh.”

  “Humphrey,” I said, dragging out every syllable until the mouse growled. “That’s not ri
ght. Don’t you know that? Having sex is a private affair. No one’s supposed to watch.”

  He sat on his haunches and scratched at his chin. “Are you sure?” he asked. “And it’s Hugh. I’m cool Hugh.”

  “I’m totally sure,” I said. Of course I was. Duh. Or better yet, fuh. “People are supposed to have sex in private without anybody watching.”

  He looked at me, tiny forehead furrowed. “Do your Aunt Luanne and Aunt Shawna know that? Because I saw them—”

  “Humphrey.”

  “I won’t respond to that.”

  “Fine. Hugh,” I grumbled. “I don’t want to hear about my aunts’ sex lives. Not now, not ever. Got it?”

  “All right … I guess. But it’s your loss. What they get up to is highly entertaining. Whenever they go out on their dates, I try to make sure I’m in the right place to—”

  “Humphrey, I’m not kidding,” I said. “You’ve already possibly ruined my favorite pants. I don’t want you souring my mood too. No one needs to picture their aunts doing … that stuff.”

  He shrugged, tiny shoulders moving. “Like I said, your loss. And call me Humphrey one more time and I’ll make sure I’m positioned to watch every time you try to get it on. Maybe I’ll even bring friends. Petunia isn’t skittish about watching good action. Neither is Basil. He’s so stupid we tell him you guys are tickling each other and he buys it.”

  “That’s terrible!”

  Humphrey shrugged again, whiskers twitching in indifference. Then he pointed his attention at my legs and silver-sequined Converse. Defensively, I drew my legs up and tucked my feet partially under my crossed thighs.

  “You like those leggings?” he asked.

  “Yeahhhh. I love them.”

  “Are they your kids’?”

  “No, they’re mine.”

  “Oh.” He frowned. “I thought that might explain it. Have you actually looked at them?”

  “Humphr—”

  He narrowed his eyes at me and I was not going to call his bluff on this one. No way did I want a repeat of finding Humphrey munching on popcorn above me.

  “Hugh, will you please just go away?”

  “Man, I just got here.”

  “You can give me grief another time, okay? Or even better, you can just not. But I need some downtime before everyone shows back up.”

  “You mean you like being alone?”

  I nodded. “Definitely. I love it.”

  “I came over because I felt bad for you, all alone like this. I don’t like being alone. I was coming to keep you company.”

  “Aw, Hugh. That’s actually pretty sweet of you, even if it was misguided.”

  “Shh!” The mouse whipped his head around in every direction before settling back on me. “Don’t call me that. I have a reputation to preserve. There are ears everywhere, especially when you can’t see anybody.”

  “I’ll keep that in mind,” I said with a raised brow.

  “You be sure to do that. Or else I won’t come visit you again.”

  “Is that a promise?”

  “It is.”

  “Hmm.” I smiled, and I didn’t think Humphrey was getting it. “Maybe it’d be better if you go tonight. So I don’t risk tarnishing your hardened reputation.”

  “Probably wise.” He twitched his whiskers around a serious scowl. “There’s only so much damage I can recover from.”

  Without another word, he skittered away, disappearing into the shadows along the corner of the porch, probably squeezing through a small hole no one noticed.

  Sighing loudly, I leaned back into my rocker, preparing to put Humphrey clear out of my mind and make the most of whatever time I had left before the Gawamas returned. I took a long sip of Take a Chill Pill, loving the taste of it. It was like mint chocolate chip ice cream rolled around in sprinkles. Smacking my lips, I dragged the rocking chair closer to the railing and sat back down, kicking my legs up onto it, crossing them at the ankles, and experiencing a deep sense of contentment.

  The night was a bit chilly, but pleasant enough. I drank some more brew … and froze.

  “Motherfreaking little freak,” I growled, shooting to my feet.

  The leprechaun streaked by—maybe twenty feet in front of me—still wearing nothing but Spanx, meaning I’d gotten a clear view of those bubbly butt cheeks and proof that leprechauns were hung just like the males of most other species. His orange hair was dark as blood beneath the pale moonlight as he ran for all he was worth. He disappeared behind large, gnarled roots within seconds.

  Just as a whole family of raccoons, looking like masked bandits in the night, tore after him.

  “Wha...?” I muttered. “What the hell did he do to piss them off like that?”

  I watched as a half dozen raccoons disappeared into the long shadows the trees cast, no doubt still fast on the leprechaun’s trail.

  For a whole thirty seconds, I deliberated chasing after them. I was kind of supposed to catch that blasted leprechaun—at least until I convinced Nan to give me another job that suited me better. Taste tester for Bab’s Bopping Boopy Bakery or Three-Hundred-Sixty-Nine Fabulous Feisty Flavors? I’m your woman. On a bold day, I’d even be a tester for the mysterious back room of Wanda’s Cock, Coffee, and Cocoa Café, which was daring given it was one of Aunt Luanne’s and Aunt Shawna’s favorite haunts.

  The mewling of raccoons, possibly even the leprechaun, filtered across the otherwise peaceful field, suggesting a scuffle of some sort. No doubt the leprechaun had done something to deserve his punishment.

  I took another sip of my brew, then made my decision.

  Sinking back down into the rocker, I got comfortable, kicking my sneaks off before I crossed my feet up on the railing. I settled in.

  For tonight, I wasn’t taking on any problems. They could wait. At this rate, the leprechaun would still be in town causing trouble tomorrow.

  I smiled out into the moonlit night that crawled with magical creatures and dense magic. I was in my element.

  Rocking back and forth a few times, I allowed the peace of knowing I was exactly where I was supposed to be to settle over me. Like a mantle, it kept me warm and looking forward to the future—no matter how many crazy cases it might include.

  Regardless, tomorrow would be a bright dawn.

  THE END … but only for now!

  Read what happens next with Marla and the rest of the Gawamas in CHARMED CAPER, the next book in the Witches of Gales Haven series.

  Marla Gawama is the new detective of Gales Haven.

  She knows nothing about sleuthing, but her nan assigned her the job, and what Bessie Gawama wants, she gets.

  Marla does her best to carry out her new detective doo-ties. She even dons her comfortable running shoes and sets out to get ’er done.

  But when some bumbling bumpkins show up in town, and Haveners start losing their marbles left and right, it becomes clear she’s not cut out for the job.

  That never stopped a Gawama witch before.

  And she isn’t going to let it stop her now.

  One thing the Gawamas know how to do is ride with the crazy.

  ~ Pre-order now on Amazon ~

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  As always, thank you for reading!


  I write these books for you.

  Books by Lucía Ashta

  ~ FANTASY BOOKS ~

  WITCHING WORLD UNIVERSE

  Witches of Gales Haven

  Perfect Pending

  Magical Mayhem

  Charmed Caper

  Magical Creatures Academy

  Night Shifter

  Lion Shifter

  Mage Shifter

  Power Streak

  Power Pendant

  Power Shifter

  Sirangel

  Siren Magic

  Angel Magic

  Fusion Magic

  Magical Arts Academy

  First Spell

  Winged Pursuit

  Unexpected Agents

  Improbable Ally

  Questionable Rescue

  Sorcerers’ Web

  Ghostly Return

  Transformations

  Castle’s Curse

  Spirited Escape

  Dragon’s Fury

  Magic Ignites

  Powers Unleashed

  Magical Arts Academy Omnibus, Books 1-4

  Magical Arts Academy Omnibus, Books 5-8

  Magical Arts Academy Omnibus, Books 9-13

  Witching World

  Magic Awakens

  The Five-Petal Knot

  The Merqueen

  The Ginger Cat

  The Scarlet Dragon

  Spirit of the Spell