“I know that. It’s just…I don’t think you went about it in the best ways.” She was trying to be as delicate as she could but calling her mother out on being a bitch wasn’t what she should be doing.
“You are too kind. Maybe that was the problem. You’ve always been so nice to me, even when I was terrible. I wanted you to have the best. To have the best life, family, work. So, when I got scared that I wasn’t doing well enough as your mother, I got these thoughts in my head that I had to force you into situations so you could become the perfect McClard.”
“There’s no such thing as perfection, Mother.”
“Oh, I’ve learned.” Her mother winced as Madison’s eyes widened. “I did not mean that you weren’t perfect. I meant the idea of perfection is ridiculous. I put all these expectations on you because I didn’t know how to help you. When in reality, you didn’t need my help. You are a beautiful woman, one with great business sense, and you have so much. Sadly, I didn’t see any of it because I was blinded by the fact that you didn’t do it my way.”
“I didn’t.” Madison didn’t apologize for that, and she refused to. A few kind words now wouldn’t make up for everything her mother had done in the past. But it would be cruel of Madison to not do her best to at least accept the apology. They had to meet somewhere in the middle, or there would be no healing the bridges that had been burned.
“I am trying to learn to be a better person. It took almost losing you to realize what I had become. I know that my words today, me saying that I’m sorry, won’t fix that. But I hope you will give me a chance to find a way to make things better. I have a long road to recovery, to figuring out exactly how I’m going to do what I need to do. But I hope you’ll let me try to make up for the kind of person I’ve been. For the person I am,” she corrected.
“Your mother is speaking for both of us,” her father said as he came into the room, a mug of coffee in his hand.
“Come sit next to me, darling,” her mother said, patting the seat next to her. Her parents rarely touched in front of her. They didn’t even sit next to each other most times. So the fact that her father sat down next to her mother and squeezed her hand while kissing her temple, told Madison that things far beneath the surface had been broken for her parents. Things that had nothing to do with her. Maybe this wake-up call would be good for everybody. She just hoped that when the bruises healed, the ashes that remained didn’t blow away in the wind.
“I’m sorry for everything. I’m going to try not to be such a lackluster father.”
“You guys weren’t horrible parents.” Madison paused. “At least you didn’t start out that way.”
“Ouch,” her father said with a laugh. “We deserved that.”
And more.
“I don’t know how I got this way,” her mother said. “And it’s not just the concussion talking,” she added. Madison snorted.
“Well, I hope not,” she said. “Because once you’re back to a hundred percent, I really hope we can find a way to fix what’s been broken over time in our family. Because I want you to get to know me as I am now, not as the woman you thought I needed to be. And I hope you’ll want to stay this person that you’ve become,” she whispered.
“I don’t think that a single knock on the head is what changed this,” her mother said, her voice soft. “Seeing you out there with blood and mud all over you? And it being all because of Guy? I’m not sure where I went wrong. I mean, I understand the beginnings of it, but how could I not see him for what he was?”
Her father held her mother’s hand, and Madison let out a breath. “I didn’t see it either.”
“You saw more than we did,” her father admonished.
“Perhaps I did, but I didn’t realize he could change so drastically. I always thought he was suave, I didn’t realize it was a layer of the exterior that hid the cruelty beneath.”
“He’s going to jail for a long time. We will make sure of that,” her father said, his voice stern.
She trusted her father to deal with the legal issues because that’s what he did. He cleaned up messes, and he used his power. This once, she was happy that he had that ability. Because she never wanted to see Guy again. As it was, she saw him in her nightmares, and she didn’t even want that anymore.
“I haven’t seen Aaron here,” her mother said out of the blue, and Madison blinked.
“Oh, well, you know…”
“That it was a fake engagement?” her mother asked, her eyes filled with light for the first time since the attack. “I knew that, but I also saw the way you two were with each other. It didn’t end up being a lie in the end, did it?”
Madison swallowed hard and looked down at the engagement ring she still wore, the one that reminded her of him so much. He had texted to ensure that she was safe and home, but he hadn’t contacted her outside of that. Lincoln and the others had called, and Lincoln had even come by with Ethan and Holland. But no one mentioned Aaron. The lack of his name on their lips was a crack in the marble of the shell she’d made herself. The evidence of them knowing not to bring him up told her that Aaron wanted nothing more to do with her. And she hated that she was breaking inside because of it.
“We’re no longer together,” she said after a moment, the silence deafening.
“I’m so sorry,” her mother whispered.
“Really?” she asked and could have kicked herself. They were having such a good day. And here she was, being rude.
“Really. Aaron was good for you.” Her mother shook her head as Madison opened her mouth to speak. “I’m sorry I didn’t see that sooner. And I’m sorry I tried to use his popularity in his work as a notion that he’d help you instead of being good for you for who he was. I’m trying not to be a horrible person, and it’s going to take me a long time to get over my preconceived notions.”
“Your mother is not the only one who has to get over some issues,” her father said.
“I’m really glad to hear that from both of you. But Aaron and I are no longer together.”
“Yet you still wear his ring,” her mother said. It felt like it should hurt, but it didn’t. She was too numb.
“I think I’m just too tired to take it off,” she lied.
Her mother and father each gave her a knowing look, and then they changed the subject to cupcakes. They talked about her work and unimportant things, and yet she felt as if they were getting to know each other for the first time.
The bash on the head hadn’t changed everything. It was them nearly losing each other. And Madison knew that there would be setbacks, there was more work to be done, but this was a step in the right direction. She couldn’t keep moving backward. Even if going in that direction meant going towards Aaron.
She didn’t have him anymore. He had walked away to give her space, and it had been so abrupt, she hadn’t really processed it yet. She hadn’t been able to tell him how she felt, and she was afraid that once she did, if she did, she’d just end up even more bruised.
But she wasn’t the same person she had been when all of this started. When she paced in the parking lot and felt like she was screwing everything up. She wasn’t the same person who had gone to the art show.
She wasn’t even the same woman she had been when they kissed for the first time.
Perhaps that had to count for something. Only she wasn’t sure it did or what it meant. Not when she felt like she was losing everything.
Or as if she hadn’t been worth it to begin with.
Chapter 21
Aaron had expected the pounding on the door. Had anticipated the shouting.
He hadn’t seen the fist to the face coming.
Or perhaps he had, just not from who threw it.
“Ethan, what the hell?” Lincoln snapped from his lover’s side.
Aaron rubbed his jaw and grinned at his little brother.
“I thought Lincoln was going to hit me. And I would have let him. I wasn’t expecting you to do it.”
“Well, I did
n’t want Lincoln to hit you because that might hurt Madison’s feelings. She doesn’t like it when people stand up for her like that. But if I do it, it’s just a brother to brother thing. So, what the fuck, Aaron? Why is Madison crying in her home all alone while you’re here acting like an asshole?”
Aaron felt as if he’d been doused in water. He took a few steps back, bile rising to his throat.
“Now that you got that out of your system, darling, let’s go inside. We can kick his ass properly,” Lincoln said through gritted teeth. Aaron took a few steps back so both of them could walk through the door, each of them glaring.
“It wasn’t real,” Aaron began, but Lincoln held up a hand.
“No, we’re not going to start with that. We’re going to start with this.” And then Lincoln held out his arms and hugged Aaron so tight, he could barely breathe.
“Thank you for saving my family. Fuck. I can’t believe I almost lost them.”
Aaron could hear the tears in the other man’s voice, and he swallowed hard to keep his own at bay and just hugged the other man back. Then Ethan walked up, embracing them both. The three of them stood there, just breathing as they held onto one another. Aaron wondered how he had gotten himself into this situation. Not being held by his brother and friend, but that they needed to comfort him at all.
“That’s enough of that,” Ethan said, tugging Lincoln away. He’s mine,” his brother said with a wink, and Aaron laughed. This was the first time he had truly laughed since he watched Madison walk away when he told her to go.
“Lincoln is pretty, but he’s not my type.”
“I’m everybody’s type, thank you very much,” Lincoln said, but the humor rang false.
“I’m sorry,” Aaron said.
“You really shouldn’t be apologizing to me. You should be apologizing to the woman you hurt.”
“It wasn’t real,” Aaron whispered again.
“Oh, fuck that. We all know it’s real. You might’ve started out with this joke or ruse to give her some space, but I saw how you two were with each other. And don’t tell me you two weren’t sleeping together, because that would be a big fucking lie,” Lincoln growled.
Aaron ran his hand through his hair and noticed that he needed a haircut. But he didn’t care. He was too tired. Too exhausted to work, to create. He felt like he was doing everything wrong.
He deserved being yelled at, though. He deserved it so much. But he wasn’t right for Madison. She needed space, and him not giving it to her would only hurt her in the end.
“She needs time to be with her family.”
“You’re right. But not all the time. Jesus Christ, you need to save her from herself.”
Aaron narrowed his eyes at Ethan. “What do you mean?”
“All I’m saying is that the two of you were great together. And I don’t care if you thought you weren’t dating, you were. So don’t even start with that.”
“Madison needs you, too. You guys were good together,” Lincoln said. “And considering that I want my precious baby cousin pure and perfect, the fact that I’m even allowing this to happen should tell you how good I think you two were.”
“I’m not going to touch on that subject, if that’s okay with you,” Aaron said, thinking of all the kinky shit they had done.
Lincoln narrowed his eyes. “Yes, let’s not.”
“I walked away to give her space. Hell, to give me space. Everything happened so fast. I didn’t know what was real and what was fake anymore.”
“Then talk to her,” Ethan said.
“That’s funny, considering what happened to you,” Aaron said, regretting the words as soon as he spoke them.
“You’re right,” Ethan said. “I almost ruined everything.”
“Same here,” Lincoln said.
“You know what we did?” Ethan said.
“We fucking talked to one another after the rest of you guys yelled at us,” Lincoln finished.
“So, here we are,” Ethan said.
“Yelling at you,” Lincoln added.
“Okay, I get it. What if she says no? What if she’s healing and not sad at all that I’m gone?”
“What if you’re a fucking idiot?” Lincoln countered.
“Nice, honey,” Ethan drawled.
“I miss her so much,” Aaron said, running his hand over his beard. “I didn’t want what we had to get confused and jumbled in the charade. And now I don’t know how to go back.”
“You just go back,” Ethan whispered. “And you grovel. You beg. And you tell her exactly how you feel.”
“But first…” Lincoln said.
“I should shower?” Aaron drawled.
“Okay, yes. First, you should shower. But then? You should figure out exactly what you want. Because you don’t get a second chance,” Lincoln said. “This is all part of your first chance. But if you walk away again? If you hurt her? There’ll be no place on this Earth you can hide from me.” Lincoln glared.
“Figure out what you want,” Lincoln repeated.
“I already know what I want,” Aaron said, looking down at his hands. The hands that had touched her. That still craved her.
“And?” Ethan prompted.
“I want her.”
“Then go get her. Grovel your heart out. And don’t fuck it up,” Lincoln said.
“How the hell do I grovel?” Aaron asked.
Ethan threw his hands up into the air. “You read how many romance novels? Read one of your precious books and learn how to grovel. And do it well. There’d better be glass on the floor for you to walk over at this point.”
“It’s crawling, darling,” Lincoln said, laughing. “Seriously, though. Crawl over glass. That’ll help.”
“But don’t get too much blood on the carpet,” Ethan countered.
“I don’t know if you guys are helping at all,” Aaron said with a laugh.
“You know we are. Now, pick up a book, take a shower, but don’t bring the book into the shower because you’ll ruin it. And then go grovel. Tell her how you feel. Just make sure you know what that is first.”
Aaron sighed and nodded, knowing they were right.
He already knew what he wanted. Knew what he felt for Madison McClard.
He loved her.
And now he needed to figure out how to tell her so she didn’t kill him.
Far easier said than done.
Chapter 22
In the five days since she had been kidnapped, almost murdered, almost wed, and nearly fell down a mountain with a deranged psychopath, Madison felt as if she had finally come into her own. She was closing up the shop for the day, wanting some time alone. She’d sent Brynn home after the other woman did nothing but hover the entire time she was in the kitchen.
Madison loved Brynn. She adored the fact that Brynn had stepped up to take over Sin in a Cup for the days that Madison had been off, but she needed some space.
Of course, that phrase just reminded her of Aaron. She growled, angry now that he dared to walk away.
Tomorrow, she told herself. She would confront him tomorrow and tell him exactly what she felt. And then she’d tell him to go fuck himself if he tried to push her away again.
She was still a bit achy, not only in her body but also in her heart. She was feeling better, though.
Guy had already taken a plea deal, so she wouldn’t have to see him again if she didn’t want to. She knew the specifics but didn’t want to focus on them because he didn’t matter. He was a blip in the emotional turmoil she was already in.
But she had her shop, she had her coffee, and she had her cupcakes.
She looked down at the chain she wore around her neck, wondering why she had even put it on.
She didn’t have Aaron, but she had a piece of him. Tomorrow, when she went to yell at him, or maybe just to ask him why he walked away, thus forcing her to walk away from him, she’d ask what he wanted to do with the ring. The symbol that had started out as a lie but had come to mean so much to he
r.
She had never once thought they were engaged, but perhaps they had been starting something. A relationship? She needed those labels, but regardless, she had thought they’d shared more than just a deception.
She had let Aaron inside her heart. Inside her body. And she knew that he was scared. Had pushed her away for a reason. Now, she needed to know what those reasons were.
Someone knocked on the door, and she looked up, freezing.
She had closed all the shades except for the glass panes at the front, so nobody could see in unless they were at the door, straining to see her sweeping up the final remnants of the day.
She had allowed herself to be alone in the building when she might’ve been scared before. But she knew she was safe because she did her best to stay locked in, and Guy wasn’t around anymore.
She would not let fear rule her.
Yet she nearly screamed at the sight of Aaron standing at the front door. And here she was, holding a broom and looking down at the ring in her hand.
She let the chain drop to her chest and moved towards him on shaky legs.
Should she open the door? Or should she just walk away and pretend that he wasn’t there?
No, that would be running. And she’d already told herself that she was going to see him tomorrow.
She might as well get it over with now.
Might as well break.
But she wouldn’t.
Not again.
She let out a breath and approached the door. Unlocking it, she met his gaze.
“Hi,” she whispered. He swallowed hard, and her gaze went straight to the long lines of his throat.
“Thank you for opening the door. I wasn’t sure you would.”
She looked up at him and frowned. “I wasn’t sure I was going to either for a moment.”
“Can I come in? Or…I can stand right here. I don’t want you to feel like I’m crowding you.”
“Come in. Let’s talk. We need to. And I want to make sure the door’s closed and locked.”
He frowned as he looked around, likely noticing that the chairs were on the tables and the lights were off.
Seduced in Ink: A Montgomery Ink: Boulder Novel Page 18