Scripted Reality: Formerly I Wanna Get Laid by Kade

by Ashton Johns

  “Unfortunately, the lady leaving tonight is…” The drumbeat grew more intense and ferocious… “Dolores.”

  “What the fuck?” she yelled in a crass manner I knew Carson would have to beep out.

  “It was lovely to meet you. Clint, my driver, is waiting outside.”

  “Y’all motherfucking set me up.” Dolores stomped off, very unhappy, followed closely by a second cameraman and sound guy, who were busy catching all her unladylike phrases that would no doubt please Meredith.

  “On to the more pleasant part of the evening, my date for the night.”

  Jess actually portrayed nervousness and shock that she’d even been selected above some of the others, and Honey widened her stance like she was getting ready to sprint in his direction.

  “Jess, please join me this evening. I’d like the opportunity to get to know you better.”

  Honey looked shocked that she’d been turned down, and Vanessa moved over to her and rubbed her arms in a consoling manner. Once again, it was bordering on ridiculous.

  Me, though, I nearly puked up everywhere. My roommate was going to do the one thing I wanted more than anything—spend alone time with Kade. The possibility of what they might get up to was eating away at my insides like a parasite taking over my body

  I hated how this whole experience was making me feel, but even more, I hated how much I hated Jess right now.

  Twenty-Eight

  Kade Sutton

  My pre-eviction-slash-date selection meeting with Carson had not gone well.

  I was told who the date choices were, and I knew it would be a rehash of the massage menagerie from yesterday. No way was I going to put myself through that again.

  I’d been planning on evicting either Honey or Vanessa until Carson reminded me that life would get uncomfortable for Daisy if I didn’t toe the party line.

  That would be Meredith’s party line.

  In the end, we managed to agree on who should be evicted: Dolores.

  She had that odd glint in her eye that spelled trouble. I’d spotted it easily, and I had enough snakes slithering round in the form of Meredith and the production team that I didn’t need them amongst the women, too.

  I was then told that the public had voted for Honey and Vanessa. This show was so rigged it was unreal. So after pointing out that the public would never believe it and that if it got anymore x-rated Meredith would risk it being cut from prime time altogether, Carson agreed to a deal.

  He would pick one of them for the final two, I would pick the other girl, and the choice of date was up to me. His only caveat was that the other girl could not be Daisy. I could live with that, plus it meant Daisy wasn’t being evicted.

  I complied and followed their directions after some negotiation.

  I’d used their scripted bullshit wording.

  In the end, I’d agreed to their date plans and actually had an okay time.

  But I knew, deep down, it was because Jess reminded me of Daisy. She was sweet and considerate like Daisy. She kind of looked a little like the girl haunting my thoughts and I sensed she’d be a good friend too-just like Daisy. In this crazy situation, I needed as many allies as I could get.

  And that led us to now… We’d had some one-on-one time in front of the camera, with a cocktail making class from some bad ass mixologist guy they’d flown in from New York. While Jess’ didn’t taste too bad, mine tasted like shit. The laughs we had about it helped to ease the tension as we moved to sit and talk on the garden bed. I knew they were expecting me to big this up, so that the public were in no doubt that we’d be having a lot more one-on-one time away from the camera.

  I’d stood up and, like a gentleman, offered her my hand. In my mind, I was being the man my Mom had brought me up to be. In the viewer’s eyes, I knew it would be viewed as something entirely different, as a simple gesture that was laden with promise.

  I didn’t drop her hand as I made my way back through the gardens. Brody, ever present by my side, sensed just how nervous I was about what was coming next and came to see if I was okay. Only then did I release her from my grasp so I could squat down to scratch him.

  “You can sleep in the kitchen tonight, buddy. Stay out of the refrigerator and don’t get under Mellings’ feet,” I told him, trying to delay the inevitable for as long as possible.

  As if he was telling me to man up and get on with it, he barked and headed for the kitchen where no doubt Mellings had a member of staff on ‘Brody guard’ over both the refrigerator and pantry.

  “He’s a loyal dog,” Jess commented.

  “He’s the best friend I’ve ever had.”

  “I bet he enjoyed his travels with you.”

  I nodded and reached for her hand again, feeling melancholy because she had no idea just what my ‘travels’ really were. I missed the simplicity of that existence. Just me and Brody, looking out for each other and living from day to day. Find food, find shelter and watch the world go by until Daisy came along and she became the best part of my day. Then I remembered why I was doing this. I’d picked Jess to save Daisy and selfishly keep her in the house, and now it was starting to fuck with my mind that they looked similar. Maybe that was how I would get through tonight, close my eyes and imagine she was Daisy.

  I could see Carson on the far side of the lawn getting antsy. He was completely over my internal battle and wanted me to do as I’d agreed and take her upstairs to my bedroom.

  I knew I had to get my head in the game, so I pulled her to walk alongside me. My nerves were going crazy. If I convinced myself that if it felt like she was walking willingly rather than being dragged behind me to her doom, I might be able to see this through.

  Jess got closer and ran her other hand up the inside of my bicep, dangerously close the tattoo of my mom’s name. And I had to wonder, would my mom be disappointed in me for doing this?

  I had to put that out of my mind. It was enough that I knew Daisy wouldn’t like it, adding my dead mother to that equation was a sure-fire way to kill the mood.

  “I’m a little nervous,” Jess whispered in my ear.

  I stopped and looked at her, aware that the cameras weren’t far behind. Running my thumb along her jaw, I looked into her eyes.

  “Me too, but you know… we’ll figure it out.”

  I started to walk again, finally reaching my hallway and turning down it to head towards my door. Carson agreed that the cameras wouldn’t follow me here. They wanted my pick to be less nervous, but what my pick didn’t know was that there was a single hidden camera and mic right outside the bedroom door.

  But, what about my nerves?

  I hadn’t so much as kissed a girl since I’d hit the streets but did I really want to kiss this girl?

  The door loomed closer and closer.

  My choice was becoming clear: either hyperventilate, grab Daisy and Brody and run out of this zoo or get the fuck on with it.

  Inhaling a secretive breath for courage and resolve, I stopped Jess in front of the door and maneuvered her against the wall, so I was just in reach of the door handle. I stepped up against her body and prayed with all my might that I could see this through. I had to reassure myself that I could handle this now, and more importantly, I could handle what was going to happen as soon as I shut out the rest of the people in the house.

  “I’m going to kiss you now,” I whispered, taking her face in my hands.

  Her breath hitched and her pupils dilated just a tiny bit. She was excited. This was what she’d come for.

  Me. Millionaire, Kade Sutton.

  Her lips parted in anticipation, and I placed a testing gentle kiss on the very edge of them, just to see how they felt. They were soft and warm, and her tongue darted out to meet me as I made the journey to the center of them. There was no room between us now. We were up close and personal, the only sound being that of our lips gently touching. Then thoughts of Daisy flashed through my head and I almost bolted.

  I had to stay. I had to do this.

&
nbsp; After a few more seconds of pulling my shit together, I dived in, getting more involved, and took her mouth in the first real kiss I’d had in forever. My head was not in the game but was worrying whether I would remember how to do this. Would my old skills come back to me? Because call me a dick, but I used to have great skills. Jess reciprocated with fervor and compliance, her hands reaching up to clasp the back of my head. We stayed like that under the hidden camera, giving Meredith what she needed to tease what would be happening on the other side of the bedroom door.

  When I finally broke the kiss, it was obvious that we were both anxious. I couldn’t deny it, it had felt amazing to be desired and kissed like that again, but I’d hoped that my first kiss in years would mean something more to me and not be a publicity stunt.

  “Come on, let’s go inside,” I said, nodding at the door wearily and reaching out to turn its handle before pulling her inside.

  I closed the door on the cameras and sound team, finally getting the privacy this situation deserved.

  After all, no one should see Kade getting laid, let alone for the first time in forever.

  Twenty-Nine

  Daisy Ingles

  Watching Kade and Jess from my bedroom window had been absolute torture. When he held out a hand to help her from the daybed… well, he may as well have torn open my chest and ripped out my heart with his bare hands; that’s how painful it was. I knew the deal when I agreed to this, believe me I did, but I had no idea that my feelings for Kade would become so intense. I don’t know, maybe it was just being trapped inside that house with a bunch of hateful people that caused my feelings for someone I cared about to become heightened. Let’s face it, as nice as Jess and Natalie appeared, they weren’t the usual sort of people I mixed with, yet they were becoming friends—Sisters in Arms. So perhaps that was it with Kade. He was a friendly face in a swamp full of piranhas, so I was clinging to him like a life raft.

  I lost sight of Jess and Kade as they moved into the house, my heart and head told me that I thought of him as much more than a friendly face. The idea of what they would be doing in his room later, caused tears of despair to crawl down my cheeks. I wanted to break down his door and tell him to stop, forget the money and leave with Brody and me. We’d be okay. We’d look after each other and he could come and live in my apartment with me. I would do anything to stop him doing something he could never take back. Something that I would never be able to forget.

  “Hey, Dais,” Natalie said as she pushed into our room.

  “Hi, Natalie,” I replied, moving away from the window and surreptitiously wiping my wet cheeks. “So good for Jess, hey?”

  I tried to bring some lightness to my tone, but all I really wanted to do was curl up into a ball and cry.

  “Yeah, how the fuck did that happen?”

  I looked up sharply and Natalie flashed me a grin.

  “Just jealous,” she chimed, sitting at our vanity table and watching me through the large mirror. “Come on, I like Jess, but don’t tell me you weren’t wondering what she’d done to get the votes.”

  I had wondered, it was true, and if she hadn’t got the votes, I doubted Meredith would have fixed it for her to be in the top two. She wasn’t one of the blondes obviously being favored by production.

  “My guess,” Natalie sighed, “is that Kade has obviously said something on camera about her, maybe during one of his monologues.”

  “L-like what?” I placed a palm against my stomach, trying to quell the nausea that was rolling around it.

  Natalie pulled a brush through her long dark hair, her eyes still on me.

  “That he likes her. The world is full of romantics, Daisy. If he’s said he has feelings for Jess, then they’ll vote for her. Everyone loves a fairytale, Dais. Never forget that.”

  I swallowed back the lump in my throat as Natalie’s gaze left mine and wished that I had a room of my own, because all I wanted to do was get into bed, pull my comforter over my head and sob.

  With emotion tickling at my nose, I put a hoodie on over my sleep shorts and top and decided to go for a walk.

  “Where you going?” Natalie asked as she wiped her eye make-up off.

  “I just need to… erm, I just need some fresh air.”

  As I opened the door to leave, Natalie caught hold of my hand.

  “You okay?”

  I gave her a watery smile and nodded. “Yeah, it’s just been a bit emotional, you know with Dolores leaving and all.”

  “Okay,” she said with a squeeze of my hand, definitely not believing my lie about the wonderful Dolores. “But don’t stay up too late, big day tomorrow.”

  “Do we?” I had no idea what the itinerary was. I wasn’t exactly on Meredith’s list of people to keep in the know.

  “Yeah,” she cried, grinning huge. “We gotta make sure those viewers get to see us and like what they see. You and me, Daisy, we’ll get one of those date nights. You see if we don’t.”

  As I wandered past all the girl’s rooms, I was surprised by how quiet they all were. It was only just eleven-thirty and they all appeared to be sleeping. I guess they all had the same idea as Natalie: get some beauty sleep to make a better impression tomorrow.

  Reaching the top of the stairs, I stopped and looked down the hallway towards the end of the house where Kade’s bedroom was. We weren’t allowed down there, unless invited by Kade of course. The masochist in me, though, wanted to sneak down and listen outside his door, but what would I do if I heard Jess’s moans of pleasure? What would I gain? Absolutely nothing, except more shards of my heart splintering.

  Padding down the thick, carpeted stairs, I looked up at the static cameras and so wanted to flip them off. I didn’t, though, because that wasn’t what good girl Daisy Ingles did. Instead, I smiled graciously and gave a little wave. Meredith would no doubt ensure that didn’t make the show, but I was betting a flip off would have done. I was beginning to hate her more each day, and wished I’d never stopped to talk to Kade that day. Then she would never have seen him and he would still have just been my friend, Kade with his dog, Brody.

  That thought made me feel terrible. How selfish was I being? Kade deserved this and the benefits that came with it. He was a good man and deserved this break.

  When I reached the downstairs hallway, I saw a light shining from the door that led into the kitchen. Maybe someone pleasant would be in there, or maybe it would be Carson filming some poor girl who hadn’t been picked, comfort eating.

  Pushing through the door, I was surprised to see Clint, Kade’s driver, sitting at the table tucking into a huge bowl of spaghetti and meatballs.

  “Hi Clint.”

  “Hey, little lady,” he said, his fork pausing at his mouth. “Whatcha doing up? Everyone else seems to have turned in early.”

  “Can’t sleep.” I shrugged.

  As I moved towards the fridge, Brody suddenly appeared at my side, nudging at my hand with his wet nose.

  “Hey, Brody,” I exclaimed, crouching down to give him a scratch and a hug.

  As Brody pushed into my embrace, I breathed him in and laid my cheek against his soft coat. Tears pricked behind my closed eyes as I took comfort in his familiarity.

  “He’s been relegated to the staff quarters tonight,” Clint said with a deep chuckle. “Kade obviously doesn’t want him in on the action.”

  Clint’s words were like a knife, stabbing into my chest, and without warning, I let out a huge sob as I clung to Brody.

  “Oh shit,” Clint muttered and pushed back his chair. “Hey, Daisy, come on now.”

  Brody gave a little whine and shifted, starting to lick at my bicep that was wrapped around him.

  “I’m sorry,” I cried. “It’s just…”

  Clint dropped to the floor next to me, gently released my hold on Brody, and then pulled me into his hard chest.

  “Hey, come on, shush now,” he soothed, rubbing a huge hand over my hair. “Don’t cry, sweetheart.”

  “I’m so sorry,” I
hiccupped.

  Brody pushed his nose between us, and his tongue came out to mop up my tears. Clint just held me, rocking me gently.

  “It’s all getting too much, hey?” he asked.

  I nodded. “I can’t stay here. It’s too hard.”

  Another great sob erupted from my chest, and Clint’s hold got stronger and Brody’s kisses sloppier.

  After a few minutes, Clint slowly pulled me to my feet and helped me over to the table. He pulled out a chair and sat me down before crouching in front of me.

  “You want a drink?” he asked.

  I shook my head. “I’m so sorry, Clint. I interrupted your supper.” I made to stand up, but he gently pushed me back down.

  “I’m good, sweetheart. Now, why don’t you tell old Clint what’s troubling you. And,” he said with a deep chuckle, “I want the truth, not some BS about missing home, ‘cause I know you ain’t missing that old buzzard you work for.”

  I looked up at him wide-eyed, and then looked around for any cameras.

  “There ain’t any in here,” he said. “Who wants to see what the hired help does? No, the only time a camera will come in here is if there’s some titillation going down. So, whatever you tell me is strictly between us.”

  He reached behind him and taking hold of a chair leg, dragged it forward before getting up and sitting on it. He leaned forward and took my small hands in his huge ones.

  “Okay, shoot.”

  I looked down at Brody, who had his head resting in my lap, and then gave Clint a smile.

  “I think I love him, Clint,” I whispered, chewing on my lip.

  He let out a laugh and shook his head. “Oh, sweetheart, tell me something I didn’t know. I’ve seen in the dailies how you look at him. I see how he looks at you.”