Wait, what? Oh, yeah… “Mm hmm. Verrrrry good.”
He hadn’t even realized the doctor had left until he came sauntering back in the treatment room. “All right, let’s do this.
Okie dokie. That was fine by him. “Yesshhh. Yesshhh, let’s do thisssss.”
The doctor gave him a quick smile. “I see the Dilaudid has kicked in.”
Evan let his eyes drift shut on another breathy, “Mm hmm.”
And thank God for those killer meds, because whoo hoo, they went a long way toward making the injury flush, the dozen or more internal stitches and the twenty surface staples afterward, along with the overkill wrap-up of his foot, go by in a flash. He drifted along that billowy in-and-out stage as they waited a little while longer for his discharge information, his antibiotic and pain med prescriptions, and a pair of crutches and a stylish medical boot to be brought in before he was given a perfunctory heave-ho.
He fought to stay awake as a nurse steered him in a wheelchair toward the ER exit, but it was only a matter of time before he was going to give up that particular ghost altogether. Christ, he was so sleepy. And so worn out. He’d never experienced anything as crazy-assed as what happened out there on that boat, and he never—ever—wanted to again.
But, yes, the night—and all its madness—was officially coming to an end. The sun was just beginning to peek over the horizon as Riley parked their rental in front of the ER doors. She came around from the driver’s side to help out, settling Garrett on the passenger seat first, then helping Evan crawl his way into the rear seat to flop flat on his back. He threw his arm over his eyes again, and wha-la, before he knew what was what, before Riley had the chance to slip in behind the wheel and drive them away, oblivion rose from the depths of his mind and swallowed him whole.
Three days seemed like an eternity for Evan to be so…unproductive—vacation or not. Hurt or not. And it wasn’t just the lazing around that was starting to get to him. It was the fact that—because all he was able to do was lounge on a chaise either on the deck or the beach, or stretch out on the couch in front of the TV—he was single-handedly ruining the rest of Garrett and Riley’s vacation. Sure, they’d told him over and over that wasn’t the case, but he knew better, simply because he was itching to get away from the house for a little while too.
But that wasn’t quite feasible just yet.
He’d stopped taking the pain meds for the most part, but he couldn’t hobble very far without the crutches before his foot would end up aching like a bitch again. He was absolutely fine in every other way if he stayed off it—which is what the doctor, and Riley, had ordered him to do anyway—so here he sat, squarely on his ass on the lower level’s shaded deck, like some sort of goddamn invalid.
Physically he was doing great, current circumstances notwithstanding. Mentally, though… Not so much.
A lot about that last hour in the hospital churned through his mind in a fuzzy blur, but not the moment before the drugs hit him when he realized he loved these two. He hated how the realization created a new helplessness inside him, one that paralleled the disquiet already running through him. The combination froze him, preventing him from confessing his love for them. It’d be too cruel to lay it all out there, then turn around and leave anyway. He just couldn’t do it.
On a frustrated sigh, he tossed the book he’d been trying to read onto the end table beside him. He couldn’t concentrate, had barely been able to since the shark attack and hospital treatment—and he didn’t want to sit here and look too closely at all the reasons why his attention span was skirting around the short end of things.
Sitting across from him, Riley bent the corner of the magazine she’d been reading and peered at him from over the pages. “Uh oh.”
“What?” Garrett had been working a crossword puzzle in the chair next to her while he and Riley had been reading, and Christ, weren’t they just the most exciting trio anybody would hope to find along The Emerald Coast?
Riley didn’t answer Garrett, but instead set her magazine in her lap and met Evan’s stare. “You’re antsy.”
“Yeah.” Among other things. “You guys sure you don’t want to—”
“No.” Her flat expression never wavered.
He narrowed his eyes at her. “But you didn’t even hear my suggestion.”
“Doesn’t matter what it is. I’ve had enough excitement to last me for, God, years. Besides, you both owe me and I’m collecting on that debt by insisting we do absolutely nothing. I’m perfectly happy to sit here and just relax. Matter of fact, I wouldn’t miss out on this quiet time with the two of you. Not for anything.”
Because my time with you is going to be over all too soon.
She didn’t have to come out and actually say the words for Evan to know that was what she was thinking. He could hear the reminder in everything she said to him. He could tell in the selfless way she took care of him, in the way he’d catch her staring at him with such anguish in her eyes.
And yeah, she’d caught him staring at her a few times too.
He’d considered more than once over the course of the last three days about chucking it all and following them back to Chicago tomorrow afternoon. About giving life with them a go. He wanted to. Fuck, how he wanted to. But then he’d get an email from his brother about a new connection he’d made or the head of an architect firm he’d met, and he knew the wheels of this start-up were way too far in motion for him to have a change of heart and back out now. There was so much more at stake here than his own happiness and as much as he hated doing it, he had to take that into consideration first.
“Maybe we could just take a drive. Something.” Anything to keep his mind from sliding down that depressing path.
Riley tossed her magazine on the table too. “You know what I want to do?” When he lifted his eyebrow at her, she lifted hers right back at him. “I want to talk.”
Hold on, what? Talking was all they’d done for the last three days. It wasn’t as if they could do too much of anything else.
“About the attack.”
Ah. Well. That was different, wasn’t it?
“We’ve avoided the topic since it happened,” she said.
Garrett set his newspaper and the pen down on the table too. “It was an accident, Rie. Why dwell on it?”
“I know it was an accident. And I’m not dwelling on it.” Her dark-chocolate stare bore into Evan so deeply, he could feel her fire and determination clear down to his bones. “But you went in after Garrett. There was no hesitation on your part. Not even a second thought of what might happen to you.”
“I had to,” was all he could say.
“Because?”
“He could’ve died. I did what I had to—”
She shook her head. “There’s more to it than that,” she said. “You could’ve died too. But that didn’t stop you from jumping over the side of that boat.”
Evan sighed again, but this time it wasn’t out of frustration. He knew what she was getting at, and he couldn’t deny that what she was thinking was the spot-on truth.
“You did it for me. For Garrett. You jumped in the water with a shark for God’s sake, and you did it for us.”
Yes, he had. And he’d do it again in a heartbeat. But the fact that he’d risked his life to save theirs didn’t stop those frantically turning wheels that were getting ready to hurl him back home to Texas. It didn’t change a damn thing.
He still had to leave.
The deepening blues of the daylight sky were melding into bright pinks and oranges as evening crept up on them. He stared off toward the disappearing sun, staying silent on the outside but bellowing at the top of his lungs on the inside.
God, how he wanted to stay with them.
“You know,” she started, quieter now. “I made a pact with myself when you were in the ER.”
He snapped his gaze toward hers.
“It was silly, I suppose. At the time, I’d honestly meant it. But now?”
He lowered
his voice to a hush too. “What was the pact?”
“That if you’d be okay, if you lived, I’d give you what you want. I’d let you go.”
His heart sank to his toes, because, holy fuck, her letting him go truly was the last thing he wanted. He couldn’t say it out loud though. He couldn’t get her hopes up that maybe he’d stick around, only to blatantly hurt her when he failed to follow through. He had to hide the turmoil eating up his insides because releasing his edginess wouldn’t do any of them a damn bit of good anyway. The truth would only hurt her, and Garrett, and there was no way he’d add to the pain he’d already put them through.
“But I lied, Evan. I’m not going to be able to let you go.”
Ah hell.
He looked at Garrett imploringly, but the other man simply held up his hands in surrender. “Hey, I’m with her. We all fit together, Evan. You feel it. I know you do.”
Of course he did. Nothing in his life had ever felt so right. “I’m sorry,” he managed. It was a lame thing to say, but he meant it. No, he wasn’t sorry for flirting with her those first nights in the hotel. Nor was he sorry for taking them up on their offer to meet in their room the last night they were there. And he sure as hell wasn’t sorry he decided to stay here at the beach house with them.
But right here, right now, he was sorry for this.
“I know you are,” she said. “I am too. If this was a different time, or another place…”
But it wasn’t. And nothing on Earth could change that.
“Thank you, though. Really. For saving Garrett. For not hesitating. For being so strong and getting yourself out of the water too. I came so close…” When her voice cracked, he had to swallow a lump of his own in his throat. “I came so close to losing both of you. It means everything to me that I didn’t. I’m so grateful that you’re both okay.”
She got up and moved over to him then, sliding onto his lap and kissing him oh-so-gently on the lips. “Just know that you’re in my heart. Even though I have no choice but to let you go tomorrow, you’ll still always be with me.”
Sweet Jesus. He couldn’t say anything to that. He couldn’t attempt even a single word, because if he did, he’d absolutely lose it. So instead, he cupped her cheek and kissed her back. Hers in return wasn’t a savage I want to fuck you kiss, it was a sincere and tender I’m falling in love with you kiss.
Hell, falling? Who was he kidding? At that moment, he knew she was in love with him too. Head-over-fricking-heels. A gaping maw grew in the center of his chest, threatening to engulf his heart in one monumental gulp. But he drew strength from somewhere inside him—from her—and shoved the aching void aside to focus solely on her. Come hell or high water, he was going to remember this kiss. He was going to ingrain every detail of it into his brain so he could resurrect the memory on those long, lonely Texas nights that were out there waiting for him. He was determined to remember the sinful way she tasted. The sexy scent of her perfume. The ease with which she melted against him and the way he never wanted any of it to end.
At that thought, she pulled away, and he nearly cried. The smile she gave him fell sweetly from her lips, but he could tell she had to force it. She was his brave girl to the end and damn if that wasn’t another reason—among the many—for him to love the hell out of her.
“I’m planning a special dinner for us tonight,” she whispered against his lips. “And then maybe, for our last night together, we can all snuggle up in bed and watch a movie?”
Something as mundane as dinner in and a TV movie never sounded so amazing. At that moment, all the restlessness of the last few days miraculously dissipated from his body. Instead, he concentrated on the snuggling part she mentioned. He loved holding her in his arms and loved even more keeping her warm and secure between him and Garrett. Nothing else mattered except soaking in every bit of this—of her—that he could, right up to the moment when he’d have to say his goodbyes. “I can’t think of anything that sounds better.”
“Good. No more talk of taking drives, or anything else, then. We have so little time left together and I don’t want to waste any it.”
He flashed her a smile, but it was halfhearted at best. “You’ve got a deal. Promise.”
She scooted off his lap after another quick kiss and disappeared inside the house. Music spilled through the open deck door and a moment later pots and pans clanged from the kitchen. As he listened to the chaos she was creating, he stared off into the Gulf waters, trying like hell to not let his mind wander too far off.
“This is killing you, isn’t it?” Garrett’s tone was deep, yet quiet. “Damn, I think I got it wrong from the very beginning.”
Evan didn’t have a clue what Garrett meant by that. “What did you get wrong?”
Garrett flopped against the back of the deck chair and ran a hand across his three-day-old beard stubble. “I had a feeling I was going to have to pick up the pieces of her broken heart when this week came to an end, but what I didn’t expect was having yours shatter right along with it. You don’t have to do this, man. You know that, right?”
Out of every emotion that had been ricocheting through his insides from the moment he first laid eyes on Riley—the pleasure, the desire, and lately the sadness—anger had never come into play, not until now. Not until Garrett said that.
“That’s where you’re wrong. I do have to do this. I don’t have a goddamn choice.”
“Yes you do. But fuck, just look at you. You’re terrified. She’s not Shannon, you know. And I’m not Brad.”
“Go to hell.”
Garrett clenched his jaw and eyed Evan sideways. “I’m right and that pisses you off more than anything else. You want this so badly—you want her and me and everything that goes along with us—but you’re afraid of getting burned again. Of taking that first deep step into some scary-assed territory. Jump, you asshole. She’s worth it. You know she’s so worth it.”
“Don’t you think I see that? See her? And you? But I made a fucking commitment to my brother. To my family. We’ve both put everything we have into this endeavor. My parents did too. They invested their retirement, Garrett. After a lifetime of never doing anything to make my dad happy, he actually stood up and took a chance on me. He’s invested all of his and my mom’s financial security into our business. Into their sons’ business. So you see, it’s not just about me and what I might or might not be too scared to do or not do. I can’t just up and walk away from everything that’s already in the works because I met the two of you. I can’t walk away from any of this, ever.”
Garrett eased off some, looking honestly disconcerted. “I didn’t know any of that. I’m… Shit. I’m sorry.”
Evan peered over his shoulder to make sure Riley couldn’t hear them. “If circumstances were different, I’d be jumping in headfirst and dragging both of you along with me. But I can’t. And yeah, knowing what I’m missing out on with you two is ripping me apart. Shannon and Brad hurt me, but they sure as shit didn’t kill me. I know exactly what I’m losing here, and my former lovers are not the reason I’m turning away from it.”
Garrett came around the table between them then and sat on the edge of Evan’s chaise lounge. When he hooked his hand behind Evan’s neck and rubbed gently, Evan immersed himself in the other man’s strong and warm touch.
“We don’t have to say goodbye completely, though,” Garrett said. “There’ll be vacations. And we can spend holidays together. Or visit for long weekends. Or all of the above.”
Yeah, that was easy for him to say, wasn’t it? He was the lucky bastard who got to see Riley every day, he was the one who stretched out beside her every night. He could kiss her and touch her whenever he wanted. He could make love to her over and over and not miss out on a single moment with her.
But based on the situation, short visits here and there were as good as it was going to get for Evan. Which completely sucked—and had him fighting back another useless lump growing in his throat. “I guess we’ll have to get by with
that, then.”
“I’m sorry, man. I really am. None of us were expecting this. I wasn’t. I know Rie wasn’t.”
Evan slid his hand over Garrett’s thigh and squeezed. “No, I know. I wasn’t either.”
They held each other’s stare for a moment longer, then Garrett drew him in closer. He rested his forehead against Evan’s and sighed, long and weary. The tender kiss he placed on Evan’s lips a second later shocked him. That wasn’t something Brad had ever done—and whoa, wasn’t that just another reminder of everything he was going to miss out on.
His heart thumped wildly, even as it splintered into a million more pieces.
“We’ll figure it out.” Garrett’s quiet words against his lips were resolute, poignant and so achingly sad.
Evan nodded slightly. “Yeah. Okay.”
“I promise, Evan. I promise you we will.”
Chapter Twelve
Despite his heart ripping in two, Evan had never tasted anything as mouthwatering as the vegetable lasagna Riley cooked for dinner. The spinach salad and cheesy garlic bread were the perfect accompaniments and her choice of wine couldn’t have been any better, either. They laughed while they ate, which did his heart and mind so much good.
Even though he’d laid off the pain pills, the long, exhausting day quickly snuck up on him anyway. He’d dozed off during the movie after dinner, but who could blame him? The three of them were snuggled up in the center of that king-sized bed, arms and legs—all except his right foot, of course—entwined, holding onto each other for dear life.
He glanced up in time to see credits rolling on the screen. When he yawned, Riley peeked over her shoulder at him. “You’re awake?”
“Hmm. Yeah.”
She slipped him a heavenly smile. “You missed half the movie.”
“Huh. Sorry. Was it good?”
She shrugged and bumped his chin with her shoulder. “It was okay. I think I’m done for the day too, though.” She rolled over between them, kissing first Garrett’s cheek, then his own. “I’m just going to take a quick bath. Save my spot.”
Seven Nights Page 14