The Doctor Who Has No Chance (Soulless Book 11)

by Victoria Quinn

  He didn’t answer the question, just stared at me.

  He’d been in a somber mood all week, and when I asked if there was anything wrong, he deflected the question. But he was definitely down, more down than usual, and I wasn’t sure if it was because we’d broken up a couple weeks ago, or if he had something else on his mind.

  I doubted it had anything to do with us, though.

  When he didn’t change his mind within the first couple days, I realized this decision was permanent, and I stopped hoping he would have a change of heart. Dex was off the table permanently—and it was time to move on.

  Zach was making that process much easier.

  Dex stood there for a while, his eyes dropping for a moment as he considered whatever he wanted to say. “Can we talk at the end of the day? There’s something I need to tell you.”

  “Um, okay. Everything alright?”

  “Yeah.” He went back to his office to get ready for the next patient who was about to walk in any moment.

  I watched him go before I turned back to my phone.

  Zach texted me again. He sent a picture of his crotch, his hand pulling out bright red panties from the pocket of his suit. Definitely not gonna get shit done now.

  I had dinner plans with Zach, so I quickly took care of all the office stuff in order for me to be able to leave on time. Whatever Dex wanted to talk about probably wouldn’t take more than fifteen minutes. Otherwise, he would just ask me to schedule a meeting sometime during the day. Andrea left, and then I turned off all the lights in the rear of the office since housekeeping was gone.

  I grabbed my bag and waited for Dex in the seating area in front of the windows.

  Dex came out a moment later, his satchel over his shoulder, walking toward me with the same dimness in his eyes.

  “What’s up?” I stood with my hands in my pockets and watched him come close to me until he towered over me. Even when I wore my highest heels, he was still a mountain beside me.

  He stared at me for a while before he dropped his gaze and looked at the hardwood floor between us. Then he rubbed the back of his neck, his fingers gliding into his short hair. “About a week ago—”

  The elevator beeped before the doors opened.

  We both turned to look at who it was, prepared to give directions because they were clearly lost. It happened sometimes. People came onto our floor, getting confused with another doctor in the building.

  But it was Zach.

  In his crisp gray suit and shiny shoes, he entered the lobby with one hand in his pocket, taking a look at the office as he approached.

  Dex addressed him. “The Landon Firm is one floor above.”

  “Actually, he’s here for me.” I didn’t make eye contact with Dex as I said it, even though I shouldn’t be ashamed. I’d done nothing wrong, and Dex probably had been with several women by now. I turned to Zach. “What are you doing here?” We’d planned to meet at the restaurant.

  He came closer, his eyes on me, wearing that arrogant smirk. “I left the office early and thought I’d swing by. Wanted to check out your office.” His hand moved around my waist. “Don’t act like you aren’t happy to see me, sweetheart.” He gave me a gentle squeeze into his side and placed a quick kiss on my lips.

  I didn’t turn my cheek because that would be so fucked up to Zach, but I felt uncomfortable the entire time, knowing Dex was standing there and watching the whole thing. It was seriously the most awkward moment of my life.

  Zach turned to Dex. “You must be her…wait.” His eyes narrowed. “Dex?”

  Dex’s face was pale as milk, his eyes even more lifeless than before. He stared at Zach with steady eyes that didn’t blink at all, and the subtle outline of the vein in his forehead started to come through.

  Fuck, why did Zach have to swing by?

  Dex didn’t say a word, as if he was incapacitated at the moment.

  “You’re a cardiac surgeon?” Zach asked in surprise. “Damn, I had no idea. That’s awesome, man.” He extended his hand to shake his. “Glad to see you’re doing well.”

  Dex hesitated before he completed the exchange. “Yeah, thanks.”

  Zach turned to me. “I’m glad you two met. Because if he hadn’t poached you from the Trinity Building, this never would have happened. Funny how things work out like that.” Then he looked at Dex again. “Isn’t it?”

  Dex didn’t say a word.

  I knew Zach well enough to know he knew.

  He knew exactly who Dex was without my having to say it.

  I cleared my throat, so tense I thought I might throw up. “Zach, I’ll meet you in the lobby. Dex wanted to—”

  Dex immediately turned away. “Forget it. There’s something else I need to do anyway.” He walked away without saying goodbye and disappeared into his office. Then his door opened and shut.

  Zach shifted his gaze to me, his eyes victorious. “Ready?”

  I gave a curt nod. “Yeah, I’m ready.”

  Zach sat across from me at dinner, telling me about his day, drinking his wine, acting like nothing had happened. He was his same cheerful self, even pulling out my panties to use as a napkin to wipe away the drop of wine on the corner of his mouth.

  I was quiet most of the time, unable to put on the same display.

  Zach eventually addressed it. “So that’s the guy who broke your heart, huh?”

  I’d told Zach I’d fallen pretty hard for someone, but they dumped me and I was pretty heartbroken about it. I didn’t go into details, and he didn’t ask. The reason why I’d told him was because I didn’t want to be deceitful in any way. Even if this was just casual, he deserved my transparency. “Yeah, how’d you know?”

  “Because it was pretty obvious.” He took a drink of his wine before he grabbed his fork and stabbed a stalk of asparagus and popped it into his mouth. “I’ve always liked Dex. Had no idea he was an idiot.”

  “He’s not an idiot. He just… It didn’t work out.”

  “Whatever. His mistake worked out in my favor, so…” He took another drink of his wine.

  “He’s my boss, and I see him every day…is that a problem?”

  He shook his head. “Doesn’t bother me. It doesn’t bother me that you’re still in love with him either.”

  He put me right on the spot, but I didn’t deny it.

  There was no reaction to my silent admission. “Because I’ll make you forget about him eventually.”

  “I thought this was casual.”

  “It is. I just mean, sometimes you have to get under someone to get over someone. What happened between you guys anyway?”

  I stared at my glass of wine as I considered my answer. I didn’t want to share Dex’s private information with anyone, but since Zach and I were seeing each other, I felt like it was unavoidable. “He got divorced just over a year ago, and it’s basically too soon for him to have anything serious. We decided to try to be together a couple weeks ago, but he found out his ex-wife is already getting remarried, and he just…realized he wasn’t ready.”

  “Fuck, that’s rough.”

  “Yeah, he deserves better. I wish he would forget about her, not for my own self-interest, but because he deserves to be happy. He’s honestly the best guy I know, and he should be with a woman who thinks he’s the best guy too. Someone who appreciates him. Someone who’s not going to throw him away for something stupid.”

  Zach didn’t ask for the specifics and let it go. “That’s ironic.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “Because you’re the best woman I know, and he didn’t appreciate you and threw you away.” He gave a slight shrug before he grabbed his glass again. “You’d think someone who’s been through that himself wouldn’t repeat history, but I guess not.”

  Five

  Dex

  “What do you mean, you don’t know if you should say something?” Daisy sat across from me at the dining table in my apartment, eating a slice of pizza and washing it down with a beer. “Is this a joke
?”

  It had been like being punched in the stomach and the balls at the same time. Air left my body when I saw them together, when I saw that handsome billionaire wrap his arm around her waist, intentionally claiming her.

  It was so fucking intentional.

  Everything I wanted to say had left my brain. The English language left me.

  “Dex?” Daisy pressed. “Why wouldn’t you tell her?”

  “I didn’t know she was seeing anybody. Blindsided…”

  “You think a hot woman like that stays single for long? No, Dex. Men will line up around the block for an opportunity to be with her. You just expected her to sit there and pout in her misery?”

  “No—”

  “Let me give you some enlightenment. A woman worth waiting for doesn’t wait for anybody.”

  “I understand that—”

  “She did the right thing by moving on, and Zach is super hot—”

  “Jesus, can I talk?”

  Her eyes narrowed viciously before she opened her mouth and took a deliberate bite of her pizza.

  “She has every right to move on with somebody else. That’s not my issue. I just… I’m not sure if it would be right to say anything to her when she’s clearly moved on, or is trying to. It feels like a dick move. I already did it once with Dom, and I’m not sure if I can do it again. I had my chance with her, and I blew it…”

  She continued to eat her pizza, chewing in silence.

  I waited for my sister to say something, replaying that moment of Sicily and Zach in my head. He was handsome, charming, rich…that was all I knew about him. I could tell Sicily was uncomfortable by the entire thing too, but I knew she wasn’t in agony the way I was.

  It was like a dagger in each of my lungs, taking away my ability to draw a single breath ever again.

  Daisy grabbed another slice.

  “Are you going to say anything?”

  “Oh, now you want me to talk?” She took another bite, taking her time chewing just to be obnoxious. “You only ended things a couple weeks ago, so it’s not like she’s serious with this guy. I honestly think she’d want to know that you turned down that stupid cunt—”

  “Daisy, don’t talk about her like that.” Even if Catherine deserved it, it didn’t sit right with me. I would always be angry with her for what she’d done, but I didn’t think she deserved to be spoken about in that way. “I’m serious.”

  She rolled her eyes. “As I was saying…I think Sicily would want to know. This guy is probably just a rebound. The way she feels about you…that’s real. You’re the Louis Vuitton purse, and everything else is a knock-off.”

  “Did you just compare me to a purse?”

  “It’s just an analogy, alright? Talk to her.” She took another bite of her pizza. “In other news, we’re going to do that dinner on Saturday in a few weeks.”

  “What dinner?”

  She gave me an irritated look. “Where I introduce Mason to Mom and Dad.”

  Fuck, that was still happening? “Mason agreed?”

  “Yes.”

  “So, what did Dad say?”

  “I told Mom and let her do the dirty work.”

  That was probably smart.

  “It’ll be the five of us. And we’re going to Dad’s favorite place, so he’ll have something to look forward to.”

  “Alright, let’s hope for the best.”

  It was awkward the next day.

  More awkward than the day after I broke things off.

  More awkward than pretty much any other moment of my life.

  I was at the research facility, and when I arrived, my breakfast was there on time. She was also there, having my schedule and other information to share with me. The weather had improved, so she wore dresses with short sleeves and heels instead of boots, and her skin was as beautiful as I remembered.

  She sat in the armchair facing my desk, making notes on her tablet. “Morning.” She purposely didn’t look at me, like that would make it less tense for us to be in the same room together.

  “Morning.” I sat down behind my desk and grabbed my coffee. I didn’t touch my food because I’d permanently lost my appetite after yesterday.

  She rattled off things that required my attention, going over the call list, virtual follow-up appointments that I had, and a couple other things. She read off her screen, continuing to avoid eye contact.

  When I thought about the two of them together, it made my throat and stomach line with acid. It didn’t matter who the guy was. This would have been my reaction, regardless. I used to tell her everything, and now I kept my thoughts and feelings to myself…and that hurt too.

  She looked up when I didn’t say anything. “Dex?”

  I met her look.

  She met mine.

  It lasted a while, awkward and painful, like we were both thinking the same thing.

  I powered through it. “I saw Catherine last week.”

  She inhaled a sharp breath at my announcement, the awkwardness gone because it was replaced by shock. “Oh my god…” She let the tablet fall flat onto her thighs because her fingertips lost their grip.

  “She apologized to me…said she made a mistake…and wanted me back.”

  Her eyes slowly dropped, as if visualizing the scenario. “That was what you wanted to talk about yesterday…”

  “Yeah.”

  She gave a slight nod but kept her gaze down. “Dex, it’s your life. Do what you want. Do whatever makes you happy. But I think you deserve someone who wouldn’t take a year to realize her mistake, and preferably, someone who wouldn’t make that mistake in the first place—”

  “I didn’t take her back.”

  She took a couple breaths before she lifted her chin and looked at me.

  “If this were a couple months ago, I probably would have. Every time I’d imagined her coming back to me, I always took her back. But when it actually happened…that wasn’t my response. It didn’t feel right. And I know the only reason it didn’t feel right is because of you.”

  Her breathing started to deepen, her eyes wide and staring, like she needed more time to process what I said before she could react.

  So, I waited—patiently.

  But a response never came. Her eyes eventually dropped again.

  “Baby?” The name floated out of my mouth, bouncing off my tongue like a cloud.

  She lifted her gaze and looked at me again. “What…what does that mean?”

  “It means…that I choose you.” Without Sicily, I would have taken Catherine back in a heartbeat, despite what she did. But my feelings for Sicily cast doubt, made me realize I would regret not seeing where this could go, that maybe we could have what my parents had, what my brother had.

  She didn’t look thrilled or relieved—at all.

  Was I an idiot for thinking she would jump back into my arms and forget about Zach? I was disappointed, when I shouldn’t have had any expectations in the first place.

  “Dex…” She shook her head slightly. “I just… I don’t want to be a choice.”

  My eyes narrowed in confusion.

  “I want to be the only one in your heart—so there is no choice. It’s just me…and that’s it.”

  When she put it like that, I realized it was a shitty thing to say.

  “You deserve to be with someone who loves you wholeheartedly and unconditionally, who’s not going to betray you for any reason. But I realize…I deserve that too. I want to love a man the way your mom loves your dad—and be loved the way he loves her. The way Derek loves Emerson. To know that I was always the one, that I was always the one you couldn’t live without. I want to be loved the way you love Catherine…that’s what I want. And as much as I love you…” She dropped her gaze, her eyes watering.

  I closed my eyes because that was a blow to my heart. It was the first time she’d ever said that to me, and she said it in the most painful way.

  “I don’t want to be an option. I don’t want you to pick me because I tr
eat you the way you deserve. I want you to love me with that all-consuming, passionate, have a picture of me in a box stuffed in your closet kind of way.” She lifted her eyes, her cheeks wet now. “Not just because I’m better for you.”

  Fuck, I hated myself. Loathed myself.

  “I liked Dom, and then you kissed me…and I didn’t think about him again. There was no choice. It was always you. But then you dumped me, and it hurt…so much.” More tears came.

  It hurt me a million times more to see her cry than it did with Catherine.

  “It hurt because all she had to do was get engaged, and you were completely lost. You shouldn’t have cared in the first place—”

  “You’re absolutely right. I don’t disagree with any of that. But you’re also forgetting a vital part of the story. You knew how I felt about Catherine before you made your move. You told me you didn’t care, that you were happy to take it slow, that you were fully aware of my situation and you wanted to be with me, regardless. I never would have kissed you if you hadn’t done that. You rushed it when you shouldn’t have. Then I rushed it too. Because there’s no denying that we’re great together, that we want to be together, that this could be damn perfect…if the timing was right.”

  Her tears stopped, and she stared at me.

  “I wanted you the moment I saw you, and I never acted on it because I knew full well that I couldn’t give you what you deserved. The only reason that changed is because you said you were okay with it—”

  “Well, I’m not anymore…”

  “Okay, that’s fine.” I just didn’t want her to portray me as some big asshole when I was more of a smaller asshole. “The timing…isn’t right.” If only I’d met her a few years later or met her before Catherine, it would have worked. “We both know it. Maybe we can try again later, when I’m in the right place to give you all of me, my entire heart, my soul. I can’t see myself ever wanting anyone the way I want you, so maybe when I’m finally in that place…we could have that.”

  “You can’t expect me to wait around—”

  “I don’t.” I didn’t want to think about her with Zach or somebody else. I wanted her to be mine, right now, but I didn’t deserve her…and I might never deserve her. “I know a woman worth waiting for doesn’t wait for anyone else.”