The Doctor Who Has No Chance (Soulless Book 11)

by Victoria Quinn

  It was a perfect balance because it allowed Dex to do this work but also spend time with his son. And Ryan spending his time in his father’s glory was probably intellectually stimulating for him, and he’d probably have memories from these office visits for the rest of his life.

  We went to Catherine’s apartment on Sunday night to pick him up since we had him until Tuesday night, but I had a bit of dread in my heart. I wanted Catherine and me to get along, and after the way Dex screamed at her for what she said to me, I suspected we never would. I really didn’t want her to hate me, because that would make things complicated with Dex, but there was nothing I could do about it.

  We walked down the hallway together toward her apartment.

  “Maybe I should stay in the lobby—”

  “No.” He kept his eyes ahead, moving at normal speed.

  “We should be diplomatic about this.”

  “Diplomatic?” He stopped in his tracks and looked at me. “You think not bringing you is diplomatic? I’m not doing that. You practically live with me, you work with me every single day, so I’m not going to hide you. I don’t care if that bothers her.”

  “I just mean right now…since things are a little tense.”

  He was still furious about what she’d done, and he would probably be furious forever. “The only reason things are tense is because she made them tense. She gets no sympathy from me. So, buck up, and let’s do this.”

  “I’m not scared of her—”

  “Then what’s the problem?”

  I released a defeated sigh.

  He grabbed my hand and pulled me along. “Let’s go get my boy.” He made it to the door and knocked.

  From the other side of the door, Ryan’s voice was audible. “Daddy!”

  Dex’s smile was wider than I’d ever seen it, his eyes full of lighthouse beacons. His hand moved over his heart like it just gave a jolt. “Oh man, Little Dude is gonna kill me…”

  Catherine opened the door with Ryan in her arms.

  “Daddy!” Ryan immediately reached his arms out.

  It was almost too much to watch.

  “Little Dude, I missed you so much.” He immediately took him out of Catherine’s arms and pulled him close. “Wow, are you bigger than the last time I saw you?” He tested his weight. “What is your mom feeding you? You’re heavy, man.”

  He chuckled a little bit and circled his arms around Dex’s neck.

  Dex’s eyes softened before they closed, holding his son like it was the greatest moment of his life.

  I looked at Catherine.

  She looked at me, her eyes cold but not hostile.

  “Give me a kiss.” Dex kept one hand on his back so he wouldn’t fall over, and they shared an embrace. “And look, it’s Sicily.”

  Ryan looked at me, his eyes brightening like he recognized me. “Sissy…”

  My heart melted into a puddle on the floor, and just like that, I fell in love. I fell in love with him quicker than his father. “Hey, sweetheart. I missed you.”

  Dex handed him off to me.

  I faltered initially, not expecting Dex to give him up so quickly, especially not in front of Catherine. But I took him, our faces close together. “Your dad wasn’t kidding. You’re getting so big.”

  He wrapped his arms around my neck and hugged me.

  “Aww…” I hugged him back, loving this little mini Dex.

  Catherine gave a loud sigh. “Can I talk to you for a sec?”

  “No.” Dex blurted out the answer coldly.

  Catherine narrowed her eyes. “It’s going to be difficult for us to co-parent if you won’t give me the time of day. And you aren’t setting a very good example.”

  Once she pulled that string, Dex complied. “Baby, I’ll be right back.” He squeezed Ryan’s foot before he joined Catherine inside the apartment. They probably moved into the living room, but their voices were still audible.

  “I know you’re mad at me—”

  “I think mad is an understatement,” Dex snapped. “And I’m happy to talk about Ryan and anything related to parenting, but I don’t want to talk about anything else, especially this.”

  “I just want to clear the air, okay? I want things to be civil.”

  Dex was quiet, probably because he had no argument against that.

  “So, can we be civil?”

  “Yes. We can. I’d like that, Catherine.”

  I continued to hold Ryan in my arms as I listened to the two of them talk.

  “How was your trip?” she asked.

  “Good. Long and dirty, but it was worth it.” After a long pause, he said, “I’ll have him back on Tuesday.”

  “Dex?”

  “Hmm?”

  “Despite what you think, I didn’t try to tear you apart. If there was any chance of us being a family, I wanted to try. I thought she should know that, that’s all. I think a lot of people would want to know that.”

  He kept his voice low and controlled, even though he was probably pissed. “I don’t know how many times I have to say this, but the three of us are still a family. Together or apart, that doesn’t change. You need to get with the twenty-first century. The fact that we’re not married doesn’t make Ryan a bastard. I know all you really want is another chance to make things work between us, and I understand that, because most of the last eighteen months were spent missing you. But life happens, things change, and even if Sicily left me, I wouldn’t come back. It’s weird to think that if your father hadn’t passed away or I hadn’t been the physician, we’d probably be together right now. It is mind-boggling. We can play that what-if game forever, but it’ll never change what did happen. I know it’s hard, but you have to let it go. And make no mistake, I will always love you, Catherine. When you love someone the way I loved you, you always do, in a way. I’ll always be here for you, I will always be your friend, I will always come to your side if you need help. But…that’s it. It’s over. It’s done. It’s final. I hope you can accept that.”

  Catherine was quiet for a long time. “Yes, I can. I talked to your mom the other day, and…it sounds like I wouldn’t be welcome in the family anyway.”

  I was uncomfortable that she’d gone around Dex like that, but in the end, it didn’t matter. His family wanted me for him, not her. They deemed me worthy of loving Dex.

  Dex didn’t have anything to say to that.

  “She told me a lot about Sicily,” she said quietly. “Made me realize I never stood a chance. If Sicily were someone else, maybe…”

  “What did my mom say?” Dex asked.

  “That Sicily is the most selfless person she’s ever met, that she takes care of you the way she’s always wanted a woman to take care of her son. That the two of you are basically the same person. That I don’t hold a candle to her. That if she could choose the ideal woman for you, it would be her.”

  “Okay, Little Dude. Bath time is over.”

  Ryan sat in the tub with his dinosaur toys, playing with them under the water. He ignored his father, like that would be enough to get his way.

  “Little Dude…”

  Being around Ryan made me see all the subtle aspects of his personality, how he silently defied his father, the little grins he would give to get his way. It was freakin’ adorable.

  “Alright.” Dex hit the button so the drain would open.

  Ryan immediately started crying.

  “Come on, man.” Dex grabbed the towel and got ready to dry him off. “You’ll get a bath tomorrow.”

  He just sobbed and sobbed, like we’d done something terrible to him.

  I tried not to laugh because it was a little funny, seeing him bawl his eyes out because the water was going away.

  Dex picked him up, and together we dried him off, while he continued to sob loudly and make his face turn red, the vein in his forehead emerging.

  “He looks just like you when you get mad,” I teased.

  Dex gave me a playful glare then carried Ryan into his room so we could g
et his diaper on and his pajamas. Since Dex was such a technical person, he could get that diaper on at lightning speed. Clothes were easy too, even socks. By the time Ryan was bundled and comfortable, he’d stopped crying, totally forgetting about the warm bath that was unfairly taken from him. Then he got sleepy.

  “See?” Dex said. “You’re already over it.”

  The three of us went to bed in the master bedroom, putting him between us on his back, and within minutes, he was dead asleep.

  Dex was turned on his side, shirtless with his muscular arm on top of the sheets, and he had a tired look in his eyes as he looked at Ryan. Taking care of a baby was exhausting. But also rewarding.

  I watched Ryan until I felt Dex’s gaze on my face. I met his eyes, a baby between us.

  He whispered to me. “I like having a kid. It’s fun.”

  “Yeah, it’s great.”

  “Kinda makes me want to have more…”

  My eyes steadied on his face, unsure what that meant, if it meant anything at all.

  “So, are you interested in that, or…?”

  “Am I interested in what, exactly?” I asked. “You know I want to grow a family with you.”

  “But, like, you know…sooner rather than later.”

  “Like, right now?” I asked incredulously.

  “Not right this second,” he said with a chuckle. “But, you know, a couple months…a year. Something like that.”

  I stared at him, dumbfounded. “Are you asking me to have a family with you?”

  “Pretty much, yeah. It would be nice if Ryan had siblings close in age. Derek is much older than me, so I feel like that’s been a bit of a hindrance to our relationship. Daisy and I are much closer just because we’re going through the same stages of life at the same time.”

  “But we aren’t married or anything…”

  “You want to get married?”

  “I…what?” I asked, unable to believe this conversation was happening. “Are you proposing to me right now?”

  “No. I’m just trying to feel you out. It hasn’t been that long, I get it. But I’m totally down if you are.”

  “Totally down?”

  “That wasn’t a romantic way to put it, but yeah,” he said with a chuckle. “So…are you down for that?” He observed my features, trying to get my answer from just my expression.

  I’d known I wanted to marry Dex instantly. I’d known I wanted forever instantly. I just didn’t think he would feel the same way, especially when his first marriage turned into a shitshow. “If you’re asking if I would say yes, you already know my answer. And as for growing our family, I’m down with that too. My mother would be thrilled.”

  He grinned. “Perfect.”

  Ryan joined us at work the next day, sitting in Dex’s carrier most of the time because he liked the attention. Dex would sit across from his patients and discuss their plan of treatment, while Ryan would reach for the papers in his father’s hand or stare at the patients across the way. It was actually really sexy watching him carry a baby everywhere, made childcare some weird form of foreplay.

  “Your son is so adorable.” The wife of the patient was so enamored of Ryan that she extended her hands. “Can I hold him?”

  “Sure.” Dex pulled Ryan out of the carrier and leaned forward to hand him over.

  She took him and balanced him on her lap, all her worries instantly gone. Her husband was smitten too.

  Dex had a look of pride in his eyes, not that Ryan was such a cute kid, but that he naturally made people feel better the way he did. “He’s kinda like a service animal. Just makes people happy, you know?”

  “He does.” She turned to her husband. “Remember when Andy was this age?”

  He nodded. “I do.”

  When patients left his office, Dex usually changed Ryan’s diaper and gave him some attention before he sat at his desk and looked over the imaging for the next patient. He actually taught him things too, although he was probably too young to understand. Dex would point to the screen. “See that? It’s your heart.” He pressed his hand to Ryan’s chest. “Your heart, the most recognizable organ in the body. Despite what people think, it doesn’t break when you get your heart broken, but it might feel that way sometimes.”

  Seeing them together made me love Dex even more, because he was naturally a great father, so affectionate and warm, happy to make sacrifices for his new role rather than bitter about it. It definitely made my ovaries burn a bit. “I’ve got a couple more patients for the day. I think it might be nap time for Ryan.”

  Ryan looked wide awake, and he shook his head when he heard the word nap. “No.”

  Dex chuckled. “Sorry, Little Dude.”

  “No,” he repeated.

  It amazed me how smart he was, how much he inherited from his father.

  “I’ll see you right after, okay?” He kissed his forehead, but he handed him off to me. “And after work, we’re going to do something fun, alright? I have a surprise for you, but you have to be a good boy.”

  Ryan didn’t burst into tears, as if he understood every word.

  After I put him down for a nap, I came back. “So, what’s the surprise?”

  He grinned. “I thought we could go get that dog.”

  We went to the shelter to search for a family pet, one that would be gentle with Ryan, with a warm and loving heart. There were a lot of great options, but Ryan only cared about an Australian Shepherd that stayed in his corner and ignored everyone who walked by. He was brown and white, with one blue eye and one gray.

  “I don’t think he likes us, sweetheart,” I said as I kneeled beside him.

  Dex did the same. “He looks tired, Little Dude. But there’re lots of other guys here who would love a home.”

  “Puppy.” Ryan kept rattling the catch with his little hands. “Puppy?”

  The Australian Shepherd lifted its chin and looked at him.

  “Puppy?” Ryan repeated. He slid his hand inside one of the little holes.

  The dog got up and walked over, in a defensive stance, clearly terrified, but not terrified enough not to investigate.

  “Little Dude, get your hand back outside.” Dex gently pulled it through.

  The dog came over and started sniffing.

  Ryan giggled. “My puppy.”

  One of the employees walked over. “I haven’t seen Riley interact with anyone before. She just stays in her corner.”

  Riley continued to sniff Ryan, getting his face close.

  “You guys want me to open the door?” the employee asked.

  I let Dex decide.

  He stared at his son for a while before he gave a nod. “Yeah, they should meet.”

  When the door was unlocked and open, Riley ran back to her corner again.

  Dex carried Ryan inside and kneeled so Ryan could stand in front of her, but Dex’s arms were there to snatch him up if things took a wrong turn. “Talk to him, Little Dude.”

  “Puppy,” Ryan said. “Puppy…”

  Riley watched him for a bit before she slowly came over again, eyeing Dex like she was afraid of him but not afraid of Ryan. She came closer and closer, smelled him all over again, and then Ryan fisted her fur.

  Riley didn’t run around.

  “Puppy!” Ryan circled his arms around her neck and hugged her.

  Riley was totally fine with it and even started to wag her tail.

  Ryan giggled as he dragged his hand over her fur then lay on her.

  Dex watched and gave a deep sigh. “Well, looks like we found our dog. She’s gonna need some work, but I trust Ryan’s judgment, so…we’ll take her.”

  We took Riley with us to drop off Ryan. On her leash, she walked with us, always a little tentative but warming up. We knocked, Catherine came, and she stilled when she saw Riley. “Oh…you got a dog?”

  I held the leash while Dex held Ryan. “We thought it would be good for Ryan to have a friend.”

  “Oh…” Catherine took Ryan from Dex and smothered him in
kisses. “I missed you, baby.”

  “Mama.” He hugged her back.

  Riley tried to walk into the apartment and tugged on her leash to get inside.

  “Whoa, honey.” I gave her a gentle pull back. “It’s okay.”

  Catherine said goodbye and then took Ryan into the apartment.

  When the door shut, Riley started to whine and paw at the door, devastated he was gone.

  “Hey, girl.” Dex kneeled beside her and started to pet her. “I miss him too, but he’ll be back.”

  She moved away from his touch but kept her snout against the door.

  “Poor thing.” I kneeled and petted her. “She’s obviously afraid of men.”

  “Yeah, I think so too,” he said with a sigh. “Well, she’ll trust me eventually. Let her take her time.”

  I got to my feet again and gave a gentle click of my tongue. “Come on, Riley. Let’s go.”

  Twenty-Eight

  Dex

  Unless Sicily was with me in the apartment, Riley stayed away.

  She didn’t sleep with me and chose to sit in corners of random rooms.

  I kept her bowl filled with food and water and just let her be. Potty training her was hard because she was already scared, but I understood. She at least went to the bathroom on the hardwood instead of a rug or carpet, so that was easy to clean up. I didn’t punish her for defecating in the house because she was already skittish enough as it was. How could I punish her with negative reinforcement when she was already terrified?

  I knew she missed Ryan too.

  We all did.

  I wished I could keep him all the time, but that wasn’t how life was sometimes.

  Just had to deal with it.

  I went out for drinks with Derek, the two of us getting a couple beers and a plate of sliders to split. I invited Daisy, but she was running late at the office.

  “You got a dog?” Derek asked incredulously. “You?”

  “What do you mean, you? What’s that supposed to mean?”

  “Like a baby isn’t enough work for you? You had to step it up?”