The K Word: Cameron (Redefine Me #0.5)

by Michelle MacQueen

  “I thought you didn’t want to go,” Peyton said.

  “Changed my mind. You don’t mind, do you Cam?” He gave Cameron a hard slap on the back.

  Cam sent him a scathing look, but only to cover the relief he felt. “Of course not.” Cameron sighed as he backed out of the driveway. How was he supposed to tell Peyton nothing could happen between them if he didn’t believe it himself?

  Addison lived in a wealthy neighborhood across town. Their house sat on the lake just below the fals. Cam glanced sideways at Peyton as her eyes lit up. She’d always loved the lights around the lake at Christmas time and Cam had always loved taking her there.

  Now that he thought back on their friendship, his favorite times were the ones that made her happy. Had he always had feelings for her?

  That revelation was enough to shock his world.

  As they got out of the car, Cameron grabbed Peyton’s hand. “Careful,” At the weird look she gave him, he explained. “It’s icy out here.” That seemed to be enough for her, but it hadn’t been the truth. He’d reached for her hand without thinking. And she’d let him.

  They talked for a while longer, but his mind wasn’t in the conversation. He had to put a stop to whatever was happening between them. There was no other choice. He pulled her to a stop. “Listen, Peyton.” He sucked in a breath, pulling her a closer. “We’ve always been friends, right?”

  “Of course.” Her eyes read his face as if she knew every thought flicking through his mind.

  “Let’s not ruin—”

  Avery’s voice cut through the air. “Cam, we need you in the pool house, STAT.”

  His shoulders dropped.

  Peyton released his hand, and he instantly missed her warmth. A guarded look washed over her face. He’d put it there.

  Addison appeared, calling to Peyton.

  Their moment was gone, broken. Had she known he was going to say they should just stay friends? Was that what she wanted?

  Avery’s large frame lumbered across the icy drive until he reached Cam’s side. “Dude.” He put a heavy hand on his shoulder. “You okay? You’re all pale and shit.”

  Cam shrugged him off as Julian’s glare burned into him.

  “I need a drink.”

  Avery grinned. “Then you’ve come to the right place.”

  Cam followed his friend inside where Cooper awaited them. Drinking and Olympic training didn’t mesh, but it was Christmas Eve. For just one night, Cam didn’t want to think about the fact that he’d be spending the holiday without his family or that he suddenly developed this urge to ruin the best thing in his life with a kiss.

  He scrubbed a hand over his face as he accepted a beer from Cooper. Something told him he’d ruin it if he didn’t kiss her.

  Was their easy friendship already gone?

  Chapter 3

  Cam glanced over his shoulder for the millionth time, waiting for the girls to join them. He didn’t understand what always took them so long. He knew when not to interrupt their “girl talk”, but he also knew Addison. Right this minute, she was probably plastering Peyton’s smooth skin with too much makeup and convincing her to forget everything in the bottom of a cheap metal can.

  He peered at the can in his own hand. Yep. He was a hypocrite.

  He took another sip of beer, trying to calm down enough to enjoy the party happening around him. The people he supposed were friends scattered around the room. Peyton connected him to each of them. Cooper and Julian were her brothers. Avery had clung to Peyton and Nari when he first moved next door to Nari in the fifth grade. Addison’s parents were friends with Peyton’s.

  Even as they grew up and chose different paths in high school, they’d stuck together. But did Cam actually know any of them? If anything, he was the loner of the group, using his training as an excuse to beg out of activities most teenage boys wanted to be a part of.

  Commotion came from the door as a rush of giggling girls entered the house. How did Cam end up at a party full of football players and cheerleaders?

  Oh right, it was better than spending Christmas Eve alone.

  Escaping the pandemonium caused by a bunch of girls squealing as if they hadn’t seen each other in years, when in fact break only started last week, Cam skirted the edge of the fancy dance floor over the indoor pool and entered the pool house.

  He found Cooper in the back room sitting on the oversized leather sofa obliterating some poor fool in a racing game. Cam didn’t recognize the kid, but he didn’t make a habit of getting to know his classmates. He tapped his fingers against his leg, wanting nothing more than to leave the noise and the crowd.

  Cooper shot up from the couch, his arms raised in victory as he threw the controller down. “I’m the master of the universe!” His blue eyes – the telltale difference between him and his twin – shone with triumph. Cooper had always been the competitive one of their group.

  Cam only shook his head and took another drink. A girl he’d never seen before in a tight green sweater appeared at his side. Reindeer antlers rested in her sleek blonde curls.

  “Hi Cam,” she said shyly.

  How did she know him?

  “Hey.” He lifted the can to his lips and downed the rest of his beer.

  The girl stepped in front of him and turned. She peered up at him with too-wide eyes. He wouldn’t be a guy if he didn’t react to her presence. Whoever she was, the girl was a goddess.

  “You don’t know my name, do you?” A smile appeared on her lips as if she found him humorous.

  “Um, no.” His cheeks reddened as his eyes searched for a way out.

  Before she could respond, an arm wound around Cam’s shoulders. “I see you’ve met Ashley.” Avery chuckled. “Don’t mind my boy, here, Ash. He’s just inexperienced.”

  That word stabbed through him. It wasn’t untrue, but the way Avery said it… He looked sideways at the guy who was supposed to be his friend. Avery’s eyes were glassy from drink. He swayed on his feet, and Cam gripped his arm to hold him upright.

  “I was wondering,” Ashley began. “Do you want to go upstairs to… talk?”

  He groaned as he skimmed her slim frame. No, he didn’t want to go with her. At least he didn’t want to want to go. It wasn’t because she wasn’t beautiful or because he didn’t have hormones raging through his blood.

  She wasn’t Peyton.

  Her smile didn’t stop his heart.

  “Sorry,” he muttered.

  Avery laughed again. “I’ll go with you, Ash.”

  She huffed. “As if. I don’t feel like catching any diseases on Christmas Eve.” She stormed away.

  “You have the willpower of a saint, my friend.” Avery patted his shoulder.

  Cam stepped away from him. “Did you send her over to me?”

  Avery shrugged, a smirk firmly planted on his lips.

  “Give it a rest, Avery. I’m not interested in screwing my way through the squad.”

  “Fair enough. You can leave them for me.”

  If there was one thing Cam appreciated about Avery, it was he knew when to back down. With a chuckle, Cam bumped his shoulder. “Didn’t sound like she was interested, brother.”

  Avery ran a hand through his hair, a self-deprecating laugh rumbling through his chest. Even as the running back of the football team, Avery had no ego. When he wasn’t drinking, Cam even enjoyed hanging out with him. He didn’t take himself too seriously despite being a serial flirt.

  He liked to think the friendships their group had kept them all grounded, humble. They cared about each other enough to show their true selves.

  Avery, face flushed with alcohol, laughed again. “Whatever man. At least I’m not crushing on the resident fat girl.”

  It took a moment for the words to register in Cam’s mind. He stood frozen in place, not hearing the words ‘fat girl’ only ‘crushing’. Avery knew about his feelings for Peyton? Was that why he’d sent Ashley over? Because he thought they wouldn’t work? A long time ago, they’d decided
on one rule for their friendship. No dating each other, it would ruin the dynamic of the group. But the kids who’d made that rule had been ten years old.

  Back then, kissing anyone had seemed gross.

  The full weight of what Avery had said didn’t hit Cam until some kid he didn’t know from the football team yelled out. “Burn. What’s it like trying to wrap your arms around that, Cam?”

  Shame flashed across Avery’s face for only a second before he replaced it with an uncaring mask.

  A low cry sounded from the door, and Cam snapped his eyes to Peyton. Embarrassment flooded her face, and she refused to look him in the eye. All he could do was stare as his heart ripped straight through his chest.

  Crushing on the resident fat girl. Avery’s words finally struck him. Peyton was so not fat.

  He wanted to call to her. To tell her she was perfect. And once Avery slept off the booze, he’d apologize and all would be okay again. It had to be.

  But the expression on her face cut through him. Disappointment. Anger. Not directed at Avery, but at him. At Cam. He realized too late she wanted, needed him to say something, anything.

  Peyton fled from the room, and all Cam could do was watch her, his feet rooted to the floor.

  A hand gripped his arm, spinning him around before a fist connected with his cheek. A string of curses flew from Cam’s mouth as he stumbled back.

  “What the hell, man.” Cam glared at Julian. “I wasn’t the one who said it.”

  “We all know Avery is an idiot,” Julian growled. “But you’re supposed to care about her.”

  “I do!” He hung his head, the sting fading slightly. “I do.” He sucked in a breath. “I need to find her.”

  “I can’t let you do that.” Julian used his big frame to block the door.

  “Aw, brother,” Cooper slurred. “Let lurver boy go save his princess.”

  “His fat princess,” one of the football players murmured under his breath.

  Cam turned and stormed to the guy who’d spoken, glaring down at where he sat on the couch. “Say it again. I dare you.”

  The boy only laughed.

  Cam twisted his fingers in the boy’s collar and yanked him up before driving his knee into his lower regions. “There, maybe that’ll keep you from creating hateful spawn.” He pushed the kid back. The footballer’s frame landed on the couch as he gasped for breath.

  Cam didn’t spare him another glance. “Anyone else have something to say.” He turned to Avery. “You’re my friend, but that won’t stop me from kicking your drunk ass.”

  “Cam—”

  “No. You’ve said enough.”

  Cam reached the door and shoved Julian aside. Peyton’s brother gave him an approving nod.

  Where would she have gone? She couldn’t leave because he’d driven her. Cam reached the walk way between the pool house and the dancefloor, scanning the snowy yard. The trees surrounding the lake were only shadows in the night. Would she have gone toward the lake? Hopefully not in the dark. Worry gnawed at him. Knowing Peyton she hadn’t even grabbed her coat.

  Not that he’d had the sense to grab his own. He ran his hands up and down his own arms. His breath left his mouth in a puff of steam, spiraling toward the sky. Thankful he hadn’t removed his boots, he stepped off the pathway into the packed snow. He rounded the large house and charged up the steps to the icy back deck of the main house.

  The cleat lights wrapped around the banister illuminated two figures sitting on the swing across the yard. He was about to make the trek toward them when one of the figures climbed off the swing and walked across the yard.

  Nari joined him up on the deck, her face showed no surprise at his presence. She had to have known what happened, but there was no judgment in her eyes. Of all their friends, Nari was the easiest to be around, other than Peyton.

  She looked to him in sympathy. “Are you cold?”

  “It doesn’t matter,” he responded, not taking his eyes off Peyton’s lone figure.

  “Of course it does.” She gave him a small smile. “Don’t move.”

  She disappeared down the steps and into the pool house, returning a moment later with his coat. He accepted it gratefully and sighed as the warmth enveloped him and his limbs stopped shaking.

  Nodding in thanks, he made a move to the steps. It was time to make up for what happened.

  Nari called him back. “Do you care about her, Cam? I mean really care? Not just confused teenage boy hormone stuff.”

  “Of course I do.” That had never been a question. Peyton was his best friend. He cared about her more than anyone else in the world.

  Nari sighed. “I believe you, but I don’t want her to get hurt. Peyton is the strongest person I know and right now, she’s sitting out there letting the cold freeze her tears.”

  “She’s crying?” He swallowed thickly. He’d never seen Peyton cry before.

  Nari ran a hand over her dark hair and narrowed her eyes. She’d always been the sweet one of the group but she also had what she liked to call “Korean Kill factor.” She could take you down with one look. “I don’t understand why the nice ones are always idiots.”

  He should have taken offense, but right then, he did feel like the idiot she claimed he was.

  Softening her Korean Kill look, Nari pushed out a puff of steaming air. “Do you have any idea what it feels like to be different, Cam? To not fit in? No, of course you don’t. You’re the best runner in the state. You have the looks of a B-list actor. Sorry, A-list is reserved for those with brains behind their vibrant eyes. You’ll never know what it’s like to be a slightly bigger girl among cheerleaders or the only Asian girl in an entire school.”

  Cam stayed silent. Not because he agreed, but because he knew exactly what she spoke of. Loneliness. All she had to do was spend one night in his house to realize he didn’t have it as together as she thought.

  “I’m going to have a long talk with Avery.” Nari’s eyes hardened. “They all called her fat, Cam. Fat! It’s like her worst fear come true.”

  Her worst fear was being called fat? That didn’t seem right. Peyton was the most confident person he knew.

  As if reading his mind, Nari went on. “She doesn’t give a fat rat’s ass what those jerks think of her. But, you, oh stupid one, didn’t stand up for her.”

  “I—”

  “I don’t care your reasoning, asswipe. I only care that you fix it. I know you don’t see her that way. You know you don’t. But she doesn’t.” She gestured to where Peyton still sat on the swing. “Why are you still talking to me? Go. Fix it.”

  Cam took the steps two at a time, landing in the deep snow. There was no turning back now. When they’d first arrived, he’d tried to push her right back into the friend zone, but if he was going to fix this, he had to show her just how beautiful he thought she was.

  He wanted her to see it too.

  Chapter 4

  “Peyton.” Cam didn’t care about the pathetic pleading tone of his voice. He’d crawl through the snow begging for forgiveness if he had to. He’d spend his entire Christmas making sure his best friend was still his best friend. Without her… He shook his head. No, he couldn’t be without her. Sometimes, he thought she was the only person in this world that cared about him.

  And he’d let her down.

  You, oh stupid one, didn’t stand up for her.

  Nari’s words rang in his mind. He had stood up for her, but the damage had already been done. He wished he could be like Peyton. That he could just shrug off what other people thought of him. But his entire life, all he’d wanted was approval. From his father. Coaches. Teammates. He’d wanted to not only be the best, but to be seen as the best. For people to think he had something to give.

  Peyton only cared what her friends and family thought. She just wanted them to see past what she thought was her biggest flaw.

  What she didn’t realize was Cam had never seen a flaw in her.

  She scrambled up the ladder they’d climbed so
often as kids. He jumped forward. “You shouldn’t be up there, Peyton.” His eyes scanned the old treehouse that looked like it should no longer be standing.

  Her muffled voice drifted down. “Go away, Cameron.”

  “Not until you talk to me.”

  She must have moved before the treehouse shook. “Peyton, get down right now.” He peered up through the hole at the top of the ladder but couldn’t see her in the dark.

  She didn’t respond.

  A blast of icy air struck him in the face, but he wasn’t going anywhere. Not without Peyton.

  “I’m okay, Cam. I’ll get over it. Just… go back to your friends.”

  She wasn’t as smart as he’d thought she was if she thought he’d leave her. His jaw clenched against the cold, he gripped the bottom of the ladder.

  “Don’t even think about it,” Peyton yelled. “This thing won’t be able to hold both of us.”

  It was barely able to hold one, but in that moment, he didn’t care. He only knew he needed to get to her, to look her in the eye, to… what? What was he going to do?

  Did it matter? At this point, he knew he had to do something. His best friend was hurting, and he’d do just about anything to take her pain away.

  Even if that meant climbing up a rotten ladder into a well-used treehouse meant for kids half their size. Yep… he was an idiot.

  He took the first few rungs slowly. A crack ripped through the air and suddenly his foot dangled free of a broken rung. Curses flew from his mouth as Peyton shrieked. Cam’s arm swung wildly, trying to grip the next rung without falling to the icy ground below.

  “Cam,” Peyton called, all anger gone from her voice. “Are you okay?”

  He managed to step onto the next rung and hugged his body close to the ladder. A sane person would have dropped to the ground instead of continuing to climb. But right then, sanity had fled Cam’s mind, replaced only by the image of Peyton’s face after Avery’s awful words.

  At the top of the ladder, a hand gripped the edges of his coat and help him haul himself the rest of the way into the swaying structure. He landed on his hands and knees hovering over Peyton who’d fallen back after dragging him in.