by Erin R Flynn
He murmured sweet nothings to me as I completely broke down sobbing by the end of that. I kept going, reaching another breaking point it seemed and hysterical the only way I knew how to let things out when I got there. I went on and on that I just wanted to make them happy, knowing I was lacking when they had hundreds, thousands of years of experience and partners.
Then just because I was already going, I confessed how scared I was to start the coven and how much I wanted one already so this anxious feeling would stop maybe. I hated how things had gone with Dennis and I didn’t know the right move. That I was scared I wanted to feed more and wondered what I’d become, that my power terrified me even. Charging things was cool, but destroying and reforming petrified me.
And I was conflicted about so much. We’d found a huge pharmacy of drugs for humans. Should we give them that? Would they handle it responsibly? Was it my responsibility to worry over that or to give it to them? What if I didn’t and someone died because they ran out of insulin or heart pills? All of this was on me and constantly, and I didn’t know what to do or who to trust.
It all stemmed from feeling like I was just slapped in the face after looking at rings for when we were together forever… Which clearly wasn’t smart given what had happened. It made me wonder if that noble from Nora’s coven was right and I was just a baby idiot vamp who let them do whatever they wanted and that was why they wanted me, basically the non mean version of Clarence.
“Feel better?” he asked when I was finally done.
“It just all comes out when I hit a point and I’m not even sure it really makes sense,” I admitted. “I never had the chance to let it out to anyone, so when I do, it’s just like emotional vomit all over the fucking place.”
“You’re not the only one who had that problem or reaction,” he assured me. “Though I really shouldn’t know a fraction of that, so I guess you’ll just have to keep me close and watch me.”
I snorted, my head hurting from all the crying. I realized sometime during my breakdown I must have dunked under the water because my hair was wet and so was all of him. I cleared my throat when he turned me in the perfect position for sex, wondering if I didn’t realize that was where this was heading instead of comfort.
“Darius said you were listening to my messages to help you with the ghosts,” he explained, reaching over to his clothes and grabbing a book I didn’t realize he had. “We still have a few hours before we have to meet up with everyone, and I thought I could read you my favorite book, tape my reading it for you so you can listen to that when you need it.”
It was so sweet I melted into him. I bit my finger and drew a triangle on him with my blood. He moaned, and I dunked back under to get warm again before straddling his lap and hugging him, wanting to touch as much of him as possible, even if his intimidating cock poked me. He moved us to sit on another ledge a bit deeper in the water.
“What’s your favorite book?”
“Pride and Prejudice. I regret not getting the chance to meet Jane Austen when she was alive because I adore her work.”
“I haven’t read it, but I loved Emma.”
He started reading, his deep, sexy voice getting me bothered but also soothing me with its rhythmic timber. I loved hearing it, but I was also totally into the story, as the way he read was engaging, not boring or too soothing. In other words, the damn man could use reading as his secret weapon.
As I hugged him, my fingers teased his shorter hair and neck. I gave his skin a kiss now and again, thanking him for this but also, I couldn’t help myself.
“I don’t think you should be in the water any longer,” he said after a while of reading. I couldn’t even think how many times I’d heard pages turning.
“Will you keep reading to me?” I asked, leaning back and smiling at him, knowing I was a bit drowsy and I had to wake up before the fighting tonight. “Could we ignore the crying and breakdown?”
He frowned. “Why? I was touched you let me comfort you.”
I felt my cheeks heat as he focused on my breasts before my eyes again. “You were really good at it, thanks.” I shrugged. “I was hoping we could count this as our first date, and first dates really shouldn’t start with nervous breakdowns, but this was so perfect and romantic.” I brushed my lips over his. “Will you do it again? Whisk me off for something romantic and read to me more?”
“Yes, and if you’re naked again, I really will and ask how soon we can do it again.” He smiled when I giggled, giving me a soft kiss this time. He tossed the paperback by his clothes and moved his hands over my back, cupping my ass. “Can I ask what date you planned to have with Kristof tomorrow?” I flinched, and he winced at my reaction. “Sorry, I’m dying to know.”
I stared at his chest instead of his alluring eyes. “To play at the Costco here. We talked about having a raiding date, but I thought it would be fun to play a bit, and if I found something fun before he caught me again, I won, and if he did, he got to take something off of me like strip tag.” I flinched when there was a deep groan from the trees about a hundred feet away, my eyes filling with tears as I looked at Branko.
“They love you and were of course worried,” he whispered as he kept me sitting there when I went to move. “I didn’t realize you couldn’t sense them. I’m sorry. You were so relaxed after crying I thought you realized they came running after you but you were just going to ignore them.”
“No, I can’t sense them that far away and not when my head’s all…” I moved my hands to my head and made exploding noises while flicking out my fingers. I glanced at the trees before Branko’s chest again. “I don’t want any of you here. Not in my room tonight either. Just leave me alone.”
“They won’t do that when they love you,” he said gently.
“Yeah, I feel so loved,” I rasped, the tears coming back. “Why did you ask about the date then?”
“To poke at him because he hurt you and I don’t like that,” he answered after a few beats. “You’re so different than any other princess that sometimes they forget you are the princess and how to behave with so many around and no soundproofing like covens have. As much as I love your cries of passion, I should not be able to hear you beg your nobles to please you. It gives others a message you don’t want.”
“I really hate being a princess,” I whispered, hating that every second was so complicated and full of this. “None of you would even like me if I wasn’t.” I shoved his arm away and stood, slipping of course and dunking into the water. I sputtered as I came up, embarrassed all over again. I shook my head when Branko asked if I was okay, instead redressing and not caring that my clothes were sopping now.
Whatever.
“Can you take me back please?” I rasped as he didn’t move after he got dressed as well.
“I don’t want our first date to end like this,” he breathed, sounding upset as well.
I nodded. That was fair. “We shouldn’t count it. No one should have a date this upset. Thanks for the comfort and time out.”
“If that’s what you want.”
I chuckled and wrung out my hair. “I’m princess, so yeah, whatever I want, right?”
He didn’t reply or push me, taking me back to the hotel instead and leaving me there alone so no one saw us together. Fine, I didn’t know what to say right then anyways.
“You okay?” Hope asked as I entered the lobby. She frowned as she looked me over. “Did you fall in water?”
“Hot springs dunk without towels,” I admitted. “I don’t know what I am besides mortified.”
“Well, let’s get you dried off, and you barely ate, so food too. Then James said you’re going hunting early as you probably need to shoot shit and blow things up.”
“Yes, that would be great. Thanks, Hope.”
She squeezed my hand as I walked by. “Men are stupid. Men in love are extra stupid. Whatever you’re feeling, it’s valid, but that’s the answer, not whatever self-doubt in your head that you’re lacking. You’re not.�
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“Thanks,” I rasped, tears coming back again. I ate while she dried my hair as the temperature was dropping fast and even if it was May, Canada still got cold at night, or at least that night it was supposed to fall below freezing. “You guys want to sleep over after? I do kitty piles with my engineers sometimes, and I’ve missed that. We haven’t in a while.”
“Sure, we’ll bring an extra mattress or something,” she said. “Alright, get dressed and let’s kill some baddies.”
I nodded as I stood, having thrown on a towel while I dried off. I went for fuzzy and comforting. I smiled when she laughed, my black straight leg lounge pants and hoodie matching having a subtle leopard print to them. Adding socks and sneakers, I was ready once I tucked my keycard in my bra.
“Nice,” James snorted as we met him in the lobby. He turned and led the way. “Okay, so last night, Kristof led the trap from Calgary west to Kamloops. Then right before dawn he added the trail up to our cut over point. So they were coming during twilight but not effectively. But close enough that it will be earlier tonight, which I think was part of the goal to test it out.”
“The blood trail isn’t on the highway but along it a hundred yards east, so we’re going to go see how it worked before night and pop off some grenades at packs we find hiding under trees or whatever,” Tyson told me, giving me his normal soft and warm smile.
“Sounds good.” And it did. I didn’t want to stop thinking again and just push forward.
At least as best as I could. Maybe?
We loaded up, and I got strapped in. Moments after we lifted off from the parking lot, I saw Kristof, Cerdic, Jaxon, and Darius coming out of the hotel. They seemed shocked, so they must not have been in on this part of the plan. I looked away, my heart hurting to see them right then.
“You know, everyone goes through what you are,” James told me, not talking into the radio so it was just us. “We all have a time where we wish life was different or we weren’t who we are. No one is so deluded to love themselves completely and always. If they are, that’s called being a narcissist. Being more than human is great, but you are more and it’s difficult at times too.”
“Thanks, that helps.”
“That’s what I’m here for, sexy bite,” he teased me.
We flew at top speed south to Kamloops, and then Tyson turned the chopper to head back and so that put me on the correct side. James slid in behind me and showed me the steps this time to load, charge, and turn the safety off the mounted grenade launcher. I nodded as I listened, but just as he wrapped up, my eyes went wide. There was already a huge pack of corrupted bumbling its way in the setting sunlight.
“Damn, your blood really does put them in a frenzy. Light them up, we’re green light and the only ones out here.”
I nodded and aimed, shooting two rounds into the first group, smirking when they went boom. There were more though, and when we were a quarter of the way back to Prince George, James radioed Trisha and said to get people moving because the corrupted were further north than we would have guessed.
The population of Calgary was almost double what Edmonton had been, plus what was along that highway and the surrounding areas. We were planning for a big night, so yeah, time to get into action for sure.
Tyson ended up circling back and we started again, catching more in the packs as we headed up to the point to cut over. I went through two boxes of grenades, which was good and bad because well, that was a lot done before we really even started… And sort of bad I could use that many when it was still light out. Damn.
It ended up being good hunting and a lot of corrupted put to rest that couldn’t hurt anyone else anymore. Normally that made me happy and filled me with hope, but right then I had nothing left to give. I was just glad when we were done for the night and got back to the hotel.
The second I arrived at my room with some of my knights, I stripped and crawled into bed.
“Snuggles only or we won’t share cuddle time,” Wilson warned them a moment before he slid in next to me. “Her spirit animals are cats. She gets it.” He kissed my hair and hugged me from behind. “I’ve missed cuddles.”
“Me too,” I promised. Tyson moved on the other side of me, and I didn’t so much lie in between them but mostly on them. I was half on Tyson and sort of on Wilson too. It sounded uncomfortable, but it wasn’t. I was snuggly and warm.
And with a broken heart.
“Sorry,” I rasped when I realized I was crying again and on Tyson this time.
“For what?” he murmured gently, kissing my forehead as he played with my hair. “Get out what you need to, and I heard nothing.”
“You know, just so we’re clear, we love you because you’re you, Inez,” Wilson said against my shoulder. “We follow you because you’re the princess, but it’s your heart we love, and that could have come in any form. They probably feel the same.”
I nodded, muttering a thanks, but I still couldn’t shut off the waterworks. I must have and fallen asleep sometime during the night because I woke with the sun instead of still being awake. I could barely open my eyes, and I felt like I could drink all the water in Canada I was so dehydrated.
Maybe in between cups of coffee to wake up.
“Clothes,” Vance reminded me as I crawled over everyone and not gracefully.
“You know, would it have been too much to get the coordination of a cat if they’re my spirit animal?” I grumbled… And of course flipped out of bed so I landed on the floor on my ass hard.
“Sorry, almost had you,” Vance muttered. “You really bounced there.”
“It’s a gift,” I groaned, taking a moment to just accept the pain of my new injury before pushing to my feet. One of the Victoria’s Secret bags was right there, and I grabbed the first jammies I saw. It was a white button up night shirt that had red and pink lips all over it. I managed the buttons and slipped my keycard in the breast pocket before reaching the door. “That was more difficult than it should be.”
“I say that about lots of things,” Maggie agreed with a yawn. “You okay?”
“My ass hurts,” I bitched. “And I’m dehydrated.”
“Yeah, you are,” she worried, and I realized she probably meant more than liquids or water, but blood. I swallowed a shiver, the idea of drinking blood from anyone right then making my stomach hurt because of what would come after.
Nope, not happening today.
“Um, so no buttons before coffee for you?” James teased me as we entered the dining hall.
I glanced down and realized I was one off, cursing under my breath. “Whatever, I found something to throw on and did.”
“Wait, why did you need to get dressed?” he asked, raising an eyebrow at me.
I shot him a confused look back. “Kitty pile. We always sleep naked and snuggly.” I smelled coffee and headed that way as I fixed my buttons.
“Okay, can I come to the sleep over then?” James said after me. “Sexy bite, are you wearing anything under that?”
“No, why?” I threw right back, Maggie snorting and shaking her head at me. “My butt hurts. I’m not putting anything on besides maybe ice.”
“Why does your butt hurt?” Trisha asked as she met us at the coffee.
“I’m uncoordinated and bounced so bad on the bed Vance couldn’t even catch me before I landed on the floor. My ass hurts.”
“And you’re pouting,” she chuckled, handing me the cream. “A birdy told me something you’ll like though, so we’ve got an outing this morning.”
“No, no more outings,” I grumbled, thinking of all the ones that had gotten me into trouble and the end result of yesterday. Who knew I would regret a fucking bookstore?
“It’s not the bookstore’s fault, and we can hear your muttering,” Trisha said gently.
“Need coffee and I’m butt hurt,” I grunted, amusing more than just her and Maggie with that one. I sat with my coffee and a bottle of water, making sure to cross my legs and put my weight on my left cheek since
it was my right hip that hurt.
“You need to eat,” Trisha said quietly.
“Not hungry.”
“Too bad. Stuff your face or we will. We’re going for a run.”
“Shouldn’t we run before food so I don’t get a cramp?” I threw right back.
“Fine, but then you eat.”
“Depends on how far the run and if I beat you up first,” I grumbled, smirking when she snorted.
“You need some endorphins to help your stress and to work through this, not just shoot corrupted.”
“Fine, but if it’s too far, you’re carrying my injured ass back for a nap.”
“Deal,” she accepted. “Grab her something to run in and she can change in the bathroom right here.”
“Pushy cat,” I grumbled. Still, I let her boss me around since I had no idea what to do or how to start and handle what was going on inside of me. I couldn’t even look at anyone, completely pretending no one but my knights were there. Trying not to roll my eyes when I saw what Maggie came back with, I grabbed it and downed the rest of my coffee.
I slid the tiny booty shorts on under the night shirt and then put on my socks and shoes. Then I pulled my arms in and got the sports bra on, girls able to do shit like that in their sleep and not needing a bathroom. I took off the nightshirt and slid my keycard in my bra.
“Okay, so we’re going like now,” Trisha chuckled, shaking her head. “Glad I dressed for it.”
“I didn’t,” Lara grumbled and hurried out of the dining hall with a yell she’d meet us at the door. Maggie and Hope were hot on her heels. Which left trays and plates of breakfast for the other knights arriving to take over.
“My life is so damn weird,” I snickered as I opened the water.
“We all feel that way, and I eat raw meat from my kills instead of drink blood like you.”
“Fair enough.”
It turned out the mall was about a kilometer away so not bad, but I hadn’t been keeping up with my cardio. It wasn’t a fast run though because they wanted me just to get moving. Trisha said as much when I admitted it.
She nodded. “We figured, but you need more than your tai chi. Morning runs five days a week. Not too far, and not distance runs, just get the blood going and clear the head. We can do it every morning this week and pick you out a new outfit and style for breakfast and a new day with less corrupted to hurt people alive or undead.”