by Erin R Flynn
“You should put that on a shirt,” Maggie drawled.
“It’s been so long since I’ve ran on two legs and not four,” Hope cut in before there was more snark or Trisha snipped back. “We weren’t getting the workouts we needed on the ship either. Running the deck just wasn’t worth it and a reminder of how much we’d lost.” She gave me a wink. “You gave us that back. If you weren’t princess, you couldn’t have. If I wasn’t a shifter, I couldn’t have become your knight.”
“Do you only love us because we’re shifters?” Maggie echoed.
“No, and I get what you’re doing—I even appreciate it—but I need more time to sort of… Digest. Before Darius I have no memories of caring about people. I barely talked to people on the run, just the blip here and there, and they tended to get eaten, so this is not my area of strength. I can handle a lot of twists, turns, and changings, but the moment it’s social or I guess emotional, I need a full stop and to settle with it.”
“Fair enough,” Trisha said as we slowed down as the doors came into sight. “And we didn’t mean to push. I just know it upset me to think you might worry I care for you because you’re a princess. I don’t. I care about you in spite of it.”
That was a good point, especially when so many didn’t have good opinions of princesses. It was something to think of later, but right then I didn’t want to think, I just wanted to be.
Apparently I was to be in crushed velvet shorts, thigh high stockings, and a long sleeve crop top sweater. I blinked at Trisha and asked the only question one could ask in that situation.
“Can shifters get high?”
She burst out laughing. “You look fierce and more than that, we found some different holsters that are badass.” She showed me the black garter holster that matched my stockings. “They’re for throwing knives.”
“Okay, that’s fucking cool,” I admitted, snagging it and sliding it on. “Do you have these throwing knives?”
“We got you some black ones at the hotel,” Maggie purred. “Wear your black shoulder holsters for your guns over that white sweater and you will kill it.”
I studied myself in the mirror. “Are you guys trying to make them jealous?”
“No, this is for you and helping you find your style, regain a bit of self-confidence even,” Trisha said firmly. “If they should kick themselves a bit more for upsetting you and the rift between you, all the better.”
“Throw in a basic makeup lesson and a sexy braid and I’m in.” It was hard not to laugh at all the satisfied smiles and looks.
We were heading out when Lara saw something and ducked into a store quickly, coming back out with a cropped hoodie that had “Flawless” written across the front of it. “And tomorrow you come for coffee in that and then we jog.”
“Pushy damn cats,” I teased.
Yeah, but apparently I might need the pushing or help at least.
15
And they were good help it seemed. An hour later I was walking back into the dining room with a lot more people and the conversations went dead. That wasn’t nerve wracking. I went for more coffee and a bottle of water, my long braid swinging as I moved. The shorts were seriously small and barely covered my ass and were ultra low rise… But the throwing knives won me over.
They were sexy for sure.
I wasn’t the only one gearing up though.
Lara had a handgun clipped on her belt by her lower back and throwing knives on her left forearm. Maggie had a shoulder harness like mine but four larger throwing knives on each side. Hope had some awesome leather rig that went over her left shoulder across her back to hold a large and scary knife, only to clip on the belt that matched. It also had a thigh holster and like a bag to hold extra clips.
But the best was Trisha. She had two matching fucking swords hanging from her hips like the sexiest, badass swashbuckling pirate.
Which of course I actually muttered under my breath and she laughed.
She winked at me. “I was a Naval officer, not a pirate. Swords are part of the deal.”
“And don’t ever, not ever let her talk you into fighting her,” Simon warned as he joined us at the buffet. “You will clean everything extra for weeks. I wasn’t even thinking sexist or—I really thought no one born this century could know swords like that.”
“I warned you I wasn’t born this century or the last one,” she drawled, but he just rolled his eyes at her like she knew what he meant. She leaned in and barely breathed what she said next. “And for the record, one dumped coffee on himself, the other dropped food, and another broke his plate stabbing too hard.”
“Thanks, but this is for me,” I said firmly, liking that better than trying to throw fuel on the fire. I felt like a baby already who almost cried in front of everyone and was probably blowing it all way out of proportion, but it wasn’t all I had on my plate.
“So what’s on the agenda for today, sexy bite?” Vance asked as we sat down near him, James, and the twins.
“I never got the seeds from yesterday,” I answered after a moment, shrugging as I cut into my cinnamon roll since it was about the only thing I could stomach at the moment. “I figured I’d get them and sort before the ghosts come today.”
“Um, can you handle when they do alone?” he muttered under his breath.
I shrugged again. “I have before. It’s fine.” I tried to keep my tone light but firm as I really, really didn’t want to talk about that and certainly not with so many in the dining room. “What are you guys up to?”
“Kristof led in a few trails of your blood to a blown up part of LA, and I’m prepping to take one of the fighter jets for that,” James answered. “So you get the night off. Tyson and a few others are doing recon flights to check out some other areas to lead them to and get a lot of corrupted at one time. That and seeing what we can find now that we can recover stuff.”
“The vamps are culling wolves and handling that,” Trisha added. “The hotel’s cleaned from top to bottom and repairs made. I guess the tracks are being checked for the trains and more of those logistics. We were just going to fill in wherever.”
“Can we help you sort seeds and hang with you during ghost time?” Wolfe asked, gesturing to Wilson and Vance.
I realized they had a piece missing, and I clued them in on the room we’d found and how it kept the numbers limited.
“That’s awesome, really, but we’d still like to hang with you just in case. You’d want to if it was us that could get overwhelmed, right?” Vance’s tone was careful, but I nodded, it was stupid to do it alone.
My mood didn’t improve even after three large cinnamon rolls. I headed to my room with Vance and the twins to get the seeds and head over with whatever vehicle was in the parking lot we could use… Because apparently none of the nobles who said they cared for me were going to try to talk to me or apologize. They hadn’t tried to talk to me or so much as leave a note.
Were they upset I’d blown such a fuse? Did they think I was overreacting? Did they not care to fix this? I wasn’t wrong in getting upset, right? Just maybe I got a bit too upset? I really didn’t know, but it hurt me even worse that they didn’t try to apologize.
Wasn’t I worth that if they hurt me?
I didn’t say anything as the leopards tried to get me to talk. I just nodded or shrugged. I wasn’t in the mood, and I knew it was rude, but I really wanted to be alone, and I appreciated they cared… But I didn’t want to deal with people right then. Finally they stopped trying and it was a bit tense, but then we fell into a comfortable silence as we worked.
It was still so weird to me that I had to be the one that picked up the seeds, but once I did, it was fine if the leopards helped me sort them as long as they didn’t touch that first seed. Sometimes there just wasn’t much logic to these powers or the quest thing.
Right, the quest. I sighed heavily, thinking about it and how I was supposed to go with Cerdic and Kristoff that morning and get more items. My planned date with Kristof after.
>
“It’s okay, Inez,” Wolfe whispered. “You guys will work it out.”
I didn’t realize I was crying until then. “Sorry.”
“We’re here for you no matter how you need us even if it involves tears and crying girls scare me,” Wilson promised. “If you need to pull my tail or kick me in the balls because I’m a guy, I’m good with that too.”
“Really?”
He snorted. “Fuck no, that shit hurts.”
“Well, I guess we can’t be friends because I require that of them,” I purred, throwing back his words about how I had to have cool pools and a waterslide at my castle… That Darius was designing. Wow, that backfired. He seemed to realize that because he just gave me a wink.
We didn’t finish before the ghosts came, as there had been a lot of fucking seeds already. They popped in faster and faster, the twins moving to the hall so they were out of the way but Vance stayed with me. I moved to my corner, annoyed with myself that I’d forgotten my iPod. I got to work and realized Vance was yelling for something but not at me.
Then he came and sat with me, moving me to his lap and hugging me. I felt his chest vibrating like he was talking, but no, it was singing. I could tell when I glanced at his lips. My heart warmed and I hugged his arms. He was singing to me to try and help. I couldn’t hear him at all, but I appreciated it.
And wondered if he had a good voice.
Wilson ducked in a bit later and tossed something over. I smiled when I saw it was my iPod, understanding Vance had sent him for it. I put it on and did my best to focus and dissipate the ghosts as they appeared, but there were just too many and I knew they were filling the building.
I gave a butt wiggle when I couldn’t feel them. However, I felt Vance groan since I did it on his lap.
“My bad, just excited the plan’s working.”
When I started itching, Vance got me out of there and I turned vehicles into energy beads. Luckily there was a whole parking garage by the hospital right there and we didn’t have to go racing all around. It made me wonder if we could figure out like a trailer with the same whatever as that room so it made things more efficient.
I realized the moment I was done and hurrying to let out that last rush of energy that there weren’t anymore vehicles. I let out a growl at my bad planning and focused on the parking garage, thinking I could at least take down some of it.
Oh, sometimes I was stupid. I turned the whole fucking thing into energy beads.
Whoops.
I ignored the worried looks and went back to retrieve my seeds, tired and craving something I didn’t want to. Just thinking of feeding made my eyes itch. Whatever. I was fine. I could handle my own shit.
Right, maybe if I kept telling myself that I’d believe that lie. It also made me come to the scary realization that I needed my nobles, like I could die without them? That was… Fuck, it made me think of Clarence and how blood would just make princesses obedient or give nobles whatever they wanted. Was that what I’d done?
Here I was so worried about trapping them with their vows, but maybe they’d trapped me? I could never have fed and kept on the path I’d been, right? But now I had to feed and needed blood. I didn’t want that. I didn’t want to be so reliant and able to be controlled. They could totally fucking control me because now we were trying for more ghosts.
Had that been the plan with tying the leopards to me? I’d always have ghosts with so many knights? I mean, we’d forced them, or they had, Darius and Jaxon had. I had trusted them, and maybe that had been the first mistake. Right? It made sense, right?
“Inez, you’re spiraling,” Vance worried, hugging me to him in the back seat. “I can’t even make out half of what you’re saying, but you’re spiraling, okay? I think you got fried out.”
I slowly nodded, feeling that way too. When had we gotten in the car? I’d missed that and getting all the seeds? “I think I need a nap. You guys go do your thing, and I’m just going to sleep.” Then I changed the plan again and made them stop at the mall, remembering the GNC there. I grabbed a few bottles of iron supplements and hugged them tightly to me. Right, I’d done this before. I could handle this.
“You need to eat. That should help,” Vance said as I got back in, knowing what I’d been up to.
I bobbed my head. “Any chance you’ll deliver?”
“Yes, as long as you eat it, we’ll bring it and let you hang in your room,” Wolf agreed. “And we won’t even bring tons, just—you can’t not eat anymore, Inez. It’s really dangerous for us since we need so many more calories. We can seriously be hurt and starve way faster than humans.”
“I get it. I’ll try to eat one plate and rehydrate, but more than that wouldn’t be smart when my stomach is like all rocks.”
They took the compromise, and while it was a big plate, it was only one plate. They tried fussing over me some more, but after I ate and had a bottle of water, all I wanted was bed. I promised I was fine and they had stuff to do.
I was fine alone. I liked it better even. I think they realized I was on the edge of spiraling again because they backed off and let me be at least for right then.
But I wasn’t fine, and it got worse.
The next few days we got into a routine of a quick jog to the mall to pick out something before breakfast. I’d shower and change and try out a new style or variance of what I already liked.
After the crushed velvet shorts were deep green and black plaid ones with a matching deep green crop top that was the same color as my eyes. Those I tried with tights so I had a forearm sheath with a large knife. It worked and I liked it, but I found myself still forcing myself to eat.
Because no one tried to come talk to me. I spent the rest of the day handling stuff alone or with the leopards trying not to hover but away from eyes. I couldn’t force myself to go back to the dining hall with all the eyes if they wouldn’t try and fix this.
But the next morning Trisha, Lara, Maggie, and especially Hope would talk me into doing it all over again, excited James or whoever took out a bunch of corrupted that were lured to LA. So we went for the run.
And the ensuing outfit with sexy jean shorts and other harnesses with weapons.
And my nobles didn’t come talk to me, so I gave up.
But then my knights would talk me into it again. So another jog and this time low rise cargo pants that I liked.
By the end of the week I just gave up and they couldn’t get me out of bed. I didn’t want to keep trying. I was done, and I felt as if a deep hole was going to swallow me up.
And I’d let it.
16
Darius
Watching the woman I loved wither before my eyes was too painful for words. The only thing I think was worse was traveling to my home coven to find it gone, all my family lost forever, and only ruins, death, and destruction left where there had been so much life. It felt like that all over again.
At first she tried putting on a brave face, pushing past what we’d done, but not only was her upset getting worse, she was… Withering. She wasn’t eating as much as she should. Definitely not hydrating, as it was clear she was crying at night even if I didn’t punish myself and sit outside near her room so I heard it. She needed to feed, and it was glaringly obvious.
When she didn’t even come to breakfast, I cracked, unable to take anymore.
“Keeping us from her isn’t helping,” I seethed, about to smash the heads of her knights. “I get it. You wanted to give her time and thought we would make things worse, but she needs to feed.”
“She said the idea of drinking your blood and what comes after makes her ill,” James snapped.
“Yeah, but I think they’re right,” Trisha muttered. “We can’t get her out of bed, James. She’s so lethargic I-I think she’s dying. She smells like her body’s distressed.”
“We should have pushed to apologize sooner,” Cerdic growled. “You told us to give her space to say she was ready to talk to us, but did she tell you that or she only told us
to piss off that first night?”
Hope’s eyes filled with something soul crushing. “Fuck, that’s what she’s been muttering about her blow up was too much. She thinks they’re done with her because they haven’t come back.” She rubbed her chest. “And we’ve been keeping them from her.”
I was done. I raced off to her room and pushed past Vance and Callum to get in. I grabbed my princess and darted back out of there so no one saw the state she was in… Because it was bad. I brought us somewhere quiet, to that place I’d made love to her at near the river.
“Control me, control me with the blood,” she muttered under her breath at a level I could barely even hear. “Trapped, trapped, always trapped. Mouse in a maze, no way out.”
“Inez, you have to feed, please feed,” I choked out.
She shook her head, tears leaking out of her eyes as she focused on me. “No, they don’t love me. Just a trap.”
“I love you so much I’m dying with you,” I sobbed. “Please, this has all spiraled out of control.” I sliced my hand and moved it to her naked thigh, panicked when I felt how her skin instantly soaked the blood up.
“No, want to go in the hole,” she cried, trying to push me away.
“No, I won’t let you die.” I grabbed the folding hunting knife from my back pocket I had from helping skin the wolves we’d culled, and opened it up, slicing along my neck deep enough I hissed. “Drink, my love. Drink all of me, but don’t you dare die on me.”
Her fangs came out, and she lost the war inside herself, latching onto my neck with as much energy as she had and greedily drinking me. The moment it healed and she seemed unable to have more at the moment, she started muttering about fire and being controlled… As she yanked off her pajamas. She rolled off me and mewled as she touched herself, the fire too much for her.