by Emily Wilson
“Thank you. Now shut up about it and kiss me.”
The request startles him for a moment, but when he really thinks about it, it makes more sense than anything else they've been through lately. Kato is real, and solid, and alive... and maybe they just need a reminder of that. “Okay, Jellycrai. I think I can do that.”
KATO KNOWS THE TALK with Azrian last night isn’t over. He wishes it were, but there is still a lot more work to come unless they pack up and run home now and Kato is prepared to see this through. As he puts on his boots, all he can think about are the things they said to each other in the heat of the moment. Walking away from the pyre was the one thing he thought he was doing right for his mental state and to hear that he hurt Azrian in the process crushed him. If he was such a hero, why did he feel like this? Weak and hollow. Like a coward that abandoned his boyfriend in a time of need. If Kato’s a hero, he sure isn’t a good one.
He stares down at Azrian as he sleeps, wishing he could give him what he needs. Az just wants to go home, Ronan just wants to go home, and yet they’re here because of Kato. He forced them to abandon their peaceful life and travel across the sea to witness nothing but violence. “I’m sorry.”
After a kiss to Az’s head, Kato slips from the room. Once again, he wishes he could disappear — his thoughts remind him how much better all of their lives would be if he did just that. He walks in a daze and before he knows it, he reaches the room where the prisoners are being held. Riley and Aleon are already there along with another Itinerae he’s never met, and Ri’s face falls when she hears his loud, depressing thoughts. Kato shakes his head before she can speak, not in the mood to be convinced otherwise — he doesn’t believe he deserves to feel better right now.
“Ready?” Aleon asks, his voice more solemn than normal. Even he feels the weight of what they’re about to do, and he’s hated Syphon for years.
“Are you sure you don’t want me to take him?” Riley offers, and Kato instantly declines.
“I have to do this.”
“No. You don’t,” she retorts. “Stop beating yourself up, Kato. You did everything you could... for everyone.”
“Don’t... just—” Kato squeezes past them both and enters the room, unable to argue with her just like he was unable to argue with Az last night. He’s just too damned tired.
“What’s the matter, baby bro?” Syph slurs, waking from the slumber Kato placed him under. Kato wants him awake for this.
“Shut up.” Kato lifts him by his arm just as Aleon grips his other and within seconds, they’re standing on the same rock Kato was teleported to months ago... the day he killed the only father figure he’s ever known.
There are already a few Praediti there sent by the Venandi and they escort them to the cells. Kato doesn't know why, but without thinking, he takes Syphon to the very cell he met Azrian in a year ago and the sight of it makes him angrier than he expected it to.
“I’ll be back, Kato. Have a few more jumps to make. You sure you’re good here?” Aleon asks.
Now that he’s been walking for a few moments and his stolen Sana abilities have helped clear his head, Syph looks wide awake as he stares back at his younger brothers.
“Yes. I need to talk to him.” He ignores the sound Syphon makes at that and stands near the door as one brother takes his leave and the other takes in his surroundings. “Welcome home, Syph. Where is Tripp?”
“Oh, I wouldn't pretend to know a thing like that,” Syphon says lightly. “He didn't exactly give me a play-by-play of his escape plan. Where’s Azrian?”
“Azrian is fine.” Kato knows that wasn’t an answer to his question, but he moves on quickly. “Why didn’t Tripp take you with him? How does it feel that your favorite brother left you behind?”
He scoffs and sits back, making himself at home in that cell. “Bold of you to assume I've got a favorite brother. My favorite of all of our siblings is dead.”
Kato frowns at him because he’s pretty sure Syph was the cause of it. “Then why’d you kill her?”
“Because she got in my way,” he growls, but the lie is evident. “What do you care, anyway? You got everything you wanted here.”
“You know nothing of my wants. You never faeching asked, Syphon. You know nothing about me.” It actually stings, because all he ever wanted was to know his siblings, and only two of them cared at all.
Syphon refuses to look at him. “And you know nothing about me. Does that make us even?”
“Because you didn’t let me! I asked. I tried. But you keep everyone at arm’s length because it hurts less when you inevitably kill them, right?”
There's no hiding the genuine look of surprise on Syphon’s face despite the way he instantly shuts down again. “Yeah, something like that.”
There’s something here that Kato can’t put a finger on, and it drives him crazy. It shoves him over the edge and tears fall before he can catch them. “I hate you. You’re worse than Melior... at least — at least he was heartless. You aren’t... I’ve seen it and you still choose this. I hate you!!”
“And what? You want me to tell you that's okay? That it's not okay?” Syphon stands and walks closer to Kato but doesn't make a move to touch him. “Hate me. Do what you have to do in order to sleep at night, just promise me that you’ll show Zeto’s body the respect it deserves and let Tripp and Six go.”
“Zeto?” Kato steps closer and meets his eyes. “Was that the name he chose?”
“Yes. We called him Zero because he had this tendency to be an insufferable little stult and never wanted to do anything on his own, but he had a name.”
The fact that he called Zeto the wrong name at his funeral makes him angry all over again. “I should have known that.” Syphon jerks like he's going to attack Kato, but either thinks better of it or simply realizes he can't. “You can’t use your powers in here... neither can I. That’s the point,” Kato reminds him.
“You shunned him and yet you judge me? Do you think he didn't tell me about how you invited our other brothers places and left him behind? That you ran him out of your house because your boyfriend couldn't handle him?”
That isn’t how Kato remembers it, but that doesn’t help the shame or the guilt. “I never meant to hurt him, but don’t pretend like you don’t know how he was. He was disrespectful to Azrian, that was why I told him to leave.”
“Mm. All I'm saying is that you don't have the right to look at me like that about Zeto.” He steps a little closer until they're face to face. “I lost more than you did out there.”
“What does that mean?” Kato asks, exhausted with all of his cryptic responses. “How am I supposed to understand if you don’t tell me?”
Syphon scoffs, but this time, the look in his eyes isn't hatred. It's something more like disbelief and fear. “Listen, Kato. You wouldn't believe me if I told you, and it doesn't matter anyway now. It's not like a single thing I say is going to justify the absolute shitshow that turned into.”
“Turned into? Wasn’t that what you wanted... war?” Even as he asks, his tone is unsure. There’s something about Syphon’s demeanor that isn’t right, and Kato once again wishes he could just read his mind. They should have had this conversation back at the mountain.
“What kind of faeching idiot seeks war?” Syphon turns and takes a seat again on the same cold mattress Azrian used to hate. “I had a job to do and I failed, and now people that shouldn’t have died are dead. Why didn't you just stand down, Kato? I wasn’t there for you.”
“I was trying to make peace, to make the world a better place... I had to be willing to fight for that.” Kato follows but doesn’t sit. “What was the job, Syph? Who did you fail?”
If Kato didn't know better, he'd think Syphon was about to start crying. “Myself. I failed myself. Can we be done now?”
Kato doesn’t want to be done; he wants to know everything Syph knows, but he can see that his brother is done for today. He walks toward the cell door, pausing to say one more thing before
taking his leave: “It’s never too late to change.”
17 The Oath
When Kato finally arrives back at the Tizor Mountains, he’s completely drained. Between Syph and helping Aleon get people settled, he wants nothing more than to take a nap — but when he thinks of the nightmares that plague his dreams, he finds the strength to keep moving.
Riley tries to talk to him again, but as soon as she notices that Aleon needs her more, her attention shifts without hesitation. Kato smiles at the fact that Aleon finally got the woman of his dreams. He definitely deserves it.
He starts making his way toward the doors for some fresh air and a little time with Nut, but he finds his path blocked by Hanigen. “What’s happened now?”
“Haven't you heard? The sky is falling and we need all the tall ones like you to hold it up for us,” Hanigen deadpans.
“Sky holding wasn’t in the job description,” Kato retorts with a small smirk. “What... didn’t you see that I’d learn sarcasm eventually?”
Hanigen rolls his eyes and tugs at one of his earlobes. “No, but I can hear it. We have another meeting now, and your presence was requested specifically.”
“Why?” Kato sighs and glances at the exit longingly, then follows Han toward the chamber. “Is Azrian already there?”
“Not exactly.” Hanigen stops with fingers closed around the curved door handle and hesitantly meets Kato’s eyes. “This doesn't technically concern him, it concerns you... and Aleon, too.”
“If it concerns me, it concerns him.” Kato pauses for a moment before he decides to enter. Teagon and Aleon are both present, which already makes Kato feel off — as if Azrian is being excluded on purpose. The low lull of chatter fills the room but before sitting, Kato clears his throat to quiet them and stands behind his chair. “What is this about?”
Peilar gestures to all the empty chairs surrounding them. “As you may have noticed, we’re a little short-staffed. The losses of Zinna, Alstro, Linaria, Exus and Guara have all left their various marks upon this hall, but the rest of us have made a few... decisions.”
Kato takes a seat then and contemplates the Regnum’s losses. He’s been so busy since the battle he hasn’t even had a moment to think about the number of lives lost, and he adds those lives to the baggage on his shoulders. “I’m very sorry for your loss. How can I help you?”
“Actually—” Peilar turns to Teagon “—this only concerns Aleon. Would you give us a few moments?”
Teag shrugs and goes to stand. “Alright. Let’s go, Hanigen.”
“Excuse me?” Hanigen asks.
“He’s technically not in the Regnum, either,” Teagon explains. “If I gotta go, he gotta go.”
“Hanigen has been with us for decades. He’s saved us, sacrificed for us,” Torenia argues.
Teagon plops his prosthetic leg onto the table. “Let’s go back to that sacrifice bit for a sec.”
“There isn’t time for this. Stay, go, just hold your tongue. Now, we called you here because you have the skills we need to fill two of our roles. Kato, we’re asking you to take Guara’s place.”
Kato’s still biting back a laugh at Teagon when everyone turns to him, so it takes him a moment to catch up. “Sorry, what?” It clicks then, and his look of amusement is replaced with shock. “Me? Aren’t I too young?”
“Are you calling us old?” Hanigen asks with a grin.
“Of course not... but... okay yeah, kind of.”
Scaevol crosses his arms. “I told you this was a bad idea, Peilar. He's barely older than my son, he can't lead us.”
“He won't be leading us,” Peilar corrects. “That particular duty of Guara’s will fall to me. We just need a Cogitare. And a Sana, too, and Kato here happens to be the only person on the planet equipped to handle both responsibilities.”
Kato meets the Undare’s gaze. “Your son would be a great leader, Scaevol. Regardless of his age. Peilar—” he turns to him, “—I appreciate the offer, but... I don’t like using my powers against people unless I have to. Can you all guarantee that would never be asked of me?”
“No,” he responds honestly. “I’d like to say yes, but we don't deal in absolutes. I can't guarantee anything about this position other than the fact that you'd be a great fit and we really need your help.”
Kato considers denying it right then. He doesn’t want to start something he’d inevitably walk away from, but if he’s asked to do something he isn’t morally okay with, he won’t. He’d leave, and no one could stop him. On the other hand, the amount of good he could do in the world would be ten times what he could do with the praelex in Embermeadow. And even if he’s only here for a year, he can finally change the world. “I need some time to consider it and speak with Azrian. I will let you know soon.”
“Thank you.” Peilar looks like he wants to push him further but turns to Aleon. “Exus is in the wind. No one has seen or heard from him since he betrayed us on the battlefield, which leaves us in the position of also needing a reliable Itinerae. You come highly recommended.”
“How much does it pay?” Teagon asks before Aleon can say a word.
“Pay?”
“Pay,” Teagon says with a serious nod. “How many coins? Will he get vacation days? Free Sana services when he tries to make love to Riley on the back of a dragon and somehow gets himself hurt? Pay.”
Kato nearly cackles at his brother’s response, but he manages to keep a straight face... mostly. He doesn’t want to further prove he’s too young or that he can’t hold a serious conversation. “He already gets free Sana services.”
Peilar clears his throat and looks toward the other members. “We offer a home, Sana services, free food, days off when requested. As for coins... we make do.” He scribbles something on a paper and slides it over to Aleon, but Teagon is there to snatch it.
“He’ll take the job,” he says after one glance at the number. “When can he start? Do you backpay for the time he's already been here? What about bonuses for dangerous situations?”
“Teagon, I need to think—”
“I just did your thinking, bro. You took the job, congratulations.”
Aleon snatches the paper and widens his eyes. “No wonder Riley tried to pay for dinner. Yeah, what he said.”
“No backpay. We have more important things to discuss, but welcome to the Regnum. You will swear to Cettia at sundown. Hopefully, Kato will be there to join you.”
Kato had no clue there was a swearing ceremony, but the realization that two of them went back on their oath has him looking at the rest of them, wondering who he could truly trust. “What else is there to discuss?”
Suddenly, Peilar looks exhausted. “We’ll need to find a Tactare, a Caelim and a full-time Sana soon, but we can discuss that later once we actually have some potential candidates. For now, we need to decide what we’re going to do about the members of the Venandi that escaped when Riley and Cindreg made their threat.”
Kato taps his fingers on the table and then stands. “I’m getting Azrian. He should be here for this and every single one of you knows that.” He walks out without another word and jogs to their room to get Az. “Azzy, I need you to come with me.”
“Why?” He looks up from the book he'd been reading and gets up the second he sees Kato’s face. “What happened?”
“Everything is fine.” Kato takes his hand and tugs him along. He considers carrying him, but they make it back there soon enough and he’s pleased to see they actually waited for them.
“Okay.” Kato sits and motions for Az to join them before picking up where they left off. “Is it possible to also get more people to help search? Finding Regnum members we can trust will take time, but we need to get more Praediti on the hunt. They’re hiding out somewhere, so if we can get even one of them, I could question them.”
Azrian looks lost as he glances around the table, but he fills the empty silence that follows Kato’s request. “He's right. There aren't enough people here to do much of anything. We nee
d help.”
“There's always the Renegal,” Torenia offers. “We have a team that occasionally do freelance work for us. Jasestros, Tague, Riley... they're a part of that, but there are others.”
Kato nods. “Then send an avisim. We need all the help we can get.”
“I thought we said he wouldn’t be our leader?” Scaevol mutters, making Azrian look even more confused.
“I’m not trying to lead; I’m trying to state the obvious. We need help. All of us.”
Peilar holds up a hand to stop the arguments that follow. “He's right, Scaevol. I'll send the avisim the moment we finish here. In the meantime, Aleon... will you go search for Exus and Tripp, specifically? Surely you Itinerae have certain places you like to hang out.”
“That's not really how it works,” Aleon says slowly. “And even if it did work like that, I doubt they’d hide in plain sight. But I'll do my best.”
Kato sits back and once again considers the offer. Eventually, Scaevol and the others will respect Kato, but he understands he has to earn that. “And if we find them? They’ll be taken to the prison, right?”
“Yes, unless we run out of cells. Only having one Atarax is going to prove to be a problem in the long run,” Peilar says.
“I can work with Tague to see if we can come up with something else,” Hanigen offers. “He seems to be interested in magic.”
“And we can trust him, that’s hard to come by these days. Is there anything else? There are things I need to discuss with Azrian.”
Peilar runs a hand through his hair and shakes his head with a sigh. “I think that's it for tonight. You'll consider our offer?”
“Yes.” He glances at Azrian and stands, jerking his head toward the door.
They walk in silence, Az seemingly understanding that they need to talk in private, but unfortunately Ronan is laying on the bed when they enter. “Hey, Rone... I need to talk to Az about something really fast, but afterward I’d like to speak with you, too. Will you stay close?”