by Emily Wilson
“Yeah, course. I’ll probably be in the cafe. Kind of hungry. Hope everything’s okay.”
Kato forces a smile as Ronan walks to the door. “Yeah, everything is okay... unless Az kills me.”
THE MOMENT THE DOOR closes, Azrian crosses his arms and braces himself for the worst. “We’ve already established I can't even kick your ass, and now you're worried I'm going to kill you?”
“You might consider that cloth of stones. Will you sit?” Kato walks to the bed but Az doesn’t budge. “Fine... I see taking you to bed won’t help this, so I’ll get right to it.” He bites his nails, which is something Kato rarely ever does. “They offered me a j— it’s hot in here, want to go outside instead?”
Az blinks. “Sure. It'll be easier to kill you outside. Plenty of stones, and if that fails, I’m sure I could find some Mors Byssum somewhere.”
Kato narrows his gaze and walks closer. “I’m bigger than you, remember.”
The shiver that runs down Azrian’s spine is delicious, but he’s still focused on the terrible news Kato is about to drop on him. “Yes, I remember. You needed two hands before you found me.”
“I don’t need them anymore.” Kato wraps his arms around Az’s lower back and leans in by his ear. “You take all of me just fine.”
This is not even remotely close to fair. Az splays his fingers out across Kato’s broad chest and pushes halfheartedly. “No, no. You don't get to use sex to distract me this time. Distract me after. Tell me what they want from you.”
Kato trails kisses down his jaw and backs him against the door. “Okay...” he keeps kissing, distracting Azrian more with each one until he finally drops the bomb. “They offered me a job.”
“I said after, Kato, after,” he gasps, but his thoughts are getting fuzzy and finding it extremely hard to go down one, singular track. He tips his head back in conflicted frustration and it smacks against the door, causing him to cuss and break himself out of that haze. “Stone it. What kind of job?”
“The Regnum’s Cogitare.” He lifts Az by his thighs then, still pressing him firmly against the door. “A seat at their table.”
“I'd like to have a seat at my own table right now, Jellycrai,” he mumbles, but he's not surprised in the slightest when Kato instantly catches the lie. He wraps his legs tighter around him to keep himself steady and tries to stay focused. “And you said no, right?”
“No.” Kato pivots toward the bed, not stopping until he’s collapsing on top of him. “I told them maybe.”
Az squirms but doesn't make it very far before he's going limp against the mattress. “Why? We got Syphon. We did what we said we were gonna do.”
“There’s so much more to do, Azzy.” Kato finally pulls back to clear the fog he created. “How do you truly feel about it?”
Instead of immediately answering, Azrian fixes his hair and frowns at the pattern on the floor. He knows how important this is to Kato and doesn't want him to feel unheard, but Azrian doesn't want to be unheard, either. “Can we have an actual conversation about this? Complete honesty, no hard feelings... just let it all out?”
“Yes.” Kato sits and scoots back against the wall, patting the seat next to him. “I need to hear it all, please be honest.”
With Kato having his powers back, Azrian doesn't really have the luxury of lying — but for once, he considers that to be a blessing. He settles next to him and stays silent as he tries to gather his thoughts. “I thought the whole point of you joining the praelex back home was to make a difference. Don't get me wrong, Jellycrai... I think you'd make an amazing addition to the Regnum. I can't think of a single person I'd rather have as the Regnum’s Cogitare than you. You're amazing. But... why does it have to be you?”
“I don’t know. Why does any of this have to be us? I think we can ask that of everything we’ve gone through in the last year, but we’re still going. One step at a time we keep going, and with each and every step we make the world better. That’s the only reason I’d ever consider this. I have a chance to help people... what does it make me if I say no?” There's no anger in his voice, only exhaustion from the constant weight pulling him down — exhaustion that he refuses to let crush him.
Azrian has to admire him for it. “Okay, but... Ronan has school. We made a decision to make his world better. We took him in, Kato. How do you think he's gonna feel when we tell him he can't see Miya anymore? We can't do that to him.” He holds up a hand to stop Kato’s immediate response. “I think you need to do this. The world needs you, and I think in a lot of ways, you need this, too. But one of us still needs to be there for Ronan.”
“What if we both could?” Kato’s entire face lights up with an idea. “Aleon took the job as Itinerae. He can jump me here every day and I can come home every single night... come home to you.”
It sounds too good to be true, and in Azrian’s experience, that means it is. “I want to believe you. I want to believe that this is going to work out exactly the way you want it to, and that you'll be home every night... but I don't. Just watching them in there today, they're a mess. It's going to be a lot more time consuming than you think it is — especially because you refuse to back down. And it's one of the things I love the most about you, but Kato... I know you. You'll let this consume you before you allow yourself to take a break. I need you to promise me that won't happen.”
He agrees without issue, but that’s exactly what Azrian expected him to do. Kato believes he can handle it all. “I promise... and if you tell me to take a day off, I will. I won’t fight you. Will that help?”
“Yes,” he answers honestly. “I believe in you with all of me, Jellycrai. And I'm so proud of everything you're trying to accomplish. But while you worry about the rest of the world... I'm going to worry about you. So please don't get frustrated with me when I tell you twice a week that you need a day off. Maybe even three times.”
The smile on his face tells Az he doesn't object, but the way he leans in to bite Azrian’s jaw says something else entirely. “You going to be bossy about it?”
As laughable as that thought is, Azrian nods and shoves him playfully. “Yes, I am. And for once... you're going to listen, or I'm going to stop taking orders from you.”
It's the emptiest threat he's ever spoken, and Kato sees right through him. In less than two seconds Az is falling flat on his back and Kato is looming over him. “What was that?”
“Something I instantly regret,” he rushes out quickly, but he knows this conversation isn't over quite yet. At least one part of Kato disagrees entirely, so Azrian does the only thing he can think of to keep them on track. “Teagon and Aleon!”
It works, because Kato freezes and meets Azrian’s eyes. “Why?” He rolls off and lands on his back with a heavy sigh as he pushes down the very visible bulge in his pants. “What about them?”
“Um.” Az clears his throat and props himself up on his elbow, trying very hard to remember why on Athoze he decided to mention Kato’s brothers instead of letting that run its course. “Oh, right. I was thinking... since you're both going to be part of the Regnum, why don't we ask them to move to Embermeadow with us?”
Kato sits up quickly and reaches out to touch his forehead. “Are you feeling okay? Who are you and what have you done with my Az?”
The blush that spreads across his cheeks nearly overshadows the smile. “I like them. Both of them. And they're your brothers. Don't you think it would be nice to have them close? Especially if Aleon is going to have to come get you every day?”
“Yes. I would love it. But last time we sent them away... maybe this time we can make sure we take some time just for us every week?”
Azrian picks at his fingernails as the shame from that particular encounter creeps back in. “Yeah. I mean, we wanted to build a second house anyway. Maybe it could work?”
The happiness Kato feels oozes its way into Az and then he hugs him, melting into him with a deep breath. “I don’t know how you put up with me, but I love you.”
/> “I love you too, ya brute,” Az says fondly. “And yes... I promise I'm done talking now, especially about your siblings.”
“I don’t trust you. He went to sleep.” Kato nuzzles back in his neck and mumbles something else Azrian can’t understand, but Azrian just sighs.
“Fine. I guess I deserve that.”
AS KATO WALKS TOWARD the evening meeting, he can’t fight the smile on his face. Pushing away the thoughts of their midday fun would have been harder if Ronan hadn’t interrupted, but now that Kato’s gotten Az and Rone’s blessings about the job, he feels confident as he enters the room with his hand in Azrian’s. “I accept,” he announces, only to be ushered to sit instantly.
“We got word back from the avisim and no one has seen even a glimpse of your brothers. Are you sure you have no idea where they would be?”
“If I did, I would tell you. I want to talk to them just as much as you guys.”
Teagon raises his hand, but Aleon quickly grabs it and shoves it back down. “Shut up, Teag.”
He does it again anyway. “We've seen them, and Kato can draw. Why doesn't he just... make fliers or something?”
“That’s a great idea. I didn’t know you could draw, Kato,” Scaevol says.
“Yeah, a little. I used to draw from memory a lot. I can start tonight... how many will we need?”
Peilar and Falos exchange looks. “As many as you can make and as quickly as you can make them. Erante can draw too. Can you—” Peilar points to Kato's head and then to Erante’s “—maybe show him what they look like?”
There’s only a split second’s worth of hesitation before Kato agrees and meets Erante’s eyes, putting their faces into his mind as clearly as he can. “They all have knuckle tattoos here—” he shows them his — “They’re 3.0 and 6.0. Melior put them on us when we were children.”
Erante frowns deeply and reaches to brush his thumb over the K. “I'm sorry that happened to you, Kato. I'll get to work.” He stands and excuses himself, then Peilar calls the room to order again once the echo from the door closing fades.
“Okay. We’ve got some of the Renegal searching for the escaped Venandi and we will find Tripp and Six. In the meantime, we need to send someone to Deadrun to question those we have locked up. It's possible that some of them will be willing to give up their cohorts.”
“I can do it. I’d like to talk to my brother again, anyway. I’ll draw at night to help Erante. Would someone like to join me?”
“Well, me, of course. Unless you’re taking a boat.” Aleon laughs, knowing just how much Kato hates the water.
Azrian clears his throat. “Maybe this would be a good task for Aleon and Teagon.” He reaches under the table to grip Kato’s hand and says into his mind, “You’re already trying to take on too much. Let them handle this.”
He already wants to say no, to convince Azrian that he’s okay — but he gave his word not thirty minutes ago. “Okay, Azzy.” Kato looks back toward his other brothers. “He’s right actually... you two don’t need me. Those pictures really need to be drawn.”
“Good, I'm going to beat Syphon over the head with my leg,” Teagon says with a wide smile. “It's part of my therapy.”
Aleon smacks him but laughs as he stands up. “Aren't we supposed to do some weird oath thing? Should I do that first or after we come back?”
“We begin when the sun says farewell for the night. It isn’t weird, you swear to Cettia that you will remain loyal and do what is best for our world and you drink her blood under her light,” Falos explains plainly, but Kato thinks it’s anything but.
“Wait... blood?”
Falos snorts. “It's not literal. Just a liquid representation. You say the words, drink the blood, and you'll get one of these.” He shifts in his seat until his back is to Kato and points to a small, brown symbol on the back of his neck. It's an intricate “R” embossed on what looks like a shield, but it's hard to tell from the distance he's at. “You might be filling in for the Sana, but yours will be gold as our Cogitare.”
“Is it a tattoo?” Kato asks, his eyes dropping to his tight knuckle on the table. “How does it have color?”
“It's not a tattoo,” Peilar corrects. “We don't really have a name for it. It appears once we swear the oath and glows as long as we hold true. If we break our oaths in any way, the light goes out. I suppose Exus and Guara simply found a way to hide it.”
Azrian looks a little horrified. “So that's it? That's the only thing holding you to your promises? Some color on an easily hidden symbol?”
“No.” Torenia flashes an amused look his way. “If your boyfriend doesn't hold up his end of the deal, he’ll be tried and hanged. Or beheaded. One time, a particularly deceitful little Undare was robbed of all five senses and dropped in the middle of the Etrian Desert. We’re a creative bunch.”
“Hold on... what was that?” Aleon’s eyes widen as he looks around the table. “That was a joke right?”
“No it wasn’t, brother. I don’t need to use my powers to know it’s true.” Slowly, Kato turns to meet Az’s eyes, and finds a quiet resolve there that surprises him.
“I know you, Kato,” he says simply. “You'd never break your oath for any reason. And even if you do... I'd like to see them try to take you from me.”
A smile breaks out on his face when he thinks of how fierce Azrian is when he needs to be. “He’s right... I wouldn’t. I’m ready.”
WHEN IT’S FINALLY TIME, they walk outside hand in hand, and Kato’s grip is a little tighter than normal. He’s nervous, even if he doesn’t admit it out loud. Nut runs up when the door closes behind them, and when Kato hears his little voice, he smiles — he missed it.
“Time go home?” the raccanis asks hopefully.
“Not yet.” Kato adjusts the strange tunic they made him wear. “I have something important to do tonight. Don’t ask, you’ll see.” He winks at the animal’s eye roll knowing Nut is too nosey to be patient, then barks a laugh that makes multiple people turn and look at him when he calls him a shadowhead.
After a whispered apology, Kato pulls Az in a little closer. “Nut wants to go home.”
“So do we. We’re almost done,” Az responds quietly, then bends down to scratch Nut’s head after a quick kiss to Kato’s jaw. “We’ll be home soon, little buddy.”
To their surprise, Nut holds up his arms for Az to pick him up and Kato grins. “He wants cuddles.” He doesn’t stick around to see Azrian’s face, because Aleon is already kneeling under Cettia so Kato drops down next to him. “Ready, Ale?”
“No,” he whispers back. “This is insane. Tell me you know this is insane.”
“I might agree with you there.”
Peilar clears his throat. “Last chance to change your mind. This is voluntary, after all.” When neither of them moves, he gestures to Torenia to fill up the intricately carved goblets. “Then, let those around us bear witness. Aleon, we’ll begin with you.”
He takes the goblet and swallows thickly as he peers into it. “I’m... Aleon. I have no surname, but I’m offering my services as the Regnum’s Itinerae.”
“Then repeat after me and drink: En savas, en vitare, en mors. Lorn estune bravi cin Cettia sacritae.”
His hand shakes as he stumbles through the oath and takes a sip, but the goblet slips from his hand and spills all over the ground at their knees as he reaches back to clamp a hand over his neck. “Faeching shadows!”
Kato’s eyes widen as he watches the mark glow, but it looks as if whatever caused him pain left quickly. Here goes nothing.
“Kato...”
When no one else speaks, he clears his throat to copy Aleon in his own way. “My name is Kato, and I also have no surname. I offer my services to the Regnum and swear to be a loyal and just Cogitare. En savas, en vitare, en mors. Lorn estune bravi cin Cettia sacritae.” Kato takes a drink of the smooth, red liquid and it tastes better than he anticipated, but suddenly, heat burns through the skin on his neck, and he grips it with a h
iss — but as he anticipated, the pain is gone within seconds.
Fallen leaves crunch behind them as Teagon leans down and drapes an arm over each of their shoulders. “You know that kinda sorta means that in life or death, you pledge yourself to Cettia until she decides to sacrifice you?”
“Sounds fitting.” Kato forces a smile and shoves his arm off. “Since when do you speak the olden tongue?”
Teagon lets out an offended, exaggerated scoff. “You didn't think I was just good looks, did you?”
“His one and only real relationship was with a librarian,” Aleon mutters. “She happened to be an expert on it, and he picked up a few things.”
“Hey, I liked the way she... checked me out. Get it?”
Peilar throws up his hands and turns around, leaving them still kneeling as Teagon cackles and dodges the punch Aleon tries to throw at him.
“This is going to be a disaster,” Torenia states, and when Kato looks up he sees amusement in their eyes.
“New beginnings require change.” Kato stands and walks over to the other members of the Regnum. “We may joke around, but we are serious when it comes to this. I give my word.”
She bows her head slightly. “I believe you. I've seen enough of what you can accomplish that I think we can handle a little of... this.” She waves her hand to the three of them and huffs a quiet, reserved laugh. “Who knows. Maybe we even need it. Things have been a little tense in our halls.”
“I expect it has been for some time. That’s why we have Teagon. He’s good at helping with tense times.” Kato smiles at his brothers and then turns back to meet her gaze. “Let’s get to work.”
18 The Farewell
“Of course. They’re family,” Ronan states, making Kato and Azrian relax. It isn’t that they expected him to say no, but they felt he had a say in inviting more people to live with them, and him being so open eases the guilt. “We’re going to build another house, right?”