The Housewife Is an Immortal Cultivator
Page 1
THE HOUSEWIFE IS AN IMMORTAL CULTIVATOR
-Book One-
by
CATOFDREAMS
TABLE OF CONTENTS
Copyrights Page
CHAPTER 1 – “THE HOUSEWIFE’S DAILY LIFE”
CHAPTER 2 – “DON’T RUIN A HOUSEWIFE’S VACATION MOOD!”
CHAPTER 3 – “A RUMBLING STOMACH FAR LOUDER THAN THUNDER”
CHAPTER 4 – “MARRIED IN THE BLINK OF AN EYE”
CHAPTER 5 – “NO MATTER HOW GREAT OF A MAN YOU ARE, YOU’LL NEVER BE AS GOOD AS MY HUSBAND!”
CHAPTER 6 – “MONKEY BUSINESS ON THE BEACH”
CHAPTER 7 – “THE IMMORTAL CULTIVATOR TURNS INTO A WILD BEAST”
CHAPTER 8 – “THE HOUSEWIFE IS ON ANOTHER VACATION WITH HER HUSBAND, BUT SHE’S THE ONLY ONE THAT KNOWS ABOUT IT!”
CHAPTER 9 – “A DILEMMA THAT EVEN AN IMMORTAL CULTIVATOR HAS DIFFICULTY FACING”
CHAPTER 10 – “NOTHING WILL STOP THE IMMORTAL HOUSEWIFE FROM STALKING HER HUSBAND!”
CHAPTER 11 – “THE PATRIARCH’S DEBT TO THE IMMORTAL HOUSEWIFE”
CHAPTER 12 – “THE IMMORTAL HOUSEWIFE’S GREATEST FEAR”
CHAPTER 13 – “THE BREWING STORM IN THE SKIES AND IN THE HOUSEWIFE’S HEART”
CHAPTER 14 – “DEAR HUSBAND, I’M ACTUALLY A CULTIVATOR”
CHAPTER 15 – “THE RAINBOW AFTER THE RAIN”
CHAPTER 16 – “THE HOUSEWIFE REPAYS THE FAVORS DONE TOWARDS HER HUSBAND”
CHAPTER 17 – “THE HOUSEWIFE DOESN’T SEEM TO HAVE GOOD COORDINATION WITH HER HUSBAND”
CHAPTER 18 – “THE MARRIED COUPLE’S COORDINATION STARTS A REDEMPTION ARC!”
CHAPTER 19 – “THE MARRIED COUPLE’S FEELING OF DESPAIR DESPITE BEING IN THE FACE OF VICTORY”
CHAPTER 20 – “THE LANG JIE FANCLUB’S REAL BOSS”
CHAPTER 21 – “THE MARRIED COUPLE’S HONEYMOON THAT’S SIX YEARS OVERDUE”
CHAPTER 22 – “THE HOUSEWIFE’S HUSBAND BECOMES A LEVERAGE”
CHAPTER 23 – “DOES THE HOUSEWIFE HAVE ANY PAST LOVERS?”
CHAPTER 24 – “THE LANG JIE FANCLUB’S TWO DIVISIONS FINALLY MEET!”
CHAPTER 25 – “THE HOUSEWIFE TURNS THE ROMANTIC COMEDY NOVEL INTO A COMPETITIVE COOKING ONE!”
CHAPTER 26 – “THE LEADERS OF THE MARTIAL WORLD START A DISCUSSION ABOUT THE HOUSEWIFE”
CHAPTER 27 – “THE HOUSEWIFE’S HUSBAND CAN SHOW HIS ASSERTIVENESS AT TIMES”
CHAPTER 28 – “THE HUSBAND FACES EVERY CHALLENGE HEAD-ON IN ORDER TO BE ACCEPTED!”
CHAPTER 29 – “THE HOUSEWIFE’S HUSBAND AND THE TEMPLE OF DOOM”
CHAPTER 30 – “THE BIRTH OF A NEW FAMILY”
CHAPTER 31 – “THE HUSBAND WANTS TO BE A CULTIVATOR JUST LIKE HIS WIFE”
CHAPTER 32 – “THE HUSBAND DOESN’T SEEM TO PRACTICE MODERATION”
CHAPTER 33 – “THE HUSBAND POURS OUT HIS PROBLEMS AND RINSES IT WITH ALCOHOL”
CHAPTER 34 – “THE HOUSEWIFE AND HER BELOVED HUSBAND”
AFTERWORD
Copyrights Page
Disclaimer: The characters and events portrayed in this book are fictitious. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental and not intended by the author. To the extent any real names of individuals, locations, or organizations are included in the book, they are used fictitiously and not intended to be taken otherwise.
Copyright © 2020 by catofdreams.
All rights reserved. In accordance with the U.S. Copyright Act of 1976, the scanning, uploading, and electronic sharing of any part of this book without the permission of the publisher and author constitute unlawful piracy and theft of the author’s intellectual property. If you would like to use material from the book (other than for review purposes), prior written permission must be obtained by contacting the copyright holder or publisher.
Thank you for your support of the author’s rights.
CHAPTER 1 – “THE HOUSEWIFE’S DAILY LIFE”
"Xue Yan… honey… I'm going to be working overtime! I'm really sorry! I'll make it up to you next time!"
"It's okay darling! You can't help it… Just come home as soon as you can… I miss you so much!"
"I miss you too honey! I have to go back to work!"
The woman sighed as she put away her phone.
"Ah… darling should be tired when he gets home… I should fix up something for him to eat!", she opened up her phone and messaged her husband that she'll cook something for him.
"If he's working really hard, he would want to eat a lot! And maybe if he still has energy… we could… we could… KYAAHH!! Since when did this Venerable One's mind become filled with impurity?!", the woman mumbled to herself, but she felt extremely excited thinking about her husband coming home.
Suddenly, her phone vibrated. It was a message from her husband.
"I'm looking forward to eating your cooking! <3"
The woman looked as if she was about to faint out of happiness.
"If I, Xue Yan, cannot fulfill my husband's desires, then I cannot call myself a good wife!"
As she thought about what meal to make, she had a sudden realization.
"Ah! This Venerable One forgot to buy rice…", she looked outside and saw that it was already getting dark. She looked at the wedding ring on her finger and remembered that her husband didn't want her to go out at night because apparently it was too dangerous.
"Should I just stay here… but since I forgot to buy rice, darling might think of me as an incompetent wife!", she immediately got up and dressed up, preparing to go to the nearest supermarket.
As soon as she left her house, she was immediately greeted by a handsome man, who seemed to be waiting for her outside their home.
"Xue Yan!", the man posed in a cringy way. He leaned on his car, which was apparently a very expensive sports car.
"I see that your beauty is still unparalleled in this world!", the man exclaimed as he flipped his hair. Beads of sweat flew into the wind and glittered as if they were crystals.
"Would you like to have a meal to celebrate your new home? It will be my treat!", the man took on another pose as he pulled out a bouquet of flowers from his car.
Xue Yan ignored him and made her way towards the supermarket.
"W-wait! Please wait!", the man ran towards Xue Yan, who did not seem to acknowledge his presence at all. Despite the man running with all his might to catch up, Xue Yan, who looked like she was walking, seemed to have made a large gap between them, but the man did not give up.
After a tiring run, the man finally had Xue Yan in his reach. He reached out and grabbed her shoulder.
"Xue Yan… p-please… wait…", the man was heavily panting. It took all his strength to catch up to her.
Suddenly, the air around them turned cold.
"Who permitted you to touch this Venerable One?!"
Xue Yan's angry voice echoed throughout the neighborhood. The man who grabbed her shoulder stared dumbfounded at the figure in front of him and became frozen. He was suddenly engulfed in fear.
The woman he had grabbed was suddenly engulfed in an extremely bright aura.
"Let go if you still want to see tomorrow!", Xue Yan scowled at the man, who yelped out of fear. He fell on his bottom. Just like how the shadow of the woman engulfed him, a liquid coming from his pants also engulfed the ground beneath him.
Moments after, the bright aura disappeared and Xue Yan went on her way.
The man remained seated on the ground, his pants wet with his own shame.
"That's disgusting!", a passerby exclaimed while looking at the man who was on the ground.
After hearing the passerby's remark, the man
felt awakened from a trance.
"Wait, what just happened?", the man looked around for a while, confused as to what just happened. As he stood up, he felt that his bottom was wet. As soon as he looked down, he immediately remembered what happened.
"No one has ever shamed me, Zhou Jingyi, this much!", the man angrily exclaimed.
"Xue Yan… you will pay!", he continued shouting at the air.
"You should change your pants before that!", the passerby heard his screaming and left behind yet another remark.
"Please come again!"
Xue Yan had finally bought the rice she needed. As she made her way home, she imagined what would happen tonight when her husband came home.
"Darling! As much as I love your cooking, it's not the only thing that I want to have tonight…", her husband's face filled up her mind.
"Hehe… Lang Jian darling, you beast… hehe…", Xue Yan was drooling as she continued living in her vivid imagination while walking home.
"Stop right there!"
A large group of burly men suddenly blocked her way.
"You shouldn't have gone against me, Xue Yan!" Zhou Jingyi appeared from behind the group of men.
"I shall teach you a lesson for the shame you have brought me today!", he angrily exclaimed.
"Oh? You think you are worthy to teach this Venerable One?", Xue Yan calmly responded while wiping the drool off her face that came from imagining her husband.
"Miss, you better give up. There's more than ten of us, and only of you. If you come with us peacefully, we might let you live… after having a bit of fun, of course.", the large man ogled Xue Yan and noticed that she was incredibly beautiful. Her figure was also outstanding.
The large man couldn't wait anymore and let his impatience get to him, but as soon as he took a step forward.
*BAM*
The large man flew backward, into the group behind him, which caused all of them to fall as soon as they collided with his body.
In front of them, the woman remained calm, but she looked at them with scornful eyes.
"Mere insects dare to waste this Venerable One's time.", she sighed as she continued walking home.
"Wait! Don't move!", one of the guys pulled out a gun and pointed it towards Xue Yan.
She immediately stopped, and the air around them turned cold. Zhou Jingyi, who had already experienced the feeling once, already fainted. His body already knew what it was like to be in the presence of Xue Yan.
"You dare threaten this Venerable One with a mere toy…", Xue Yan angrily mumbled as her bright aura started engulfing the area.
The man who held the gun trembled in fear. As he looked straight into the light, he felt that if he did not do anything, he would be eaten alive.
*BANG*
He pulled the trigger. The gun flew off from his hand due to the recoil and his weak grip since he was trembling. He checked to see if his bullet hit the target, but all he was left with was awe.
The woman in front of him remained still. She caught the bullet and crushed it with two fingers.
The men looked in awe at the sight. They immediately kneeled down and prostrated themselves.
"Please forgive us!", they all exclaimed in unison while kneeling on the ground.
"You caused trouble for this Venerable One, and you expect me to forgive you?!", Xue Yan's angry voice filled all of the men's hearts with fear.
"We'll do anything! Please, spare us!", they continued begging for their lives.
They could hear the woman walking towards them. For every step she took, they felt their hearts slowly being crushed by fear.
"You will do anything?", Xue Yan asked.
"Yes! Anything!", the men continued to plead.
"Okay."
As soon as she said that, the surroundings became normal once again. The bright light disappeared, and the air was no longer cold. They all stood up and bowed towards Xue Yan out of gratitude, except for Zhou Jingyi, who was still on the ground, completely unconscious.
"Thank you for sparing us! We swear we will never trouble you again!", the large man showed his gratitude towards Xue Yan, and then turned around and walked away. The rest did the same. They were eager to be far away from the scary woman.
"Wait! Who said I'm letting you go?", the woman angrily shouted at them, which made them all stop in their tracks.
"There's something I need you all to do.", she looked at them with an evil grin on her face. The men all swallowed their saliva out of fear.
'Is she gonna torture us?'
'Does she want to hide our bodies?'
'Is she going to bury us alive?'
Scary thoughts continued flying around their heads as they submitted to Xue Yan.
"Follow me.", Xue Yan continued walking back to her house.
The men could do nothing but obediently follow her.
As soon as they arrived at the doorstep, the men could feel impending doom.
"Come in.", Xue Yan prodded with her fingers as she signaled them all to enter the house.
'So this is where we meet our end.'
'The life I've lived was short but sweet'
More thoughts came rushing through the men's heads, but this time, they were all ready to accept whatever fate gives them as they entered the house.
"Are you all ready to receive your punishment?", Xue Yan asked the men, who all obediently nodded. They had already accepted that those were their last moments.
The large man, who was in front of everyone, closed his eyes and bowed his head, ready for his life to be terminated, when suddenly…
*CLANG*
Something hit his face and fell on the ground. He opened his eyes to see what it was and saw a bucket with a few towels, as well as some broomsticks and mops lying on the floor.
"I need you all to clean the house as fast as you can. If I see a single speck of dirt, you know what's next.", Xue Yan warned them.
Some of the men started crying. The tears that fell down from their face wasn't from fear, or from sadness. It was from gratitude for sparing their lives.
"Thank you, oh Venerable One!", the large man immediately showed his gratitude. He remembered that the woman always referred to herself as 'Venerable One', so he used the same words, hoping it would please her.
The household was now extremely busy. Xue Yan gathered all her knowledge of the world to prepare a delicious meal for her beloved husband, while scary looking men cleaned the house with utmost focus and speed.
After a few minutes, the men reported back towards Xue Yan.
"Oh, Venerable One! We have finished the task! The place is completely clean!", the men proudly reported.
"This Venerable One will be the judge of that!", Xue Yan responded and started checking throughout the house.
The floor and the walls were all sparkling clean. The furniture seemed to have been cleaned as well.
"You all pass. You may now leave. Don't tell anyone about me.", Xue Yan felt contented with their work. The men felt extremely happy as they were now free to go with their lives.
As they were about to leave the house, Xue Yan suddenly shouted.
"Wait!"
All of them froze. The men looked at each other, trying to see if one of them was guilty for not doing their job well.
Could they have missed a spot? Are their heads going to roll now?
Xue Yan approached them. Once again, the men felt their hearts slowly getting crushed by fear.
"You…", Xue Yan reached for her pockets and took out something.
The men's hearts started thumping. They felt suffocated. The world seemed to flow in slow motion for all of them, as Xue Yan held something on her hand.
"Give me your number. I need you all to come over to clean as soon as I call.", Xue Yan handed over her phone to one of them.
The men all sighed out of relief. The large man filled in his contact information and handed the phone back to Xue Yan.
"Hmm… how should this Venerable One address you peop
le?", Xue Yan asked them.
"W-we are known as the Red Death Gang.", the large man responded.