The Housewife Is an Immortal Cultivator

by Catofdreams

  "Bring your plates over and I'll judge it!", Xue Yan clapped her hands and told everyone.

  Hao Liuxian stepped up first and placed his dish on Xue Yan's table. His version of braised pork shoulder was cut into thick pieces on the plate. Each of the pieces seemed to be oozing some kind of thick, white liquid, which looked incredibly unappetizing. It also had a weird chocolate smell to it with a hint of fishiness.

  Xue Yan used her qi to block her nostrils and asked the first contestant.

  "So, what makes your braised pork shoulder unique?", Xue Yan asked Hao Liuxian. She couldn't bear to ask him if he thought his dish was delicious since if he were to answer yes, she would send him to heaven straight away. The smell and appearance of the dish were already quite unique, so she wanted to know if Hao Liuxian added any more unique ingredients to it.

  "Ehem… I call this… the Land and the Sea's Braised Pork Shoulder!", Hao Liuxian proudly announced the name he thought up for his dish. His disciples looked at him with a dismayed expression as they thought that even his naming sense was bad.

  "Why is it called that?", Xue Yan asked Hao Liuxian with genuine curiosity.

  "I brought the freshness of the sea and the powerful nature of the land together and poured it into this dish. The bluefin tuna provides the sea part, and the herbs and spices, as well as the pork, provides the land. I also added a bit of white chocolate since chocolate tastes good, therefore, it should taste good in dishes as well.", Hao Liuxian explained his thought process.

  Xue Yan nodded as she listened to Hao Liuxian. She took a piece and moved it into her mouth, where she prepared a small transfer array in order to transfer the disgusting piece that contained the freshness of the sea and the powerful nature of the land away from her. She didn't want to have anything to do with the dish, but she had to give Hao Liuxian some face in order to preserve the power balance in the Lang Jie Fanclub.

  "Mhmm… it tastes good. Not spectacular, but not bad either.", Xue Yan gave out a fake judgment. Everyone in the room gave a clap, except for Hao Liuxian's disciples, who stood there dumbfounded as they heard Xue Yan's judgment.

  "Next!", Xue Yan called for Mao Cheng's dish. She needed to wrap everything up faster since her husband was already on her way home.

  "Boss… cooking isn't really my thing, but I tried my best to make this. I hope you enjoy it.", Mao Cheng presented his dish in a humble manner, which already gave him a few points in Xue Yan's book.

  His dish looked incredibly simple. It was nothing more than a few slices of braised pork shoulder. There was nothing special about it, but it was already far better than what Hao Liuxian created.

  "There isn't anything much to it, boss. I just followed a recipe on the internet and did a few tweaks to it in order to make up for the lack of time.", Mao Cheng explained the simplicity of his dish.

  Xue Yan only nodded in response and took a bite of his dish. This time, she didn't have to use the transfer array since the dish looked safe to eat.

  To her surprise, the dish tasted just like a normal restaurant's braised pork shoulder, albeit a bit tougher, but that was to be expected since they didn't have much time to cook.

  "It's quite good! It really captures the essence of braised pork shoulder. The texture is a bit too tough though…", Xue Yan announced her judgment, which made everyone in the room clap.

  Hao Liuxian had a proud expression on his face as he thought that his victory was certain. Xue Yan did not have any complaints about his dish, but she complained about the texture in Mao Cheng's dish which made him feel quite confident.

  "So… I won't waste any more time since my husband is right around the corner. The winner is…", Xue Yan quickly announced. Both Hao Liuxian and Mao Cheng were on the edge of their seats as they waited to hear the name of the winner.

  "The winner is… Mao Cheng! Congratulations!", Xue Yan clapped her hands as she announced the name of the winner.

  Hao Liuxian's expression was filled with shock.

  "B-boss! In what way was his dish better than mine? I'm sure that my dish was-"

  Before he could finish complaining, Xue Yan shot him a glare.

  "Don't question this Venerable One's decisions! Quickly wrap up all of your dishes and clean everything up!", Xue Yan angrily told Hao Liuxian, who immediately followed her orders out of fear.

  In mere moments, the dirty kitchen quickly became clean as the force of the former Heavenly Duan Sect and the members of Mao Cheng's gang cleaned the area.

  Once Xue Yan saw that everything was sufficiently clean, she brought out a large paper bag and pulled out something that was wrapped in aluminum foil. As she unwrapped the foil, beautiful cuts of braised pork shoulder were revealed, making both Mao Cheng and Hao Liuxian shocked as the dish in front of them made them realize that their culinary skills were still far from good.

  "Plate this up for everyone. Including one for Lang Jie.", Xue Yan commanded everyone, who were all happy to oblige. Once they heard that they were also going to get a plate, they rushed to follow Xue Yan's orders since they also wanted to eat a piece of the braised pork shoulder that looked like it came from heaven.

  Just as all of the preparations were finished, Lang Jie's voice came from the entrance to their home.

  "Honey, I'm home!", Lang Jie felt happy knowing that his wife was waiting for him at home. Xue Yan also messaged him in advance that Mao Cheng and his group were coming over along with a few more people, which made him feel happy since it felt like there was a celebration.

  As everyone happily sat down on the table, they all quickly ate a piece of the braised pork shoulder that Xue Yan brought. Lang Jie had already tasted it before, but he still could not get enough of it.

  "Honey… your cooking is still as great as ever!", Lang Jie didn't miss the chance to compliment his wife. Xue Yan couldn't say anything in response, but the blush on her face revealed everything that she was thinking.

  "Boss… did he say that you cooked this? How did you manage to cook it perfectly in such a small amount of time?", Mao Cheng asked as he started to feel interested in the culinary world. He tried scouring the internet for ways on how to make the pork shoulder tender in a small amount of time, but he couldn't find anything plausible enough to use, so he wondered how Xue Yan was able to achieve the result he wanted.

  "Well, I have my own trade secrets. If you train hard enough, you'll also find your own techniques.", Xue Yan responded. Even though she said that, she also had no technique that could tenderize the pork in such a short amount of time. She did, however, have a treasure that holds a separate space in which time moves at a far slower rate. It was there that she managed to finish cooking her dish just in time.

  Hao Liuxian also took a bite of the pork. As soon as it entered his mouth, his memories came flooding in. It tasted just like the one that he ate back then. The one back when he was just a weakling and tried to ask the recipe from the chef.

  As he continued to enjoy his food, he looked at Xue Yan, who was apparently the one who made the dish. It was then that he realized that the great chef that he had always wanted to meet was now in front of him.

  "Boss… no… master! I will continue to serve you until the end of time!", Hao Liuxian swore his loyalty towards the great chef that was one of his motivations in order to continue down his path to cultivation.

  As those words filled Xue Yan's ears, she realized that today's goal has finally been fulfilled. Hao Liuxian was the loose end that she had to fix since she knew that he would hold some kind of resentment for her. She did, after all, use force to take over the Heavenly Duan Sect, which would always leave hatred in the hearts of the affected. As she heard his words filled with sincerity, she realized that she no longer had to worry about it.

  That night, the Lang Jie Fanclub was fully united.

  "Now, for your punishments.", Xue Yan stood in front of Hao Liuxian and Mao Cheng, who were both kneeling down facing her.

  She clapped her hands, which made the men from both the form
er Heavenly Duan Sect and Mao Cheng's group move forward. All of them had plates in their hands which contained the dish that Hao Liuxian made.

  "Your punishment is to eat everything. Not a single piece must be left!", Xue Yan gave out her decree, which made everyone feel a bit confused.

  Xue Yan said earlier that his dish didn't taste bad, so how was it a punishment? Although Hao Liuxian's disciples felt worried before when they saw their patriarch concoct the deadly mixture, their opinions changed as soon as they heard Xue Yan's judgment.

  "That's it! Now, start eating.", Xue Yan sat down and closely watched everyone with an evil smile on her face, which made everyone feel worried.

  Hao Liuxian was the first one to take a bite. As soon as his creation entered his mouth, he felt his soul leave his body.

  Everyone else did the same. Each of them experienced different things, but none of them were good. Some of them felt their stomach becoming alive and trying to escape their bodies. Some of them even heard their tongues crying out in pain as the vile monster that Hao Liuxian created entered their mouths.

  As everyone continued to suffer, Xue Yan laughed maniacally, enjoying the suffering of her subordinates caused by their own failures.

  It was that night where the Lang Jie Fanclub was not only fully united in their hearts, they were also fully united in the hospital, as they all suffered from trauma and food poisoning.

  CHAPTER 26 – “THE LEADERS OF THE MARTIAL WORLD START A DISCUSSION ABOUT THE HOUSEWIFE”

  At one of the peaks in the Taihang Mountains, a large event was happening.

  On a large round table, eleven masters were seated around it, one of them being Wen Cheng. There was a twelfth chair, but it was empty.

  All of the masters stared intently at Wen Cheng, who felt troubled by the amount of attention he was getting. After all, he held a hand on the matter that they were about to discuss today.

  As the atmosphere in the area started to feel tense, Wen Cheng saw that no one was willing to start the discussion, and since he disliked the feeling of the attention he was receiving, he had no choice but to start it himself.

  "Ehem… so today's matter is about the cultivator in the Immortal Emperor Realm, Xue Yan.", Wen Cheng cleared his throat and announced the topic of the discussion.

  "Let's just go straight to the point…", one of the masters immediately shot his words towards Wen Cheng.

  "The Heavenly Duan Sect has disbanded. Their members, including their patriarch Hao Liuxian, have joined forces with the Immortal Emperor Realm cultivator, which is quite the imbalance in terms of the division of powers between sects.", the master continued.

  All of the people in the room nodded in agreement except for Wen Cheng. He knew that this discussion was going to be hard for him. Although his Purple Lotus Clan was one of the bigger sects, there were still others that were just as big. The smaller sects could also band together and become a formidable force. If this continued, the imbalance in power could cause a war between the other sects and Xue Yan's faction. At that point, he didn't know what side he should take.

  He also couldn't just follow what everyone wanted since that would mean he would have to go against Xue Yan, which was also a scary thing in itself.

  "Although we've left Xue Yan on her own devices for the past few years, we never expected her to meddle with our affairs.", the master continued his explanation. He felt that he was feeling a bit worked up since the dissolution of the Heavenly Duan Sect dealt a large blow to him. The large sect that he was in an alliance with, as well as invested heavily in, suddenly disappeared overnight.

  "I also heard that you lent a hand to Xue Yan when she was dealing with Hao Liuxian and his sect?", the master asked Wen Cheng while glaring at him. The other masters in the room also stared intently at Wen Cheng, eager to hear his answer.

  "I did indeed lend a hand to Xue Yan, but it was because it involved the safety of my Purple Lotus Clan.", Wen Cheng responded. His response was not very well-received since the other masters thought of his act as treason.

  "In what way was it a threat to your clan? Do you not realize that because of your actions, the entire martial world may end up in turmoil?!", the master couldn't suppress his anger anymore and slammed his hands on the table. Before, Wen Cheng didn't dare to offend him since he was two steps behind him in his level of cultivation. Now, Wen Cheng was on par with him, which made him feel even more infuriated.

  "Chen Yuan, calm down.", Wen Cheng told the angry master, who quickly collected himself in order to prevent himself from looking even more unsightly due to his short temper.

  "I only defended my clan at the time. Although I did lend a hand to Xue Yan in dealing with Hao Liuxian, the Heavenly Duan Sect were the first ones who launched an attack towards my clan.", Wen Cheng explained his actions.

  After hearing this, Chen Yuan's anger shot through the roof.

  "Shameless! You were the ones who forcefully seized a property that the Heavenly Duan Sect owned! They only wanted to pay back what you had done towards them!", Chen Yuan angrily shouted at Wen Cheng.

  Wen Cheng raised his hand, asking Chen Yuan to give him a chance to finish his explanation.

  "That is where the problem lies, Chen Yuan. The Heavenly Duan Sect wanted to attack me, but they attacked someone else instead.", Wen Cheng told him.

  Everyone in the room had a look of confusion on their faces as they heard Wen Cheng's words.

  Chen Yuan also had a look of confusion on his face, but he quickly recovered.

  "Who did they attack then? I recall that they launched a direct attack towards your main headquarters…", Chen Yuan recounted the plan that Hao Liuxian told him before.

  Wen Cheng looked at everyone in the room and let out a sigh.

  "They kidnapped Xue Yan's husband."

  Wen Cheng's words echoed throughout the room. Everyone who heard his words facepalmed as they heard of Heavenly Duan Sect's great blunder. They all believed Wen Cheng's words as he has always proven himself to be honest despite his cunning nature.

  "Xue Yan? The cultivator at the Immortal Emperor Realm? She has a husband?", a female master stood up and asked Wen Cheng. Her voice in itself was seductive, but her body was even more so. The other masters in the room immediately focused on controlling their qi since the female master had a unique type of qi flowing inside her.

  "Sister Wu… please suppress your qi. Even all of us here are close to your level, we are still vulnerable to the Fairy Demon's Avatar.", Wen Cheng told the female master, who quickly suppressed his qi, making all the other masters feel relieved as they could now relax.

  Lei Wu is the patriarch of the Sleeping Fairy Sect, a sect composed of only female cultivators since most of the art she taught was only compatible with women. She was also a formidable cultivator.

  Although she was only at the peak of the Celestial Realm, she could still hold her ground against other masters like Wen Cheng, who was at the third step of the Divine Realm, four whole steps above her. This is due to the unique qi inside her called the Fairy Demon's Avatar.

  Lei Wu had the qi since birth. Those who were exposed to her qi became crazy for her, regardless of gender. When she was young, she was a parentless child who lived in an orphanage. At age 5, her dantian suddenly started producing qi, which activated her meridians without her knowing. She didn't know anything about cultivation back then, which resulted in a massive disaster.

  Every movement she made, no matter how small, exerted a small amount of her qi. Everyone in the orphanage became smitten by her and gave her everything she wanted. She felt happy at first, but as time passed, the people around her became hostile towards each other. All of them felt their selfishness grab a hold of their hearts as they longed to keep Lei Wu to themselves.

  It didn't take long before everyone turned against each other, which ended up in a bloody mess. Lei Wu was the sole survivor in the orphanage. She tried to seek refuge in other places, but the end result was the same.

  After wi
tnessing the death of many people, Lei Wu thought that she was the embodiment of death. She didn't want anyone to suffer because of her, so she ran towards the forest of Sai Han Ba, which, at the time, was filled with beasts.

  Not long after she entered, she was already in a life and death situation as a beast had cornered her deep into the forest. Lei Wu had already accepted her fate and closed her eyes as the beast lunged towards her.

  *CRACK*

  The sound of bones cracking filled Lei Wu's ears, but she didn't feel any pain. She slowly opened her eyes and saw a woman who tightly gripped the head of the beast that was about to attack her. The beast's skull was crushed by her tight grip, which resulted in the beast's death. The woman threw away the carcass and looked at the poor child who was cowering in a corner.