Running a hand through my hair, I glance up, seeing Mom staring right at me. “Why didn’t you tell me he was coming?” I knew Dad had invited him, but I thought he declined, since no one said anything else about it.
“I forgot,” Mom claims with a shrug of her shoulder.
“You forgot,” I deadpan, knowing she’s lying to me. “Mom, this is not a good thing. Dad cannot know what happened, or that this baby is Dax’s.”
My mom and I are super close, so of course, I told her about that hot and wild night with Dax. I told her how he made me feel alive, and how much I enjoyed his company. Being with him that one night, changed my entire life, and it’s hard to pretend like I don’t know him now. That night with him, it was … unbelievable. It was everything I had been looking for, but didn’t quite know it. I definitely hadn’t expected to get pregnant, but Mom was right by my side, offering all her love and advice for me.
I wouldn’t have been able to get through those first few months without her.
“I don’t know why you won’t just tell him.”
Letting out a sigh, I say, “It’s not that I don’t want him to know. It’s just that I don’t want Dad to fire him, and then blacklist him for it.” Mom’s eyes soften, as I add, “We both know how Dad can be, when he overreacts.”
“I still think Dax should know,” she says, as she brushes my hair out of my face.
Nodding, I use my hand to rub my belly. She’s right about everything. Dax should know, because what kind of person am I, if I keep this from him any longer? I can’t deny him the chance to be a father, and the overwhelming guilt I feel, knowing I haven’t told him yet, sits heavily on my shoulders.
“Okay, Mom,” I concede. “I’ll tell him, I promise.”
Awkward doesn’t even begin to describe how dinner went tonight.
Not only was I trying desperately to stop staring at Dax, but I was also figuring out how to get him alone to tell him about the baby. Thankfully, Mom and Dad didn’t catch onto how quiet I was, but I could literally feel Dax’s gaze on me every chance he got.
The chemistry we had six months ago is still there.
If anything, it’s burning hotter than ever before.
Letting out a sigh, as Mom and Dad decide to retire for the night, I walk into the kitchen, hoping I can do this. My heart begins to race, as I wonder how Dax will react to the news I’m about to deliver. Will he be upset I haven’t told him, or will he be excited?
To busy myself from my constant thoughts, I begin to load the dishwasher. Mom told me not to worry about it, but she should’ve known I would need something to do to keep my mind busy for at least a few moments. Then again, I bet that’s why she pretty much pushed Dad out of the room, once dinner had ended.
Mom was trying to give me the opportunity I need to talk to Dax alone.
Glancing up, I suck in a deep breath, seeing him standing by the Christmas tree in the living room. The tree is huge, and it literally takes up half of the room. Mom and Dad always go all out for Christmas, and this year is no different. Well, other than the man I’m lusting for is here, tempting me constantly. His back is to me, and I’m glad it is. I need this moment to drink him in without seeing his intense brown eyes, staring right back at me.
From the moment I laid eyes on him six months ago, I just knew I needed him. I can’t really explain the sensation, but all I do know is, without him, I feel empty inside. It’s like a piece of me is missing, and I know he’s the missing piece. It’s strange, because I’ve never felt this way about a man before, but I don’t question it.
I just want him without all the obstacles in front of us.
As he turns, I quickly dart my gaze back down to the task at hand. However, I feel his gaze on me, and my stomach dips, when I think about the look he’s giving me. I already know how that fierce gaze looks, because I witnessed it for an entire night with him.
It still feels the same.
Consuming.
Breathtaking.
Explosive.
Feeling my heart race, I swallow hard, as I sense him approaching. I tense, once I see him standing beside me out of the corner of my eye, but I don’t utter a word just yet. All of the words I want to say, seem to just disappear, now that he’s close.
“I thought you were supposed to be in Italy for Christmas,” he claims, and I close my eyes, savoring his light touch against my shoulder.
As he brushes my hair back, I lean into his touch, greedy for more. Everything about him is pure temptation, and I can’t seem to help myself, when he’s around. I just want his touch all over my body, and honestly, I don’t care what I have to do to get it.
It’s like I’m craving it, and it’s unlike anything I’ve ever experienced before.
Swallowing again, I glance up, and as soon as I do, my breath instantly leaves me. Our gaze locks, and I have this sudden urge to wrap my arms around him, and then kiss him, until we’re both left panting.
He licks his lips, and I know he feels it, too. The sexual tension between us is so thick, and I’m sure if my parents walked into the room with us, they would feel it, too. That very thought pulls me out of the trance that he sucks me in, and I step back, hating to leave his touch.
“They cancelled the trip. Plus, I can’t exactly travel right now,” I claim, as I lay a hand on my stomach.
Confusion rushes through me, as his jaw clenches, and I wish I could read his thoughts. What’s he thinking about? Standing still, once his eyes drop down to my hand, I know now is the time to tell him. I have to come clean about the baby, and why I had to keep it hidden.
Before I can do just that, he states, “I shouldn’t have come.”
My heart sinks, hearing his words, even though I understand why. It dawns on me that the only reason why he’s here, is because he thought I wasn’t going to be. It hurts knowing he doesn’t want to be around me, but then again, I understand at the same time. We’re just unable to stay away from one another, when we’re around each other.
“Is the father involved?” He asks, and I raise my eyebrows in surprise, because I wasn’t expecting the question.
Recovering quickly, his gaze stays on my stomach, as I softly utter, “He doesn’t know.”
Dax
My gaze snaps up, staring right into her blue eyes, as I consider her words. What does she mean he doesn’t know? For some unknown reason, my heart pounds in my chest, as I get a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach.
She’s hiding something from me.
“Who’s the father, Blair?” I ask, but it sounds like a demand.
To her credit, her gaze stays on mine, as I wait for her answer. It’s clear she’s not going to back down from my intense gaze, and it shouldn’t excite me that she doesn’t look away. I shouldn’t want to push her against the wall, while I slowly slide my hand down her pants, and then touch her tight pussy.
I shouldn’t want to do anything with her, because she’s the only woman capable of destroying every single thing I’ve worked my entire life for.
“Blair,” I warn, when she still hasn’t answered me. I have this need inside of me to hear what her answer will be, and I step closer, when she doesn’t comply.
Placing both of my arms on the counter, I smirk, knowing I have her right where I want her. She can’t escape me, but I know she’s happy about it, too. Her cheeks flush pink, as a rush of air leaves her perfect, plump lips. We both know how dangerous this can be, but right now, I don’t give a fuck.
I just want to hear her answer.
Leaning down, I hover right over her lips, as I whisper, “Tell me.”
Keeping my gaze on her lips, she sighs deeply, and then utters, “You are, Dax.”
Jerking back, I frown, as disbelief rushes throughout my entire body. “What did you just say?” I must’ve heard her wrong. There’s no way she just said what she did.
However, the sadden look in her eyes tells me everything I need to know, even before she says, “The baby is yours.”
/> For a few moments, all I can do is stare at her, as shock races through me. I try to find the words to respond, but they fail to come. My mind is literally blank, as I think about what she just said. There’s no way that I could be … a dad, right? Once I quickly get past the shock, anger comes at me full force.
Stepping back, I run a hand down my face, and then I shake my head. “How could you keep this from me, Blair?” I never in my life imagined she would keep something like this from me, but it explains why she was looking so guilty, when I arrived earlier today.
“I’m so sorry, Dax. I know I should’ve told you.”
“Yeah, you’re damn right about that.” She shrinks back at my harsh words, and I clench my jaw, hating how I can’t seem to control myself. Pushing out a breath to try and calm down, I glance down, before asking, “Why didn’t you just tell me?”
“I’m sorry, okay? I thought it would be best, since I know how Dad can be.”
Snapping my head up, I narrow my gaze at her, as I really think about what she just said. “If you think for one second that I give a fuck about Harry, you’re sorely mistaken. You should’ve told me, Blair. Nothing else would’ve mattered, and I think you know that.”
Her silence speaks volumes, even though I can understand why she didn’t want to tell me. Harry is very protective over Blair, and he has a reputation for making damning decisions. It’s possible that if Harry finds out, he’ll fire me, and then blacklist me. If that happens, my entire life of working my ass off will all be for nothing.
Then again, this is my child, and I just can’t fully see or understand her reasoning.
Staring at her, I realize I see her in a different light now. I thought I knew her, and I really thought she was a good person. However, the fact she was keeping something like this from me, makes me realize that maybe I don’t know her at all.
She’s a complete stranger.
Deciding to take a step away from the situation, I turn, intending on going up to the guest room. But then, Blair grabs my hand, and I instantly stop. “Dax, please. Don’t go.”
Clenching my jaw, I hate hearing the sorrow in her voice. A part of me knows she’s hurting by my reaction and my rejection of her, but the other part, just needs some space.
Pulling my hand out of hers, I ignore the pain that suddenly makes my chest clench, and I ignore the empty feeling in the pit of my stomach.
Walking away from her, is by far, the hardest thing I’ve ever done.
Blair
Lying in bed, I stare at the ceiling, hating how guilty I feel. Not to mention, the deep regret is right there with it. It’s like it’s eating me alive from the inside out, but I have no idea what to do about it.
I thought Dax and I would’ve had a chance to talk more today, but after breakfast this morning, he left, and I don’t know if he’s coming back or not. It seems like this is my punishment, and of course, I would be feeling this way on Christmas Eve.
I just wish he would let me explain why I kept the news about the baby from him. It’s not that I wanted to, but more of, I wanted to protect him. I’ve heard so many times from Dad, that Dax has worked his ass off for years to get where he is, and I just don’t want him to lose that. Yes, it was a selfish and stupid to keep him in the dark, but I didn’t want to be the reason why he lost everything.
Even as I think about my reasons now, it doesn’t seem like it was the right choice.
I should’ve just told him.
I should’ve handled this entire situation differently, because now, I don’t know if he’ll ever forgive me. The thought of him hating me, makes my stomach hurt and steals my breath. Tears begin to fill my eyes, as I think of him never looking at me the way he did before. Is it crazy that I feel this strongly about him?
Wiping my cheek, as a tear escapes, I sigh deeply, hoping tomorrow I can start to fix what I’ve broken. I have to at least try, or else, I know I’ll carry this pain with me for the rest of my life. Rubbing my stomach, the baby kicks, and I grin, loving how it feels. This is another reason why I feel so horrible.
I’ve robbed Dax of this, and I’m starting to hate myself for doing so.
Right as I’m about to break down, I hear the door to my room open. Quickly sitting up in bed, I wipe away all my tears, thinking it’s Mom coming to check in on me. Once I told her what happened, she was my shoulder that I needed the most.
So when I see Dax walk inside my room, my heart literally jumps with hope.
“Were you asleep?” He softly asks.
“No,” I manage to say, and I hope he doesn’t hear how upset I am in my voice. I’m just happy he’s back, and that he didn’t decide to go back home.
Turning on the lamp by my bed, Dax walks inside, and then quietly shuts the door behind him. For a moment, our gaze locks, and my breath is suddenly taken away again, but for an entirely different reason. He’s the only one that’s able to do this to me, and I have a feeling it’ll always be like this.
When the moment becomes too intense, I glance down at my hands, hoping like hell this is my chance to make things right, or at least, begin to start trying to make things better between us. My heart pounds in my chest, as I look back up, seeing he’s still standing where he was before.
Licking my lips, I softly claim, “I’m so sorry I kept the baby from you, and I promise, it was only because I was trying to protect you. I didn’t do it out of malice.”
His eyes soften, as he walks further into the room, and then he sits down on the bed. I desperately want to reach for him just so I can feel him, but instead, I force myself to stay right where I am.
“I’m not upset with you, Blair,” he states, and the instant relief I feel is amazing. It’s like a weight has suddenly been lifted off my shoulders. “I understand why you thought keeping the baby from me was the better choice, but it still hurts to know you did so.”
Clenching my jaw, I hate hearing that I’ve hurt him. I never wanted that, so I reach over, and then place my hand in his. “I never meant to hurt you, and I’m deeply sorry that I have. It seems this entire situation just keeps getting more complicated.”
He smirks, and then says, “Don’t I know it.” I let a small smile form, when he tightens his hand around mine, and again, hope blooms in my chest. “I know there are a lot of obstacles in our way, but I do want to be a part of our child’s life.”
“I want that, too,” I claim without any hesitation. “I do think we should wait, until after Christmas to tell my dad,” I add, after a few moments of silence.
Dax nods, and I’m glad he agrees. The last thing I want is to ruin Christmas, because I just have this gut feeling, once the news comes out, things are going to be really bad for a while. I love Dad more than anything, but I also know he can overreact. I wish I could tell him, but I’m so afraid of how he’ll react towards Dax.
Feeling the baby kicking again, I grin widely, thanking the little one for the distraction. Glancing up, I notice Dax staring at me. “He’s kicking,” I claim, and then lay a hand on my stomach.
“It’s a boy?”
Shrugging, I state, “I’m not sure, but it feels like a boy.” Taking Dax’s hand, I place it on my belly, as I add, “I’ll know for sure at my next appointment. Mom wants to know too, so I decided to find out for sure.”
With his hand on my stomach, and as the baby kicks away, I feel something shifting inside of me. It starts as a warming sensation in my chest, and then, it moves throughout my entire body. Then, I realize how right this moment seems, and that this is how it was supposed to happen. No matter how I went about things, I know this moment between us is special, and I’ll never forget it.
I watch in amazement, as Dax feels his child kicking, and his smile grows with each one. “Does this happen often?”
“Yes, and it doesn’t matter what time of the day it is either. This baby is active all the time, and let me tell you, the weird cravings are starting to freak me out,” I say, and then we both laugh.
It feel
s good to laugh with him again, instead of wondering if he’ll hate me forever. Hearing his deep and husky laugh takes me back to the night, when we first met. That night is literally unforgettable, no matter how hard I’ve tried to do so. Dax just ingrained himself right into my soul without my knowledge, and I just knew there was something special about him.
Not to mention, how he made my entire body come alive with want and need with just one look.
Feeling his hand move up, I swallow hard, as my core clenches with that same need. My attraction to him is still consuming, but I find that I don’t really care. As his brown eyes meet mine, I know he can feel the sudden sexual tension in the room, too. It’s so present in his eyes, and especially, when I glance down, and then realize his cock is hard.
“Are you thinking about that night, too?” He asks, and his voice sends a delicious tingle down my spine. Unable to speak, I nod, and then suck in a deep breath, when he licks his lips. “I thought so, because I’m thinking about it. I’m always thinking about it, Blair.”
Before I realize what I’m doing, I lean in close, and at the same time, so does Dax. His hand cups my cheek, and then his lips are on mine. The moment our lips connect, it’s like something in both of us either snaps or breaks free. Either way, it’s as if we’re desperate for one another, and like we’re both unable to get enough.
As he slides his tongue inside of my mouth, I moan, and then wrap my arms around his neck. At the same time, he grabs my hips, moving me onto his lap. I’m so lost in lust that I don’t care about anything else around us. All I know is, I need him and his touch. I need him to quench this hunger he brings out of me, no matter the cost.
In the back of my mind, I know that my parents are literally right down the hall, but I can’t seem to find the rational side anymore.
I just want Dax.
I want all of him.
Christmas Wishes: A Christmas Romance Anthology Page 30