by Sue MacKay
She leaned towards him, laughter in her voice. ‘Behind that gruff exterior lies a softie.’
A warm softie at the moment. Despite the aches and pain forcing everything out of his head, he was comfortable having Kayla in his house and around his boys. They weren’t bothered by her presence at all, which was unprecedented. They usually got wound up whenever anyone other than Christine or Jack came over. Progress? Or Kayla’s genuine caring nature? ‘Don’t tell anyone.’
‘I won’t. What time do these guys go to bed?’
‘Nine o’clock.’ Callum this time.
Jamie locked one eye on him. ‘Really?’
‘Um, no.’
‘Seven thirty,’ he told Kayla, who was holding back a laugh.
‘Just after you, then,’ she murmured, and stood up. ‘Right, boys, I’m phoning out for dinner. Definitely nuggets and hot dogs?’
‘Yes,’ they shouted, and followed her to the kitchen.
Jamie sank deeper into the couch, closing his eyes but not his ears. The boys were happy, not a hint of wariness around Kayla. That had to be good. Or not, since she wasn’t becoming a part of their life. Why not? She was another person not connected to the past they could say hi to if they bumped into her in town. Someone new.
Who are you trying to convince here, Jamie? Why are you trying to persuade yourself Kayla could slot in with the boys when the only way they’d have anything to do with her is if you do?
Did he want that? She was the only woman since Leanne who’d made him feel there might be a reason to start looking forward. Careful. None of this meant he could take notice of how she had his blood heating and a fierce longing stirring where nothing had stirred for ages. At the end of the day he had to protect the kids from any harm whatsoever, and that meant putting them before his own needs. She could as easily upset them as not. Too early to know what she might do.
‘Are you dad’s girlfriend?’ Ryder asked.
Jamie tried to leap up and stride into the kitchen to demand Kayla leave right now, but his body wouldn’t play the game. He was stuck in a position that would take some leverage to get out of. Time for a new couch that didn’t sag in the middle.
‘Me?’ Kayla squeaked. ‘No.’
Did she have to make it sound as though that was the last thing she wanted? It was a small hit to his ego. Shouldn’t have been, but was.
‘Dad doesn’t have a girlfriend,’ Callum said.
Thanks, guys. You’re supposed to be on my side here. Keep the family secrets in the family.
Not that there was anything secretive about not having a woman in his life. Everyone who knew anything in this town knew about his divorce.
‘Don’t you like Dad?’ Ryder to the fore. ‘He’s cool.’
‘Ryder,’ Jamie bellowed. ‘Stop it right now.’
Kayla carried on like he hadn’t said a word. ‘I’ve been on a rescue with your dad. He rescued me off a mountain once, so he’s really cool. Now, Ryder, you grab the salt and pepper.’
So I’m cool?
Or else Kayla was taking the easy route through the grilling. Jamie’s ears strained for more.
‘Do you like him?’ Persistent Ryder was not taking a jot of notice of him.
‘Of course I do.’
‘Where do you live?’
‘Ryder.’ Give that kid a bone and he’ll make short work of it every time.
Kayla was handling the questions with ease. ‘Up on the hill behind the school. I can see the mountains in the distance.’
‘Can we visit some time?’
Kayla laughed. ‘Are you always this inquisitive?’
‘Yes,’ Ryder answered. ‘You didn’t answer. Can we come to your house?’
‘Only if your father agrees. Now, where’s the sauce?’
You’re not going to sidetrack them that easily. They’re taking no notice of me so you might as well settle in for the long haul.
The little blighters seemed to like her. Good or bad? Of course it was good as long as they didn’t get too connected. When they accepted someone they tended to leap in and not look sideways. It didn’t happen often, so far only with Christine and Jack, and Zac who came round for a beer occasionally.
But those three people were open and friendly, honest and genuine, didn’t knock their trust sideways, as David had. Obviously Ryder and Callum thought Kayla appeared reliable, but he knew from experience that people changed when things weren’t going their way. He swore through the pounding in his head, now added to by the woman here to keep an eye on him. He needed more painkillers and something to make this exhaustion drag him under so he couldn’t think any more. Then he did trust Kayla with his boys? Good question.
‘I’ve got the sauce,’ Ryder said. ‘Do you have kids?’
‘No, I haven’t.’
‘Why not?’
‘Ryder, that’s enough,’ Jamie called out. Maybe he shouldn’t trust the boys not to cause trouble. Who knew what the next question would be, and although he wanted to learn more about Kayla, he’d find out directly. He would? He coughed, tasted smoke. Or imagined he did. A bitter flavour filled his mouth. He would not get to know Kayla that well. He couldn’t afford risking getting close and then having to deal with the ructions that’d follow if it went belly up. And what was to say it wouldn’t? What said it would? This was ridiculous. Kayla intrigued him when he wasn’t looking for a relationship. Here he was wondering what might happen if knowing Kayla got out of control. He needed another bang on the head to clear his mind.
‘Can we have a fizzy drink?’
‘Do you usually have one before dinner?’ Kayla replied.
‘Dad says we have to have water at night.’
‘Then water it is. Did you have fun at summer school today?’
‘Yes.’ The boys talked on top of each other, keen to tell her everything.
Well done, Kayla. Diversion in place.
Jamie relaxed further. Whether it was good the boys were totally comfortable with her or not, tonight it made everything simpler. He didn’t have the energy to make them dinner, or oversee their showers before bed. That beam had done a number on his body and everything was catching up. He’d leave worrying about how Kayla was fitting in with his family too quickly, too well, till tomorrow.
Tomorrow. She’d be heading out the door to go to work. Out of their lives other than whenever they met through work or rescues. Wouldn’t she? Or was she done for the week? Four days on, four off. Wasn’t that how it went with the ambulance staff? The pounding in his head made it hard to recall details he knew as well as the scar on his hand from once pulling a dog out of a flaming laundry. Another fire, another memento. Another fib to the boys to hide the danger of his job.
A long yawn dragged in air and forced it out again. Dang but he was shattered.
* * *
‘Here’s your dinner.’ Kayla spoke quietly in case Jamie had nodded off. Sleep was better for him than a burger.
His answer was deep, slow breathing. Good. She’d have to wake him soon so he’d go to his room and into bed. His body fully stretched out on a mattress would be easier on those bruises than having his legs hang over the end of the couch and his shoulder digging into a lumpy cushion. The drawn look marking his face had gone. She knew it would return when he woke, but for now his body was resting.
It was strange to be nursing Jamie, if that’s what she could call this. Very used to giving urgent attention to people who’d had an accident or medical event, she wasn’t used to caring for someone after the doctors had finished with them and didn’t know much more than taking note of pain levels and watching for symptoms suggesting the concussion was worse than initially diagnosed. A nurse she was not. But Josue believed she was capable, and she was. Even stranger was how happy she felt. She wanted to make sure Jamie would be all right, that nothing untoward happened during the
night. This wasn’t about a patient, it was about Jamie, and how he’d held her hand, given her courage and strength when she’d been floundering.
She should be running for the hills, hiding until this new sense of wanting to be with a man disappeared. Dylan had been the love of her life, and he was gone. The emptiness that had followed had dragged her down, turned her life into dark solitude, a place that now she was out of she never wanted to return to.
‘Dad, why aren’t you eating your burger?’ Ryder asked from the other room.
Kayla headed for the other room, her finger to her lips. ‘Shh, Dad’s sleeping and that’s good.’
‘Are you staying all night?’
‘Yes, I am.’
‘You’ll have to sleep on the couch. There aren’t any other beds.’ Ryder was grinning like a cheeky monkey.
‘That’s okay. My legs aren’t so long they’ll hang over the end like your father’s.’ Not quite anyway. Kayla grinned back. She’d curl up on the couch, though those cushions didn’t look very comfortable. Might be better to lay them on the floor and stretch out to soften the aches she got in her legs after a day at work. ‘Do you have a shower at night?’
The boys looked at each other. ‘No-o.’
‘Guess what? You are tonight. Let’s do it before Dad wakes up and then you can surprise him.’
And me, if you take any notice of what I say.
‘Okay.’ They headed in the direction of the bathroom, leaving Kayla shaking her head.
Were they really doing as she’d asked?
Squeals came from the bathroom, followed by shouts. Guess they were.
Kayla walked across to see if Jamie was still asleep.
‘You have them wrapped around your little finger,’ he said in a sleepy voice that made her feel as though a light scarf had caressed her skin and teased her with longing.
‘They’re probably outside the shower in their clothes, pretending to be washing.’
‘Anything’s possible with those two.’ The love on Jamie’s face told her all she needed to know about this dad. He’d do whatever it took to keep them happy and safe.
But he was also unbending when it came to rules. She’d seen him leading a search team with authority but not overdoing the I’m-in-charge part of his job. He led from the front.
‘What woke you?’
‘You insisting they have a shower.’ His smile was slow and kept ramping up her need for him. ‘You seem to understand kids. You told the boys you haven’t got any.’
‘No, I haven’t.’
Come on, explain. It’s part of getting to know each other.
‘Dylan and I were trying. I had two miscarriages.’ She nipped her bottom lip. ‘The second one on the day Dylan crashed his car and died. He was on his way home to me.’
Jamie reached for her hands, clasped them, squeezed gently. ‘Oh, Kayla.’
‘Yeah,’ she sighed. She liked the way he didn’t try to say the right thing when there weren’t any words to help. Time had diminished the pain, hugs from close friends had helped, but nothing she’d been told had gone towards her recovery. Sitting there, Jamie once more holding her hand, was enough. Then she went and spoiled it. ‘I missed him so much, and it’s taken for ever to start moving forward. I’ll probably never have a family now.’
‘You’d like children?’
‘Yes. Absolutely. I was so excited both times I learned I was pregnant. Losing them was hard. I don’t know if I could go through that again. Or if I can even carry a baby to full term.’
‘Other women have multiple miscarriages and still go on to have their own children. It can happen for you.’
Her hand was being squeezed tighter. She held on, savouring the moment, glad she had told him. ‘It’s the heartbreak that’s the hardest to deal with. And losing Dylan and a baby at the same time was agony. Another miscarriage would bring all that back and I don’t think I could get through it again.’
‘That I can understand. But you’re a strong lady, Kayla. Don’t ever forget that.’
Oh, wow. He said the most wonderful things. She’d just spilled her soul, and he was understanding. She doubted he’d forget this conversation by the time he woke up in the morning, concussion or not. Finally, after a few minutes, she straightened her back and asked, ‘Are you hungry? Your burger will only be lukewarm, but I can get you something else if you’d like.’
Moving his head slowly from side to side, Jamie winced. ‘I’ll try the burger. I’m not ravenous but a couple of bites might shut my stomach up.’
‘Thought I heard a noise.’ She helped him sit up and went to get his meal. ‘I take it I’m sleeping on the couch.’
Jamie’s shoulders slumped. ‘I didn’t give that a thought. The boys can top and tail so you can have a bed.’
‘No way. They need to sleep properly if they’re going to summer school tomorrow. I’ll be fine sprawled out in here.’ Until the bones started complaining.
‘Are you sure? It’s hardly fair when you’ve gone out of your way to help me.’
She had, hadn’t she? How cool was that? Helping people was her go-to place all the time. It was something she enjoyed and got a buzz from. Falling for a man wasn’t like that. Jamie waking her up in ways she’d never believed possible again was very different, exciting and scary all in one, but she’d get through the night and go to work no worse off. She had to. ‘Stop talking and eat. I’ll cope.’
Jamie managed half the burger before putting it aside and clambering awkwardly to his feet. ‘I’m going to bed.’
Kayla stood beside him. ‘Your head spinning?’
‘A little, but don’t think you can catch me if I trip.’
‘You reckon?’ She laughed, feeling right at home with him. Same as it had been with Dylan right from the beginning. A sense of being with her other half, of becoming whole. She swore.
‘Careful. There’re kids within hearing.’ He was serious.
‘Sorry. I wasn’t thinking.’ She’d been out of line but it had been an instant reaction to that preposterous thought. Jamie was nothing like Dylan. In any way, shape or form. Other than his gentleness, love for his family, strength and determination. Nothing like Dylan at all. Nothing. Trying too hard to convince herself?
Not looking good, Kayla.
‘What rocked your boat?’ They’d reached his bedroom door.
‘Nothing important.’ Glancing at Jamie, she instantly knew he saw through her denial. ‘Nothing I care to talk about,’ she added to shut down ideas he might have of pushing for answers. There’d been enough talking tonight. ‘I’ll pull your bedcovers back and leave you to get undressed.’ Heat filled her cheeks at the thought of helping Jamie out of his clothes. ‘You won’t need a hand, will you?’
Grow a backbone, Kayla. How many semi-naked patients have you worked with? Why would this man be any different?
Because he was Jamie, and like it or not he was winding her up something shocking. Shocking in that no man had done this to her for years, hadn’t created any kind of reaction that had gone beyond friendship. These feelings were more than friendly. Unheard of, in her book.
He took a long, measured look at her, as though trying to read her, to see what made her tick. Or trying to fathom what she’d meant. What could be plainer than she wasn’t interested in undressing him for bed? Then he gave an abrupt shake of his head and winced. ‘I’ll manage.’
Perfect answer. ‘Good. Want a hot drink to down more painkillers?’ Paramedic to the fore, not the blithering female who hadn’t had anything do with a male in an intimate way in so long her body had probably forgotten the moves, let alone the emotions.
‘Tea would be good.’
‘How do you take it?’ They were being distant. Probably the best way to go. Except she did like him, and wanted them to get along. She wasn’t only thinking about how he made
her blood race or her fingertips tingle. He was a great guy and she didn’t intend walking out of here tomorrow and not have anything more to do with him outside work or S and R. She wanted to become friends. That was one word for these foreign emotions swirling through her. Friendship was safe. Didn’t cause as much pain if it went wrong. But it could. Her heart was involved with Maisie and Mallory.
‘White and one.’ Jamie stood, hands on hips, waiting for her to disappear so he could get his gear off.
She’d laugh if it wasn’t so damned ridiculous how her gut got in a twist over something so ordinary. Except nothing about a hot man taking his clothes off in front of her would be ordinary. It would be exciting and fun and—
Stop right there. If you can’t be sensible, at least pretend to be.
‘I’ll see what the boys are up to.’ Sensible enough? She sighed. More like boring. Not that Jamie’s kids were boring. They were adorable, and Ryder was the spitting image of his dad. The same thick black hair and piercing brown eyes, and his mouth did that cheeky twist at the corners when he was being smart. Callum must have his mother’s looks as he was blond with blue eyes, but that cheeky glint in his shy gaze instantly reminded her of Jamie. Not the shy, but the cheeky.
‘Don’t let them talk you into being allowed to stay up an extra half-hour. They’ll try every trick in the book,’ Jamie warned.
‘Onto them.’ She headed for the lounge where a programme was blaring on the TV screen. ‘Okay, guys. Ten minutes before you have to be in bed.’
‘The programme won’t be finished,’ Ryder muttered.
‘Then you can record it.’ Fingers crossed he was allowed to. ‘Your dad wants to say goodnight. Don’t bounce on the bed or jump on top of him. He’s very sore.’ She was sure these two would be exuberant if allowed to be.
‘Is Dad going to be all right?’ Callum asked, staring at the floor.
‘Yes, he is.’ Sitting on the couch armrest, she explained. ‘He’s got lots of bruises on his arms and shoulders, and his head. He needs time for them to get better and stop hurting. But don’t worry, he’s strong. He’ll soon be playing games with you again.’ There was a football and three bikes on the front porch, suggesting he got involved with these guys as much as possible.