Guilty as Charged

by Harlow James

  “Oh, Javier,” she says his name with a roll of her tongue. “Have you taken a Latin lover, Sydney?”

  I bite my lip to fight my smile again. “Something like that.”

  “And is he the reason you can’t stop smiling.”

  “Yes … but it’s new, okay? Don’t jinx it.” I point a finger at her as if she has any control over what happens with Javi and me.

  “So apparently we’re allowed to accept flowers from Javi then?”

  I chuckle. “Yes. Definitely.”

  “I’m happy for you, Sydney.” She smiles adoringly and then walks away, leaving me staring at the flowers in the corner of my office, loving how different this flower delivery felt compared to the last.

  When I leave the office later that evening, a strange feeling comes over me in the parking lot, almost like I’m being watched. I don’t see anyone and the traffic sailing beside the building blocks out any weird noise, so I shake it off and slip into my car, locking my doors once I buckle in and check my phone. A text message from Ally pops up, asking me if we’re still on for hanging out tomorrow night.

  “Shit,” I say out loud in my car as I pull away from my workplace and hit her name once my phone connects to the Bluetooth speaker.

  “Hey, girl. Did you get my text?”

  “Uh, yeah I did. Listen, some stuff came up yesterday …”

  “Are you cancelling on me, Sydney?” By the stark tone of her voice, I’m sensing that she’s mad.

  “Well …”

  “You’d better have a damn good reason to cancel on your best friend …”

  “Javier asked me over.”

  “Wait! What?”

  “God, Ally! So much happened yesterday and I was running late this morning so I didn’t get a chance to call you. Javi and I are … dating.” I’m practically squealing at this point because I know she’s going to be as excited as I am.

  “Shut the front door! What the hell happened, Sydney? You’d better fill me in now!”

  I laugh at her excitement and demands, and then proceed to inform her of how last night went, adding on the detail of the impromptu flower delivery today.

  “Holy smokes! Okay, I guess I can accept your cancellation this once so you can spend time with your man. But if you start blowing me off consistently, we will fight, Sydney.”

  “I don’t doubt it. It’s just new and exciting, even though it’s not really new, I guess …”

  “No, this is huge. You got what you wanted, girl, and the man feels it too. You owe it to yourself to see this through …”

  “You know when my dad catches wind, it’s not going to be pretty.”

  “Well, that’s something you can’t control, but you can control what happens between the two of you until then, so focus on that. From the things you’ve told me about him, I think this could be it, Sydney.”

  “Most of what I’ve told you has been about our sex,” I declare, partially taken aback by her bold statement. I know what I feel for Javi is real too, but I’m not naïve about the obstacles we face, particularly with my father. Then add on the fact there’s still so much I don’t know about him.

  “Um, good sex is key to a long lasting relationship, Syd. Collin and I fucked like bunnies before we had kids. And when things get heated between us now, a good bout of hate sex helps even everything out.”

  “You are strange, my friend.”

  “No. I’m honest.”

  “Okay. Well, you promise you aren’t mad at me for bailing on you?”

  She sighs dramatically. “No, I guess not. Jared will be though. I guess no more pining after him, huh?”

  “Um, I was never pining after him, Ally. I think that was you …” I fight a chuckle as I close in on my condo.

  “He’s just nice to look at, Syd. I still love my husband.”

  “Good to know. I’ll just have to get my ice cream elsewhere now.”

  “I’m sure Javier will be more than happy to deliver on that need for you.”

  “How did you make that dirty?”

  “It’s easy.”

  “Okay, well, I just got home. I have to go through some files before tomorrow, so I have a long night ahead of me …”

  I can hear screaming in the background of Ally’s phone, so I know our conversation was about to end anyway. “Okay, girl. And hey, I’m happy for you. I’d love to officially meet him soon. Maybe you two come over for dinner or something …”

  “Maybe a Dallas game once the season starts! Javi’s a Cowboy’s fan too!”

  “Okay, I like him even more now. Have a good night, girl.”

  “You too, Al. Love you!”

  The call ends as I park my car and hustle inside, forcing myself to focus on this case so I can leave work behind this weekend and enjoy my time with Javi.

  By the time the clock strikes five on Friday evening the next day, I’m so unfocused that I leave work practically panting as I sit behind the wheel of my car.

  “Calm down, Sydney. It’s not like you’ve never been to his place before.” I practice some deep breathing before I check the back seat for my bag and head for Javi’s house. He assured me he’d be home by five thirty and told me to just head over straight from work.

  When I pull in his driveway and see his truck there, the anticipation I’ve been feeling combusts and I feel like I can’t move. I know this night is different and means more than any other time I’ve come here, and I guess that expectation is playing with my head. I want him to open up to me, but I also don’t want to push him away. If anything, I feel like I’m walking on eggshells right now.

  But when he opens the door looking freshly showered with a black t-shirt on, gray shorts, and a kitchen towel slung over his shoulder, part of my anxiety melts away. No matter what happens tonight, this man wants me here and by the way his eyes are lit up at the sight of me, I know that this evening will be great just because the two of us are together under the same level of expectations.

  “Hi, beautiful.” Javier steps forward and brings me into his chest, planting a kiss on my lips. “I can’t stop kissing you,” he mumbles against my lips as he spins me inside of his house and keeps his mouth on mine.

  “I don’t want you to stop.” I meet him with every nip and swipe of his tongue as we maul each other for a few minutes, forcing me to drop my bag on the tile floor beneath us.

  Borderline panting, Javier forces us apart. “Fuck. Okay, we need to stop otherwise I’m gonna burn dinner and I’m sure you’re hungry.”

  “Well, I am starving.”

  “Okay. Let’s eat and then we can pick that back up later.” He presses a kiss to my nose and the move makes me want to cry. This broody man I met two months ago is putting moves on me like that one, and part of me wonders if this is the same person standing in front of me?

  As Javier walks back to the stove, I pick up my bag and place it near the couch.

  “You can put your stuff in my room if you want,” he calls over his shoulder, so I follow through with his suggestion. As I walk back down the hallway, I glance in the rooms I pass and notice the living room and kitchen are now complete as well, including all of the tile.

  “Javi, did you finish the house?”

  He turns to face me again, with a prideful smile. “Yeah, last week.”

  “Oh. I guess … I guess I didn’t notice the other night.”

  “Yeah, well, there were other things to be focused on. Are you thirsty? I have beer and I bought some wine. I wasn’t sure what you liked.”

  “Wine would be great.”

  “White or red?”

  “Well, what are we having?”

  Javi grins and then takes the lid off of a sauté pan. “Pan seared scallops, mushroom risotto, and grilled asparagus.”

  “Uh, holy shit! You can cook?”

  His laugh travels through the kitchen and hits me right in the chest. I never knew he had such a deep but vibrant laugh that could light me up on the inside.

  “Yeah. I spent a
lot of time watching The Food Network in prison. It was one of the only channels we got on the little television in the community room. I took a lot of notes and when I got out, I decided to try a few recipes. This is one I’ve perfected, so I wanted to make it for you.”

  So much of what he said swirls around in my brain—particularly him mentioning his time in prison. “Oh. Well, I can’t wait to try it.”

  He clears his throat as if he realized what he said so casually and then changes the topic instantly. “So red or white?”

  “What?” I shake my head, firing my brain to concentrate back on him and not the bomb he just dropped. “Oh, white please. Goes better with seafood.”

  “I agree.” He moves around the kitchen flawlessly and then presents me with a glass. “Here.”

  “Thank you.” I take a sip and savor the flavor once it hits the back of my tongue. I take a seat at the counter and watch Javi finish up the meal.

  “So, how was your day?”

  “Ugh, long. I couldn’t wait to come over here.”

  “Me too, Princess.” He turns with two plates in hand and directs me to the table with a flick of his head.

  As we settle in and I take the first bite, I’m blown away at the flavor. “This is incredible, Javi. Thank you.”

  “You’re welcome, babe. I was nervous. I’ve … never cooked for anyone before…” He stares down at his plate, the hard exterior I’ve grown to recognize sliding over his entire demeanor.

  “Not even Andre and Selena?”

  “Nope.” He shakes his head. “Selena is a boss in the kitchen. She wouldn’t let me in even if I tried.” He’s joking which lightens his mood a bit, but then he slips back down.

  “Javi, is something wrong?”

  He huffs and then leans back in his chair, setting down his fork and wiping his mouth. “I don’t know how to do this, Sydney.”

  “Do what? Have dinner?”

  “No. Date. Talk to you. I feel like I don’t know what to say. I’m so fucking happy you’re here, but then in the back of my mind, I feel like there’s a stick of dynamite that’s waiting to be ignited, threatening to explode and ruin the evening.”

  “We’ve talked before, Javi. This is no different. What are you afraid is going to ruin everything?” I reach for my wine, trying to drown my nerves with alcohol. I knew Javier was uneasy, but I didn’t realize he was this stressed and tense.

  “Like the past.” His eyes lift and find mine, and I sense his concern.

  “Okay. Well, how about we just start small. Tell me about your childhood. What you were like back in school since I didn’t really know you existed then?” I offer him a sweet and comforting smile, but I can tell he’s still hesitant.

  Running his hand through his hair, he picks up his fork again and dives back into his food. “Okay. I can do that, I guess. Well, my mom is from Texas. She’s white actually. And my dad came here from Puerto Rico.”

  “Ah. Okay, I was gonna ask where your family is from because I wasn’t sure how Latin you were.” I wink at him across the table.

  “Yeah. I got the dark skin to a certain extent from my dad, but my mom’s whiteness likes to shine through too.”

  “Can I just say that your ethnicity is part of what draws me to you, Javi.”

  His lips tip up. “I’m pretty sure you’re white as can be, Princess, but I’m drawn to you too.”

  I smile and continue eating. “Okay, so what about in school? What was Javier Montes doing while I was busy doing … well, everything.”

  He scoffs and then answers. “Well, after my dad died, I went through a hard time, which I guess isn’t surprising. I got into smoking pot, drinking… you name it, I tried it. My group of friends were from this side of town, a little rough around the edges, down to see what kind of trouble we could get into. When I was sixteen, I got caught shoplifting alcohol from a liquor store. I escaped juvi since it was my first offense, but I had to do community service. My mom was pissed. She told me to get my act together and graduate, otherwise my father would be rolling around in his grave. So I did, for the most part. I still partied and shit, but I tried to stay out of trouble.”

  “Wow. So while you were partying and getting arrested, I was leading pep rallies and cheering at the football games on Friday nights.”

  “Yeah, I remember.” He smirks in my direction.

  “Really? You actually went to a game?”

  He shrugs, taking a sip of his beer. “A few. My crew kinda hung out under the bleachers and smoked while everyone else actually focused on the game.”

  “Oh my gosh! That was you and your friends? Everyone always wondered why the stands reeked of pot.”

  Javi laughs. “Yeah, we took strange pride in that accomplishment.”

  “I take it you never took honors or AP classes either since we didn’t have class together at all.”

  “Nope. I barely passed and graduated, even though I could have easily. I just didn’t like to do homework.”

  “I don’t think anyone likes homework, Javi. Have you … have you ever thought about going back to school?”

  He nods. “I did, especially when I was serving my sentence. But I got the job with Gibson Construction when I got out and knew I could make a decent living, so I decided against it. Loans and homework didn’t sound appealing.”

  “Yeah. I understand. So, uh … how long were you in for?”

  He pauses, staring at me across the table as my heart beats nervously. “Two years.”

  “Wow. And was this … recent?”

  He nods. “I got out about seven months ago.”

  “Oh.” I don’t know what to say. I didn’t think his sentence was something so fresh. No wonder he’s apprehensive to talk about it.

  “Yeah. Um, are you done?” He stands and grabs his plate, reaching for mine as well. I look down and realize I actually ate during that conversation, but don’t think I could eat any more.

  “Yes. Thank you. It was amazing.”

  “You’re welcome, Princess.”

  “Are you still insisting on calling me that now that we’re dating?”

  Javier chuckles as he rinses the dishes and starts putting things away. “I think it just suits you, babe. I always thought you gave off that princess vibe.”

  “I thought you called me that because you hated me.”

  The water runs in the sink as he scrubs at the plates and loads them into the dishwasher. “At first, yeah. But now, I think it has more meaning.” He shoots me a sideways glance with a small smile on his lips.

  “Oh. Okay then.”

  While Javier finishes cleaning the kitchen, I go to his room to change into more comfortable clothing. I was still in a navy shift dress from work while we were eating.

  My head spins a bit from knowing more about Javier now. It’s no wonder we never crossed paths in school. We certainly didn’t have the same priorities or run in the same circles. Hell, I didn’t even have my first taste of alcohol until the summer after graduation at a lake party when Ally shoved it in my mouth, stating she was tired of my bitching. I was a nervous wreck thinking my father would disown me if he ever found out. Funny how much I think of his opinion now.

  As I walk back into the living room, Javier is sitting on the couch, scrolling through his phone while he waits for me. I take a moment to appreciate the specimen of a man that has invited me into his home tonight—not as a hookup, but as someone he genuinely cares for. He may be nervous and uneasy about progressing our relationship, but there’s a resounding firmness in my gut that tells me this is right—he and I together feels inevitable.

  Sometimes two people find each other at the right time, and that might mean living lives prior to their connection that don’t necessarily add up. But now, with the way he’s staring at me as I walk to him in my gray tank top and black leggings, it reminds me that beyond this physical pull I feel for him, there’s an emotional one too.

  I see a man that just wants to be accepted, reassured that he’s m
aking up for his mistakes and the wrong decisions he’s made in his life. And I want to be that woman for him with every bone in my body. I am falling so incredibly hard for him, especially now that I have permission to, that I’m afraid what the ground will feel like this time if he lets me fall again.

  “Hey. You more comfortable now?”

  I nod, reaching him at the couch and sinking down on the cushions next to him. “Yes. Very.”

  “Good. I refilled your wine and brought you a blanket in case you get cold. I have the air down low to fight the humidity.”

  I gaze around the room where a few candles have been lit and admire the work Javi has done in this house. My hand finds his face as I cup his jaw and lightly press my lips to his. “Thank you for having me here tonight … as your girlfriend, Javi. I want you to know how impressed I am with what you’ve done with this place and with that meal you made me. Even though I’ve been here several times before, tonight feels different in the best way. I’m in awe of you. You are hardworking and respectful. You’re loyal. You are an amazing man and I still can’t believe you’re letting me in.”

  His eyes soften as they drop to my lips and then back up to my eyes. “I’m glad you’re here too. Even though I tried to fight it, I feel like you and I were inescapable in some crazy way. I’m still shocked we’re here, but thank you for not giving up on me.”

  “I don’t think I could if I tried. Just like you never gave up on me during the self-defense class.”

  Javi laughs as he pulls me into his lap so I’m straddling him. “Oh, I wanted to, Princess. There’s no mistaking that. But you were just too damn feisty to let me.”

  “Don’t forget it.”

  “I couldn’t even if I tried.”

  I kiss him softly before we part again. “Ally wants to meet you.”

  “Your friend from The Jameson?”

  “Yeah. We’ve been friends for most of our lives and was always near me in high school. She’s my best friend and I told her about us. She needs to give her seal of approval.”

  He takes a deep breath of courage. “I thought she looked familiar. Okay. I can do that.”

  “Don’t worry. She’s nothing like my dad. Hell, just a few weeks ago she was trying to set me up with her ice cream man.”