Stand: A Bleeding Stars Stand-Alone Novel

by A. L. Jackson

  Should’ve known better than all of that. The girl acting the victim. Needing money to get out of the bad side of town.

  Was pretty sure she’d been running back down there all along.

  From the kitchen, Ash scoffed and banged shut a drawer. “And I’m sure that’s exactly how that bitch kept you eating out of her hand, isn’t it? Making demands? Twisting things to go her way? Knew it the second she came waltzing in behind Mark that she was no good. Not all that hard to put a finger on her type.”

  “Yeah,” I said. “We knew from the start none of you would ever go for it which was why we kept it a secret.”

  Baz turned all the way around. “We could’ve helped you. Why the hell did you ever think you had to go this alone?”

  My gaze darted to Anthony, back to Baz, and I prepared to make my confessions. “Because it was my fault.”

  “What was your fault?”

  “All of it.”

  Chapter Forty-Three

  Zee ~ Twenty Years Old

  “You have to show. We hit the road tomorrow. Need to see you before I go.”

  Anxiously, Zee peered back through the bathroom door, through the murky light and into the bedroom where Julie was asleep in their bed. He’d crept into the confines of the bathroom so he could take the call and not disturb her since it was close to midnight.

  He kept his voice quieted. “Don’t know that I can make it this time. All this last minute, late night shit has been putting a stress on Julie.”

  “Forget Julie tonight. I’m gonna be gone for the next six months. She won’t have to worry about putting up with me.”

  Zee rubbed a hand over the top of his head. “Who’s over there?”

  “Just a few friends. Rest of the band are off spending time with family before we hit the road.”

  “You’re not high?”

  “Do I sound like I’m high?”

  Zee hefted a regretful sigh, hating that he even had to bring it up. “No, you don’t.”

  “Then get over here.”

  Zee peeked out again at Julie’s silhouette, before he blew out a resigned breath. “Fine…I’ll be over there in a few.”

  “There’s my little brother.”

  Zee ended the call and slinked back into the bedroom, silent as he pulled on a pair of jeans and a shirt over his head before he quietly snuck out the door.

  He just hoped he didn’t regret it.

  Zee shouldered through the house packed with faces he didn’t recognize, searching for the one face he wanted to see. The one person who held the power over him to drag him out in the middle of the night without telling his girlfriend where he was going.

  Pushing through the pulsing crowd, Zee knew that compulsion was greater than just obligation. There was something special about him and Mark. Their brotherhood was something that mattered.

  Mark would always be Zee’s hero and Zee would always be his rock.

  Zee found Mark and Veronica slung back on a couch, the girl draped around him like some kind of shiny, overpriced trinket. Gorgeous, but by the look on her face, never worth the cost.

  Mark rushed to stand when he saw Zee approaching. “Hell yeah, the little brother is here. We can officially get this party started.”

  Mark wobbled on his feet, his smile free and wide, though he was missing that obliteration Zee had come to recognize so well.

  Zee chuckled beneath his breath, slanting his brother a wry grin. “Looks to me like you already started without me.”

  Mark slung his arm around Zee’s shoulder. “Guess we need to catch you up.”

  Four shots later and Zee was feeling just fine. Too fine. Too good and too loose. He joked with his brother in a way they hadn’t in a long, long time. Like they’d done back when they were kids and their lives weren’t filled with complications and obstacles.

  Back when the only thing that mattered was them.

  Mark clung to Zee as the night grew deep. Both of them were swaying where they hung out with Mark’s friends in the backyard of some dude’s house. He’d never even caught the guy’s name.

  Mark slurred his words toward Zee’s ear. “Gonna miss the hell out of you. You don’t know what it’s like out there on the road. Gets so fucking lonely out there. Think I start to lose my mind just a little bit…start thinking crazy shit is going down, this paranoia I can’t shake, like everyone is after me.”

  Zee squeezed the back of Mark’s neck in some kind of an encouraging embrace. “Maybe it’s time to ask yourself if it’s worth it. If living this life is what you really want to do.”

  Mark’s head shook. “Nah, man. It’s my life. The one thing I’ve got going for me. Me and the guys? We worked our asses off, paid prices none of us wanted to pay, and we did it anyway. No way am I gonna ever let that go. Seeing this through with my crew is the absolute most important thing to me.”

  “I get that, Mark. I get it. But how are you going to know when you’ve had enough? When you want more?”

  Mark’s gaze drifted over to where Veronica was in the far reaches of the yard having a conversation with a guy Zee’d never seen before.

  The two of them were barely shadows in the dusky light that stretched out from the house. Every once in a while, the dude’s bleached-white hair struck in the light.

  There was just something about him that screamed sleazy.

  Trouble.

  Like his brother needed any more of it.

  Unease curled through Zee’s gut. It almost seemed like they were arguing. Their words heated and lowered.

  There was no missing Mark’s suspicion, either. His brother swallowed and his spine went rigid. “Sometimes I think I might deserve something more. Want something more. But then I realize I always go looking for what I want in all the wrong places.”

  “You care about her?” Zee asked, chin barely angling toward the shadows.

  “Too much, obviously.” Mark seemed to shake himself from the heaviness. “Come on…forget this bullshit. Don’t know when I’m going to see you again. Let’s not waste it.”

  Zee’s eyes narrowed as he tried to see through the fog, his vision blurry, and his limbs heavy. Darkness spun just as fast as the room while everything else felt slowed and distorted.

  He blinked, trying to focus on the movement, the wispy silhouette that broke through the hush of the room he’d stumbled into where he sat sprawled back on a dingy, broken-down couch.

  Hands were in his hair, a body straddling his waist.

  He groaned.

  He hated her. He knew he did. But he couldn’t stop his body from reacting, couldn’t stop his hands from going to her hips. Pushing her off. Pulling her forward. He didn’t know.

  “What the fuck is going on in here?”

  Zee sucked in a staggered breath when a blinding light suddenly split into the room. He was completely disoriented and panting as he attempted to focus. To clear the stupor.

  Veronica was off him in less than a flash. Her big brown eyes were wide, her mouth twisted with feigned innocence.

  Disgust rippled from Mark in waves as he took a step deeper into the room. “What the fuck do you think you’re doing, little brother?”

  For a flash, Zee squeezed his eyes, trying to process. To make sense of what had just gone down. “Nothing.”

  Mark laughed. But it was lacking the affection it normally imbued. “Nothin’, huh? Sure looked like something to me.”

  Mark rocked and took a lurching step forward, as fucked up as Zee, maybe more so. But where Zee felt nothing but confusion, it was clearly anger that raced Mark’s blood.

  “I was just checking on—” Veronica started to speak when Mark’s phone rang.

  “Don’t want to hear a word, Veronica,” he spat in her direction as he jerked his phone free. A sneer rode his expression when he turned the face Zee’s direction so he could see who was calling. “Aww…looks like someone noticed you were gone.”

  Julie.

  Alarms blared. Warp speed. Deafening.
/>   Zee flew to his feet. “Dude…don’t fucking answer that.”

  Bitterness rolled from Mark’s tongue, and he was accepting the call, pushing it to his ear. Zee could hear the panicked dread in Julie’s voice as she asked Mark if he’d seen Zee.

  “Oh, he’s right here, nothing to worry about. On second thought, maybe both of us should be worried, since I just walked in on my fucking girlfriend straddling my brother’s lap.”

  Zee lunged for him. Mark fumbled back, killing the call and throwing his phone against the wall.

  “What the hell, asshole?” Zee gritted.

  Mark laughed. It was this senseless, hopeless sound as he stared back at Zee. “You’re asking that of me? When I just walked in on you rubbing your dick all over my girl? How fucked up is that?”

  Zee tore at his hair. “I wasn’t…I wouldn’t…”

  “We weren’t doing anything.” Incredulous, Veronica shook her head, eyes wide as her attention darted between them. Like she was the victim and hadn’t been the one to set off a bomb.

  “I heard your brother getting sick, and I came in to make sure he was okay. He was getting ready to fall over, so I was helping him sit up. That’s it.”

  Confusion pulsed through Zee’s brain. Was that it? All she’d done?

  Fuck. He didn’t know.

  The only thing he knew was he shouldn’t have come. This was stupid and reckless and foolish. Not to mention the fact his brother had just thrown him under the bus.

  Zee squeezed his eyes tight, fear tremoring through his body. “Julie.”

  “Julie,” Zee begged, right behind her as she tossed a suitcase onto their bed.

  Tears streamed down her face, her fingers shaking and frantic as she started yanking clothes from the closet and shoving them in.

  “Julie…shit…shit. I’m so fucking sorry. I didn’t do anything. I promise you, I didn’t do anything. I wouldn’t touch her.”

  Bitter laughter poured through her tears. “You didn’t do anything? I wake up at four in the morning and you’re gone, at a party, doing God knows what, and you didn’t do anything?”

  Her face pinched in grief, and Zee’s insides twisted in agony.

  “I told you I didn’t want any part of that life.” Sadness poured through her whisper.

  “I love you, Julie…fuck, I love you so much. I’ll do anything. Anything.”

  Slowly, her head shook. “You already promised that. And if I can’t trust you, then we don’t have anything.” Her expression grew somber. “And I don’t trust you.”

  She quickly turned away and zipped the suitcase, wiping at her eyes as she dragged it from the bed and headed for the bedroom door.

  Anguish gripped every cell in Zee’s body, fear and horror and regret. “No…no…no…no…” he begged, chasing her out through the small living room. He grabbed her by the wrist, pressed it to his mouth. “Please.”

  She yanked it free, her own misery pouring down her face. “Let me go.”

  She pulled open the door and rushed out into the awakening day, the dusky sky grayed with morning’s light.

  “Julie,” he pled.

  She didn’t turn around.

  Zee dropped to his knees.

  In the parking lot below, Julie’s car rumbled to a start, and Zee swore he felt his heart crack when she backed out and drove away.

  Chapter Forty-Four

  Zee

  “Alexis, come on…please pick up the phone. I need to talk to you, explain what you rolled up on earlier today.” I sighed before I dropped my voice and begged into the phone, “Most of all, I need to know you’re okay. Just…call me back.”

  It was the third call I’d made to her. The third one she hadn’t answered. I didn’t blame her. I could only imagine what she was feeling.

  I knew she had to be shocked.

  I was feeling a whole lot of it myself. Trying to make everything add up and wondering what the fuck Veronica had gotten herself into.

  My gaze wandered to where he was on his belly on the rug, doodling on a notepad with some markers I’d found him.

  I contemplated.

  Today had been hell for him, and I hated adding even an ounce of anxiety to what had already gone down. But I couldn’t shake this feeling that rattled my bones.

  Intuition.

  Dread.

  Before I could change my mind, I made the call. She answered on the first ring.

  “Shea, I need your help.”

  I climbed down onto my hands and knees beside him. “Hey, buddy, what do you think about going to one of my best friend’s houses and playing with their kids? They have a big backyard with a swing set.”

  Liam’s eyes lit up. “Really?”

  “Yeah. And one of those kids, his name is Connor, and he has a super cool room that’s decorated with superheroes, and he has all kinds of superhero toys. I bet he would let you play with him.”

  “Superheroes are my favorite.” He whispered it like it was a secret.

  I ruffled a hand through his hair. “I know they are. We’re gonna have to get you some for around here, aren’t we?”

  He nodded emphatically. “Uh-huh. ’cuz all my superheroes that you brought me are back at Mommy’s house and I don’t have any here.”

  Could feel the emotion clawing at my chest, the turmoil rising up from my spirit and gnawing at my being.

  I stood and picked him up, knowing he wasn’t a baby. In that moment, none of that mattered. I needed to hold him. Let him know he was safe.

  “How would you like it if you and me got one of those big houses with a big backyard? Just like my friends Shea and Sebastian have for their kids?”

  His little arms held around my neck as he tilted his head back to look toward the expansive ceiling of the loft. “You’re house is already way, way big.”

  A chuckle rumbled free. “But not the right kind of big. Think we need to have some place where you can run and stretch out those legs. Where you and I can go out back and toss a baseball. How’s that sound?”

  He squealed and squeezed my neck. “That sounds so good. I like that.”

  Excitement blazed in his eyes. “Does that mean I get to stay with you?”

  “That’s what I’m hoping. What do you think about that? Staying with me?” I rubbed a tender hand over his head when I asked it.

  “I think that’s the best idea ever. But what about mommy?”

  A heavy sigh pushed from my lungs. “I’m not sure about your mommy right now, buddy.”

  Sadness and confusion hit him. I could feel it. This uneasiness that shivered through his little body. I held him a little closer, my voice dipping with emphasis. “You know you can tell me anything, right?”

  He buried his face in my neck, and he nodded.

  “Is there anything you want to tell me?”

  His voice came out a whisper. “I don’t like our new house.”

  I swayed him a little. Offering comfort. For both of us. “I don’t like that house, either. That’s why I brought you here…because I don’t think that apartment is a good place for you. I would’ve brought you here earlier if I’d known it wasn’t a safe place. You know that, right? That I won’t let anything bad happen to you? That I’ll keep you safe?”

  He nodded again.

  “Has anyone…hurt you there?”

  His little shoulders scrunched up. Instantly, a ball of rage consumed me, threatening to burst, wondering exactly who I was gonna have to track down and kill.

  “No…but sometimes people there are so, so mad.”

  “Who?”

  “The man…he yells at Mommy. When he comes, Mommy tells me to go to my room and stay in there.”

  I kissed his temple, running my hand down his back.

  That might have been the only good idea Veronica had ever had.

  “All right, let’s go meet my friends. I’m going to leave you there, but just for a little bit, okay? I won’t be gone long. I just have some really important stuff I have to take care of
, and when I’m finished, we’ll go do something super fun. Sound good?”

  “I like that idea.”

  “Me, too, buddy. Me, too.”

  Chapter Forty-Five

  Zee ~ Twenty Years Old

  “Need you, Zee. Please, man, you’ve got to listen to me. Told you I’d gotten myself in too deep. I don’t know how I’m gonna fix this. They fucking know, they fucking know. I shouldn’t have said anything, but how could I not?” Paranoia bled through Mark’s tone.

  Zee tried not to crush the phone in his hand as he pressed it tighter against his ear. Anger whirled around him like a windstorm. Howling and hot.

  His teeth ground. “You really have the nerve to call me? After what you did? Because of you, I lost her. She’s gone. Julie’s gone.”

  Everything tightened and squeezed, and Zee couldn’t breathe.

  “I’m sorry. I fucked up, I know. I’d do anything to take it back.”

  Zee choked out sour laughter. “Yeah, funny how I told her the same damn thing. Guess both of us learned the hard way there are some things you can’t take back.”

  Marked stumbled over a sob. “Zee…I’m…I’m scared, okay? I need your help.”

  A rise of disquiet bristled through Zee’s veins, that constant sympathy at odds with the hostility that flamed in his nerves. “And what is it you expect me to do?”

  Zee heard Mark’s hesitation. It was no match for his desperation. “Need money…fifty grand.”

  Zee laughed a hollow, disbelieving sound. He was so sick of this bullshit. So sick. So done. So hurt.

  He could feel it all spiraling down around him. “Yeah, and I need my girlfriend back. Don’t see either of those things happening any time soon.”

  Sitting alone in the vacancy of his darkened apartment, Zee tossed back another swig.

  The bottle he’d cracked open thirty minutes before was half-empty, the dark, dark fluid sloshing down the sides as he attempted to balance it on his knee.