The Hollow Inside

by Brooke Lauren Davis

  Tell the truth.

  If he had any doubts before, he has to know now.

  She’s back. And she’s not leaving him alone until he gives her what she wants.

  And he knows exactly what she wants. What she’s always wanted.

  Melody isn’t holding back now, sobbing hard, eyes pressed to my collarbone, her arms tight around me and her fingers digging into the small of my back. I pat her between the shoulders to a steady rhythm and rock her back and forth like she’s a child I’m trying to put to sleep.

  The blood is already soaking through the bandage on Jill’s forehead. Neil pulls a chair up beside her, holding a pair of tweezers, and sets to work on picking tiny grains of glass from the cuts on her palms. “I’m sorry,” he says every time she flinches, his face wet and his voice thick. Like this is all his fault.

  Jill keeps her lips pressed tight against the pain, only opening them long enough to reassure him, “I’m okay.”

  Nothing is going to stop me from ruining Ellis Bowman’s life. But watching his wife and his son and feeling the way his daughter’s whole body shivers against mine, I wish I could do it without ruining anyone else.

  In the time since Nina’s father had sent her away to have her baby, the Bowmans had moved. She went to their old house first, on Mattie, and found it inhabited by a new family. But she knew exactly where to look next. Ellis had always told her it was his dream to rebuild in the same exact spot where Will Jasper’s house had been, before it burnt down.

  “Mr. Jasper’s always been an inspiration to me,” he told her once while they were talking over book edits at the restaurant after hours. “He built a whole town from nothing. He made himself into what he wanted to be, whatever it took.” He’d tilted his head toward the tall restaurant windows, to the Circle and Harriet’s Oak and the mountains. “And what a beautiful life he made.”

  Nina chugged up Clara Mountain in her aunt’s rust-colored Pinto. She’d left Bailey with her aunt and uncle for the afternoon, telling them she was spending her day at the library to study for a history test.

  Honestly, she was failing all her classes at this point. Even art. It was hard to focus on things like formulas and poems, things that hardly seemed real to her, when the life in front of her eyes was collapsing.

  She knocked on the front door of the Bowmans’ new house, the paint so fresh that she was surprised it didn’t turn her knuckles poppy red.

  Jill looked startled when she opened it, but she recovered quickly, squeezing Nina in a quick hug and waving her inside. “Ellis is getting ready to leave on a little business trip,” she said, leading her to the kitchen. “They’re interviewing him at a radio station in Columbus. Can you believe it? Who knew one little book could get so much attention?”

  The twins were on a blanket on the kitchen floor, bigger now, hitting each other with stuffed animals. Both of them looked more like Ellis than Bailey did, with their yellow hair curling around their plump cheeks.

  Jill was pouring Nina a glass of lemonade and asking her questions about her baby when Ellis walked in, pulling on his suit jacket. His hair was still wet from the shower, and he took a long drink of the coffee that Jill handed him.

  “Have you seen my—” he started to say to his wife. But then he saw Nina sitting at his kitchen table and dropped his mug.

  He caught it before it hit the floor, but he yelped, hot coffee scorching his hands, and dropped it again. It shattered, and the twins squealed with delight, like he’d done it just for them.

  Jill rushed to soak a rag in cold water and wrap it around his hands. “Are you okay?”

  “I’m fine.”

  Nina had been so angry since she’d talked to Jill on the phone, she didn’t know if she’d even be able to form words when she saw Ellis. But now, she found a cold calm inside her, and she said, “I came to talk to Ellis about my father. Alone.”

  “Of course,” Jill said, even though Nina had been telling, not asking.

  Ellis nodded for a moment, chewing on the inside of his cheek. Not looking at Nina. But he clearly couldn’t think of a way out of it, so he walked to his office without a word, and Nina followed.

  He shut the door behind her and let out a deep breath. “Nina—”

  “Don’t. Just shut up.”

  To her surprise, he did.

  He looked down at her with his big, blue eyes, and for a moment, she faltered. But then she said, “You’re going to go to my father’s house right now, and you’re going to tell him the truth.”

  Ellis shook his head. “I don’t see how that’s going to—”

  “It’s the only way he’ll let me come home. If he knows it wasn’t Jameson. You’re his favorite person in the whole world.” Her voice wavered when she said it, but they both knew it was the truth. “If he knows that we did this together, maybe he’ll think about forgiving us both.”

  “Maybe,” he said. “But maybe not. Maybe you’re trying to make me destroy my family for no reason. Have you thought of that?”

  She clenched her jaw. “This isn’t all my fault. You were part of it, too.”

  “Nina—”

  “Does Dad still invite you over for chili every Wednesday night?” she asked quietly. “You sit in the backyard, don’t you? Right under the shade tree, at the picnic table.”

  He ran both hands through his curls so hard, it looked like he’d pull them out.

  “While I’m stuck at a house with people I hardly know, going to school with strangers. Raising our—”

  He coughed to cover up the last word.

  “You know I can’t tell him,” he said.

  “Why not?”

  “Because he’ll be out for blood, Nina. I don’t care how much you think he likes me. He’ll ruin me.”

  “He wouldn’t,” Nina argued.

  “You should hear the things he’s saying to everyone about Jameson. He’s convinced the whole town to freeze him out. And Jameson’s not even married. Doesn’t have children. Isn’t twelve years older than you. I’ve been to your house so many times to beg him to stop, and he won’t listen.”

  “And you don’t feel bad letting your brother take the fall for what you did?”

  “Of course I feel bad. But he doesn’t have half as much to lose as I do. If your father finds out I was involved, there won’t be any way of talking him out of it. My reputation will be destroyed. The restaurant will fail. The book will tank. I’ve got two kids to feed, Nina. Even if Jill gets her job back at the bakery, do you really think that’ll be enough? And do you think—”

  He choked on the words and had to start again.

  “Do you think she’d ever speak to me again? Do you think I’d have a family, after everything’s said and done? I just don’t think you understand what you’re doing, Nina. I really don’t, or you wouldn’t be asking this of me.”

  “You already took my family from me,” she said.

  “Jesus. Wake up, Nina. You’re better off without Mason. He’s a controlling, judgmental son of a bitch, too saintly for anybody to please. All right? You needed to get away from him anyhow.”

  Her hands curled into fists. “Don’t talk about him like that.”

  “Move on. Take the baby and get as far from Jasper Hollow as you can and start over.”

  “He’s my father. I need him to know the truth.”

  Ellis’s brow furrowed. He looked into her face for a long moment, like he felt sorry for her. Like she was a backwoods lunatic. Like he didn’t owe her a damn thing.

  “I’m not telling him.”

  “Then I’ll walk out that door and tell everybody in the Circle.”

  Ellis fell into his office chair with a sigh. “Nobody will believe you.”

  “They will after you take a paternity test.”

  “And why the hell would I do that?”

  “Because I can ask a court to make you do it, if that’s what I want.”

  Ellis’s fidgeting hands froze in his hair. He looked up at her to see if sh
e was bluffing, but it was true. She’d looked it up on a computer in the library.

  He dropped his hands into his lap and looked away from her, out the window. “I need to think about this.”

  But she knew he was only saying that to make her go away. If she gave him more time to think, he’d find a way out of it. So she stood in front of his office door with her arms crossed over her chest, caging him in. She made herself stand very tall, the way her father always told her to do when she sang in church. If you want people to listen to you, really listen to you, you have to look like a force to be reckoned with. Even if you don’t feel like one.

  Jill knocked on the office door and told Ellis he was going to be late for his interview. But he didn’t answer, and she went away.

  “Fine,” he said finally, his voice rough, like she’d strangled the word out of him. “But you need to give me time to talk to my wife about it first. I don’t want her to find out from anybody but me.”

  “Tell me when you’ll talk to him. Exactly when.”

  “Jesus,” he said, clutching his head between his hands, speaking to his lap. “I’ll tell Jill everything when I get back tonight. I’ll speak to your father in the morning. If that’s what you really want.”

  Nina nodded. She kept standing very straight, even though her knees wanted to buckle.

  Tomorrow. She was going home tomorrow.

  Chapter 30

  WHILE MELODY AND I sweep glass off the floor and Neil and Jill duct tape a blue, plastic tarp over the gap where the kitchen window used to be, Ellis shuts himself up in his office. I hear the click of the lock behind him.

  I linger in the doorway of the kitchen, the one closest to his office, and I can just make out his harried whispers. “Jameson, I know you’re there. Pick up the goddamn phone.”

  Pause. Nervous knuckles rapping on his oak wood desk.

  “Jameson.”

  The phone slams against the table. Ellis growls, probably racking his hands through his pretty curls.

  He dials the number again. Waits.

  He thinks Jameson is ignoring him. But I know better. The phone is ringing in an empty house.

  “I’m not messing around, little brother. I’ve tolerated you thinking you could hold this thing over my head long enough. You don’t have any power over me. Do you hear me? You don’t want to play this game with me. You’ll lose.”

  He’s trying to delude himself into thinking that this is a prank Jameson is playing on him. That the girl he knew wouldn’t be capable of something like this. But I know he doesn’t really believe that.

  He dials again. Mutters curses that I’m certain he’d never use in public. Fear has a way of corroding people down to their cores—to the truth of them.

  Something slams against the office wall so hard, the house rattles.

  “Honey?” Jill calls.

  When he answers, he’s restrained his fury just enough to sound normal. “I’m—I’m all right, sweetheart. Everything is all right.”

  A few minutes later, he storms through the kitchen, glass crunching under his shiny leather shoes, and hurries out the door, toward his car. Jill tries to run after him. “Ellis? Where are you going?”

  He only pauses long enough to call back to her, “Don’t tell anyone about this until I get back.”

  “But shouldn’t I call—”

  “No police,” he says. A little too forcefully. Police would ask too many questions. Police would dig up secrets.

  He swallows before he adds, “I don’t think it’s necessary yet. It was probably just a bad joke. I think—well, I know Jameson’s still pissed at me about not inviting him to dinner, and I wouldn’t put something like this past him. Don’t call anyone until I talk to him.”

  “But what if—”

  But Ellis has already ducked into the car and slammed the door. He peels out of the driveway and disappears down the mountain.

  -

  Ellis isn’t home for dinner. We eat sitting on the living room floor, leaning our elbows on the low coffee table.

  It’s subtle, but I notice all of them glance at the windows every so often. I didn’t realize until now that there are so many, giving us a view of the light dimming over the mountains, muting the colors like a veil.

  Melody watches the table, like she knows something she isn’t saying. But even if she has a guess about who’s really responsible, there’s no way it’s the right one.

  We wash the dishes after dinner, and Neil makes sure the tarp he put over the broken window is still secure. By full dark, Ellis still isn’t home.

  When I slip off to bed, Jill is pacing the living room, calling Ellis over and over again, leaving him messages. “I’m worried, Ellis. Even if it was Jameson, he really could have hurt someone. If you aren’t home by midnight, I’m calling the police.”

  I slide my window open, waiting for Mom to come. I know she’ll want to talk. But when I stop to listen, I hear something that makes me freeze.

  Someone’s cell phone ringing.

  And then Ellis’s soft curses as he picks his way through the dark woods. “Dammit, Jill.” He pushes a button, and the rings go silent.

  He must not have been able to find Jameson. So now he’s searching the woods for Mom.

  I kneel in front of the open window, mostly out of sight, and peer over the ledge to watch him stumbling through the trees that rock and hiss with the wind.

  He looks like a man half-wild, his hair sticking up like he’s been pulling it, his expensive shoes caked in mud, his shirt untucked and torn open at the collar, his voice a scratch against the wall of shadowy trees. “Nina. Nina.”

  He stares into the twined branches, which look like a maze of claws and teeth. If Mom hides inside it, she doesn’t answer.

  “Come on. Come talk to me.”

  The woods regard him coldly.

  “I know you’re here,” he growls. “You wanted me to know, didn’t you?” He throws his arms wide. “So come out and talk to me. Tell me what you want.”

  He knows what she wants—the truth.

  “I can help you,” he says. He ventures farther into the trees, reaching through the black like he’ll snatch her by the hair and drag her into the glow of the house’s lights. But he keeps his voice as soft as a lover’s. “We can keep all this between us. I’m not mad. You know I’d never be mad at you. I just don’t want to hurt Jill. I know you don’t want to hurt her; she was always so good to you. Come on, Nina. Please. Just let me help you.”

  She won’t risk talking to him, even if she wants to. But Ellis and I wait for an answer.

  He listens for a full minute, walking deeper into the woods with the same terrifying quiet of a snake before it strikes.

  Then he takes off into the shadows. He must have heard something. I push the window open further and grip the frame, listening hard, trying to decide whether or not I should run after him.

  A few minutes later, I hear a cry, and I almost throw myself toward it. But the voice isn’t Mom’s. Ellis curses, emerging from the trees alone. “Goddammit, Nina!” He slams his fist into a tree, once, twice, then presses his forehead to the trunk and moans.

  A strong wind sweeps over Clara Mountain, the leaves and branches churning into a frenzy of sound. The gust catches a shovel leaning against the house, near my window, knocking it over with a clatter.

  Ellis whips his head around in my direction, and I dive out of sight, skitter across the floor, and slip into bed.

  Did he see me?

  I close my eyes and listen.

  Heavy footsteps approach the open window, twigs snapping like little bones in their wake.

  I make my breathing slow and deep. And no matter how much I want to, I don’t let my eyelids flutter to steal a look at his face. I wonder if this is the moment—when he’ll finally figure out that I am part of his problem.

  And I know what Ellis does to his problems.

  But after a few tense, silent moments, his phone rings again. And this time, he an
swers it.

  “David?” he says. A name I don’t know.

  I hear his footsteps retreating from my window. Faintly, I catch him saying, “I’ll be right there.” And then he’s too far away to hear.

  I can’t seem to make myself open my eyes—I’m trapped inside myself, my heart ricocheting in my rib cage, my whole body shaking under the covers.

  It takes me an hour to calm down, but not enough to fall asleep. So I just lie there, still waiting for a dream to steal me away or to wake up and realize that this world was the nightmare all along.

  Then I hear a voice at the window that makes my eyes snap back open.

  “Phoenix.”

  I bound out of bed. “You can’t be here. He’s looking for you. You need to hide.”

  Mom shakes her head, completely calm. “Phoenix. Do you trust me or not? Do I need to keep explaining myself to you?”

  I bite my tongue.

  “You have to keep it together. All right? Can you do that?”

  I nod.

  She wants to know how the Bowmans reacted to the chaos she—we—created. I tell her that even though Ellis suspects her, he did his best to convince his family that it was a prank Jameson was playing on them. I say that they’re all still on edge.

  “No one got hurt,” I add.

  Her face is blank again. I can’t tell how she feels about that information. At best, she’s trying to stay focused. At worst, she doesn’t care.

  “I’m working on the next part of the plan,” she says. “I’ll let you know when it’s ready.”

  “It?”

  Then I hear the front door open. Ellis’s voice echoes through the house. “Jill?” he says. “Jill?”

  His voice sounds off. Something is wrong.

  Mom smiles a smile so chilling, I flinch away from her. And without another word, she turns and runs.

  I make myself walk slowly to the living room. Jill is already there, gripping her husband’s arms. “What is it? What’s happened?”

  I see Jill sweep her gaze over the room—over Melody in the kitchen doorway and Neil coming down the stairs and even me standing behind her. Taking inventory, making sure the important things are safe.