An Earl for the Broken-Hearted Duchess

by Lucinda Nelson

  Nathaniel tried to shake off his suspicious thoughts, but the questions poured from his mouth. “And this upsets you so? I suppose he is a very dear friend.” His voice was a little stiff as he spoke, but Margaret did not seem to notice.

  She seemed lost in herself. Closed off. And considering the welcome he’d been expecting, it made his heart hurt to find her so taken aback by his arrival.

  “I will miss him,” she acknowledged, albeit a little dismissively.

  Then, she folded herself into his arms and sighed into his chest.

  The breath shuddered out of him and he wrapped his arms around her tightly. “I have missed you,” he admitted and lay his cheek upon the top of her head. It was so easy to forget his concerns when she touched him.

  She sniffled. “I have missed you too.”

  He smiled a little, feeling his suspicion waver as the warmth of her affection encompassed him. How could he doubt her when there was so much heat between them?

  So much tenderness and respect that he could feel it like a tangible thing?

  “Why have you come so early?” she asked. “Did London not go well?”

  Nathaniel recalled his last few moments with the Duke, who had not been happy with the scene Nathaniel had caused at the ball.

  But he wouldn’t tell her about that. He only shrugged and said, “I do not think I am his sort of gentleman.”

  “Then he is a madman,” Margaret murmured, her voice muffled by the folds of his shirt. She was holding to him so tightly, as though she was in desperate need of support. As if her knees were about to give out.

  “I wish I could ask you never to leave again.”

  He smiled to himself. “You can ask that of me.”

  She smiled too. “You would not be able to promise me such a thing.”

  Nathaniel sighed softly. “I should not promise it, but I think that I would if you asked me.”

  “And hold to that promise?”

  “Entirely.”

  She smiled wider, her sadness seeming to flutter away. “Just as you should not promise it, I should not ask it of you.”

  Nathaniel pressed his lips into the warm nest of her hair and closed his eyes. He’d missed the scent of her almost as much as he’d missed her smile.

  “How you soothe me,” he whispered, ever so quietly.

  Margaret lifted her head from his chest so that she could look up at him. She touched his face softly. “Do you need soothing, Nathaniel?”

  He knew how he must look. Tired and downtrodden. He’d gone to London in hopes of securing patronage for the town. Instead, he’d lost his temper and made a scene. The Duke wasn’t likely to grace Comptonshire with his patronage now.

  “Perhaps a little,” he admitted. Something he would only admit to Margaret when they were alone.

  She cupped his face between her hands and kissed his forehead as if he were a child. “Did you need the Duke’s patronage terribly?” Margaret murmured against his skin.

  Nathaniel expelled a slow breath. “I wish I could fund the whole of Comptonshire myself, but it is not so simple as that. I don’t have the funds to tackle such an endeavor alone.”

  He knew that it wasn’t good etiquette to speak to a lady of financial matters, but Nathaniel didn’t much care. He didn’t trust anyone so much as he trusted Margaret.

  He closed his eyes and let her soothe him. Simply enjoying the sensation of her touching his cheeks and pushing her fingers through his hair in slow, methodical strokes.

  “You have not asked me for my patronage. I may not be a Duke, but I have the financial capacity of one.”

  Nathaniel opened his eyes and looked down at her. He’d never thought to ask Margaret. And he did not think to now. He shook his head with conviction. “I will not mix business with our relationship, Margaret.”

  “Do you not think our relationship could bear the strain?” She asked, with a kind smile.

  “I think my affection for you could bear anything,” he admitted. “It is yours that concerns me.”

  She blinked. “Do you doubt my affection?” She sounded hurt.

  He touched his fingertips to her jaw and followed the smooth glide of it. “No, my darling, I do not doubt it. But I will not risk it either. And what will people say if you do indeed grace the town with your patronage? They will think me a manipulative scoundrel.”

  He did not say what they would think of her if she was found to be financing her lover’s endeavors. It was a scandal waiting to happen and he did not think they could manage facing another one.

  Margaret looked as if she wanted to press the matter. Her lips pursed, then slackened as she shook her head. “I do not want to speak of business tonight, my darling.”

  Darling.

  He did not think she’d ever called him that before.

  “Am I your darling?” he said, with a suddenly playful smile.

  She smiled with equal mirth and softly batted at his chest. “You are teasing me.”

  Oh, how he adored her.

  Nathaniel found himself glancing down at her lips. Though they’d slipped from time to time since she’d made him promise not to kiss her, they’d mostly managed to avoid such intimate expressions of their affection. Somehow.

  But now, after being without her for four days, he did not think he could resist. He did not want to resist.

  Margaret seemed to have the same thing in mind. So much so that he wasn’t sure who kissed who. They met in the middle, in a soft, needful kiss.

  Chapter 23

  Lady Margaret Abigail Baxter, Duchess of Lowe

  Tessa came in the morning. Margaret had been so caught up in all that happened – William’s confession, Nathaniel’s surprise visit – that she’d forgotten what Tessa had seen entirely. A man kissing her.

  “Oh cousin,” Margaret said as Tessa took a seat. She was smiling at Margaret sympathetically. “I am so glad that you have come. So I can explain.”

  “What is there to explain?” Tessa asked.

  “The gentleman I was with…”

  “Your beloved Earl. We met for an instant the last time I was here, before I had to hurry off. You will forgive me for that, I’m sure. But my dear I cannot begrudge you for sharing an intimate moment in your own home.”

  Margaret’s cheeks became red. “No… No, you see he isn’t my Earl.”

  At this, Tessa looked entirely thrilled. She leaned forward in her seat as if they discovered the truth of some great mystery. She looked almost entertained. “Oh, you must tell me all! Who is this gentleman?”

  “He is a friend of mine.”

  “He did not look so friendly last night,” she remarked, with an amused smile.

  “Yes, well, that is just it. He came to tell me that he did not want to be my friend anymore.”

  “He wanted more.”

  Margaret nodded.

  “But you said no? For the sake of your Earl?”

  Again, she nodded, but after a moment of stillness.

  “You must be quite in love then,” Tessa continued. “After all, your friend is a handsome man. And he must be very dear to you.”

  “He is. Both handsome and kind. But only a friend. The dearest of them.”

  “You must tell me then,” Tessa said, with her chin propped on her hand. “Who is this earl that has captured your heart so entirely?”

  “Did I not give you his name?” Margaret asked, with a frown. The last time Tessa had visited, she’d been so excited to find someone to speak to about Nathaniel that she’d told her everything. Everything except his name. “Lord Sterling.”

  Margaret watched Tessa’s expression freeze, then go white. “Lord Nathaniel Sterling?”

  Margaret’s brow crinkled. Her cousin’s tone was strange. “Yes, that’s right.”

  “Oh.”

  “Oh? Do you know of him?”

  Tessa’s hands began to twitch in her lap. “Oh, not well. Not well in the least. Only, we met when we were quite young and my husband’s family knows of
him, you see.” She spoke with a bit of awkwardness in her voice, which began to make Margaret uneasy.

  “Then you know him to be a good man?”

  Tessa did not answer. Only shifted in her seat.

  “Cousin,” she pressed, until at last Tessa spoke.

  “I do not think it is my place to say,” she said.

  “Please, you must tell me.” Margaret’s stomach was doing uncomfortable flips. Something was wrong. Awfully wrong. And she needed to know more than she needed her next breath, because naivety had cost her before.

  Tessa hesitated for a moment longer, before making the truth known.

  “My husband has spoken of Lord Sterling often, as he knows that I knew him in my youth. I was very fond of him, I will admit, until we reached adolescence. It was then that he started to womanize. He became so known for his antics within just a few months and from then on my family forbade me from spending any time with him.”

  She took a breath, then went on. “As a man, he has become better at maintaining a fairly honorable reputation. Which, of course, suits his purposes. My husband tells me that at this time he has made a lover of a lovely young teacher who works at the local schoolhouse.

  He doesn’t have any intention of marrying her, of course. The girl is just a bit of entertainment for him. But she is quite smitten, as any girl without a position would be if an earl took an interest in them. He has even funded the schoolhouse, in an effort to woo her.”

  Margaret did not speak. Did not think. Every ounce of sense or reason fled from her and she only gazed at her cousin.

  “Cousin?” Tessa whispered, with puckered brows. She reached out to her and touched her hand. Margaret blinked rapidly at the touch, as though snapped out of some awful nightmare.

  “Miss Wilde,” Margaret said.

  “Pardon?”

  “Miss Wilde. Is that the name of the teacher?”

  Tessa nodded sadly. “I’m afraid so. Do you know of her?”

  Margaret’s eyes were filling with tears. She nodded. “A lovely girl.”

  “Yes, quite lovely, poor thing. Only naïve.”

  Again, Margaret said nothing. This time, Tessa didn’t press her to say more. After several moments, Tessa stood with an expression of such deep sadness on her face. “I am so sorry to have been the one to bring you this news, my darling. I wanted so much better for you. You have had enough heartbreak.” She squeezed Margaret’s shoulder. “I will give you some space,” she concluded.

  Tessa released her and left quietly.

  ***

  Lord Nathaniel Sterling, Earl of Comptonshire

  Since his return from London, Nathaniel was desperate to spend some quality time with Margaret and Ezra. He arranged for them to see the travelling circus one afternoon and hoped to surprise them.

  He turned up at her estate just after noon, but when he saw Margaret in the drawing room she did not look especially keen to see him.

  “Good day, Margaret,” he said and smiled at her.

  She smiled in return, but there was something odd about her countenance. She looked almost dazed. He frowned and said, “Are you feeling alright?”

  “Yes. Were you here to see Ezra?”

  A queer question. He tilted his head to the side a little, with a perplexed expression. “I have. And you, of course. Unless you would rather not see me?” He said this with a smile that was full of mirth, but she did not return it.

  “No,” she said. “Of course, I would like to spend the day with you too.”

  Her voice sounded so… empty. Before he could remark that she was behaving strangely, Ezra ran inside to see him. Nathaniel greeted him with a smile. “I have a surprise for you both,” Nathaniel said.

  The carriage was waiting for them outside. It was only a short ride to the circus, but it felt longer because Margaret was ever so quiet.

  Each time he tried to engage her in conversation, she would give him a one or two word answer and stare out of the window, watching the trees pass.

  He touched her hand against the seat while Ezra wasn’t looking, but her hand felt cold and still. She did not twine their fingers. She did not even give him any indication that she’d felt his touch.

  He wondered if she was sick, but did not want to ask her in front of Ezra, lest it worry him.

  When they reached the circus and Ezra saw the tents, he gasped and gawped at Nathaniel. “A circus!” he cried. “Mother, look, a circus! We’re going to the circus!”

  Margaret smiled at him. Nathaniel was watching her face, hoping for some indication that she was pleased. He so wanted to please her. But all she said was, “Thank you. You have made him very happy.”

  And what of her?

  The show did seem to engage her, at least a little. The animals fascinated her and her eyes lit up when the contortionist performed.

  Occasionally, she would suck in a breath and grip hold of his hand, particularly when the tight rope walker took to the stage.

  At the end of the show, she was smiling and talking to Ezra about what he’d liked most. The boy would not stop talking and Nathaniel was glad of it. He loved to see Ezra so happy.

  By the time the show was finished, it was getting rather late. Ezra was tired from all the excitement and slept in the carriage, which left Nathaniel with the opportunity to speak to Margaret privately.

  “Are you sure you are well?” he asked, in a whisper.

  Margaret nodded. “Of course.”

  Nathaniel reached across the carriage to touch her hand. To make her look at him. At last, their eyes met. “You have not looked at me all day,” he remarked, with a pucker between his brows.

  “I am sorry,” she said, after a moment. “I have not slept well.”

  She offered him an unsteady smile and squeezed his hand to reassure him. The touch was enough to convince him that she was being honest. He smiled a little. “You must sleep early tonight then. I will leave you promptly,” he assured her.

  And so he did. Once they arrived at the estate, she did not ask him to stay and Nathaniel kept his word. But before he left, he said, “Shall I see you tomorrow?”

  He didn’t usually ask. He didn’t usually need to. They saw each other every day, but on this occasion he felt that he needed her approval.

  “Perhaps not tomorrow,” Margaret said, which made Nathaniel blink in surprise. “Only, I was hoping to have a private word with Ezra tomorrow. And spend some time with him alone.”

  “Oh,” Nathaniel said, before catching himself. “Yes. Yes, of course.”

  He kissed her on the forehead and took his leave with a heavy heart. He felt strangely distant from her. As if he hadn’t come back from London at all.

  Chapter 24

  Lady Margaret Abigail Baxter, Duchess of Lowe

  Margaret had needed time to assess what she was feeling and even more time to figure out what she was going to do with the information Tessa had given her. There were so many questions to ask herself.

  The most important questions of all being, was it all true? Could it be rumour? And what would she do if it was true? It was more than her heart at stake in this matter. It was Ezra’s heart too.

  The circus was too much, too soon. Margaret had meant to send word to Nathaniel that he needn’t come that day, but he’d arrived just minutes after Tessa had left. Margaret hadn’t been able to muster the strength to say no to his proposition of going out together, not when she felt so raw and confused.

  She knew that she did not hide it well that day, but didn’t have the emotional energy to care.

  She felt as if her heart was cracked and on the verge of being broken. It was frightening. A feeling she’d hoped never to experience again.

  When Nathaniel left her that evening, she’d said that she wanted the next day to herself, so that she could have some time alone with Ezra. The truth was that she needed time away from Nathaniel.

  He made her mind feel weak and fuzzy. When he’d put his hand on hers in the carriage, tears had pri
cked at her eyes.

  She felt like fate was teasing her, by dangling something that couldn’t be hers as bait.

  The next day, she promised herself she would spend it inside with Ezra. Just the two of them. But it did not go quite as planned.