“He was cheating on you?”
“He says it wasn’t cheating. I guess he just doesn’t want to be exclusive. Which…whatever, ya know? I just…I didn’t realize it.” She looked back up at him, studying his deep brown eyes and trying to judge his expression. Did he think she was ridiculous? Did he think she was being childish? Did he think she was wasting his time?
His hand was back on her arm, interrupting her thoughts. “He’s an idiot.”
“W-what?” she asked, his statement catching her off guard and causing a laugh to erupt from her throat.
“Blythe, look, the guy’s obviously an idiot. If he had the chance to be with you and he threw that all away for someone else—for anyone else—then he’s not worthy of any of this.”
She rolled her eyes. “You’re being sweet. Thank you for saying that.”
“I’m being honest.”
“Was I stupid? I mean, should I have known that it wasn’t exclusive? He never said it was. He never said anything.”
“You aren’t stupid, Blythe. This isn’t your fault.”
“I just…I know the cool thing right now, for whatever reason, is to act like I don’t care a thing about finding love. People our age are supposed to be tough and independent and think that love is the last thing on our mind because we’d rather run away from it than ever get hurt. It’s what every song is about, and all the best movies. I get it. I really, really do. But I don’t care about that. Because I do care about love. I’d rather be hurt a thousand times than give up on the idea of finding love and being truly happy. You know? That’s not me. I don’t care if it makes me seem desperate. What is the point of all of this heartbreak and loneliness? What is the point of even living if we aren’t out there looking for an eventual happily ever after?” She let out a heavy breath, exhausted from speaking for so long without air. “I know that’s not what guys want to hear—”
“Stop,” he told her. “Stop making excuses for how you feel, Blythe. You’re allowed to want what you want. Plain and simple. If this guy couldn’t give you what you want, someone else will.”
She offered him a sad smile. It hadn’t gone over her head that his hand was off of her arm once again. Someone else would make her happy. But not Asher. Not Finn. She’d freaked him out. She’d released her full crazy, and he was officially terrified. She could see it in his eyes.
“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t be venting this all to you,” she said with exhaustion. “I don’t even know why I’m here.”
He walked past her toward the kitchen area, and she spun around watching him open the fridge and pull out one beer, and then another. “Well, as long as you’re here, we may as well have a good time.”
She took the beer from his hand after he opened it. “Thank you.”
He nodded as he twisted his own top off, taking a drink and sucking the liquid from his upper lip. “No problem. When you were here before, I told you you could come back anytime you needed.” He tipped his head toward her. “I meant that.”
“I didn’t think I’d need to come back.”
He took another slow drink. “I hoped you would.”
“I didn’t mean to interrupt your date.”
“It wasn’t a date, Blythe. She was just a girl.”
“So…not exclusive, right?” she asked, suddenly feeling bad for the woman who’d left. It was obvious they were going to sleep together, if they hadn’t already. Had she put that poor woman through what Asher had done to her?
“Not exclusive because we weren’t dating. We were just…messing around, I guess.”
She scowled, though she tried to hide it, and he smirked. “I know that’s not what you want to hear.”
“What do you mean?”
“You want that happily ever after, and you’re trying hard to believe that not all guys are the jerks that this guy was.”
She waited for him to deny it, but he didn’t. “Is there a ‘but’ coming?”
He set his beer down on the counter. “Yeah, he’ll come around someday, maybe.”
She nodded, taking a drink and letting the cool beverage calm her racing heart. “Okay,” she said, because what else was there to say?
“Someday you’ll meet someone who wants the same things that you do, Blythe. And you may get hurt along the way, but if it’s worth the risk to you, then more power to you. You’ll find him. Screw this guy.”
She sucked in a breath, feeling betrayed by the disappointment she felt. It wasn’t like she was hoping Finn would take her in his arms and declare his love for her, but somehow that possibility wouldn’t have been the worst thing. He was clearly drawing the line, though. Someday she’d meet someone. Not a month ago. That someone wasn’t him.
“So, what should we do?”
He frowned. “What would you like to do?”
“Honestly, I’m exhausted and starving. I’m a pretty lame date, I guess. It’s been a long day.”
He patted the counter. “Oh, thank God.” She lowered her brow, waiting for an explanation. “I worked all morning, and honestly, I’m pretty tired, too. If you said you wanted to go out, I was going to put on my dancing shoes and take you out, but my God, I was going to hate it.” He laughed, a hand on his stomach. She couldn’t get over how much his laugh warmed her.
“Well, that’s incredibly nice of you, but I won’t subject either of us to such torture.”
“I appreciate it,” he told her, leaning over the counter into a bow.
“So…should I go, then?”
“Up to you,” he said simply. “I’m in no way ready to entertain, but if you’re okay with a low-key night in, you’re welcome to stay.”
She lit up at his words. “I would love to stay.”
“Say no more,” he told her, pulling out his cell phone. “What are you craving? Pizza, okay? We’ll order in and watch terrible TV and probably crash way too early. I told you I’m pretty lame tonight.”
“Are you sure you’re okay with that?” she asked.
“Shhh,” he silenced her, already on the phone and ordering a pizza. She turned away from him, walking back toward the living room to settle onto the couch with a growing smile on her face.
Once the pizza had been ordered, he sank down beside her, seeming completely at ease. How she longed to feel the same, but she couldn’t ignore the electricity pulsing through her body. She tried to think of Asher and how she must only feel this way because Finn was there for her when she needed him—twice now, in fact—but thinking of Asher only made her feel sick, so she let her mind wander.
“So…” Finn said, breaking up the silence. He set his beer on the coffee table and propped his feet up, placing his hands behind his head. “How are you liking New York so far?”
“Much better than my first day,” she said. “That’s for sure.”
“But not better than your second, right?” he joked.
She smirked. “I’m surprised we haven’t run into each other, honestly.”
“It’s a big city,” he reminded her. “Unless you want to find someone, you usually don’t.”
She paused. “You didn’t want to find me?” she asked, surprising herself with the question.
He stared at her, his face serious. He seemed to be contemplating what to say next, his gaze darting back and forth between her eyes. He opened his mouth but shut it again. Suddenly, before she realized what was happening, he leaned down, his knuckle under her chin as he lifted her mouth to his. His stubble scraped her skin, his lips warm against hers as she sank into the kiss. She let out a breath through her nose, wrapping her arms around his neck—careful not to spill the beer in her hand.
He cradled her face with both hands, his touch delicate but commanding. When they broke apart, both gasping for air, it was too soon. She stared at him with wide eyes, her forefinger on her lips as she waited for him to make the next move.
“Does that answer your question?” he asked, picking up the beer again and grabbing the remote.
“Mhm,” s
he said, still trying to collect her racing thoughts. He’d answered her question and given her so many more.
Chapter Eight
The next morning, Blythe woke up next to Finn in his bed. His arm was pinned underneath her and her head rested comfortably on his chest. They hadn’t slept together—not that she hadn’t wanted to—but she had managed to get one more mind-blowing kiss after the pizza just before they’d both crashed. They were exhausted, after all. It was nice how comfortable they were with each other, she thought. It was nice that despite her anxiety, which had settled some, her mind could find a bit of solace in his arms and quiet enough for her to fall asleep and forget, just for the moment, about the heartbreak she’d experienced a few hours before.
When she sat up, he stirred, rubbing a hand over his face as his eyes focused on her. He seemed confused at first, but a smile quickly found its way to his lips.
“Hey,” he whispered, his voice coated in sleep.
“Hey,” she said, leaning over onto one arm.
“How’d you sleep?”
“Like a baby,” she answered honestly.
“I’m glad,” he told her. They didn’t touch, and he didn’t move in for a kiss, but the look in his eyes told her their intimate—albeit small—moments from the night before hadn’t been forgotten. He looked over at his phone, picking it up from the nightstand littered with receipts and water bottles and letting out a yawn. “I have to be at work soon.”
“Right,” she said, staring around the room for her own phone. Where had she left it?
“What are your plans for the day?”
“I have to work, too,” she said. It was true, though she was thinking incredibly hard about calling in sick.
“When will you be off?” he asked, pushing himself up off the bed and throwing on a shirt.
“Late,” she said. “Ten-ish, maybe. Depending on how quickly we get everything cleaned up.”
He let out another yawn before leaning down and kissing her lips quickly. “Long day.”
“Mhm,” she mumbled. When he pulled away, she stood from the bed, noticing her phone lying on the floor. She picked it up and slid it into her back pocket. “Well, I guess I’ll get going.”
He nodded. “Want some coffee before you leave?”
“I’m okay, thanks,” she said stiffly, unable to hide the frustration in her voice. She was being dismissed. Clearly last night hadn’t meant to him half of what it had meant to her.
“Sure,” he said, walking down the hallway. She followed closely behind, flicking through several Facebook notifications and a text message from Asher.
Can we talk?
“The guy?” Finn asked, interrupting her thoughts.
“What?”
“He texted you, right?”
“How do you know?”
“Why wouldn’t he?” Finn asked, a sad smile on his face. Or was it her imagination that it was sad?
“Yeah, he wants to talk.”
“What are you going to do?”
“I don’t know…” she said honestly. She wanted Finn to give her a reason not to talk to Asher again. To tell her that he was going to fight for her. That she deserved better. Instead, he nodded and opened the door. “You think I should talk to him?”
He let out a breath, rubbing the sleep from his eye. She liked the way his hair was a mess in the morning, even messier than hers, surprisingly enough. “I think the guy is a jerk, Blythe, but he’s not my boyfriend.”
“He’s not my boyfriend either,” she said. Apparently. “Look, Finn…about last night…” She trailed off, hoping he would finish her sentence.
“It doesn’t have to mean anything,” he told her. “You were confused and upset.”
“I was,” she said. “But not about that. Not about what happened between us.”
“We kissed, Blythe. You can say the word.”
“We did kiss,” she confirmed.
“Like I said, it doesn’t have to mean anything.”
“Did it, though?” she asked. “To you?”
He rolled his head back, covering his eyes. “It’s too early in the morning for this conversation,” he said, adding a yawn for emphasis.
“Okay,” she said finally, her pride taking a hit as she walked past him. “Thanks for letting me stay here last night, Finn. I’ll see you. Maybe.” She lowered her head as she walked away.
“Blythe, wait,” he called, his voice sending a wave of hope through her. She spun around.
“Yeah?”
“If he’s still not your boyfriend when you get off work, come back.”
Her jaw nearly dropped as she said the words. “Come back here?”
“What else would I mean by that?”
A smile grew on her face. “Okay,” she practically screamed, her voice way too perky. “I will.”
He scowled, looking a bit happy in spite of himself. “Don’t read too much into it…or whatever.”
She nodded, unable to tame her smile. “See you tonight.”
“Yeah, yeah,” he muttered, turning away and shutting the door. She hadn’t missed the brilliant smile that had grown on his face as he dismissed her.
Chapter Nine
At work that night, Blythe moved with a lightness she hadn’t known in a while—maybe her whole life. That was what falling in love was like, wasn’t it? Light. Shining through you. Lifting you up. No matter how many times you fall in love, every single time always feels like it’s the first. Like this time is somehow different. Somehow better. Okay, so she wasn’t falling in love just yet, but that didn’t stop the expanding feeling her heart had claimed for its own. She watched the clock, the hands moving slower and slower as she grew closer to the end of the party.
At just past eight, one of her female coworkers, Tyler, approached her. “Hey, Blythe, there’s someone outside for you.”
“What?” she asked. No one in New York knew her. Except her aunt, and why wouldn’t she call? Well, her aunt or Finn. Or Asher. She hated the hope that fluttered through her at the thought of Asher. She’d chosen not to respond to his text and she’d ignored the phone call that came through around noon, but he’d made no further attempts to contact her. It wasn’t him. Probably. “Can you cover?” she asked, turning to head back toward the kitchen.
“Sure,” Tyler responded. “Go ahead.”
She walked through the swinging door that led into the kitchen and set her empty tray down. As she walked toward the back of the house, she spied him through the glass of the storm door. “Asher?”
He nodded, his eyes narrowing as he saw her, an uncertain smile spreading across his cheeks. “Hi,” he said.
“What are you doing here?”
“I tried to call.”
“Yeah, I saw.”
“You’re ignoring me?” he asked.
She twisted her mouth in thought. “I’m not ignoring you, I just need time to figure out what I want.”
“I know. I assumed.” He stuck his hands in his pockets. “Look, can we just…talk?” he asked, reaching for the door handle. She nodded, stepping out as he pulled it open.
“What do you want to talk about?”
He sighed. “About how much of an idiot I am.” His words surprised her. His face showed a small, hopeful smile as he waited for her to speak. When she didn’t, he went on. “I’m sorry if I hurt you. I’m sorry if what happened took you by surp—”
“You don’t have to do this,” she interrupted.
“No, I want to.” He took a breath, reaching for her hand. “When you walked away from me last night, I realized something I hadn’t until that point. I’m crazy about you, Blythe, and that scares me. We haven’t known each other long, not long enough for me to feel this way about you. But I do. And what scares me even more is the idea of you walking away for good and me never seeing you again. I…I don’t know if I could do that.”
She furrowed her brow. “So, what are you saying?”
“I’m saying…if you need us to be exclusi
ve, I think I can do that.”
“I don’t want to give you an ultimatum, Asher. That’s not the point. Last night just surprised me. I assumed we were exclusive, and that was my fault—”
“No, no it wasn’t. I should’ve been more clear.”
She patted the top of his hand with hers. “It was both of our faults. But, to be honest, I’m not sure that I can do the non-exclusive thing. That still may be a dealbreaker for me.”
“Then I’ll—”
“But,” she held up a hand, “even more than that, I can’t feel like I’ve forced you.”
“So, what are you saying?” he asked, scratching the back of his neck.
“I…I just need time, Asher. I need space to figure everything out. I do like you. I do want to see you again, but I need—”
He grabbed her hands, kissing her fingers softly. “So, will you see me tomorrow?”
“I work,” she told him, picking at a piece of skin around her fingernail.
“Oh,” he said sadly. “Okay.
“But, I’m off the next day,” she offered. “I could meet you for lunch.”
“Lunch would be great,” he said, his expression filled with joy. He looked like a puppy dog that had been handed a bone, and she couldn’t help being flattered by his persistence.
“Okay.”
He leaned forward, his lips brushing hers with a light kiss. “I’m going to make this up to you, Blythe.”
She smiled, letting go of his hand and grabbing the door handle with blushing cheeks. “Just text me the details.”
Chapter Ten
After work that night, feeling more exhilarating than exhausted, Blythe made her way across town in a hurry. Though she still had Asher’s words flowing through her mind, the promise of returning to Finn’s place hadn’t left her thoughts since she’d walked out of his building that morning. She couldn’t understand why she was so excited to see him, but she was. There was no denying the effect he had on her; though Asher had a similar one. She’d thought she’d given up one option to be able to take another, but Asher had changed his mind. Where exactly did that leave her?
The Better Choice Page 5