She couldn’t stand the idea of choosing either one of them—if Finn was even an option in the first place. He hadn’t said for sure. In fact, he’d told her specifically not to read too much into it. But that kiss hadn’t been nothing. His touch had sent lightning to her toes…surely he’d felt it, too? She needed to see where Finn stood before she could make a decision. She needed to know if he was even putting himself in the running.
As she approached his building, taking the steps two at a time, she landed on his floor with excitement ready to explode in her chest. She knocked twice, surprised when he answered almost immediately.
He’d showered, his hair still slightly wet and the apartment smelling of soap. He was dressed in a black T-shirt and jeans, not too dressed up but not entirely casual. “Hey,” he said, his voice raised slightly. He’d been waiting for her. Pacing by the door, maybe, if his speed in answering it were any indication. She stepped inside the apartment.
“Hi,” she told him, staring at him awkwardly. Should she go in for a hug? Another kiss? It felt strange to do nothing. Luckily, he eased her worries by shutting the door and running a hand through his hair.
“How was…um, how was work?”
“Work was okay,” she said, setting down her purse.
“I wasn’t sure if you wanted to stay in or go out.”
She looked at her clothes, a white blouse with black vest and black pants. “We can go out,” she said, “but let me just change out of my work clothes.”
“Sure,” he told her, stepping out of her way so that she could disappear down the hallway. He noticed something still slung over one shoulder he hadn’t seen when she arrived.
She pulled the simple black sundress from her bag, sliding it over her shoulders and pulling her hair down from her bun. Her wavy hair fell down her back, still imprinted from the updo she’d sported all day. She reached in her bag and pulled out a hairbrush, running it through her locks in an attempt to tame them. When she’d managed to force them into looking somewhat decent, she put on an extra coat of Chapstick, deodorant, and mascara. She wasn’t date-ready by any means, but it would do.
“Do you even have clothes?” he asked, shocking her as his voice came from the opposite side of the closed door.
“I stopped before work to pick up some things,” she told him. “I wasn’t sure if I’d be staying, but I packed for it just in case.”
He was silent for a moment, and she worried if she’d assumed wrong. “You can stay for as long as you need to, Blythe,” he said eventually. “I’ve told you that before.”
She opened the bedroom door, staring at him. “Thank you.”
He nodded, stepping back as his eyes trailed down her body to where the hem of her dress met her tanned legs. “Did, uh,” he looked back up to meet her eyes, “I’m assuming you never heard from the guy?”
She cleared her throat. “I did, actually.”
“You did?” he asked. His tone wasn’t shocked or angry, which left her unsure how to feel. “How did it go?”
“He wants to get back together. Exclusively.” Her eyes darted between his, trying to judge his guarded expression.
“So…are you going to?”
She shrugged. “I told him I needed time.”
“I see.”
“Because I wanted to see…I mean, I don’t want to assume…” She held out a hand, hoping she wouldn’t have to elaborate and make a fool of herself if she was wrong. When it became obvious he wasn’t going to help her out, she sucked in a deep breath. “I didn’t know what to tell him about us.”
He eased down the hallway, looking back over his shoulder as he spoke. “I don’t think there’s anything to tell.”
“There’s not?” she asked.
He turned back around to face her, his eyes on her lips. “Do you want there to be?”
“I mean, last night wasn’t nothing to me. It meant something.” He nodded but didn’t respond. “Did it mean something to you?” she asked.
He looked down, then back up, meeting her eyes. “Of course it did,” he said. “But I don’t want to promise you something I can’t give.”
“What do you mean?” she asked.
“I…look, I do like you, Blythe. But I’m not in a place for a relationship.”
“Oh,” she said, taking a step back from him as cool tears stung her eyes. She was embarrassed. What had she been thinking? “Okay.”
“Don’t be upset,” he told her, reaching for her arm.
“What was this, then, Finn? What was tonight? Why would you invite me back? You just thought you could sleep with me and send me away like the girl from last night?”
He let out a soft laugh, then his face went serious again. “I wasn’t going to sleep with you, Blythe.”
“Why is that funny?” she demanded.
“It’s not funny. You’re right that I shouldn’t have invited you here without explaining why I was. You were confused about everything with your boyfriend, and I didn’t want to add to that. But…I wanted to see you again.”
“I wanted to see you, too.”
“But I can’t date you.”
“Why?” she asked.
“Because…you made it clear last night that you are looking for something serious.”
She nodded with her lips pressed firmly together, slapping her leg. “Great. So, I scared you off.”
“It’s not that,” he said. “It’s just…it wouldn’t be fair to you to let you come into this expecting more than I can offer. I know what I bring to the table, and stability doesn’t come with my territory. I do like you, but, more than that, I care about you, so I want to be fair to your feelings.”
“I don’t understand.”
“I know,” he told her. “And I don’t expect you to.”
“So, that’s it? You’re just taking yourself out of the running?”
“I don’t deserve to be in the running with a girl like you.”
She sank onto the arm of the couch. “A girl like me?” she demanded. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
“You’re just…I don’t know. You’re special.”
“Thanks, Dad,” she teased, feeling sad at the thought of her own dad.
“You know what I mean.”
“No. I don’t,” she insisted. “Because what you’re saying is ridiculous. What? I’m too good for you? You have your own apartment. You have a job. You took care of me when I was just a stranger. You’ve offered to let me stay here despite the fact that I’m still basically a stranger. What part of you is bad?”
“I didn’t say I was bad,” he said quickly. “I’m not a bad guy.”
“I know that.”
“It’s just…I’m not stable. I’m not the best choice for you. But that doesn’t mean I don’t wish I was. I want to be selfish, but you deserve more than that.”
“I decide what I deserve, Finn,” she told him, poking his chest with her finger. “No one else.”
“Look, all I’m saying is that if you want happily ever after, you should choose someone else. I’m not that guy.”
She nodded, her throat tight. “Fair enough.”
“So, do you still want to go out, or…”
“Do you still want to?”
He smirked. “I’m starving.”
“Okay, then.” She stood, watching as his expression filled with relief and he turned around, pulling open the door. When she drew close to him, he reached for her arm, stopping her before she passed through the door. She looked to her right, staring into his dark eyes as a fire lit in her belly. His lips parted slightly, his eyes darting between hers.
“Blythe, I—”
“Yeah?” she asked when he didn’t finish his sentence right away.
“I do want to be an option,” he said firmly. “I may be the wrong one. But I’ll hate myself if I don’t at least say that I want to be in the running.”
She leaned forward, pressing her lips to his without warning. “Keep it up, and you may just be in the
lead.”
Chapter Eleven
The next day, Blythe laid on the couch wearing Finn’s sweatpants and T-shirt. At the end of their date, he’d offered them to her, and though she had her own, she felt extra safe wearing his. There’d been a few more kisses, though nothing serious despite their amazing night. He was holding her at arm’s length, and she couldn’t for the life of her understand why.
A knock on the door startled her, and she sat up straight, looking around the empty apartment. Finn had just run out to get them breakfast from a cafe across the street, but she wasn’t sure why he’d be knocking. The knock came again, this time louder, and she stood, walking toward the door slowly.
“Finn—open the damn door!” called a gruff voice. She jumped back, bumping into the stool behind his kitchen island and knocking it over. “Damn it! I can hear you in there!” the voice called again, pounding on the door for a third time.
“Sorry!” she called, approaching the door and staring out through the peephole. “I’m sorry. Finn isn’t here right now.”
“Like hell he isn’t.”
“No, he’s really not.” She stared at the man through the blurred glass, taking in his bulky form, his long white beard, and the leather vest on his muscled shoulders. He snarled his lips at her, though she knew he couldn’t see her.
“Where is he, then?” he asked.
“He went to get breakfast. He’ll be back. I can tell him you stopped by.”
“No. I’ll wait,” he said angrily. “Are you going to let me in or what?” His fist collided with the wood of the door, shaking it in the frame.
“Who are you?” she asked.
“I’m—”
“What the hell are you doing here?” Finn’s voice shocked them both as it climbed the stairwell. She tried hard to find him in the small line of vision the peephole allowed her.
“I should ask you the same thing. You weren’t even going to contact me? I had to find out you lived here from Jack.”
“Yeah, with good reason,” Finn said angrily. “What are you doing here?”
“What kind of a hello is that after all these years?”
“It’s not,” Finn spat. “You aren’t welcome here.”
The man folded his arms across his chest, and Blythe spied a sleeve of tattoos on his bicep. “You don’t even know all that’s happened since you’ve been gone.”
“I don’t have to know, Tommy. Jack should’ve never told you where I live. He knew that.”
“Well, he did. So whatcha gonna do about it? Move?”
“I’m not running,” he said firmly. Finn squared shoulders with the man, no fear evident in his eyes though he was less than half the size of the boulder of a man. They stood roughly the same height, but Tommy looked like he spent his life in a gym, while Finn was leaner.
Tommy scoffed, shaking his head. “You always were a stupid little shit, weren’t you?”
“Do you need something? I don’t have any money.”
“Figures,” he said, blowing a breath of air out his nose. “I can see you’re…busy…anyway.” He gestured toward the door. “What do you say I come back?”
“The answer will be the same then. Get out of my doorway and leave me alone.”
“We’ll see about that,” he said, but to Blythe’s surprise he stepped aside, letting Finn pass.
Finn put his key in the lock, looking over his shoulder to make sure the man was walking away before opening the door. When he entered the apartment, it was with a sudden burst of adrenaline, and he slammed it shut just as quickly, locking the two deadbolts. When he looked at her, his eyes were wild with fear. “Did he hurt you? Did he say anything to you?”
“No, I’m fine. Who was that?”
Finn leaned his back against the door, sliding down slightly and letting out a breath as he stared at the ceiling. The man had rattled him much more than he’d let on in the hallway. After a moment, he pushed off from the door, moving to the counter to empty the brown paper sack in his hand.
“Everything bagel and sweet tea, just like you requested.” He set the food down, walking down the hall away from her without offering an answer.
“Finn?” she called after him, not bothering to touch her food. “Are you okay?”
When he reached the door, he glanced at her, offering a small smile. “I’m fine,” he assured her. “Just give me a sec, okay?”
She nodded. “O-okay,” she replied, but the door was already creaking shut with him on the other side. She returned to her bagel, her stomach growling despite the fact that her mind was on anything but food at that moment.
She picked at her food, taking a sip of the tea that made her miss home so much. It had been so long since she’d even thought about home. New York consumed her mind. There was so much to do and see, think about and talk about, and Texas had taken a backseat to her new home. But the tea made her miss it, despite the fact that it wasn’t true sweet tea. Not the kind she was used to. The sugar had been added in once it had cooled, she could tell. A typical mistake in the North, but one her Southern tongue recognized immediately.
The door to the bedroom opened and Finn emerged, back in his pajamas. He walked past the food he’d gotten for himself and sank onto the couch, a haunted expression on his face.
She walked toward him, sitting on the cushion next to him and placing her hand on his knee. “Should I be worried?”
He looked up at her, and she expected him to cast her fears aside, but instead he frowned. “I’m sorry, Blythe.”
“What are you sorry fo—”
“I’m so sorry. I never should’ve left you here alone.”
“I was fine.”
“You might not have been. I’d never forgive myself if something had happened to you.”
She took his face in her hands, forcing him to look at her. “Nothing happened, Finn. I’m fine. I knew better than to open the door.”
“He’d’ve gotten in if he wanted to.” He sighed, running his palm over his face as he pulled away from her hands.
“But he didn’t. Are you going to tell me who he is, anyway?”
“Someone from my past,” he said simply. “Someone I never wanted to see again.”
“How did he find you?” she asked. “Who is ‘Jack’? The man who told him where you live.”
He furrowed his brow. “Jack is…someone I used to know. Look, I’ll handle it, okay? I don’t want you involved.”
“Involved in what? Are you…is something dangerous going on?”
He looked down, taking her hand in his with a grimace on his face. “I want you to leave, Blythe.”
“W-what?” she asked with a half laugh. She was sure he was kidding because it was so out of the blue. “What are you talking about?”
“You need to leave. I can’t see you anymore.”
“No,” she said softly, her heart fluttering at the mere possibility. “Why?”
“Because I’ve put you in danger, and I can’t have that.”
“I’m not afraid,” she tried to argue.
“It doesn’t matter,” he said sternly, his voice raised in frustration. “It doesn’t matter how you feel. How either of us feel. You need to leave. Now. I’m revoking my offer for you to stay. You have to leave, and you can never come back here. Do you hear me?” He stood from the couch, walking across the room.
“Because you don’t want me here, or because I’m in danger?”
“You aren’t in danger. They have no idea who you are, and I’m going to make sure it stays that way.”
“Who are they? I don’t want to leave, Finn…”
“Damn it, Blythe,” he said, slamming his fist onto the back of the couch. He lowered his voice when he saw the fear that filled her eyes. Her father had been soft spoken, even in the most trying times. A man’s voice being raised caused her to hyperventilate, and it usually ended in tears. “I’m sorry, okay? I’m so sorry.”
“Don’t be sorry,” she whispered. “Just…tell me what’s goin
g on.”
He walked toward the bedroom, and she wondered if he might be going to get some vital piece of the puzzle that would explain this alternate universe she seemed to have stepped into, but when he returned, he was carrying her bag. “You need to leave.”
She nodded, setting her drink on the coffee table and taking the bag from his hands without another word. She knew when she wasn’t welcome. She walked toward the door and pulled it open.
“Blythe, I—” She turned, studying his conflicted expression. He looked down. “Goodbye.”
She stepped through the door. “Goodbye, Finn.”
Chapter Twelve
“You came,” Asher said, standing up from the table as she entered the restaurant.
“Are you surprised?”
“I am, actually,” he said with a laugh, placing an arm around her waist as he kissed her cheek.
“I wouldn’t have made the plans if I wasn’t going to follow through, Asher.” She sank into the chair. “How are you?”
“I’m…better now,” he told her, taking a seat after she did. “Have you had a chance to think about what I said?”
She nodded. “I miss seeing you.”
He let out a sigh of relief, reaching across the table to take her hand. “I miss seeing you, too.”
“But I’m still not sure I want to be exclusive. I don’t want to feel like I’m forcing you.”
He kissed her fingertips. “You aren’t, though, Blythe. You aren’t.”
She took a sip of the wine that was waiting in her glass, impressed that he remembered her preference of red over white. With so many girls to keep track of, anyway. She dismissed the thought from her mind. “So, in your text you said you had something you wanted to talk to me about?”
He took a drink, as if trying to gain a bit of liquid courage, and rubbed his hands together, adjusting in his seat. “I do.” He paused. “I know we are still in a weird place, and I know you don’t trust me yet, but I really like you, Blythe. Like, really, really like you. I didn’t realize it until you walked away from me. I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you. I’m not dating anyone else. I’m all-in with you.”
The Better Choice Page 6