Shifted Illusions

by C. E. Black

  As I’d slowly slid out of her, she’d sucked in a breath; the sound going straight to my heart.

  “What is it? Did I hurt you?”

  “No.” She’d sighed. “I’m sore, but it was perfect. I promise. I wonder what happened to Leo?” Her expression had said she’d already had an idea where he’d gone. But I had my doubts.

  “It’s not you,” I’d assured her. “You heard him. He has problems opening up.”

  “Funny. Because I’m pretty sure he ran out of here not long after I admitted my inexperience. It’s okay, though. He wanted to avoid the pressure. I get it.”

  “First of all, it’s not okay. He should have said something. Second, yeah, there was definitely the added pressure to make it good for you.”

  She’d grinned, and I’d been so thankful to find her eyes clear of disappointment, I’d leaned down to give her a quick kiss.

  “Mmm,” she’d hummed. “No worries there. It was fantastic. I’ve been missing out.”

  Growling, I’d nipped her lip. The sound of her giggle had gone straight to my heart. “I hope to show you so much more.”

  She’d pushed at my shoulder until I’d laid flat on my back, then straddled my hips. “I’m counting on it.”

  Our second round of lovemaking had been slow and careful. And after our combined climaxes, we’d fallen to the bed sweaty and breathless. And completely sated, if the tired grin she’d gifted me with had been any sign. I’d definitely floated on a high, happier than I’d ever been before.

  But as Beth had drifted to sleep in my arms, irritation and disquiet for Leo’s actions had crept back in. Leo wouldn’t have walked out on Beth unless he’d had a good reason. There was no way it had anything to do with her inexperience as Beth had surmised.

  I remembered him leaning over her, licking and nibbling her breasts. The sight of his hands on her skin had me so on edge, I’d almost come right then and there. No, he was definitely into it. Into Beth.

  But had it been me?

  I’d always known Leo was attracted to me. But attraction didn’t mean you necessarily sought to sleep with the person. And sharing a woman? Maybe it wasn’t his thing. That theory didn’t sit right either, though.

  Early the next morning, I heard Leo’s car pull into the driveway. He’d stayed out all night. I knew because I hadn’t slept a wink.

  I carefully unwrapped Beth and slid out of bed. Slipping on a pair of sweats I found in one of Leo’s drawers, I left Beth sleeping to locate my best friend. He had some explaining to do. If nothing else, he at least owed Beth an apology for not talking to her before splitting.

  Leo came in the door and threw his keys on the little end table without looking up. I crossed my arms and waited for him to say something. Instead, he pushed past me like I wasn’t there. The unmistakable scent of sweat followed him. It soaked the back of his shirt.

  “Want to tell me what last night was all about?” I grilled.

  With a careless shrug, he twisted around and gave me cold, dead eyes. “Simple. Wasn’t feeling it.”

  “Bullshit,” I called him out. “What are you scared of?”

  He scoffed, but his cheeks turned a shade of red I’d never seen before. Either anger or embarrassment was keeping him from talking.

  “Whatever, dude. I need a shower.” He pushed past me again, this time to get to the stairs. “I’m using your bathroom so I don’t disturb you and Beth.”

  Seething from his dismissal, I silently watched him jog up the stairs. I should have let him go until I’d calmed down. But I couldn’t. Beth deserved an explanation. There was something going on with him, and I planned to get to the bottom of it.

  My bedroom had an attached master bath, and my office had once been a third bedroom. I spent a lot of time up there. Always alone. The sound of Leo in the shower gave me an odd but pleasant sensation.

  None of it mattered, though. Leo needed to answer for what he’d done. And I was determined to find out exactly what the problem was.

  I pushed into the bathroom, ready for a fight, and instead, stopped in my tracks, transfixed. The glass shower door had yet to steam up, allowing me to see… everything.

  A hiss escaped between my gritted teeth.

  Leo stood under the streaming water, his head down with one hand braced against the shower wall. While the other jerked angrily between his legs. I followed the curve of his shoulder, over his back and buttocks. His muscular thighs, taut with tension, spread shoulder width, strong and powerful.

  He shifted just his head to look at me. Steam was beginning fog up the glass, blurring his outline. But his eyes were still crystal clear and knowing. I hadn’t surprised him. He’d known I was there. And from the way his hand never slowed, he didn’t care.

  But I did.

  His distraction worked. But for only a moment.

  I removed my gaze from his body and crossed my arms. “Was it me? Was having me there with Beth too much for you?”

  Lines appeared next to his eyes as they narrowed. “What are you talking about?”

  “Don’t fucking play with me, Leo. That was a shitty move you made. The least you could have done was talk to Beth before running scared.”

  “I’m not scared.”

  “Right.” I shook my head. “Why don’t you let go of your cock for a second and talk to me.”

  Leo slammed his hand against the nozzle and the water shut off abruptly. The humidity in the room had risen, condensation gathered on the mirror and the bottom of the shower doors. Silence hung in the air as I waited for Leo to fly out of the shower in anger, or maybe even tell me to get the fuck out. He did neither.

  His shoulders rose and fell as he took a deep breath. “I can’t be with Beth.”

  “Why not? She wanted us. She wanted you. Are you saying you’re upset about her inexperience? That’s bullshit, Leo.”

  “Fuck no, Hawk,” he growled. “None of this is Beth’s fault.”

  “Damn right, it’s not. So fucking tell me what the hell is wrong with you.”

  The shower door banged against the wall. “This, Hawk. This is what’s wrong with me.”

  A wet and furious Leo stepped out of the shower, and my gaze went straight to the ravaged skin on his shoulder, following it down to his rib cage. My breath caught because it didn’t end there.

  Below his navel, the scar tissue spread over his left hip and down his thigh. His cock, the tip purple with anger, stood thick and hard but hadn’t escaped the damage. The rippled flesh wrapped around his scrotum and up the base of his cock.

  Leo’s snort brought my attention back to his face. The puckered skin on his cheek twisted as he sneered. “Disgusting, right?” He ripped the towel from the bar and wrapped it around his waist. “Now do you understand why I left? No one deserves this. Especially not Beth.”

  “You’re right,” I said, hating the way those words made him flinch. But he needed to hear this. “You’re right. No one deserves that. You don’t deserve this. And you sure as hell don’t deserve the self-deprecation. Do you assume Beth to be so shallow? Or what about me?”

  His eyes had widened as I’d spoke, then he shut them tight and shook his head. “It doesn’t matter. She doesn’t deserve to be with someone as damaged as I am.”

  He started to shove past me once again, but this time, I grabbed him by the arm and held on when he tried to shake me off. I wasn’t letting him go again. “And what about me? Do I deserve someone like you?”

  Slowly, his chin lifted until we were nose to nose. We were nearly the same height, though I had him by a couple of inches. All it would take was for either of us to lean forward a hair’s breadth for our lips to touch. Which was exactly what I longed to do.

  He licked his lips, and I sucked in a breath.

  “Spit it out, Hawk. What is it you’re asking?” His blue eyes, so cold and hard earlier, were now a dark and turbulent ocean. “And you better be fucking clear,” he growled.

  “How’s this for clear?” I pressed my lips
to his and braced for rejection. My stomach churning with nerves as I waited for his reaction. But apparently, my move hadn’t surprised Leo. His fingers threaded through my hair, and he shoved me against the wall. My hands gripped his wrists, needing to hold on to something as his tongue thrust into my mouth.

  His masculine scent was intoxicating, and the slight roughness of his stubbled cheek scratched against mine. An entirely new sensation. And not at all unpleasant.

  I sucked at his bottom lip, groaning when he nipped mine. He ground his cock against me, and my hips jerked to meet his.

  “I want you so fucking bad,” I groaned against his lips.

  Panting, we stared at one another, a wealth of information passing between us. “Is this happening?” his gaze seemed to ask. While mine answered back, “hell yes.”

  “About fucking time,” he whispered. Then his mouth was back on mine, and we were moving out of the bathroom and toward my bed.

  Years of pent up tension exploded between us, and we became a bundle of arms and legs, teeth and tongues, hands and cocks. I couldn’t stop touching him, and as his callused fingers trailed down my abs for the third time, it seemed, neither could he.

  I couldn’t believe this was actually happening. It was my last thought, before everything but Leo became irrelevant. But as Leo had pointed out, it was about fucking time.

  18

  Beth

  Cool air swept across my wet skin as I pulled back the shower curtain and stepped out of the tub. Shivering, I pulled a giant blue towel off the rack and wrapped it around my body almost twice with relief. After using a second, smaller towel to bound my dripping hair, I swiped the condensation from the mirror and stared at my reflection.

  The hot water attributed to my pink cheeks. Henri, on the other hand, caused the new sparkle of excitement in my eyes. For my first time, it couldn’t have gone better. Henri had been a generous lover, and I couldn’t stop fantasizing about doing it again.

  The only blight to an otherwise perfect experience? Leo.

  My smile slowly diminished. The rejection had been a bitter pill to swallow, but something about Leo sneaking out didn’t feel right. Why touch me as though I would disappear? Why kiss me with so much passion, only to change his mind at the last minute? And without a word?

  I wanted to be angry. Instead, sadness caused my heart to ache because I suspected his disappearing act had something to do with his self-esteem. Or lack thereof.

  In the short time I’d known Leo, I’d learned something very important. The image of a self-possessed lion shifter with a penchant for teasing was only a front. He needed someone to be tender with him and his emotions. Only, they couldn’t be obvious about it.

  I had a plan to let him have it for sneaking out without talking to me first. A little rant and a few boisterous growls should get my point across. Plus, he deserved it. Then, if things went as planned, a little TLC would be in order. After I let him apologize.

  In my duffle bag, I found the jeans and V-neck sweater I’d worn for my date. Because it was the best outfit I owned, I’d placed them in the bag after I’d changed. Maybe my subconscious had been telling me something.

  It was crazy to conceive only a few days had passed since my almost date with Leo. It seemed like a lifetime ago. Now I was in Henri and Leo’s home, and they were the protective barrier between me and my atrocious uncle. The fact a relationship between all of us was rapidly blooming was hard to wrap my head around.

  To consider the number of things running through my head would take too much time, and I’d never leave this room.

  Once I was dressed, I expected to find Henri in the kitchen, doing what I’d gleaned as a hobby of his—cooking. But the kitchen was empty, with no sign he’d been there. However, his phone was on the table, so he had to be somewhere around here.

  Spinning on my heels, I went back to the living area and stopped. Where could he have gone?

  A noise from upstairs made me smile. Found you!

  Assuming I’d find Henri in his room, my steps were silent as I made my way up to the second floor, hoping to give him a little scare. I quietly opened the bedroom door, biting my lip to hold back my grin…

  You know what they say about assuming. It makes an ass out of you and me. But as I stood in the doorway, no longer grinning, I didn’t feel like an ass. I felt broken.

  The image of the two men I was coming to care for intertwined on the bed seared into my brain as I ran down the stairs. I kept my steps quiet, not wanting to call attention to this embarrassing moment. I also didn’t want them to stop me from what I was about to do next.

  I needed to get out of there. But I wasn’t stupid. Leo and Henri might be busy at the moment, but they were still my protection detail. And it wouldn’t surprise me if my uncle was waiting for a mistake like this to happen.

  A plan forming, I snatched Henri’s phone from the table and scrolled through his contacts until I found the one I was looking for and pressed call.

  “Yo, Hawk! What’s up, loverboy?”

  “Foxy, can you come get me?”

  Without hesitation, she replied, “I’m on my way.”

  Foxy parked her Jeep in front of a contemporary, ranch-style home made of cedar and stone siding and unbuckled her seat belt.

  “Where are we?”

  “Sam’s house.” When she offered no more information, I gave her a look. Rolling her eyes, Foxy threw open her door and hopped down. “She’s a friend, come on.”

  The front door flew open, and a short brunette with a toddler on her hip waved. Now more curious than suspicious, I slid from the Jeep and followed Foxy.

  “Hey, you!” The woman squealed as she pulled the fox shifter in for a one-armed hug. “It’s been forever since you’ve stopped by.”

  “I was just here for Sunday dinner, Sam,” Foxy grumbled.

  “Too long,” came the brunette’s reply. “We need another girls’ night. I’m sure Paul wouldn’t mind babysitting again.”

  While I tried in vain to pick my jaw off the ground, Foxy laughed, the sound bursting with happiness and mischief. Paul? Babysit? The same Paul with the intense eyes who threw me into a panic attack? No freaking way.

  “He does adore hanging out with Ava. It’s Sophie who’s been giving him a run for his money. Too much like your uncle Paul, aren’t you, precious?” She cooed at the girl on Sam’s hip. “Oh, Sam, this is Beth. She’s hanging out with me today. Men troubles,” she faux whispered.

  “Mmm, we know all about those,” Sam replied. “Hi, Beth. Good to meet you. Come on in and tell me which of our guys needs their head examined. Ignore the mess. I pick up one toy, and they throw two more in its place.”

  I expected a toy-apocalypse, but the house was clean in my book. A few stuffed animals and a dollhouse in the corner, a mess did not make.

  Sam led us through the foyer and past a dining room. The living room opened into the kitchen, separated by a long granite island.

  “You have a beautiful home,” I told her as I sat on one side of a huge sectional couch.

  “Thanks. Would you like a drink? We have tea, coffee, wine…”

  “Water would be great.”

  “Water it is. Foxy?”

  “Vodka. Bring the bottle.” At Sam’s raised an eyebrow, Foxy grinned. “Just kidding. I’m on duty. I’ll have what Beth is having. But I’ll get it. You sit down,” she ordered, pointing to the couch.

  Sam narrowed her eyes at Foxy’s demand but grinned. “I have to put Sophie down for her nap. Help yourselves to whatever. I’ll be back in a few minutes.”

  “Where’s Ava?” Foxy asked her.

  “She’s having daddy-daughter time with Jordan and Alex. Be right back.”

  Foxy brought me a glass of iced water and sat next to me.

  “So, why are we here?” I asked.

  She sipped water and swallowed. “Lots of reasons. I thought you’d like to meet another woman in our little gang of misfits. And maybe you’d like to talk about what m
ade you run scared.”

  “I’m not scared,” I replied instantly. “I’m pissed.”

  “Then we can talk about that too.”

  “I already told you what happened in the car. I caught Leo and Henri in bed together. It’s over between us.”

  “Hmm… I’ll be right back.” Taking her glass with her, Foxy disappeared down the same hall Sam had entered, leaving me alone in an unfamiliar home with only my thoughts to keep me company. And what depressing thoughts they were.

  For one moment in time, I’d had this crazy idea I’d found something special. Things had been far from perfect. But I’d hoped we would work it out.

  My optimism disappeared when I’d discovered Leo and Hawk making love. With each other.

  It left me with so many questions. Were they in love with each other? If so, for how long? Had I only been a plaything between them? And if not, why had they pursued me?

  The only question I had an answer for was I now understood why Leo hadn’t wanted to make love with me. He’d preferred to be with Henri. Alone.

  Whatever their motives or feelings, I had to figure out a plan. Teij had assigned Henri and Leo as my protection detail. I needed them to stay alive. If I could, I would leave and never look back. But I couldn’t. Not with my uncle so close on my trail.

  Or could I?

  I’d done it before. In fact, maybe a change in location was exactly what I needed. If I bought a bus ticket to Atlanta, I could hide in the city for a day or two before making my way north. New York City would be the perfect place to disappear.

  The idea had merit, but the more details I planned in my mind, the worse I felt.

  “I hear you’re staying with Hawk and Leo,” Sam said as she came back into the room, Foxy trailing after her. She sat down next to me while Foxy took the love seat across from the oak coffee table.

  “Guess word gets around,” I muttered, looking at Foxy. She shrugged and crossed her legs.